Naruto, the Black Mage
by Kyrrlatur
Summary: Major AU. Kidnapped from Konoha and left to die, Naruto is trained in Black Magic by the unsent soul of Lulu. Powerful, possibly godlike Naruto. Cynical humor. Kyuubi as a battle doll! Complete.
1. Prologue

Author's Note: Goddamn plot bunny raped my mind and I kept thinking about this story until I finally wrote it down. I seem to have a slight fetish for highly powerful Narutos, as well as spellcasting Narutos. I'll think about that later, but for now, enjoy my plot bunny! I may have to keep it, now that I think about it.

"Talking"

"_Thinking"_

"**Spell/Jutsu"**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Final Fantasy X, or Lulu.

* * *

Prologue

Namikaze (though he doesn't know it yet) Uzumaki Naruto was currently in a crisis. Yes, this three year old child with short, spiky blonde hair, wide blue eyes the color of the ocean, and naturally tanned skin, marred only by three whisker-like birthmarks was in extreme trouble.

The old man had told him not to go outside on his birthday, October tenth, but he was too curious about the festival. So, following his three year old logic, he left the safety of his lonely apartment to follow his curiosity. Yes. He had an apartment at the age of three, something almost completely unheard of, even to the ninja populace. However, it wasn't because he was a prodigy (as nobody would even want to look at him without glaring, let alone teach him), but because the Orphanage had refused to take care of him.

So of course a three year old child would want to go see why all those people were having fun, right? It was foolish for the Sandaime to believe he'd stay inside.

He had left his apartment, and walked down the main road, completely oblivious to all the glares and malicious chuckling following him, looking on in wide-eyed amazement at all the pretty colors of the festival, the way only a child could. Of course, nobody seemed to believe that he was a child. To them, he was the Kyuubi incarnate, the Nine Tailed Demon Fox that had attacked their village only three years previous. The three fine whisker-like marks on his cheeks seemed to further their misguided belief that he was out to get them all, by hell or high water.

Of course, human stupidity is quite limitless, so instead of being _smart _and trying to train the 'Kyuubi' to become a human weapon, they attacked the boy often. Viciously. With everything including a spork, a chipped kitchen sink, and a pair of high heel shoes. Due to the nature of a child's mind, though, he didn't seem to ever remember it happening. Although that could be the memory erasing technique that the Hokage kept asking Yamanaka clan members to use on him for hope that 'the child will live a normal life'. You'd think that after the third time in a week he had to erase a traumatic event, he'd get the hint that he was _not _going to be normal. There were no lasting wounds or scars, mental or physical, however, so he believed in what he was doing.

The boy had, by now, made it to the middle of the festival. He was completely ignorant of how everyone quieted when seeing him, stopping their joyful laughter and playing the games to stare hatefully at him. Finally, one brave (or stupid) villager broke the awkward (to them) silence with a shout of "The demon is here! Now we can finish what the Yondaime started!"

Following traditional mob mentality, 68.2 percent of the villagers nodded in unison (the remaining 31.8 percent being out-cold from drinking), and proceeded to chase the boy, who believed it to be a game. That notion wore off _real _quickly when the pointy objects started to rain down on him as he ran, and kick started his adrenaline. Following the laws of idiotic, bloodthirsty mobs, most of the hail of weapons (and one plastic spork, with _viciously _sharpened tines) had missed, with only one or two grazing their 'prey'.

The prey in question was running as quickly as his three year old legs could carry him, trying to outrun fully grown humans. This, of course, was doomed to fail, and he was caught less than a minute later.

* * *

So here he was, in a burlap sack (cliché, no?) being tugged around what he assumed to be a forest (if the pointy sticks that kept jabbing into him as he was dragged around were any indicator). With a parting shot of 'you should just die out here, demon, and save our village from the disgrace of your blood on our soil', the man left, and Naruto struggled to get out of the sack. Succeeding, due to the drunken craftsmanship on the knot at the top, he looked around where he was left. His mind itched a little, and if he knew what it was, or why it was occurring, he would've called it déjà vu.

He was surrounded by tall trees, the green canopy blocking out most of the light and giving the forest floor a creepy lighting. He started to wander around a little; mostly in child-like wonder and came upon a cave. Not just an ordinary cave, but a cave with a bunch of orbs of 'pretty light' swirling around the entrance of it, that completely mesmerized the child.

The lights were rather soothing, and he fell asleep at the cave mouth after trying unsuccessfully to capture one of those pretty lights. Unknown to him, a single red eye was watching him from inside the cave, wondering why the child's parents hadn't come looking for him. The shadowy figure stepped out, too vague to be described in the twilight gloom, and looked around for a possible search party being formed. After about three hours of absolutely no sign of a search party, it came across the burlap sack, wondering how the hell it missed something like that on it's search. Noticing it had a few blonde strands of hair caught in it, as well as a trail leading back to the nearby village, it, rather wisely, guessed that someone had kidnapped the child and left it out here to die.

Parental instincts going into overdrive, the figure gently scooped up the small child, almost dropping it again when they realized how light it was, far too light to be normal. Lightly checking the baggy orange jumpsuit (and trying hard not to be blinded by the vibrant shade), it was rather astonished. The child should be _dead _from malnutrition by now! And he… was just prancing a few hours ago as if nothing was wrong, trying to catch the 'pretty lights' as he called them! This child was intriguing, indeed…

The figure decided that, since it had absolutely nothing else to do while it was here, it might as well take care of the boy. Who knows? It could just be the action to grant salvation.

* * *

The next day…

Waking up in a cave was a rather strange feeling for the boy. The cold, hard floor sparked something in him, slowly unlocking the hidden memories, but he paid it no attention for the moment. He looked around a bit, expecting to see 'Hokage-jiji', and was rather surprised that he wasn't in his apartment, or a hospital (though he wondered why he would wake up in a hospital), but in a cave. Not the traditional dank, creepy, moldy cave.

This was a cave with _style_; it had cushions for chairs, and a few purple rugs strewn about. There was a bed, neatly made and looking like it had been slept in recently, up against the back wall of the cave. There were even a few transparent stalactites (the ceiling ones. Stalagmites are the ground ones) dripping crystal clear water into bowls perched beneath them.

After looking around a bit, he collapsed again. The locked memories had finally broken free of a few dozen different memory techniques, and flooded his mind in a cacophony of pseudo-sensation.

* * *

At about noontime, Naruto finally awoke, and tried to sort through the new memories he had gained. He was rather surprised, as before he had no recollection of these events and… was that a plastic spork being driven into his eye? How did he have two working eyes now if one was impaled on a spork?

After coming to the conclusion that the memory must have been a dream, the child realized he wasn't alone in the cave. Rather badly done on his part, seeing as how he only realized it when a soft hand was laid on his shoulder. Using instincts he didn't even know he had, he curled up into a fetal position to protect himself. His conscious mind was asking 'from what?', and his subconscious was flipping it off and telling it to shut up, saying it had seniority, and experience.

After a few moments of suspenseful silence, he uncurled gradually, peeking through a gap in his fingers to see who had touched him. It was a rather pretty woman, though she was dressed in outlandish clothing. The first thing that struck him was her eyes, or more specifically, her one eye as her other was covered by her hair. It was a bright red, and the flickers of emotion swimming through it seemed to make her look older than she appeared. Her black hair was tied back in a knot, with four thin braids hanging down her back, and her bangs parted over her exposed right eye, the hair going down to rest against the side of her chin. Her lips had an odd purple shade of lipstick on them, which looked quite natural against her alabaster skin, and fit well with the 'thing' she had going. Her rather pronounced cleavage was barely covered by a fur-trimmed dress, and covered by half a dozen necklaces, ranging from pearls to beads to shiny stones. The dress was a dark gray color, bordering on black, and had intricate patterns embroidered on the wide sleeves and hem. The rest of her dress had the boy staring in shock and awe, wondering how she could stand to put that dress on every day. The front of the dress was rather open, but covered from sight from well over forty different belts, interlocked with each other in a mesh. The woman was also carrying a stuffed doll in one arm, in the resemblance of a knight wearing a pumpkin for a hat. It looked rather cute, and seemed to clash with her 'black' theme, as it was colored in a pale yellow and bright red.

Finally breaking away from her startling appearance, he looked up at her and smiled a little warily, his subconscious taking full control as his conscious kept trying to figure out what was with the wacky memories of… spork torture?

She smiled back at him in a warm gesture, leaning down and patting him on the head like one would a dog, his mind realizing that she had purple fingernail polish too.

The first words out of his mouth were: "Who are you? Are you going to hurt me too?"

Needless to say, the woman backed away as if slapped, her eye wide in startled realization that yes, the child was left out here to die, and it seemed as if more had probably happened to him.

The boy…well… his conscious and subconscious were in Mortal Kombat, his conscious arguing that that was no way to greet someone in a strange area, while his subconscious had the advantage that worse things could be said. His subconscious also had weapons. Clearly someone was going for the kill.

She dropped the doll to the floor, which, if Naruto was paying closer attention, he would've noticed that it landed on its plush feet and stayed up.

The woman slowly walked towards him, not wanting to scare him, and picked him up gently, cradling him in her arms as her 'motherly instincts' kicked in. Regardless of the fact that his eyes were wide in fear, and tears of his impending doom were threatening to spill, it looked like quite the same picture as one would if they had used the puppy-eyes.

His subconscious was winning the war, and his instincts kicked in to stiffen and curl up into as tiny a target as possible.

* * *

After three hours of convincing the boy that she wasn't going to hurt him, she finally introduced herself as Lulu. When Naruto inquired on her odd name, she simply stated that she was foreign. After Naruto had introduced himself, he asked her where he was, and why he was here. She had explained that she lived here, and that the reason to why would be found in that sack he was dragged here in.

He had explained that the villagers of Konoha dislike him for some reason, but his memories were all muddled and he couldn't sort them out correctly. The woman tapped him gently between the eyes and a purple aura flared for a moment before his mind snapped into focus, eyes widening at the realization of what had happened.

"Hokage-ojisan… had someone mess with my memories?"

This also shocked the woman, wondering what the three year old could have experienced that the Hokage would have had his memories locked. She tapped her chin thoughtfully, her magical senses were going haywire for some reason around this boy, and she was determined to find out. Unknown things had a habit of biting Lulu hard in the ass when she didn't investigate them, and she held a deep grudge against all that was unknown to her.

Politely asking the boy if he would mind if she did something to determine something about him (quite vaguely), and getting his confused acceptance (he simply replied: Wha…?), she expanded her consciousness into her magic, letting the purple aura flare into life again as she sought to find out that little unknown thing about the boy. Imagine her surprise when she uncovered that the boy was a Jinchuuriki (Power of the Human Sacrifice, literal human container) to the nine tailed demon fox, Kyuubi.

"Naruto… did you know there was a nine tailed demon fox sealed inside you?"

The boy blinked rapidly at that knowledge, until everything clicked into his mind. He flinched rather violently as he figured it out, dropping to sit on the ground with his head in his knees in despair.

"So that's why the villagers hate me? I'm… Kyuubi?"

Saving the child from his angst (toddler angst is quite lethal in large doses to others, as it is much more concentrated and confused than, say, teen angst, which is mostly drama), she rapped her knuckles on his head to get his attention. She explained, in no uncertain terms, that he was human. The fox was simply placed within a cage created from the boy's soul so that it couldn't destroy anything anymore. The Yondaime had apparently used him as the vessel, probably because of his date of birth.

"Naruto, would you like to meet the fox? That way you could, say, ask him more about your life, as I'm sure he would remember your memories, as the technique used probably didn't affect him."

The small child nodded reluctantly, and Lulu tapped his forehead again, muttering a "**Sleep**" and pulling him into a deep slumber. She spread her consciousness into her magic again, and dove into the boy's mind.

* * *

Inside… a sewer?

Lulu found herself as an occupant within a winding maze of sewers. She noticed the boy was sitting there as if it were an everyday occurrence, making her cringe at the thought of his life. She tapped him on the shoulder to gain his attention, before picking him up. She strode purposefully (read: dramatically letting her dress drag behind her) towards the source of a red glow deep from within the sewers. Upon reaching it, they both realized that the fox was _big_. Really big. Over a hundred feet tall big. They could barely see the tops of the cage bars, but blamed it on insufficient lighting. The bars were held together by a slip of paper with the kanji of 'seal' on it, and the red glow was emanating from behind the bars.

A menacing, echoing, growling… snore? Broke the silence, startling them both. Lulu strode up to the bars and gave one a harsh smack, a loud "BOOM" echoing through the large cavern within the child's mind. She absently noted that this boy's sewer water-mind actually had no smell at all to it. Stepping away from the bars to evade a large claw by several inches, Lulu glared at the two giant, glowing red eyes appearing through the darkness.

A loud yawn resounded, coupled with a slight cough from Lulu, as she tried to make the demon fox focus without having to try to blast it. After the fox was done proclaiming (rather dramatically) that it didn't like to be woken up, Lulu finally snapped and launched a **Thunder **spell at the creature, lighting up the blackness with a bright flash of white light, as well as a resounding 'CRACK' from the spell striking it's target: The Kyuubi. Said spell caused the fur of the great creature to floof up uncontrollably, much to the delight of the small child who raced through the bars and onto the fox's head, with speeds rivaling that of a **Hiraishin no Jutsu (Flying Thunder God Technique)**. Lulu had to hold in a snicker at the sight: A giggling Naruto playing with the fox's fluffy ears, while said fox was just staring at space, shocked that not only had someone not fallen prey to his awesome introduction, but the fact that there was a child. On his head. Playing with his ears and… _'Ooh… that feels good…_ ' Coherent thought immediately became non existent as the child scratched that one special spot that he couldn't ever seem to reach, causing the fox to give a murmur of content, as he was too damn dignified to purr, damnit! Maybe if his belly was rubbed… no! Bad thoughts! No purring!

Lulu finally retrieved the child from Kyuubi's head, much to the disappointment of Naruto, as well as the silent disappointment of the Kyuubi. Finally calming the boy down from whining that he 'liked petting Fluffy's ears', Lulu told him that _this _was the fox sealed in him. Said sentence caused the boy to giggle uncontrollably, before straightening up and putting on a 'Serious' face. This face, while intimidating on most Hyuuga members, was quite adorable on a small child. Except Hanabi. She's the devil. Naruto finally asked the question that had been burning in his mind. No, it's not 'why did you attack'. It was…

"Can I pet your ears some more?"

Lulu's jaw absolutely hit sea level at the question, as did the Kyuubi's. Taking the silence as an acceptance, the child bounded back up the fox's large leg, up across his back, and onto his head where he resumed petting the fuzzy ears.

* * *

Two hours later…

After a proclaimed 'because I felt like it. They were there, I was there, and I felt like fighting, so…yeah' to the question of 'why did you attack the village', Kyuubi finally got to ask his question.

"Brat, why is there a Black Mage in your mind? They were supposedly all dead thousands of years ago with the final one being Lulu, a summoner's guardian."

This caused Naruto to proclaim loudly that this woman's name was Lulu, and caused the fox to look at her as if he was studying her intently. After a few minutes, he asked a question that had her physically take a step back in shock, and Naruto to look on in confusion.

"Your soul couldn't pass on, could it? There's something tying you to the realm of the living."

The woman now had to explain that she was an Unsent soul, one who has ties to the realm of the living, or something they had to do, that they couldn't forget. She retained her humanity and her sanity by secluding herself away from the world, not having to deal with the jealousy of the living one normally gets when their soul still lives without a body. This was met with an unnervingly sympathetic stare from a three year old child, and a demon that seemed to actually be in agreement with its container.

Naruto and the fox finally came to an agreement between each other. He didn't quite forgive the fox for the destruction, but he understood why it attacked, after the fox had said 'Why do villagers attack you?' with a responded 'Because they felt like… oh.'

Truly, human stupidity knows no bounds, as the villagers were just as bad as the Kyuubi in that regard.

Lulu finally picked up the child to leave, after bidding goodbye to the fox. She was debating to herself whether or not to keep the child, before she remembered how he first acted when he met her. That sealed the deal. She was going to raise the boy as her own, and teach him to be a Black Mage like her. Maybe they could make a deal with the Kyuubi to help out…

* * *

Meanwhile, in Konoha…

The Sandaime was having a great day, by his standards. The Festival honoring the day of Kyuubi's defeat had gone off without a hitch, and he didn't have to pay a Yamanaka clan member to erase Naruto's memories again. Speaking of the boy, he hadn't seen him in two days…

He quickly pulled out his nifty crystal ball and started scrying for the whereabouts of the blonde boy, homing in on a tag of chakra left by the Hokage to make sure he knew where the boy was at all times.

What he saw puzzled him. The boy was currently in a cave, and talking animatedly with a pale-skinned, black-haired woman with a red eye… red eye…!

Before his thoughts could continue on the possibility that this woman was the Kyuubi, having been broken out of the seal, the woman looked directly at up, almost as if she could see that the Hokage was watching through a crystal ball. Before he could laugh at that thought, as nobody had ever detected his scrying (his perverse hobby of scrying into the women's bathing area proved that), his ball cracked in a blast of energy, feeling nothing like chakra. It finally shattered, the final image being the woman glaring up at the Sandaime.

The Hokage jumped in shock, as nothing like this had ever happened before. He, luckily, had a second crystal ball just in case situations like these. He shoved the shards of his previous crystal into the trash can, searching for the chakra tag once again. To his dismay, he was unable to find it. He quickly called four ANBU to spread out and search for any trace of the blonde boy, and to bring in that woman for questioning. Of course, the knowledge that they were searching for the 'demon', and the really vague description (as even Yuuhi Kurenai, the genjutsu mistress had black hair and red eyes, as did most of the women in the Uchiha clan, when their Sharingan is active) made them quite… slipshod and sluggish in their search.

After a week of no results, the Sandaime was forced to label the boy as dead, as nothing could be recovered that proved that he was still alive, and if the woman was who he thought she was, then she would have killed him after her freedom was won. This, of course, repealed his law referring to the boy, allowing most of the populace to tell their still impressionable young children tales of the 'demon boy' who used to live in Konoha.

* * *

Back with Naruto and Lulu…

Naruto was puzzled when Lulu seemed to glare at an imaginary foe on the ceiling, before a sound like breaking glass was heard to both of them. She let herself smirk, before tapping Naruto on the forehead and purifying his chakra system, dislodging the remnant of the Hokage's chakra that was acting as a tracer.

Seeing his puzzlement, she elaborated, stating what she had done, why she had done it, and how the Hokage was spying on him. The three year old was quite infuriated with the aged man, refusing to call him 'Hokage-jiji' any longer at the revelation that he had seemingly deemed him a flight risk (for good reason, due to his treatment) and had placed a tag on him without at least asking for his consent.

The boy had agreed to becoming Lulu's apprentice, after she had notified him of the fact that most ninja sensei's would refuse to teach him anything, due to his status in Konoha, and a lot of the other villages were either inhumane in their teaching practices, or turned their ninjas into living weapons. Black Mages, according to Lulu, had to be level headed at all times. Their destructive magic was too powerful for someone to go on a PMS killing spree, as it might level a large area. The boy had thought it over for a bit, and agreed to her terms, and started to change his behavior accordingly.

Lulu had also told him the significance of a weapon. While ninjas used their weapons for attacking, Black Mages used theirs as a channel for their more powerful spells, as well as slight weapons. Most Black Mages, she admitted, were physically weak, preferring to focus on evading and deflecting physical attacks than to deal them. Lulu's weapon, she had told him, was her doll. She showed him how she used it as a conduit for her energy by showing him the **Ultima **spell, making Naruto stare in shock how the doll perfectly mimicked her actions, only to nearly faint when he saw the destruction caused by the spell. He quickly decided he wanted an 'awesome doll' like 'Lulu-oneechan (sister)'.

The Black Mage thought this over for a minute, before a devilish smirk appeared on her face. She relayed her plan to the boy, who gave a great impression of an evil scientist at the idea, and agreed wholeheartedly. They both went back into the boy's seal to discuss it with the fox (read: blackmail and/or coerce it to agree).

* * *

Said fox was absolutely adamant about refusing to be a plush toy, until Naruto brought out the artillery and refused him ear scratching unless he agreed. This caused his stone-cold resolve to falter, as he really liked the scratching… Lulu's comment sealed the deal, saying that the Kyuubi would be Naruto's weapon to attack his enemies, should he so choose. The fox's power would be sealed completely into the plush toy, but kept in control by Naruto himself. She also told him that he'd have a helping hand in the more destructive arsenal of Black Magics, which made him drool at the thought of the environmental devastation caused by the higher spells.

* * *

A complex ritual later and Naruto was the proud owner of a living, breathing, and cuddly stuffed nine tailed fox, about a foot in height, and three in length from muzzle to tailtips.

It was the same coloration of the real Kyuubi, with the identical glowing shade of red for eye color. It would look rather menacing if it wasn't at the beck and call of a three year old…

Lulu started to write down what their training schedule would be, starting with him forgetting everything he ever learned about Chakra, as Mana was different. This caused her to almost fall flat on her face when she remembered that this was a three year old, and had not been to the Ninja Academy.

"Mana," she elaborated, "is the purely spiritual component of Chakra, which is composed of physical and spiritual energies. Chakra is less abundant in nature than Mana, which is why Black Mages use it more. And, as opposed to Chakra, if you use up all your Mana you don't die. To access your Mana, you have to meditate. This means you have to void yourself of emotion, and spread your consciousness to every part of your body to find your Mana source."

The boy was able to do it surprisingly quickly, causing Lulu to get a sadistic gleam in her eye as she thought about how idiotic the ninja village had to be to not realize the boy's potential. Or, they recognized it, and thought it was all the fox's doing. Either way, they tossed pure platinum away from them on a stupid bias.

Lulu quickly started to teach the boy how to control his Mana, starting with the animation of the plush dolls. The Kyuubi was rather peeved by this point, as, not only was he a cuddly plush toy, but he was immobile until the brat learned the basics of being a mage.

This was going to take awhile…

* * *

Two years later…

Naruto had successfully learned how to animate his doll, even improving on it a little. He stashed a bit of his Mana into the doll so that it could move on its own, something Lulu had never tried. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway, as her dolls had no consciousness, while Naruto's was Kyuubi. The fox was able to augment his power using his Youki, which surprised Lulu and made Naruto cackle in delight. The boy was becoming quite interesting, if the fox was being truthful to himself. The unlocked memories had scarred him deeply, causing trust to be a major issue. He would have to think more on this later, as there was a rabbit nearby, and he'd be damned if he didn't tear it limb from limb with his plush fangs!

With a battle roar, that sounded mostly like a yipping of a fox kit, the battle was joined!

* * *

Three years later…

Naruto had begun to learn the basics of Black Magic, intrigued at the thought of controlling four different elements. Lulu, regretfully, admitted that she never learned to manipulate more elements to the extent that she could with Fire, Lightning, Ice, and Water. Back when she was alive, those were considered the main elements, and she had devoted herself to studying them. Nowadays, things were done with Water, Earth, Air, Fire, and Lightning. Ice was completely forgotten.

Naruto decided to try something new, and threw himself into learning the five normal elements, stating that since he lived in this time, that he should at least try to conform to its ways. After a bit of mental prodding, Lulu was able to remember that, way back when she was still alive and not a hermit, there were one or two spells concerning Earth and Air, and that it shouldn't be hard to learn the entire element if he started from scratch, as opposed to if he had learned it her way and tried to learn the new elements.

With that decided, the boy trained in the five ninja elements, while learning the theory for Ice alongside them, to create it his way when he was finished with the standard five.

Kyuubi was, oddly, learning to have respect for the brat. He had an indomitable will of iron, and was reworking the foundations of ancient Black Magic using logic and determination. He was almost proud of him, though he quickly shoved that thought out of his stuffed mind while he hunted down a new rabbit warren that hadn't learned about his mighty presence yet.

* * *

Four years later…

Naruto, now age twelve, had completely mastered the 'new basics', as he called them. He had the first tier and second tier of elemental spells down, and was working on the third. He had also mastered the few supplementary spells that Lulu knew, including **Bio**,** Drain**,** Aspir**,** Toad**, and** Sleep**.

The spirit had chuckled behind her hand when she saw that Naruto had taken **Toad **to a new level, turning rabbits into frogs to confuse his doll about the recent surge in frogs, and the decline in rabbits. The poor fox-doll had moped for hours until the spell wore off, ears laid back against his head, and his big, menacing red eyes brimming with tears of sadness.

Naruto and Kyuubi had started to get along quite well, and the fox had succeeded in corrupting the poor boy into learning his love of fighting, as well as a sadistic streak to rival Mitarashi Anko's. Lulu almost shuddered to think of what would happen if he learned **Break**.

After applying extreme amounts of pure, pre-teen logic, as well as curiosity, he had finally come to the conclusion that had shocked Lulu that it hadn't been thought of before. His question?

"What are spells exactly? I know they're Mana constructs to manipulate the elements, but is that all they are? Just patterns of weaving Mana into controlling elements?"

After applying some deep thought to this, she nodded, which caused the boy to give her a rather evil smirk.

"Then isn't it possible that there are limitless Spells out there to learn and create? All one has to do is practice weaving their Mana in a set way until it becomes instinctual when paired with the spoken word, and there you go. A new spell."

Lulu couldn't have been more proud of her student at that moment. He had successfully broken down the entirety of Black Magic to its core, and found out its secret. She hadn't even thought to try that before. At notifying her apprentice of this, his lips had twitched into a true, happy smile that he had made his neechan proud of him.

Apparently his mental scarring had been a bit worse than either Kyuubi or Lulu had thought, as the boy had quickly dropped most emotions after beginning his training. He hardly ever showed the slightest bit of anything, except to Lulu and sometimes to Kyuubi. While walking around alone (seemingly. Lulu tended to get overprotective of him and followed him when he walked off alone. She denied any knowledge to why she did it when questioned by Kyuubi, though) he was just as cold as ever. Normally even Lulu would smile to herself as she reminisced about the times when she was alive, but Naruto… hardly ever expressed himself in a true emotion. Sadism and mischief didn't count.

* * *

Two and a half years later…

Naruto had decided he was going to stick it to Konoha. Painfully. With a spork.

He was going to go back for the Genin exam after he was done training, and be a Konoha ninja. He was going to screw with them from the inside, under the protection of the Hokage who wouldn't do shit to him, afraid of harming his successor's legacy.

Oh yes, Naruto knew who his parents were now. After speaking with the Kyuubi on the subject, who had said that 'since you never asked, I thought you didn't care', he had learned he was born to Uzumaki Kushina, and Namikaze Minato, the fourth Hokage. The same prick who sealed his fate at birth had also been his father. Wow.

Naruto had learned that day that there was yet another thing to make fun of Konoha for. They threw away their beloved Yondaime's child, believing they were doing the Yondaime a favor by 'getting rid of the demon'. He laughed hollowly at that, wondering how stupid they could be to not realize the resemblance. Granted, they probably couldn't see it now, as he had changed a bit, but more on that later.

His training with Lulu had gone splendidly. He was now able to pair up with Kyuubi to cast the more powerful magic, and the fox was ecstatic. He likened the feeling of **Ultima **being channeled through him as 'an orgasm of the highest proportions, surpassing the feeling of destroying a village', causing Lulu to stare at her Onion Knight doll in intense suspicion.

He had mastered Lulu's entire spell repertoire, including the powerful Flare spell. He was considered her equal in all things pertaining to Black Magic, but the boy was still her junior in years. She had died at the age of 22, so she was still older than him, damnit!

Recently, the woman had been having strange feelings of faintness and a sense of fading. When she asked the doll about this, it had replied that she was completing whatever she had to do that was needed for her to pass on. They had kept this a secret from Naruto, however, not wanting to worry him.

The boy had grown into a rather attractive young man, not that Lulu would ever admit it. To her, he'd always be the little blonde boy she took in from a burlap sack. She gave him a book written by one of her former comrades, called 'Fanpeople and How to Escape Them' by Tidus. The boy raised a blonde eyebrow at the book, before Lulu and Kyuubi broke down and had to teach him about the Birds and the Bees.

He was about 5'11" tall, only a bit taller than Lulu. He had, in forsaking against his heritage, grown his spiky hair out long, which caused it to straighten the longer it got. It fell flat against his head, making him look a bit more mature than his age, and almost of noble descent. His golden locks ended at his knees, and were usually tied in a high ponytail. When questioned on the length of his hair and how impractical it might be, he replied (with a snicker), that he had created a spell to make his hair poisonous to the touch, slowly petrifying whoever was holding him by it. He also had said that, at knee length, it was finally long enough that it didn't resemble the spikes at all. The only telltale signs of his heritage were his blue eyes and golden hair color. After speaking with the Kyuubi on the subject of how to change one or the other, the fox had said that he could infuse youki into the teen's eyes to change their color, but couldn't do anything about the hair.

Agreeing to it, the fox had permanently combined a bit of his youki into Naruto's eyes, forever changing the color to an amethyst purple. Lulu thought it was pretty, and Naruto simply groaned in response. He was happy they weren't blue, though.

His body type was thin, but not heavily so. He was, as Lulu bluntly put it, 'built like willow branch'. His body would look fine on an acrobat, as Lulu had taught him her evasive tactics, forcing the boy to be able to react at an instant and bend to nearly Orochimaru's angles to avoid blows. Black Mages were nearly never physical, so his body didn't have a ninja's tone, but it was good enough for traveling long distances without getting tired. He had even taught himself how to run across the tree tops like the Konoha ninjas do.

On the boy's attire, Kyuubi had (jokingly) suggested he dress like Lulu. When the senior Black Mage had asked what he meant like that, he had replied (with a shrug of squishy-soft shoulders), that she dressed like a high class 'courtesan' and that it was distracting during a fight.

After sewing Kyuubi back together after the 'crazy bitch fried my stuffing for telling the truth', Naruto decided to not go with the belt-dress. He didn't think it'd look right on him anyway.

Instead, he was clothed in black shinobi-style pants, riding a bit low on his hips. The pants themselves were slightly baggy, and were bandaged just above the ankle so it didn't impede movement. His shirt, he decided, he'd take a note from Lulu's dress attire, much to Kyuubi's chagrin. It was a normal black long sleeve shirt, with wide sleeves in the traditional Mage style, allowing one to hide their hands, as well as 'makes it look cool when you cast spells' Lulu had said. The shirt itself ended just above his stomach, showing off his abdominal structure. The outfit looked rather interesting on the teen, as one could consider him a pretty, flat chested woman. However, when Kyuubi had brought this up, he spent the rest of the afternoon dodging high powered spells.

The whisker marks were gone from the ritual of transferring the Kyuubi into a plush toy, much to Naruto's glee. Now he could correctly infiltrate Konoha society… unless the Sandaime undid the law concerning his Jinchuuriki status. Then…well… more chaos for him. Woo! His facial structure had changed a little, after he had convinced (read: threatened to stop the ear scratching) Kyuubi to use youki to reconstruct his cheekbones to further distance himself from his parents. He truly could pass off as a noble, as he seemed to exude an air of dignity, grace, and indifference. If not for his clothing, he could pass as a blonde haired, amethyst eyed Hyuuga.

Much to the boy's chagrin, though, his golden skin tone was natural, and not even youki could change that.

* * *

One month later…

There were five months before Naruto had to go back to Konoha to do the Genin test, and Lulu had asked him to talk with her for a bit, saying it was important. After arriving at the cave in which they both dwelled in for the past eleven and a half years, he realized it must be really serious.

"You needed to speak with me about something?"

The woman looked up at him and smiled kindly, wrapping both arms around his chest and hugging him tightly to her. Something felt really off about this situation… Lulu wasn't normally one to enjoy physical contact, she looked like she was about to cry, and her body seemed… insubstantial. Quickly connecting all the dots, he looked up, eyes wide in disbelief.

"You're fading to the afterlife?"

The woman nodded sadly, still holding him as tight as she could, a few tears escaping her uncovered eye.

"I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad. I'm finally going to leave the mortal plane and go to where I belong… but… I'm going to miss you, Naruto. I finally realized what was keeping me here. I had never had a child I could call my own, and had always wanted to raise one. You had fulfilled that spot in my life, and now since you've grown old enough to take care of yourself, my life is finally complete. By tomorrow I'll be completely gone, so I wanted to spend this day with you before I left."

Naruto let a tear escape from his eye for the first time in over a decade, and hugged the woman tightly to him; afraid that the moment he lets go she would disappear forever.

"I'll miss you too… Lulu-okaasan… you're the best older-sister/parent I could have ever dreamed of, and took me in when nobody else wanted me. I will forever be grateful to you."

Lulu looked up, a little bit shocked at her new title, even if it was only temporary. She stood on the tips of her feet and gave him a kiss on the forehead, like she used to do way back when he was still a child.

"You're all I ever wanted in a son. Please promise me that you'll take care of yourself. I'm not going to make you promise to pass on the art of Black Magic, as I know you'll do what you believe is right. I trust in your decisions."

The rest of the day was spent reminiscing over all the time they had spent together. Finally around three in the morning, she started to shimmer and fade. Her final words before she disappeared were 'I love you, Naruto. I'll always be there for you, if only in memory.'

Naruto grabbed the Kyuubi doll and hugged the fox to him, taking solace in his last friend. The fox was silently mourning for the passing of the woman as well, as she had become a greatly respected individual in the fox's eyes. The woman could deal out incredible destruction one moment, and be as gentle as a spring breeze the next. Truly a wonderful individual.

* * *

The next day…

Naruto sealed up the entire area, preventing any trespassing individuals from desecrating the resting place of Lulu. He had used up most of his power to create a gleaming ice sculpture that would be forever frozen, in the exact likeness of Lulu, holding her Onion Knight doll in one arm. She was backed by all the likenesses of her friends from back when she was alive. In a plaque at the bottom, the words of 'To Lulu, the last Black Mage, a powerful summoner guardian, and a true mother' were burned into the ice with softly glowing purple flames in the shade of her lipstick.

After resting from the creation of an everlasting ice sculpture, complete with inscription that would forever burn, Naruto stood up and picked Kyuubi up from the ground, cradling him in his arm as Lulu had taught him. At the fox's puzzled stare, the boy replied 'we're going to travel for the next four months and see Fire Country outside of this cave'.

And for the next four months, the Sandaime was haunted by the reports of a tall, blonde haired teenager, carrying a stuffed nine tailed fox plush toy from all over Fire Country.

* * *

Four months later…

Naruto, now fifteen as his birthday had just passed, was currently standing outside the gates of Konoha. He was waiting for the damn gate guard to realize someone was there and open the gate.

After several minutes of waiting, he finally gave up and set the Kyuubi toy down. Naruto gave a sadistic smirk as Kyuubi sprinted as fast as his little feet could carry him towards the gates…

* * *

A passing traveler would later recount to his friends in a bar about a 'blonde guy who's fox plush broke down Konoha's gates. No, I wasn't drunk.'

* * *

After sufficiently 'knocking', Naruto gathered the doll in his arm. He could swear he could hear a muttered 'damn right it didn't stand up to me. I'm the fuckin' Kyuubi no fuckin' Kitsune.'

A swarm of ANBU surrounded him, as if preparing for an attack. The teen merely looked up, pulled a mock-innocent face and declared:

"What? Nobody was paying attention to open the gate for me, so I let myself in."

Most of the ANBU guards fell flat on their faces at the revelation, turning as one to glare at the gate guard who had broken out of his sleep to stare in awe at the thirty foot tall gates that were currently lying on the ground.

As they turned back to the blonde man, they realized he was gone, with not even a footprint to denote he was ever there. The Captain quickly used **Shunshin (Body Flicker) **to head to the Hokage's office to announce the possible intruder.

* * *

At the Hokage's Office…

Naruto was currently sitting in the lobby, waiting for an opening in the aged man's schedule to open up. The secretary stared to glare at his fox toy, asking (quite rudely) how he dare bring in something like that into wonderful Konoha. He simply looked at her, looked at the toy, blinked a little, looked back up at her and replied in a polite yet mocking tone:

"You're a _really_ stupid woman if you want to take your anger out on a toy, even if it does resemble a demon fox. Wow. Give yourself a pat on the back, for I'm sure your mind must truly believe that the stuffing used to create this doll is made out of 99 percent evil and 1 percent demon. I hope you're proud of yourself for turning your blind hatred onto inanimate objects."

The woman was quite shocked at how this attractive blonde man could tell her politely that she was stupid, and get away with it. She was resisting the urge to call him –sama, as it was!

Before she could drum up her courage to reply, he walked past her, saying he was sure that he would get more done if he simply asked the Hokage directly if he had any openings. If his secretary was ignorant enough to take hatred out on inanimate objects, then could she be trusted to do her job correctly?

After nodding to the two ANBU guarding the door, he knocked on the door. Hearing a muffled 'Enter', he stepped inside.

* * *

As soon as he entered, some man was pointing at him and loudly yelling that he broke down the gates. He looked at the man, blinked, then looked down at his toy, who he could swear started to fidget as if holding in laughter. He finally looked back up at the Hokage, who was staring at him in heavy suspicion, and said the same thing he had said to the ANBU.

"Your person at the gate was doing his job inadequately and was too busy snoring to open the gate for me, so I let myself in. If I was truly an enemy, I would've killed him on my way in, now wouldn't I?"

He looked over to the man who was now sputtering in disbelief at the blonde teen's audacity. His glittering eyes hardened into a glare, completely outclassing that of a Hyuuga or an Uchiha as he spoke to the man.

"If you can't do your job and figure out who is an enemy and who is not, then quit now before you cause unnecessary deaths. I have something to speak with the Hokage about, and you're currently making a complete ass out of yourself. Kindly remove yourself from the premises, or I shall help you in that regard."

The ANBU stared a bit in disbelief, before pulling himself up to his full height of about 5'8", trying to be as intimidating as possible. His mouth twisted in a sneer, and his voice took on a haughty tone as he spoke down to this _civilian _who dare try to threaten him, an ANBU captain.

"What right do you think you have to order _me _around?"

He could swear even the man's fox toy was smirking at him at this, and he didn't have much time to think on the possibility of an inanimate object having facial muscles before he was dislodged from the room forcefully via the open window.

Naruto had given him a quick snap kick to the stomach, augmented by a little of his magic to increase the force. The man was sent flying over thirty feet before hitting the side of a building, immediately knocked out. He turned back to the Hokage who was about to push his "Call the ANBU" button when the teen spoke, shutting the door behind him and closing the window.

"Before you even try to call more ANBU on me, I have done nothing wrong. He asked me what right I have, and I showed him. I have the right of diplomatic immunity due to not being a citizen of Konoha while I am here. As I am not under any of your laws, and he was threatening my authority, I dispatched him in the way I felt befitted him. He really should learn to do his job correctly, though. I came here to apply for the Genin exam, as I have been traveling for the past twelve years."

The Hokage was shocked, as he had to admit, the teen had him in a political loophole. Although… the way he rattled off his speech… reminded him too much of Itachi. As soon as he caught sight of the fox doll in the man's arm, he realized that this was the man who he'd been trying to track down for some time, and quickly put a silencing jutsu on the room.

He put an edge of authority on his voice as he spoke, as if daring the man to deny his demands.

"I need your name, as well as age, and I need you to accompany me to the Council Room to have them discuss whether or not you can join the Academy for the exams."

The man's lips twitched a little, before settling back into the emotionless line. His eyes, however, were absolutely glittering in sadistic amusement.

"My name… is Naruto. Age fifteen."

The Hokage's jaw dropped, pipe clattering to the floor. He looked at the boy, took in his golden skin, flaxen hair, and the Kyuubi doll in his arms, and nearly gasped. There was no way this was the same Naruto that had disappeared twelve years ago. Naruto had whisker-marks, blue eyes, and didn't know of the fox. And his facial structure didn't match. His mind was troubled, though, at the resemblance, so he chose to ask.

"Any surname?"

Naruto debated it a little, before picking up his fox toy and asking it a question out loud, causing the Hokage to doubt his sanity.

"What do you think? Should I tell him?"

The Hokage immediately went for the ANBU button when the doll _responded_.

"Eh, sure. It'll be a kick in the pants to him."

Before he could press the button and call in the ANBU to interrogate the teen who had a talking doll, a polite cough caught his attention. Both the doll and the young man were glaring at him.

"My original name was Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto. I gave up my surname years ago when this village abandoned me. As I was announced dead, there isn't shit you can do about it, Hokage-san. I am currently not a citizen, due to my status of 'death'. By the way, you may want to tell the Yamanakas to work on their memory jutsu, since the one they kept using on me, _at your order_, only locked the memories. It didn't erase anything."

Sarutobi stared at the young man before him, before his eyes caught onto the fox plush currently standing on the blonde's shoulder, and glared heatedly at it.

Naruto caught this, and glared right back, a violet aura flaring for a moment and blasting everything away from him, causing paperwork to whirl, staplers and pens to embed into the walls, and the Hokage to apply chakra to his feet to stand still.

"Before you even dare to say anything about the doll, he has actually been more a friend to me than anyone in Konoha. I earned his respect through my hard work, and if you cannot see past the fact that he's a demon, then I'll simply go to Kumo or Iwa. I'm _positive _they'd simply adore having someone like me there."

At this, the Hokage's ears perked up a bit. He gave one more halfhearted glare at the fox toy, who smirked smugly back at him, before sighing in resignation. He really did need that boy, damnit. It was the only remnant of his successor he had left. His mind finally wrapped around the last part of the blonde's statement, and he quirked an eyebrow.

"What do you mean 'someone like you'? Aside from the Jinchuuriki status, I don't believe there was anything too different about you."

Naruto simply smirked, his eyes flashing in amusement.

"I guess you could say I have a bloodline. And it's all me, the Kyuubi has been in that doll for the past twelve years, so he has nothing to do with it. I am highly proficient in using elemental techniques without handseals, and can do some techniques in tandem with my doll to cause large environmental destruction."

The Hokage was quite shocked at this, and thought about it a little. There was no record of a bloodline like that, ever. Perhaps becoming a Jinchuuriki had changed parts of his DNA and created it? The fox did like widespread destruction…

"Very well. I'll allow you to take the Genin test tomorrow. Will you accompany me to the council room?"

The teen nodded, the fox toy hopping up into his arms and laying motionless, as if it really was inanimate. The Hokage grabbed onto his shoulder, feeling quite regretful that this had happened to his successor's son, and used **Shunshin **to get to the council room.

* * *

In the Council Room…

The Hokage and Naruto appeared into the room with a standard puff of black smoke. The Council stared in astonishment at the teen's clothing, before they all noticed the fox doll and glared as one at it.

Naruto, noticing their enmity, had a sudden urge to be chaotic. He raised his arm above his head and sliced diagonally to the lower right, a single clear word escaping his lips.

"**Waterja**."

A veritable tsunami spawned out of thin air and charged the Council, doing not much more than simply drenching them. They stared at the boy, who they had pushed off to the side in their heads as not a threat, and had instead focused on the doll entirely.

The Hokage was shocked, but quickly regained composure and addressed the soaked council.

"We are gathered here to assess the possibility of this young man here becoming a Konoha shinobi. As you can see, he has a bloodline ability that allows him to use elemental manipulation abilities without hand seals."

The entire council perked up at this, before the man stepped forward, the nine tailed fox doll on his shoulder and glared at them.

"I will say this right now. I will not be a breeding stock for you, or anyone else. If you try to control me in any way, I will not only destroy the attempt, but the one who ordered it, as well as a large section of residential area of where they reside. This is not a threat, this is a promise, as I will not tolerate being simply brown nosed by bloodline-lovers. I refuse to have a harem to create super soldiers for you, and you can take your Clan Restoration Act and shove it. If you have any objections, direct them to my doll while I prepare something of a lightning variety to _eternally _silence you."

The Hokage gaped at the boy who had just openly threatened the Council, who were all fuming at the audacity of this _commoner _to dare address the _Honored Council _in such a way, and even threaten them! Before they could protest, though, he had said something else which made them realize what a sensitive state they were in.

"You are currently all soaking wet. If I so choose, even a slight shock could cause a heart to stop. Like I said, I refuse to be your puppet, your experiment, or your breeding stock. I would simply be an employee, not a slave."

The Hokage nodded a little at the analogy, and the Council realized that this man had them by the balls. Danzo, being the ever-loving bastard he is, decided to open his mouth.

"Surely we could make some sort of a deal to integrate your bloodline into Konoha?"

At this, the doll moved. The fact that the doll moved shocked everyone, as it stood in front of Naruto with its teeth bared and tails flicking from side to side in a hypnotic pattern. The man uttered a single word before the room descended into chaos.

"**Flare**."

A swirl of orange flame spiraled down under Danzo's feet before exploding into a pillar of white-hot flame, completely incinerating the man, yet doing no damage to anyone nearby.

Sarutobi was shocked at the brutality, realizing that he really didn't know anything about _this _Naruto. It was foolish for him to believe that the boy could disappear for twelve years and come back the same he left, sans the burlap bag.

The Hokage finally had to pound on a desk and yell to restore silence, and the entire Council started shouting for the death of the man who killed Danzo. But mostly, they wanted to kill him for having an animated Kyuubi doll.

Having enough of it, the teen started to leave. The most arrogant of the council, mainly the civilian side, asked where he was going.

"I am leaving to somewhere I am wanted as a person, not as a tool. I'll leave to go to Kumo, Iwa, or Suna so that I don't have to put up with this."

This caused the council, to, predictably, fall down at his feet, wanting such a great bloodline. They offered everything they had; namely wealth, women and popularity.

Naruto gave them the most chilling glare he could come up with and shut them all up.

"You only want me for my bloodline. You people make me sick at how you raise all those with bloodlines onto a pedestal, pandering to their every whim. I've made a decision, however. I'll become a shinobi for this village, if only to spite all of you. I'll work directly under the Hokage, meaning you can't sink your claws into me. You people are worse than the Kyuubi ever was. At least he probably had a good reason, whereas you all are so pompous and idiotic that you believe you can control everything. Now that I think about it, he had a damn good idea trying to destroy this village. Hokage-san, I'll be going to the academy tomorrow to take the Genin exam. Any and all attempts to blackmail, convince, or coerce me into assisting the council will be met with lethal force. If you have a problem with that, I'll leave and never return."

The golden haired teen picked up Kyuubi, who was actually rolling on the floor in hysterics at this point and disappeared in a swirl of water, the ground not even wet where he once stood.

The Hokage looked up at the shocked council members, his two teammates grinning conspiratorially, as if they could somehow get the boy on their side.

"I hope you all are proud of what you have done. That boy probably has more power than even I do, and any attempts to gain his favor will now be met with death. He could possibly destroy the village should he have a mind to, so I suggest you all leave him alone."

Most weren't listening, however, and were plotting how to get their daughters to seduce the man…

The Hokage sighed and left, realizing just why Naruto had changed so much. Human stupidity really does know no bounds.

* * *

Author's Note: Plotbunnies away! Definitely had a fixation on sporks when writing this... I think... Anyway. No pairing for Naruto, as he's too focused for love.

Reviews would be helpful, as I'm not sure if I should continue writing this plot bunny out. If I do, then I will be writing both this and my other story in tandem, not showing preferential treatment to one over the other. I _will _finish my stories, damnit. I refuse to be one of those people who you go 'Damn, that was a good story. Too bad they never completed it.'


	2. Genin Exams

Author's Note: Wrote this after I had issues sleeping. I think I have fanfiction related insomnia, where if I get inspiration for something, I have to write it or else I can't sleep well. Anyways, it's a little rushed, but I wanted to get through Konoha as fast as possible. Note that, after he disappeared at age 3, all the ninja families (yes. All of them) started to tell the story of the 'demon boy' who was 'Kyuubi reincarnated', so yes. Even Hinata doesn't like him. Because I'm evil and I made Hinata hate Naruto. Bwahaha.

...wow. Tons of reviews! Now to answer them.

Most people telling me about pairings, as there are too many to list:

After heavy debate with my inner muse, there shall be no pairing. None. He's A) too antisocial for it, and B) he has a hate-hate relationship with Konoha, so nobody from Konoha will be paired with him, but I did decide something. You'll have to read the next chapter to find out what it is.

**Atrumfides**: While I do agree that Tenten has the awesome pointy objects of doom, I have decided on having no pairing. The cave was actually the Cave of the Forgotten Fayth, as it held great sentiment to Lulu when she was alive. Of course, after thousands of years, the continents shifted naturally, so it was moved...a lot... and the scenery changed, but it was still the cave to her, and she felt tied to it. Thank you for actually putting thought into your review, though, as it was better than the swarm of 'no yaoi plx' reviews I got. Damn, they multiply quicker than plot bunnies! Anyway, I hope you enjoy my story just the same, even if it does have no pairing.

**Sleeping Life**: He'll show his new spells whenever the situation calls for them. Mainly, he'll stick to standard Black Magic, as it's easier to cast, due to having practiced repeatedly with it. His newer spells, like one that is shown in this chapter, take a bit more concentration to pull off the correct Mana construct, so he practices them in private, but doesn't usually use them unless the situation calls for it. He's able to mainly mesh one or two effects together, creating, say, a petrification poison, or turning someone into a frog statue. He will learn how to combine elements together, as well as elements and status effects, later on.

**KunoichiDreamer**: Why thank you!

**Vilkath**: Thank you for your opinion, and it helped me choose my decision. You made a great point, as I realized that yes, a lot of fics with pairings become focused on the romance, and I hope that my other fic doesn't end up like that. I'll try my hardest with it, but for this one I'll keep it pairing-less. I do agree with you, though, on the fact that having Naruto with magic is quite uncommon. Usually it's just some Harry Potter crossover where he goes to defend Harry and learns that 'Chakra works with wands!' or something. I hope you enjoy the story as it's created, and I thank you for steering me back to the light. However, Naruto will keep his outfit, because I think it's considerably mage-y, regardless of being slightly revealing, and it helps distract people in combat. Bwahaha.

**Bound in Twilight**: Fear the paws of cuddly destruction! While I won't have a pairing, maybe he and Naruto could be friends/demolitionists-in-arms together?

**Forgottem memories**: I thank you for putting some thought into your review, and I agree. After thinking the plot bunny through, I realized that yes, he's a little too focused on his training to actively pursue love. I hope you continue to enjoy the fic!

**DarkFire Ruby**: Ohh, he will. I can't wait for him to meet Sasori and Deidara, as that will be a very special meeting indeed. Kukuku...

**Darksnider05**: I'll think about it, but he's only fifteen. Kinda hard to have an apprentice when you yourself just came out of apprenticeship. Literally everyone in Konoha is either walking on eggshells around him, or completely hates him, so nobody would be chosen out of that. From the nature of Mana in general, which I discussed in the Prologue, it would be really really hard to teach anyone who knows anything about Chakra how to use Mana. Separating the two would be quite hard.

**actionliker**: You wouldn't be saying that if it raped _your _mind. Regardless, I think this plot bunny has potential.

**Sharkteeth**: Thank you.

**Dark Tempar Master**: I totally agree with you. I read whatever, and have no biases on whether it's yaoi or het, but... those stories where Naruto kicks ass until he gets into a relationship and all of a sudden becomes some sort of housewife make me cringe. Het stories where he gets paired with anything that moves and is of the female persuasion are arguably just as bad. I mean seriously, all of a sudden Tsunade is getting hot over a fifteen year old? Ew. She has big boobs, yes, but it's a goddamn Genjutsu. Or worse, having every female in the Konoha 11, as well as most female Jounin? How the hell do you have a relationship like that? I can understand if it was just sex but they try to create some sort of mega-harem and make it work... it's hard enough with three people in the same relationship, four is pushing it way too hard, and anything higher is ludicrous.

**ThePageMaster1530**: I swear you broke some sort of law by how long that rant was. I do _not_ have an inner yaoi fangirl. I'm happily gay, thank you, though I have no qualms about reading or writing het fics. Simple enough: I have no bias on that. And... hermaphrodite Naruto characters? That's just kinda pushing it. Almost as creepy (to me) as Orochi's tongue fetish. Plus it would require some damn good writing to make it work... and there's no way I'm good enough to do that.

On with the fic!

"Talking"

"_Thinking"_

"**Spell/Jutsu"**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Lulu, or the concept of battle dolls, though they are awesome and I want one. I also do not own Final Fantasy X.

* * *

Genin Exams

Naruto snapped awake quickly in his new apartment, a present from the Sandaime since his old one was burned… multiple times… in celebration. One of his most annoying quirks, according to Kyuubi, was his light sleeping habit coupled with intense paranoia if he wasn't back at the cave, and after exactly seven hours, fifty eight minutes, and fifty three seconds (Kyuubi had a timer on hand to study him), he would awaken instantly, with no signs of him ever being asleep in the first place. It was a pain in the ass for the poor fox plush, as he loved to take naps and sleep in regularly. Of course, he wouldn't dare say anything; for fear that his wonderful ear scratching would be taken away.

After taking a quick, ice cold shower, and putting on an identical outfit to the one he wore the day before, Naruto picked up his Kyuubi doll and headed out of the apartment, his wet hair pulled back in its standard high ponytail. It couldn't have been later than 7:30 in the morning, so most of the village wasn't awake yet, aside from parents of ninja getting their children ready for school. Naruto nearly snorted at the thought.

'_Getting ready for school? They're supposed to be trained killers, and their parents just ask "What would you like for lunch?" Not offering psychiatric help, should they perhaps show a personality disorder. They must imagine that it's just a quirk, like the Jounins tend to have. They must be _so _proud.'_

The doll, as if sensing his bitterness, seemed to cuddle up into his arms, causing Naruto's attention to divert to scratching the doll behind the ears.

He continued to walk down the winding streets on his way to the Academy, completely ignoring the odd stares at his attire, or the hate-filled glares at his doll. The Kyuubi, though, was seeing all of it, and decided to speak up to alert Naruto of this.

"Brat… people are glaring at me again. I think my attack must have created a sixth sense to anything related to foxes, as they don't even seem to realize your existence, just that there's a Kyuubi doll, and it's in Konoha, so it must be destroyed!"

Naruto, hearing the soft mumble of his doll, stopped in the middle of the street and looked around. Sure enough, dozens of villagers were glaring at the doll and a few were picking up weapons. The teen sighed, and set the doll on his shoulder before mumbling loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Idiots can't seem to tell a one foot tall doll from a one hundred foot tall fox. No wonder their village was attacked. If it weren't for the Yondaime, the entire village would've been dead before they had the sense to investigate the lumbering behemoth bearing down on them."

Quite a few villagers, upon hearing this, became enraged and approached the boy, their mouths twisted into hateful sneers.

"Who are you and why did you bring that… _thing_… into our village?"

Seeing yet another opportunity to cause discord, Naruto let a malicious chuckle escape his lips, the likes of which Orochimaru could only hope to compare to.

"Oh. You don't remember me? I'm absolutely devastated. I'm that 'demon brat' you threw out twelve years ago. Spread the word, I'm sure your Council has figured it out by now. And if you mess with my doll again, you won't live to regret it."

With that said, he brushed past the growing angry mob, still conversing quietly to his doll, who was giggling quite cutely for an immortal fox spirit trapped within a plush toy.

"Makes me wonder why that man decided to sacrifice two lives to this hell hole. Ah well. The past is the past, and there's nothing I can do to change it. At least I was able to meet Lulu-neechan from the outcome of their stupidity."

The fox doll nodded emphatically before stiffening, acting as if it were inanimate again so as not to arouse suspicion. By this time he had made it to the Academy, and he entered it with a slight hint of caution. Walking up to the receptionist, he told her he was here to take the exams. He briefly considered turning her into a statue and causing her to be frozen with that ugly snarl on her face for eternity when she saw his doll, before throwing that thought aside. The Sandaime may get upset if too many of his populace became full size lawn ornaments.

The woman finally broke out of her staring contest with the (supposedly) inanimate object, and broke out in a 'charming' grin, pointing him off to room 103 to join Iruka's class. As he walked off, a mumble was clearly heard by the receptionist, along with a rather convincing high pitched whine imitating her speech. The woman sputtered in indignation at how the boy portrayed her, but if she wasn't being completely ignorant, she would've realized he had her spot on.

"Everyone in Konoha must be bipolar when it comes to foxes… they're all 'Oh it's so nice to see you! Is that a Kyuubi doll? What is _that _doing here? Are you going to destroy it? Oh, you're walking away? Well, it was nice to meet you, person that I don't know, but DON'T BRING THAT CURSED DEMON TRASH BACK HERE AGAIN!'"

* * *

In room 103…

Iruka was currently trying to silence his class, but failing quite miserably. It was the Genin Exams today, and so the entire class was giddy with delight. Except Sasuke. He was brooding about how Itachi graduated earlier.

He was about to utilize his own secret technique to silence them all when the door opened, causing everyone to snap their gazes to the intruder and quiet immediately. The young man (if the flat chest was any indicator) was quite attractive, though his clothing was a bit off. And… was that a Kyuubi doll on his shoulder?

Instantaneous eruption of killing intent from the entire class, sans Sasuke, who was too busy in his own little world to take notice of the newcomer.

Sensing the enmity, Naruto strode elegantly up to the desk, and tapped on it to get the teacher's attention off of his doll.

"I'm here to take the Genin Exams? Hokage-san said he'd see if he could make an exception for me, since I was gone for the last twelve years."

One Inuzuka Kiba decided this moment to yell, quite loudly.

"What?! No way are you allowed to take the Exams! You weren't ever in the class to begin with!"

The teen picked up a paperclip off the teacher's desk, contemplated it for a moment, before flicking it over his shoulder and nailing the boy right in between the eyes.

"You should learn to be silent when someone is speaking with your teacher."

The class broke out into hushed (to them) mutterings about the newcomer. He was steadily building a fanclub, if the quiet (to them) squeals were to be considered. He thanked Lulu profusely in his head for giving him that book, as he hadn't been caught by fanpeople since then.

Iruka, after sorting through all the papers on his desk, finally found the note that the Hokage had left him, saw the name of the person he was supposed to allow to take the test, and gasped in shock.

Naruto, seeing this, almost snickered. His doll was twitching in anticipation of the absolute disorder his name would cause.

Iruka finally regained his composure, and, using his teacher authoritative tone, politely asked him to introduce himself to the class, ensuring that he was going to be taking the exam. This was met with loud yelling of disbelief of a lot of the class, until Iruka silenced them, saying that he had a note from the Hokage.

"My name is Naruto. I have forsaken my surname for reasons I'd rather not tell you. My likes…? Eh. I like to be left alone, and I like my doll. Dislikes…? Biases, arrogance, and stupidity. Hobbies? Fighting, and training. Dreams for the future…? I have no dreams."

The entire class stiffened at his name, before turning their heated glares on him instead of the doll, making the obvious connection between the doll and the golden haired teen from the stories their parents had told them about the monster child that had been killed twelve years ago. Perhaps he was back from the dead to gain revenge? That thought caused quite a few to recoil in fear.

Naruto… was stifling a yawn. His doll was shaking imperceptibly, trying hard not to break down laughing. He pulled it off his shoulder and cradled it in one arm, allowing it to muffle its snickering in the fabric of his sleeve. He glided back to an unoccupied chair at in the corner, gazing rather indifferently at the entire class who was staring at him.

Iruka broke out of his shock, and started to pass out the paper tests…

* * *

Outside, 30 minutes after the paper test…

Naruto was sure he failed that damn test. He was never good with paperwork, and, in all honesty, really couldn't bring himself to care about most of the questions. Things like general history of a ninja village were rather stupid when you realize that history is created by the winners, bending it to their will, and that entire villages can be wiped out in the course of a few days to a few weeks, completely making history obsolete. Theory on kunai throwing? Who the hell needs a theory on that? The only question that he deemed worthy to be answered was 'How was the Kyuubi defeated?' He thought his answer would probably cause the teachers to have simultaneous aneurysms.

"Kyuubi was sealed within a living person, dooming them to a fate of being an outsider within their own home village, to be hated by the very people he was supposed to protect. Not very smart of the village to do that to their savior, eh? The child disappeared at the age of three, and perhaps he returned twelve years later, without the Kyuubi being sealed within him?"

They were going out to the practical side of the Genin exam, which Naruto had to restrain himself from groaning in despair at the absurdity of it. Illusionary clones? Kunai target practice? Hand to hand sparring with a Chuunin? How the hell are these children supposed to protect themselves with skills like that? They may be his age, but damn they were quite far away when it comes to skill or even the correct mindset of a shinobi.

After calling out all the other students to do their Kunai exam, the teacher called Naruto over. The first thing the teacher had realized was that the teen had no pouches for weapons, and pointed it out to him (and most of the class). This caused raucous laughter from most of the Genin-to-be, before his response quickly shut them up.

"I specialize in wide-scale destruction through powerful elemental techniques. Kunai are worthless to me. If I ever engage into hand to hand combat with a kunai, the person I'm fighting damn well better kill me, because that puny knife is not going to help at all unless you hit someone in the heart, throat, or brain."

The teacher was dumbfounded at the fact that, not only had a student basically called him and most of the shinobi populace idiots, he also had a damn good reason to. He eventually picked his jaw up off the ground, and told the boy that he still needs to hit the targets. Naruto shrugged, and dropped the plush toy on the ground, raising an arm up. A light purple aura flared behind him, sparkling a little in the morning light, before he sliced his arm through the air. A single word escaped his lips.

"**Thunder**."

As soon as the second syllable ended, ten identical white lightning bolts arced from the cloudless sky, slamming down onto each target and causing them to explode from the force. The students stared in awe, and quite a bit of fear, of this newcomer, and the teacher looked ready to wet his pants. Sasuke… well… he was brooding. He wanted that power for himself, and vowed to get it by any means necessary.

The golden haired teen raised a blonde eyebrow at the instructor, scooping up his plush doll in his right arm before turning to face the man, the obvious question being asked.

"Does that pass for accuracy?"

Iruka nodded mutely, before ushering the class onto the hand to hand combat portion.

* * *

Thirty minutes later…

After quite a few students managed to score glancing blows on the teacher, who Naruto could have sworn was going easy on quite a few of the weaker ones, it was finally his turn. He was broken out of his musings of how the clans probably bribed the teachers to let their kids pass when his name was called, and he was set up against the assistant instructor.

Mizuki, it seems, had a bit of a grudge against him. Or at least, so he thought by the glare that was nearly burning the grass with its laden hatred and malice. He held onto his doll, not setting it aside for this portion of the exam, and stood his ground. The assistant instructor thought it would be prudent to try to taunt him into attacking first, so he thought of the first thing he could say that would provoke him.

"What? You're not going to put your doll away for this? Afraid it'll get dirty?"

The response wasn't one he was expecting. Naruto started laughing a hollow, creepy laugh. It took him a few moments to calm down before he could answer, and his reply turned the tables, provoking the teacher into attacking first.

"I'm more afraid that if I set it down, it'll hurt you. So I'm doing you a favor by keeping it far away from you. Come at me, if you can."

The Chuunin snarled at the mockery, his anger heightened by the fact that quite a few of the class were snickering behind his back. He charged at the student, attempting to wipe the non existent smirk off his face. He threw everything he could at the teen, including a few kunai. Of course, Iruka politely turned his head to ask a question of a student whenever he brought out the weapons, as he, too, had a grudge against the 'demon'. The man was quite hoping that Mizuki would horribly injure the boy, and wouldn't turn down this chance to have it happen.

Naruto was dodging everything that Mizuki could throw at him, using his insane flexibility as well as lithe body to avoid most projectiles. He used his unoccupied left hand to deflect every punch directed towards him, and even redirected a few kicks. Mostly, he was just dodging. He sighed in resignation, before asking the teacher, his face completely void of emotion.

"Are you actually going to hit me, or shall I just end this now? You're making a fool out of yourself in front of your own students."

The Chuunin snapped, his hands immediately starting to form hand seals for a jutsu, hoping to kill the brat once and for all. Before he could finish the last seal, though, the boy had disappeared in a blur, and his world spiraled into darkness.

Naruto stepped away from the unconscious teacher, after having jabbed the pressure point on the base of the neck to knock him out. He really didn't want to go into a battle of techniques with the man, as he might accidentally kill him. For good measure, though, he kicked the downed assistant in the groin; feeling quite satisfied that the man would wake up with one hell of an ache. He turned around to Iruka, who was looking quite aggravated.

"I beat your assistant in hand to hand combat, though I thought weapons and justu were barred. If they hadn't, I would've just knocked him out at the start. Ah well, no harm done, eh?"

The clipboard was cracking under the pressure that the Chuunin teacher's hands had on it. He nodded tersely before telling the class to head inside while he took Mizuki to the hospital to rest.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, classroom…

Iruka finally came back to the classroom, to find his newest student (if he could call him that) in an odd situation.

He was declining any and all offers of a date, which surprised Naruto that they would want to date him for about four seconds before he realized why they were asking. He quickly recognized the daughters of the clan heads in the Council, and had to forcefully restrain himself from going over there and killing the rest of them off.

The teacher cleared his throat, asking them to come before the class to demonstrate the final portions of the exam. A few tried to show off, namely Kiba and Sasuke, until it was time for Naruto. He stepped forward, and in a completely deadpan tone, asked a rather absurd question.

"Is this required to pass? I'm a destruction specialist, and I don't know the **Henge (Transformation)**, the **Bunshin (Clone)**, or the **Kawarimi (Substitution) **techniques as they are completely worthless to my profession."

Iruka nodded, saying that they were completely required to pass the test. The man had to repress an evil snicker when the teen sighed, thinking he was just going to give up, before the response shocked him.

"Whatever. Do you want me to make illusionary copies of myself that can be dispersed with a single hit, or do you want me to destroy an entire city block in one technique? I'm more than capable than most Jounin in combat, yet the Genin test is so stupidly easy that the techniques almost never get used, aside from the **Kawarimi**. If I fail the exam, then who cares? I'll just head off to another village that actually has Genin tests based on _real _combat. I wonder if I could beat the Mist's exam… I probably would do better than Zabuza…"

Iruka started to sputter indignantly, as the Hokage's note had specifically ordered him to pass the teen. Seeing no way out of it, he heaved a sigh and asked the boy to stay after class.

The rest of the class was caught between making fun of the Genin who couldn't use the three required techniques, and awe at the raw destructive power he had. After the rest walked out with their hitai-ate's, Naruto walked up to the desk and picked one up, before tying it around his left thigh. At Iruka's question of what he was doing, he replied with the utmost truth before disappearing in a swirl of lightning, leaving a resounding 'Boom' as he left.

"I know the Hokage would have forced you to pass me, so just put me as the dead last if you want. I really couldn't care less; I'm being paid to fight and kill people, so any team is fine with me."

* * *

Later that night as he returned home from roaming around the surrounding forests, Naruto would discover a squad of ANBU were waiting to 'question' him in his apartment, so he muttered a soft "**Break**".

Two ANBU were immediately imprisoned in a large, thick gray boulder. The remaining two ANBU tried to attack him, succeeding in immobilizing him by grasping his rather long hair. Their victory was short lived, as the boy mumbled a soft "**Bio-Break**", encasing his bright golden hair in a thick, green sludge that slipped off the locks and encased the ANBU, before disappearing into thin air. As they looked up and down to figure out what the teen tried to do, they found that their arms and legs were becoming immobilized. To their horror, as they looked down, they saw that their bodies were becoming stone. Naruto walked over to the large boulder, and tapped it, causing it to crack and shatter into a fine dust on the floor, revealing the horrified stone faces of the other two ANBU.

Getting his battle doll to assist him, he picked them up and headed to the Hokage's office in a swirl of wind.

* * *

Hokage's Office, 9 pm…

The Hokage was just about to leave for the day, sending a hateful glare at the ever-climbing paperwork, when two presences made themselves known. Naruto was standing there with his doll, carrying four statues that looked suspiciously like ANBU… His obvious question was answered before he could ask it when the boy spoke.

"They wanted to capture me and bring me in for questioning. They will be this way for the next few hours unless I want to reverse the technique, so either you start telling me right now why you're trying to abduct me from my own apartment or someone else is able to order the ANBU around."

The Hokage was shocked at the accusation, though inside he was hitting himself over and over for asking ANBU to escort him back to the Hokage tower so he could ask him a few things that slipped his mind when they first met. Heaving a heavy sigh, he was about to apologize to the teen when he was cut off again.

"Don't bother apologizing. It's not your fault that they tried to forcefully bring me here. However, you should finally realize that I'm not well liked _at all _in this village, and should've either sent a clone, or sent someone you trusted, instead of sending off random ANBU to get me. If they do this again, I promise they'll be brought to your office in bags of gray dust."

The Hokage sat back in his chair, rubbing at his temples, before speaking.

"I wanted to ask you a few things that I forgot to ask when you first came here. Can you release them from the technique now?"

The teen nodded a bit, a pale violet aura flaring around him before the stone seemed to fade away from the bodies of the ANBU, who were still stuck in shock and horror. Naruto turned to address them, and glared heavily.

"If you _ever_ try to apprehend me or attack me in my own home, I won't stop turning you to stone. I will kill you in the most explosive way imaginable, like I did to Danzo. Do not let your petty hatred of me get in the way of your jobs. If you wish to continue living, you will leave this office now, before I find a way to permanently alter you on a genetic level."

The ANBU glared at him before retreating via **Shunshin**, seeming to take his warning to heart. Naruto turned back to the Hokage, and sat in a chair. His first words were:

"What is it that you needed?"

The Hokage stared at the doll, cradled in Naruto's arm, suspiciously once again. He just couldn't get rid of the feeling that that little plush toy had killed off a large section of the village, as well as claimed his successor. He was almost positive the fox had to be influencing the boy's behavior…

"I wanted to ask you who that lady was you were talking to before she broke my crystal ball."

Naruto, at this, seemed to actually display some form of emotion. His face twisted into a scowl, his glittering purple eyes flashing in rage at the aged man.

"She was my caretaker, and the next time you find it prudent to place a chakra tag on me so that you can keep tabs on me, I will destroy every single one of your crystal balls. I do not take being spied on lightly, and if you had that damn tag on me, then why weren't you able to protect me better when I was a child? If my memory serves correctly, quite a few memory techniques were used on me to erase traumatic mob beatings, well over forty in number. Were you afraid your village weapon would be out of control if he were to grow up in that environment? Feeling oddly regretful that your successor's son was treated in such a way? How could you be so blind as to think I'd live a normal life when I was a Jinchuuriki?"

The Hokage looked stricken at the teen's well-placed anger, trying hard to come up with a reason for the tag to placate the young man. His mind was awash with regret that he could have, indeed, used that tracing tag to make sure of the boy's wellbeing at any point in time, but every time he saw the little ball of sunshine he was forcefully reminded of the resemblance to his successor, and couldn't bear to be near it, as it brought up memories of better times. Before he could try to create a solid defense for his actions, the boy was already standing up and heading towards the window. The parting shot sent over his shoulder chilled the Hokage to the bone.

"I only serve this village so long as it serves me. I will not be your mindless weapon; I will not emulate my sire and try to protect this village. I will stay so long as it serves _my _needs, and when that time comes that it tries to control me, as I'm sure it will, I will leave and never look back. Your village is irreversibly corrupted, Hokage-san, and there's nothing you can do about it. And tomorrow, since I have to be at the Academy for the team assignments, I need you to pass a message to the council for me. Tell them that I know what they're playing at, and there's no way they can try to breed my bloodline. If they continue these petty attempts, I will enact retribution. Have a pleasant evening, Hokage-san."

With that, the boy disappeared, a black hole surrounding him before collapsing, teleporting him away. The Hokage looked well aged beyond his years, rubbing his temples as he tried to sort out the massive headache coming on.

* * *

The next day, 7:30 am…

After waking up instantly and bolting to a sitting position in his bed, which dislodged his soft companion from his resting place on his chest, Naruto set about getting ready for team assignments. After taking a short shower, and wearing his standard clothing, he decided to let his hair stay down for the day. It dried quickly as he walked, with two long locks of hair framing his face and falling halfway down his chest. Any shorter, and they'd start to spike.

The Kyuubi doll was currently cradled in both arms, getting simultaneous ear scratching and belly rubs, much to his delight. If he had know that it'd feel this good, he would've agreed to be the teen's doll much sooner, possibly begging to be the doll, not that he'd ever admit it.

The long hair billowing out behind the teen as he strode made for an imposing appearance, causing Kyuubi to snicker a little as he noticed people looking at the teen in shock and awe. It was rather amusing to see fanclubs be born and disbanded at a rapid pace, created at first sight, and then disbanded once their minds caught up with the fact that this was the legendary 'demon child' they were following. A lot of people kept alternating between the fan-person tendencies and the hatred, causing them to have something akin to an epileptic fit upon setting their sights on the young man.

Naruto… was reminiscing on his times spent with Lulu. He dearly missed the woman, and hoped that she was happy wherever she was.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Farplane…

Lulu was currently watching the TV broadcast of Naruto's life with the rest of the cast of Final Fantasy X. Their first impressions of Lulu's apprentice were quite varied.

Kimahri looked at him, blinked rapidly, and asked in his unique way whether or not that was really a man.

Tidus cheered at having found a fellow blonde with fan people issues, and started to take notes on the newest way to avoid them; complete separation from society, coupled with intense hatred.

Auron had smirked at the boy, complementing Lulu on passing on her attitude to an impressionable child. She had replied that at least she hadn't passed on Wakka's attitude.

Wakka was whining about how the teen looked too grumpy, obvious aftereffects of being taken care of by Lulu herself.

Yuna had laughed softly, congratulating Lulu on finally finding someone to care for like a son. She also noted that the boy had taken a fashion tip from Lulu's attire, much to the Black Mage's chagrin.

Rikku… had squealed, going starry-eyed at the blonde. That is, of course, until she learned of his attitude and cause of said attitude, and turned her massive Flames of Feminine Fury (patent pending) towards the populace of Konoha.

* * *

Back to the story…

Naruto had finally made it to the Academy. He silently glided along the floor, oddly wondering how much better it'd look if he had a dress like Lulu's before shoving that thought out of his mind. He wouldn't look good in that dress, damnit. Men had no cleavage.

Kyuubi had whimpered a little as the ear scratching and belly rubs had ceased, causing the teen to smile warmly at the doll. The action startled the Kyuubi into freezing in place, wondering if it was, perhaps, an imposter! But no… nobody had magic fingers like Naruto, so it had to be the real one. His fears abated, he froze himself in position to look like an inanimate object once more.

After stepping into the classroom and making it all the way to the back without being noticed, Naruto sat down and heaved a bored sigh. Iruka rattled off the teams, before finally reaching his.

"Team 7, led by Hatake Kakashi, will be Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke" at this point a deafening squeal resounded, cracking some of the concrete, and causing the windows to shatter "and Naruto."

The final name caused the class to erupt in confusion, before Iruka had relayed the answer he had come up with for just such an occasion.

"The young man is a genius at demolition, but can't do normal ninjutsu, so we placed him as the dead last with the Rookie of the Year, as well as Kunoichi of the Year, hoping that he'd learn some from them or his Jounin sensei."

Everyone whipped their heads to stare at the blonde in question, who was having a staring contest with his doll that was placed on his desk. He looked up, feigning innocence, and asked in a polite tone.

"What? I don't think most ninjutsu are even worth learning. My bloodline techniques get the job done much more quickly."

Half the class snickered, while the other half fell on their faces at this. Iruka hid a slight sneer at the boy, and left the room, saying that the teachers would be in soon.

* * *

Three hours later…

Naruto was meditating, his doll situated atop his head. Sakura was discreetly (to her) hiding a syringe, waiting for Sasuke to drop his guard so she could acquire some blood for her Sasuke shrine. Sasuke, well aware of the girl's intentions, had moved across the room from her, and was eyeing her suspiciously.

This is the scene that one Hatake Kakashi walked in on. The gray haired Jounin was immensely confused that the Uchiha heir was almost cowering in fear of a pink haired…man? Who was currently trying to hide a syringe in a not-so-sneaky manner? The final student was one that had most of his attention (none of it positive). The Kyuubi doll perched on his head immediately became subject to one of his famous Cyclopian Glares, his one uncovered eye beaming waves of hatred at the doll. The golden haired boy, who he hadn't really paid attention to until now, snapped his gem-like light purple eyes open, and glared right back at the man.

Naruto could feel the hatred coming from the doorway, so he immediately had glared at the cause, finding it to be one Hatake Kakashi, who was supposed to be his sensei. A soft mumble of 'just my luck' later, he picked his doll up off his head and cradled it in his arm, walking up to the man and completely ignoring both Sakura and Sasuke. He regarded the man apathetically, shrugging his shoulders a bit before gesturing his head to the side and asking the most obvious question.

"You're our teacher, I take it? Lead the way. Those two will likely be at it for the next ten minutes, so you can just leave a note for them."

Disregarding what his student was saying, he broke up the fight, much to Kyuubi's silent dismay. He wanted the banshee to succeed, if only so that the Uchiha would feel irreversibly violated. Now he'd just have to wait and pray some snake-like pedophile used his tongue on the boy to achieve the same gesture.

Kakashi led them all up to the roof, before asking them to introduce themselves.

"State your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams, and specializations."

His voice was a rather lazy drawl, though Naruto could tell he was actually interested. Or more likely, he was interested in Sasuke… if his memory served correctly, Kakashi had an implanted Sharingan eye, so the Council probably bribed him to teach the Uchiha.

Sakura looked up from her task of trying to scoot as close to Sasuke as possible, and asked the first question that went through her head. Yep…right on through one ear and out the other.

"Sensei? I'm still confused, can you go first?"

Suppressing a sigh that would have inevitably escaped his facemask, he rattled off in the same bored tone.

"My name is Hatake Kakashi… my likes…? Hm… dislikes? Eh… Hobbies…? You're too young to know… Dreams?" here he cut himself off with a perverse giggle before resuming his introduction. "Specializations? Ninjutsu and Sharingan use."

Sasuke's head snapped up at the last part, wondering how this man had a Sharingan when he wasn't a great Uchiha. Kakashi seemed to realize this and elaborated.

"I have an implanted Sharingan eye. I can't use it as well as a real Uchiha, such as you, but I still use it well. Pinky, your turn."

Sakura huffed at the nickname, glaring at her sensei before starting her own introduction.

"My name is Haruno Sakura. My likes are… well… the person I like is…" she stopped here to send a glance at Sasuke, accompanied by a light blush. "My dislikes…? INO-BUTA (pig)! Hobbies?" here she cackled a little, sending multiple glances at Sasuke, who edged further away from her. Naruto, seeing Kakashi's puzzled stare, decided to elaborate for his sensei.

"She tries to rape him, and/or gather pieces of his skin and blood to decorate her Sasuke Shrine with."

The gray haired Jounin snickered a bit at this, and Sakura just glared at the flaxen haired teen before resuming her introduction.

"My dreams are…" she took a long glance at Sasuke at this, before squealing and blushing a beet red. She finally wrapped up her introduction after a moment. "Specializations? Um… I only know the Academy ninjutsu so… I don't have one. I have good chakra control, though."

Kakashi nodded a little, wondering who he could pawn her off onto. _'Maybe Kurenai?'_ He snapped his attention back to the situation, and nodded a bit at Sasuke, saying 'Your turn.'

Sasuke looked up from where he was glaring at the ground, before puffing up his chest and preparing his introduction.

"My name is… _Uchiha _Sasuke." Here a dramatic wind started blowing through his hair, causing the duck-ass to start to flutter in the breeze, his bangs whipping around. The wind quieted, after Kakashi sent a suspicious glance at Naruto who's mouth was twitching. The introduction continued. "I have no likes, and many dislikes, mainly my fangirls." Sakura, who had heard this as 'I love Sakura, I dislike not having Sakura around, and dislike all fangirls besides my Sakura' had squealed out a 'I love you too, Sasuke-kun!' and had to be apprehended before she could attempt to rape the Uchiha heir. After the interruption was quieted, he continued. "Dreams for the future…? I don't want to call it a dream. It's more of an ambition… to kill…a certain man…" here the dramatic wind blew back full force, a foreign light source shining down on him as if to create a spotlight, which both disappeared when Kakashi glared at Naruto again. "I specialize in fire jutsu, and as soon as I unlock my Sharingan, I'll be unstoppable."

Finally it was time for Naruto's introduction, and he nodded a little at Kakashi's acknowledgement of 'you, with the fox doll'.

"My name…? Naruto. Likes? Training, as well as fighting. I also enjoy playing with my doll." Sasuke snickered at this, mumbling about girly dolls. The Uchiha could have sworn killing intent started to emanate from the doll, and shut up. Kakashi glared suspiciously at the doll, wanting a reason, any reason, to destroy it. "Dislikes are biases, arrogance, and corrupt politicians, I've newly added. Hobbies…? Training, mostly. I meditate a lot, as well. Dreams…? I suppose to serve this village until it tries to control me, and then leave, whether by choice or by force." This information shocked the other three, and Kakashi's hand started to slowly go for his kunai pouch. "Specializations? Wide-scale destruction, animating objects with no life, and I can do well in hand to hand combat."

The second point was the last straw for the Jounin, who lunged at the doll, believing it to be the Kyuubi incarnate if his student was able to animate it. Before he could attack the doll and rip its stuffing out, he was struck in the chest by a palm thrust from the boy, sending him back to his seat. The boy continued on, as if adding an afterthought to his introduction, completely ignoring the fact that he had just struck his teacher.

"I also get highly annoyed at people who think to take out their completely irrational fear and hatred on my doll."

After regaining his composure, Kakashi told them to meet him at Training Ground 7 at 6 am the next day, and asked Naruto to stay behind.

The teen complied, scratching that special spot behind the fox doll's ears as he waited for the inevitable question or possible attack from his new teacher.

Said teacher was still glaring, hand just itching for the chance to destroy the accursed doll. He finally brought his mind back to the present, and spoke.

"Naruto, you and I need to go meet with the Hokage about this."

The boy just smirked, waving the man off with an indifferent tone to his voice.

"Whatever, Hatake-san. You go do that. I'm going back to my apartment."

The Jounin lunged forward, grabbing the boy by the shoulder and used **Shunshin **to teleport to the Hokage's office. As soon as they were there, he was subject to one of the coldest glares he had ever received in his life.

"Don't _ever _touch me again, Hatake. In fact, for deliberately attempting to not only to attack my possessions, as well as your completely idiotic suspicions, you're going to enjoy what it's like to be prey. **Toad**."

With the spoken word, the Jounin felt himself shrinking, his clothing melding into his body as he disappeared in a poof of green smoke. When the smoke disappeared, he realized he was quite smaller than before, and there was a nine tailed fox plush toy that was… walking towards him… threateningly…

Releasing a scream of instinctual terror, which came out as more of a 'Ribbit', he hopped around the Hokage's office trying to escape the evil plush toy.

Said fox plush was having the time of his life. He was able to terrorize some stupid ninja in his plush form! The brat really should let him do this more often.

Naruto turned to the Hokage and the two Council members who were currently in the office with him. The Council members were caught between glaring at him, glaring at the doll, and showing off smug smirks. The Hokage was looking weary and slightly amused as the small frog was chased around by a fox plush.

Finally the Hokage spoke.

"Naruto… could you change Kakashi back? I think he might have learned his lesson by now. I was actually just about to send a clone to get you, as these two Council members have something to…discuss… with you about."

Naruto, who had caught the pause on the word 'discuss', shrugged uncaringly and twitched a finger, causing Kakashi to revert to his human form, looking panicked. The Kyuubi plush doll got the last hit in, however, by biting viciously on the man's crotch, causing him to let out an unmanly shriek of pain before fainting. Naruto crouched down on the floor, holding out his arms and smiled as the fox toy jumped into them, giving the fox some well deserved belly scratches for a job well done.

He looked over at the two elderly council members, who were now caught between glaring at him, and seeming to wonder how he dare attack a ninja in the Hokage's office. They finally resorted to their smug smirking, before opening their mouths to speak.

"Naruto-san, the Honorable Council has come to a decision that you are to be graced with the honors to tutor young Uchiha Sasuke in your techniques, so that he may succeed in killing his brother who murdered his clan."

Naruto looked at them, and blinked rapidly, before looking down at his doll. Said doll started yipping in laughter, and was rolling across the floor. Naruto looked back up at them, over his shock at the stupid order, before glaring at them.

"I told you this before. I will not allow you to control me. Consider this a warning, and enjoy your life as statues for the next eight hours. **Break**."

The two were encased in a thick gray stone, before the stone dispersed in a gray cloud, leaving only two rough stone statues of their exact features standing there, looking horrified at the sensation of being petrified. Naruto looked over at the Hokage, who was once again shocked at how blunt the boy was being.

"If they ever try that again, they'll die a horrible death. When Hatake-san wakes up, tell him that he has also been warned, and that he should never threaten my doll again."

The flaxen haired young man then disappeared in a pillar of stone that shot out of the floor, leaving no trace as it receded, not even broken floorboards.

* * *

The next day, 9 am…

Naruto appeared in a swirl of fire, surprising both his teammates, as well as his sensei that had joined them only a moment before him. He glared at the golden haired teen, which looked just about the same as the day before, though he could swear the fox doll perched on his head was smirking victoriously at him.

He explained the bell test, and pulled out an alarm clock, setting it for noon.

After a rather unimpressive display of fangirlism from Sakura, who fainted at the Genjutsu image of Sasuke near-death, as well as a heated barrage of weaponry and jutsu from the Uchiha (who he let grab the bell, as he had to pass the boy either way), Kakashi was looking for his final student, hoping to tear the toy limb from limb for what had happened the day before. He found the boy leaning against a tree, the fox doll curled up at his feet.

The Jounin blurred into action, throwing a barrage of kunai and fire jutsu at the accursed plush toy. Unfortunately, all actions were halted by a thick lightning bolt arcing through all the metal weaponry and causing them to embed into the ground. The fire jutsu were halted by a wave of water that appeared out of thin air, evaporating into a thin mist. Naruto finally opened his eyes from his meditation, glaring a bit at the man.

"I told you not to try to destroy my doll, didn't I?"

The man glared in reply, angry that not only had a Genin stopped his assault, but that doll seemed to be mocking him!

"I don't care! It needs to die, as it looks just like the Kyuubi!"

Naruto broke out into a humorless laugh, stretching a bit.

"So anything that has any sort of relation to the fox, inanimate object or no, has to be destroyed? Your blind hatred sickens me, Hatake. In fact, I won't even fight you. I'll let my doll fight you."

Naruto sent a surge of Mana through the doll, allowing Kyuubi much more reign on his actions as it sped forward, reaching near Jounin speeds. Kakashi had to swiftly dodge as the tails whipped around maliciously, attacking near his ankles. He was unable to fight back, as the toy was too close to him to use jutsu, and weaponry might impale his feet instead. He finally was backed up against a tree, and the toy actually laughed at him, before it spoke in a deep, growling baritone.

"Looks like you fail, Hatake-san."

The doll lunged forward, knocking him to his knees with powerful strikes of its fluffy tails to the backs of his knees, before head butting the man in the groin with excessive force. Kakashi fainted from the pain, falling face first onto the ground. Naruto simply walked up, grabbed the remaining bell, and tied Kakashi to the post.

* * *

Two hours later…

The bell finally rang, waking Kakashi from his unconscious state. The first thing he noticed was the horrible aching pain in the area of his 'precious', as well as the ropes binding him to the training log. He opened his one eye and saw that all three of his students were staring at him. Sasuke was holding a bell, Naruto was holding his beloved First Edition Director's Cut Icha Icha Paradise, signed by the author, and Sakura was holding the other bell. Naruto's voice broke through the silence.

"We all pass, or else your book gets it."

Fearing for his adult literature, he quickly agreed. Sasuke and Sakura started to walk away, Sakura momentarily contemplating whether or not to untie her sensei, but that notion was disregarded as it would cut into her Sasuke time. Naruto stood in front of him, Kyuubi doll perched atop his head as he stared at the book, contemplating.

"Well, since you can't hold your own against one of your own Genin students, I believe you need to train, and this book would only distract you."

With that said, the book went up in a small burst of blue fire. Naruto disappeared in a swirl of mist, expertly avoiding the impending doom. The peaceful noon time sky was split with the echoing roar of "NOT MY ICHA ICHA!"

Kakashi surged against his bonds, fueled by the one force rivaling that of Feminine Fury; Perverted Novel in Danger Adrenaline Rush, something not dissimilar to the surge of strength a woman gets from seeing her child in trouble. He broke from his bonds, sobbing brokenly over his beloved book's ashes, and vowing vengeance on its killer.

He was certain he could get revenge, as he was now the teen's Jounin sensei, and was sure he could get him killed on a mission…

* * *

Five months later…

After multiple attempts on his life, due to Kakashi forcing him to carry Tora the Cat around, Naruto was fed up and he was going to do something about it. If the man wanted him dead that bad, why not get a C rank mission? At least he could kill something…

As he entered the Hokage's office and handed the accursed cat off to its owner, the Fire Daimyo's Wife, he realized why it hated her so much. He decided to voice his concerns, as he was an experienced caretaker of a fluff ball as well.

"Lady, you may want to let up on your grip. You're causing the cat a bit of pain, which is probably why it keeps running away."

The woman looked shocked for a moment, before regarding her cat with an inquisitive eye. Sure enough, it was mewling pathetically in pain as she squeezed it hard against her bosom, and she had an epiphany.

"Thank you for your advice, young man. Hopefully now my precious Tora won't run away from his kaasan anymore."

Her statement, coupled with his, caused everyone in the room to nearly faint in shock. As she left the room, carrying a now happy Tora, they were brought out of said shock. Sakura was the first to speak, yelling at Naruto for disrespecting the Fire Daimyo's Wife by addressing her that way. He simply replied that 'if she wants my respect, then she can take care of Tora better than that'.

The Hokage started to list off the different D ranked missions they currently had in stock, before Naruto finally snapped.

"Hokage-san, either you give this team a C ranked mission, or your stash of literature will be burned to a crisp. I know exactly what drawer it is in, and I'm sure you want to keep it safe."

The Hokage looked up, startled. He didn't think the boy would be ruthless enough to endanger his poor Icha Icha! Sure, he did it to Kakashi but…

"Agree to the mission, or the crystal ball also gets it, ero-kage."

At this, the Hokage was absolutely positive the boy was dead serious. He wouldn't threaten his crystal ball otherwise. Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke were all a mixture of confusion at the literature and crystal ball comments, and indignation that he dare speak to the Hokage without proper respect like that. Just before Kakashi was going to reprimand him for his disrespect, the Hokage spoke.

"I'll allow it. This is a C-ranked escort mission to protect a bridge builder while he finishes a bridge in Nami no Kuni (Country of the Wave)."

Said bridge builder entered the room at this point, looked around, and loudly declared that the 'girly boy with long hair' would be unable to protect him. Unfortunately, Naruto was already treading on thin ice with his temper and launched a barrage of lightning bolts, fireballs, a few blades of wind, and whips of water at the man. He would've continued with large chunks of earth next, but the man recovered from the shock at the utter destruction the 'girly boy' had caused to the wall surrounding him, as Naruto wasn't going to kill him…yet… he really wanted this mission, damnit, and not even a stupid old man was going to sabotage it.

Sasuke… was brooding. He wanted Naruto's power to kill Itachi. His thoughts kept repeating that over and over into a mantra, as it was what made up about eighty percent of his thought processes. The other twenty percent was made up of equal parts 'Duck Ass Hairstyle' 'Hating Fangirls' 'Not Training Because I am an Uchiha' and 'Uchiha Arrogance'.

Sakura was deathly afraid of the boy's temper, not wanting to aggravate him more as the techniques he was lashing out with would totally ruin her hair! How was she supposed to seduce Sasuke-kun if her hair wasn't absolutely perfect? And how dare Naruto have such great natural hair!

Kakashi was glaring maliciously at the blonde, vowing that he'd get his student killed in an unfortunate accident.

He was sure there would be something that could happen on this mission to somehow kill the boy off, and allow him to train the Uchiha in peace.

* * *

Author's Note: Here it is! I may be having a bit of excessive bashing, but really. Think of how impressionable small children are, and if they're raised on stories of the horrors another child their age committed, of course they're going to be a bit OOC. Couple that with the fact that their parents hate him, and they pick it up on instinct to be more like their parents.

Due to the excessive reviews gained from this story, it will be written in tandem with Calamity of the Sorceress, and I will not put one on higher priority than the other. I'll update them at the same time.

I hope you enjoy the chapter!


	3. Mission to Wave

Author's Note: Yay updating! I had a bit of fun with this chapter, bouncing back and forth between humor and seriousness. I hope you enjoy it!

Reviews!

**thedarkeststar**: Thank you. I really try to make them good.

**Turok1**: Yay cookie! Also, yes, Kakashi-frog is awesome.

**KunoichiDreamer**: Thank you.

**Atrumfides**: Eh, you'll have to read. However, he's not going to leave just yet. Perhaps in a chapter or two. Read on to find out why!

**Hakkyou no Yami**: And art... is a BANG! Bwahahaha. Thank you.

**frytrix**: Thank you. I'll try.

**Silver Eyes in Shadow**: Thank you. I try to update every other day, meaning I write one chapter per day, one for each story. I try to keep it in good quality, too.

**shadowzerover5**: Thanks. I'm not too sure about dark aeons, though. I mainly wanted an excuse to give him magic, and Lulu immediately came to mind, so I created what I thought would be a plausible explanation for why she would be still Unsent. However, I might throw in a few more things from FFX if people really want me to. For now, though, it's practically all Naruto.

**Vilkath**: Damn. I was thinking of doing that staring thing anyway, but wasn't able to in Konoha because, well... if left alone with the plush toy, they wouldn't hesitate to kill it, inanimate object or no. However... as you see in this chapter... outsiders are subject to the evil eyes of plushy doom!

**Akeyuki**: Unfortunately... no pairing. He will be on good terms with a few people, though, but no love for Naruto. He's got deep mental issues that he would have to sort out first.

**Kraken77**: Thank you!

**Red King**: Thank you, I try to pull it off without it being like... 'points at target, target is deleted by warp in space-time' or something.

**crimsonkyuubi**: Ooh, I like that idea. I might have to take you up on that, but I'll have to think about it first.

**kirallie**: Eh, he's cut off because he has extreme trust issues with most people. The one person in the village that he trusted had basically authorized people to mess with his memories, so that caused a huge break in trust. So basically, the only person he's comfortable with is the Kyuubi in the plush doll.

**Requiem of Solance**: Perhaps... but I like all my stories to have a bit of humor in them. A story just starts to get either boring or starts to feel like its repeating itself if it's constantly serious. That's my opinion, anyway. I have seen a few that managed to pull it off, but most that held my interest at least had smidgens of humor and crack-ness.

**Rei Tamashii**: The sporks shall rule the world! FEAR THE LEGENDARY WEAPON, THE TITANIUM SPORK OF TRUTH! With one jab of its mighty tines, you shall forever speak nothing but the truth! Thank you, by the way.

**sniper757**: Thank you!

Enjoy the chapter!

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Spell/Jutsu"**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Lulu, FFX, or anything like that. I wish I owned a living Kyuubi plush doll, though.

* * *

Mission to Wave

West gate, 6 am…

Tazuna had arrived at the time specified during the meeting to see the same long haired blonde teen from yesterday having a staring contest with a nine tailed fox doll. Said fox doll was being held by the teen right in front of his face, so that neither of them could miss the other blinking. Tazuna briefly considered calling the boy crazy, but after the events of yesterday… he'd rather not agitate him. The blonde finally broke away, muttering a soft 'damn', and sat against a nearby tree. He gave a slight wave to Tazuna as the bridge builder walked up.

"Hey there, Tazuna-san. I'm not sure when my teammates will arrive, but I'm pretty sure Hatake-san will be about three hours late, so I hope you have something to occupy your time."

With that said, the blonde closed his eyes in meditation, the fox plush perched on top of his head. The bridge builder was shocked that the Jounin would be three hours late, but guessed it was a ninja thing, so he pulled out a copy of Icha Icha Paradise and started to read to pass the time. Every now and then, though, he could swear he felt something staring at him, but brushed it off as a 'ninja village thing'. Finally the feeling became intolerable, and he looked up from his book to find whatever was staring at him.

To his shock, however, nobody was around. Just him and that meditating blonde with the fox doll. Said fox doll was staring in his general direction, but since it was a doll… it wouldn't be the cause of the feeling, would it? Nah… must be some hidden ninjas somewhere. He went back to reading his book. A few seconds later the feeling intensified, and he looked around warily. He still only saw the doll staring at him. He was starting to get a little creeped out now…

* * *

Later, 6:30 am…

Tazuna was staring to become a nervous wreck. He was absolutely sure that doll was staring at him, but it was just a doll, right? But every time he looked away, it seemed to flick its tails in a menacing manner, but when he looked back at it, it was still. He was starting to sweat a little, wondering if it was really a good idea to come to a ninja village for help…

This was the scene Sasuke (and, by proxy, Sakura) arrived at. Tazuna, staring at the doll perched on their teammate's head, and shaking like a leaf in a gale, sweating buckets. Sasuke shrugged, uncaring, and started to brood. Sakura was a little worried about their client, and asked him what was wrong. He had answered (in a whisper, afraid the doll would hear) that he could swear the plush toy was alive. Sakura had completely forgotten Naruto's introduction speech, as her mind had deemed it 'not pertaining to Sasuke' and discarded it. The teen also didn't like to animate the doll around Konoha people, as it would probably make them form a mob to attack him, making him take precious time out of his day to thwart the attack, so he only used it to taunt Kakashi when nobody else was looking. She told the man that it was a plush doll, and to quit worrying about it, before trying to coax Sasuke into a date, as this man had taken up all her scheduled non-Sasuke time.

Naruto, who had heard this from deep within his meditation, almost snickered. Kyuubi was a devious little fox, always playing pranks on people, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He murmured softly, just loud enough for the doll to hear him, before deepening his meditation, focusing hard on the Mana flowing through him, and working on controlling it so that the spells didn't require as much to get the desired effect.

"Good work, Kyuubi-kun. I like the way you work."

The doll gave a toothy grin, completely scaring the bridge builder out of his wits when he saw that the doll was _grinning_. Plus, he looked to have sharp teeth, for a cuddly toy. The fox didn't really mind the suffix to his name, but only Naruto could call him that, and only if he got belly scratches. He'd been paired with the teen for so long that he'd grown a little attached to the boy, quite liking how the blonde shared his love of fighting and sadism.

The fox licked his lips tauntingly at the bridge builder, causing him to go into the fetal position, muttering about evil dolls coming to get him. Poor man, he'll probably lose years off his life if he stays that stressed.

* * *

Two and a half hours later…

Kakashi arrived in a puff of smoke, to see the bridge builder rocking back and forth in a fetal position, mumbling about evil dolls plotting his demise, and that he really wasn't crazy. Sakura was staring at Sasuke with a mixture of stars and hearts in her eyes, and salivating like a dog for a bone. Sasuke was glaring at his third student, and you could almost feel the thoughts of _'I want that power' _coming off of him. His final student… well… he was… playing?

Indeed, Naruto was molding raw elements, and playing with them in an elaborate game of Toy Soldier. He had very detailed human golems created out of the ground, and they were all running in fear, with realistic shrieks of despair. He had created a clone of his Kyuubi doll out of fire, and had it barreling down upon the poor earth golems with a squeaky roar, tearing them apart. Lightning and wind were combined together with water to create small thunderclouds above the battleground, with realistic weather effects. Naruto had the real Kyuubi plush on his head, and he was cackling maniacally as the flame-Kyuubi destroyed the poor earth people.

Kakashi coughed to get attention on him, telling them it was time to head out. Naruto shrugged, the elemental battleground dissipating into thin air, with only scorches on the grass to denote lightning strikes and the places where the flame-Kyuubi had rampaged. The blonde stood up slowly so as to not dislodge the plush from his head, and shouldered a small backpack with changes of clothing in it. Sasuke headed over as well, a considerably larger pack on his back filled with clothing, food, and extra supplies.

Sakura… was struggling under the weight of her own pack. It wasn't a large pack, by any means, but it was full to the brim with make-up, accessories, clothing, hairbrushes, combs, and a little bit of food (she felt like she needed to diet to have better chances of attaining her 'Sasuke-kun').

As they all grouped together in a loose defensive formation, they walked out of the west gate at a civilian's pace, walking through the forest.

* * *

A few hours later…

They were keeping up a decent pace (read: Naruto was half asleep on his feet from absolute boredom, Sakura was sweating as she tried to not pass out, and Sasuke was even running out of things to brood about) when a rather conspicuous puddle was spotted along the road. Naruto, not able to feel any real water in the puddle, immediately recognized it was a genjutsu to hide nins in, and had to try extremely hard to stop himself from breaking out in evil cackles. Sakura was currently too busy trying to turn 'sweating profusely from slight workout' into an attractive look to catch the eye of Sasuke, who was glaring up at the sky, as if willing his Uchiha might to make the sun stop shining, as Uchihas were never supposed to tan. Kakashi seemed to be the only other one who spotted the puddle for what it was, and Naruto had to stifle a groan.

'_Didn't they teach them _anything _in the Academy? So far I only see basic projectile throwing, illusionary clones that can't do anything besides distract, the ability that most five year old ninja children have of using the __**Henge (Transformation)**__, as well as the standard __**Kawarimi (Substitution) **__that all nins learn. What were they _doing _for all those years?'_

Kakashi, still trying to get his blonde student killed, had tapped Sasuke on the shoulder and whispered in his ear about the true nature of the puddle, hoping that the Uchiha would back away and let his teammate fight the nins hiding in the puddle without him. This was, of course, a decent plan. Too bad he didn't take something into mind when creating it; Sasuke always had to prove he was the best, and he couldn't prove he was the best if he wasn't fighting, therefore Sasuke would be fighting. The group had just passed the puddles up by now when the two nins attacked from 'hiding'.

Their weapon of choice was an odd one; they both had a single gauntlet, placed on the opposite arm from the other. The one on the left had the gauntlet on his right hand, and the one on the right had his on his left. The gauntlets had wicked looking spikes protruding from the front, and if the purple substance was any indicator, they were also poisoned. The two weapons were connected by a linked, razor sharp chain that they threw around Kakashi and pulled, instantly separating the man into six different pieces. The trauma of seeing her teacher die caused Sakura to scream in horror and freeze up. Sasuke had tensed a bit, as the man was supposed to help him with his Sharingan, damnit, and now he was dead! He blamed Itachi, though, so all was well. Naruto… was glaring at a spot in the forest; silently contemplating if he could blast his teacher's hiding spot and claim he died defending the team from nuke-nin (missing nin).

His thoughts about killing his teacher were interrupted, however, as Sasuke charged at the two nin with a kunai in his hand. He had pinned the links of the razor chain to the trunk of a tree by sinking a kunai, followed by a shuriken, into one of the connecting links, forcing the two to disconnect the chain to fight effectively. He was able to get in a few good punches and kicks, though his weapon was knocked away immediately. Kakashi was just about to intervene when he realized that Sasuke wasn't going to win this when Naruto decided to join the fight, as he was starting to get itchy to finally fight something.

Shifting his doll to his left arm, he raised his right hand up to his face, a slight purple aura enveloping him, before shoving his hand forward into a palm thrust in the air as if attacking an imaginary enemy. A single word escaped his lips, before results were shown.

"**Aero**."

A gust of concentrated wind slammed into the two brothers with hurricane force, heaving them bodily up into the air as the winds started to circle them, ripping through clothing and slicing at exposed flesh, before slamming them both into a tree, instantly knocking them out. Both unconscious nins were bleeding heavily from the wind inflicted wounds, though they wouldn't die. Sasuke was glaring heatedly at his blonde teammate for stealing his spotlight, and Sakura was still too horrified about her teacher's death to do anything. Tazuna realized that, indeed, the girly one was the most powerful of all three, and he would do well not to speak of his appearance again.

Kakashi finally appeared in front of both Naruto and Sasuke, shocking both the Uchiha and his pink haired parasite, as they had truly thought he was dead. Naruto, however, just snorted at the man before asking his question.

"What, you're too lazy to fight, too? It's bad enough you're too lazy to train us."

The gray haired Jounin glared at him, before turning to Sasuke with an 'eye smile' and praising his work.

"Good job, Sasuke and Sakura, defending the client like that. Naruto, why didn't you step in sooner? Sasuke could've been hurt in close combat with those two."

The blonde blinked at the man, before looking at his doll, as if asking the plush for reassurance that his teacher really did ask that question. Finally he looked back up at the man, his amethyst eyes staring at him in mock disbelief. He answered, his voice dripping mockery and sarcasm, though still giving the Jounin a rather good excuse.

"What? You wanted a demolition specialist to attack targets within close quarters of the Uchiha heir? Are you _mad_? I could have killed him... I really should have done that instead, now that I put it that way…" The last part was mumbled to his doll, not allowing anyone else to hear it. The plush toy snickered a little, and nodded its head before becoming motionless again.

Kakashi verbally interrogated their client, until he finally broke down and came clean that he was being targeted by an extremely wealthy man who didn't want the bridge to be built. He finally resorted to trying to guilt trip the team, which caused Sakura to tear up at his story, Sasuke to start to brood, and Naruto… was yawning boredly. When asked if they wanted to continue the mission, it was the blonde who spoke first.

"I want to finally get a challenge sometime or another. It gets boring when I'm not pushed to my limit."

Sasuke agreed next, as he wanted to show up the Black Mage at his own game, and he wanted to prove his Uchiha Superiority to the blonde who, apparently, wasn't affected by the mere mentioning of his last name like most of the village.

Sakura was deathly afraid of going into combat again, but as soon as Sasuke agreed, she agreed too, as it would let her spend more time with him, and she was sure Sasuke would come to save her if she was in trouble…right?

Let's let her continue dreaming.

They continued on their way, crossing the sea that separated Nami no Kuni from Fire Country. While they were on the boat, they got to see the unfinished bridge, which had Sakura staring in awe of its size, Sasuke glaring at it as if daring it to try to get more respect than him, and Naruto to blink at it, before wondering why they built it so high up from the water, since the sea was quite calm here year round. No need for forty foot elevation when you could do just as well with ten foot.

They finally reached Nami no Kuni, and the boat disembarked to head back to the other side. They continued walking towards their client's house, though Naruto was starting to get this itching feeling that something was going to happen.

* * *

Two hours later…

They were almost to their client's house, and a heavy mist was rolling in. Since it was early in the afternoon, it was quite obviously a ninja's work. Naruto knew this, as well as Kakashi, but Sasuke and Sakura…

Sakura was worrying about what the mist would do to her hair.

Sasuke was trying to glare at the mist for blocking out the sunlight when he, an Uchiha, couldn't do so.

Naruto just shrugged, hoping that whoever caused the mist would off the two. Of course, he knew they'd live, just because Kakashi would save them, but he could have his own hopes and dreams, damnit. He started to give his Kyuubi doll some belly scratches as he waited for whoever created the mist to finally attack.

It only took a few more minutes for the creator of the mist to finally show himself, as a whirling slab of metal spun through the air, the sound muffled a bit by the mist. Kakashi and Naruto, however, heard it; Kakashi from extensive training, as well as participating in the Second Shinobi War, and Naruto… because he had to train his ears to learn when Lulu-oneechan would test his reflexes by using whispered **Thunder **spells, making him learn how to dodge an ambush. It took four months, and several thousand lightning induced burns, before he could finally hear her whisper the spell and jump away.

Kakashi's yell of "GET DOWN!" broke him out of his reverie, and he back flipped over the giant sword, holding his doll close to his chest to avoid dropping it. As he landed softly on the ground, he saw the owner of the sword standing on the hilt of it, as the blade was buried deep within a tree trunk across the clearing. The man was pretty tall, and had to be quite strong to heave around the heavy zanbato on a daily basis. The most notable things about him were the scratched Mist hitai-ate, his black and white camouflage pattern leg and arm warmers, as well as the mask of bandages covering the bottom half of his face. The man seemed to be grinning, if the creases near his eyes were any indicator, as he spoke in a rough voice.

"Sharingan no Kakashi, eh? No wonder the Demon Brothers failed."

Naruto failed to stifle a snort of derision at that, prompting the nuke-nin to look in his direction.

"What are you laughing at, blondie?"

Naruto blinked at the man, before looking over at Kakashi who seemed to be contemplating ways of getting Naruto killed against the man. Might as well make it easier for him...

"Hatake ditched us to observe in the foliage. I'm hard pressed to think that he'd fight hard for anything aside from his beloved porn novels."

The ex-Kiri-nin looked slightly shocked at this, before glancing at Kakashi who was scratching the back of his head sheepishly. He broke out into loud laughter, pulling the sword out of the tree and advancing on the group.

"Did he? Well then. Let's see if he tries to fight a little harder when his team's life is at stake."

Naruto tapped an index finger against his chin as he started to think about it, and placed the Kyuubi doll on top of his head before he stepped forward.

"Actually, I believe he's trying to get me killed… and I'm getting really bored of his pathetic attempts. Plus, I've wanted a challenge for awhile now, what do you say? Up for a one-on-one water fight? I haven't had a good challenge in those for ages…"

The Mist Swordsman blinked in surprise at the teen, before laughing even louder this time.

"You? Fight me? You're just a Genin!"

Naruto shrugged his shoulders uncaringly, raising an arm up to his face and flaring his Mana as he prepared a spell.

"Suit yourself, then, I'll go first. **Watera**!"

Three thick columns of water shot from around him, one on either side and one from in front of him, all speeding towards Zabuza. The Kiri nin was quite shocked at the teen's ability, as he seemed to have pulled the water out of the air itself. Only years of experience allowed him to dodge the pummeling columns of water, as they created three matching deep craters in the ground where he once stood. He jumped back onto a lake to the side of the clearing, rapidly going through hand seals before calling out his jutsu.

"**Suiton: Bakusui Shouha! (Water Element: Exploding Water Shockwave)**"

A large wave of water barreled down on the Genin team, who all but one jumped out of the way, with Kakashi taking Tazuna with them. Naruto stood in the clearing, gazing impassively at the wave as it came towards him. He channeled pure Mana through his hand and seemed to backhand the air in front of him. The wave, being the target of the manipulation, crashed earthward, the main force being deflected away from him. Zabuza was quite shocked, as he really thought the Genin would just be written off and killed immediately. He started to grin, however, as he realized that this teen might pose a challenge to him, something that only Haku seemed to be able to do lately.

"What do you know… it seems you do have talent. What's your name, boy?"

Naruto gave a slight smirk, raising his arms above his head as his doll sprung to life, scaring the shit out of the bridge builder who had finally managed to convince himself that the doll was inanimate. Sakura and Sasuke were currently too busy fawning and brooding over power, respectively, to notice. A light purple aura flared around the blonde, his hair starting to lift into the air from the energy he was accumulating.

"Naruto. My name is Naruto. Prepare yourself! **Waterga**!"

Both arms slammed downward, the doll on his head mimicking his actions with his tails as the water all around the teen sprung to life. A gaint globe of water arose from the surrounding area, the insides churning and twisting before it exploded in Zabuza's direction, carrying a crushing force as the agitated water surged towards the Mist nin. The ashen-skinned man jumped to the surrounding trees to avoid the water as it crushed the surrounding landscape, leveling over a dozen trees in its wake. He barely was able to avoid being caught in the spell, having jumped over it from the treetops. His hands were already starting to form a new jutsu as he descended, calling out as he touched down on the calmer waters behind the surge.

"**Suiton: Suiryuudan! (Water Element: Water Dragon)**"

Gathering the water literally flooding the clearing, the jutsu forced it into a roughly dragon like shape. The water dragon twisted and twined around Zabuza, before coiling up and springing forward, aimed directly for Naruto. The teen in question looked vaguely interested in the jutsu, before he shrugged and raised his right hand, lowering it in a swift chopping motion, augmented with his magic. As the water dragon neared him, it split cleanly down the middle to hit either side of him, leaving him unharmed. The swordsman's jaw nearly dropped as he witnessed the feat, one only replicated by his own apprentice. His shock didn't last long, however, as the boy swiftly retaliated.

"A pity. It was an interesting technique, but I believe it's time to end this…"

With that said, the doll jumped off his head and onto the dry ground directly in front of his feet, its tails swirling and flicking as the boy started to cast an even more powerful spell. The violet aura darkened, wind swirling around the teen as the energy was gathered. Globules of water formed out of the air and rose from the water of the clearing, accumulating just above the blonde. In less than three seconds later, the water from the entire clearing had formed into a massive blob of water above the teen's head, over thirty feet in diameter. It lowered itself in front of the boy's body, hiding him from view as a shout broke the shocked silence.

"**Waterja**!"

The blob of water exploded forward, forming a forty foot tall tidal wave that was easily twenty feet across. It descended towards the swordsman, who was too shocked to even move out of the way of the technique, and slammed downward on top of him. The pulverizing force of the wave sent him flying through the air, and slammed him against a tree trunk, where three senbon needles embedded into his neck. Naruto, his lust for a challenge finally sated, let the spell refill the drained lake, as well as disperse back into the air to replace the missing water molecules. A hunter-nin jumped from the tree line, and picked up the 'corpse' of Zabuza, thanking them, before leaving in a swirl of mist.

Kakashi was both frightened and frustrated by his third student for multiple reasons. Firstly, he had shown exactly _why _he was a demolition specialist, and could probably even kill him. Secondly, the boy had just taken on an A-class nuke-nin and not only lived, but only seemed to be only slightly winded from the massive elemental manipulation he pulled off, without hand seals! And finally, he was frustrated because the teen didn't die, and that his Sharingan couldn't copy those techniques! It was as if chakra wasn't even flowing through the boy at all when he used his abilities!

Sasuke's face was shadowed by his hair as he glared heavily at the ground below him. Why? Why must he be so weak? Why did the 'dobe' of the class have so much power, when he, an Uchiha, did not? It didn't make sense! Finally, a thought broke through his angst: What if he got the teen to teach him? Surely he could use those techniques better than the 'dobe' could? He nodded to himself; he would simply have the boy teach him, and then he would kill Itachi.

Sakura… well… she didn't pay attention to the fight at all. She was too busy staring at Sasuke.

Tazuna was pointing at the doll that was now in the boy's arms, unable to form a coherent sentence. Mainly words like 'doll' 'alive' 'not crazy' and 'out to get me' could be heard, though the doll in question was currently motionless. Of course, since Sasuke was too busy brooding about his teammate's power, he didn't notice the doll had moved during the fight, and Kakashi refused to say anything about the plush toy, too annoyed that he had lost a fight to it previously. Poor Tazuna.

Naruto walked back to his team, looking almost… slightly… happy? Nah. Must be a trick of the light. The only odd things after the fight that struck most people were that: his hair was back into place as if it hadn't just floated behind him when he was fighting, and that he was completely dry while most of the ground was muddy and squishy from the extensive water fight. Sakura was doing an impressive imitation of Sasuke's angst as she grumbled mentally about his hair, while Inner Sakura raged against the situation.

'_Damn him and his perfect hair…' 'Shannero! How did he get his hair to be like that?! It's better than ours!'_

Crazy banshees with split personalities aside, the blonde simply cocked his head to the side, and asked in a mocking innocent tone.

"What?"

Kakashi just sighed in frustration, while Sasuke thought about how to approach his teammate on getting him to train him, and Sakura brooded on his perfect hair. Tazuna… was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, still pointing at his doll. Slightly annoyed at the silence, the teen spoke up again.

"Shall we continue on to Tazuna's house now?"

The bridge builder nodded a bit, before walking ahead of them, casting glances over his shoulder at the doll in the teen's arms that he could swear was smirking at him.

On the way to Tazuna's house, Sasuke finally reached a decision of how to get his teammate to train him, and spoke.

"Dobe, train me."

Yes, he had spent quite a few minutes wondering how he could get his teammate to train him, and three words were all he came up with in a rude, short, sentence. Truly a modern wonder, given his awesome mental prowess.

The blonde blinked in slight surprise, saw the almost smug glint in Kakashi's eye, and gave the same response he gave to the Council members back in Konoha.

"Uh… no. If you want training, get our teacher to do it. Don't bother me with your petty revenge kick."

Sasuke fumed, turning to give the blonde the full force of his patented Uchiha Death Glare and asked:

"Why won't you train me?"

Naruto struck a thinking pose, placing the doll on his head as he narrowed his eyes as if viewing into the distance, an index finger tapping his chin. After staying that way for quite a few minutes, in which the remaining group had stopped to watch, he seemed to reach a decision, and gave the Uchiha his answer.

"I don't want to."

Sasuke nearly exploded in fury at this statement, as _everyone _wanted to train an Uchiha. Clearly, the blonde must have not heard of the clan's greatness, and was about to explain just why the Uchiha clan was so great when the blonde elaborated his answer.

"My techniques are personal, and I refuse to teach anyone else how to use them. Don't even try stealing them with that thieving eye technique of yours either. My bloodline allows me to use them without hand seals, meaning you couldn't replicate the effects without years of trial and error."

Kakashi's eye narrowed in suspicion at this supposed 'bloodline' of his. Nobody was able to get around the power of the Sharingan! The only technique that was unable to be copied was the **Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere) **as it was pure chakra manipulation! But this boy didn't even use chakra, or else his eye would've seen it! His mind entertained the thought of his student using youki, demon energy, to use the techniques, and started to believe his student was the Kyuubi, not the doll. He turned his head to glare at the blonde as they continued on to Tazuna's house. If the boy wouldn't teach Sasuke willingly, then he would force him.

They finally reached Tazuna's house, with both Sakura and Sasuke in the middle of an internal angst rant about different parts of their blonde teammate, and Kakashi contemplating how to force the blonde to train the Uchiha. The man's house was actually a renovated inn, so they were able to each get a room to themselves. Dinner was a quiet affair, though it was quite delicious, as Tazuna's daughter, Tsunami, was quite the cook. Her son, Inari, however, spoiled the meal with an outburst of 'you're all going to die! Nobody can stand up to Gato!' before the child stormed up to his room. Naruto looked up to the plush toy on his head, and had to hold in a snort of laughter as a thought presented itself to him.

'_That boy could teach Sasuke how to truly angst. His little black cloud of gloom was twice the size of the Uchiha's. Truly, that one must be some form of prodigy in the arts of Brooding.'_

After bidding the family goodnight, Naruto headed up to his room. He placed a magical ward or two against intruders around the room, before slipping into bed, holding the fox doll to his chest.

* * *

The next morning…

As they all headed down to breakfast, with Sakura's angst intensified when she realized that her blonde teammate's hair was just as perfect as ever, Kakashi decided to greet them in his own unique way.

"Zabuza is still alive."

This caused Naruto to snicker a bit, causing Sasuke and Sakura to break out of 'gloom and doom' mode to glare at him. Kakashi also joined in on the glare, not liking to be made fun of.

"Something you find funny, Naruto?"

The blonde in question pulled an innocent face, though his purple eyes seemed to sparkle in impish delight as he replied.

"Well, I'm just surprised it took you this long to realize the hunter-nin was a fake. I was just toying with the man, though… if I really wanted to kill him I would've used lightning techniques instead of fighting water with water. You didn't really think he'd die from a water technique, did you? The 'hunter-nin' placed him in a near death state with the needles hitting a vital pressure point in his neck. From taking a nearly direct hit from the water, as well as the stress placed on the body from the near-death state, he'll be out of it for a week or two."

Kakashi's glare intensified as he sent Sasuke and Sakura down to breakfast without them, saying he needed to speak with Naruto about something. As soon as he was sure they were out of earshot, he rounded on the Genin, his one eye nearly blazing in fury.

"If you knew he wasn't dead, then why didn't you kill him?"

The boy met his glare, lips twisting in a slight sneer.

"Because the man actually has honor, unlike you, thief. I know you were trying to copy my abilities while I was fighting. Don't you have any grace at all, or do you always copy from your own comrades?"

The Copy-nin sputtered a little in indignation at the accusation, while the blonde walked down to breakfast, pulling his doll off his head and placing it securely in his left arm.

* * *

Outside, three hours later…

Kakashi had told them that he was going to train them (finally) so as to be able to correctly fight Zabuza and his accomplice. Naruto could barely hold in his laughter at the exercise they were going to do. Tree-walking? That's the basis of control of all energies, and the man was only _now _teaching it to them?

Sensing that one of his students wasn't awed at the feat of walking against the flow of gravity directly upward, he glared at the offender, finding it to be the one he hated most. Deciding he would wipe the non existent smirk off the teen's face, he called down to him from upside down on the tree branch.

"Naruto, since you don't seem to be surprised at all by this, how about you go first?"

The blonde simply let out a derisive laugh, with a mocking reply.

"Sure thing, Hatake-san."

He walked slowly towards the tree, not stopping at all to gather his energy as he walked directly up the trunk, his pace not wavering in the least as he went all the way to the top before back flipping off the top, landing barefooted on the ground without even a thud. Kakashi's glare intensified as he decided to put his plan into action.

"Naruto, can I speak with you for a minute?"

The teen simply shrugged his shoulders, still holding onto that accursed doll in one arm as he followed his teacher out into the woods. Once they were out of sight or earshot of his two teammates, the teacher rounded on him, and he could _feel _the arrogance and smugness emanating off the man.

"I order you, as your sensei, to teach Sasuke your techniques. You have far too much power to be a Genin, and Sasuke needs that power to get his revenge on his brother."

Naruto's left eyebrow twitched once. Twice. Three times. Before finally answering the man, a disbelieving look on his face.

"Do you really think that, if the Council failed to order me to do so, that you would succeed? I will give you this one last warning, Hatake. Do not fuck with me, as I am not to be trifled with."

To further prove his declaration, his leg shot out in a snap kick, which landed solidly on the Jounin's chest. The blow caused all air to rush out of his lungs, leaving him winded and gasping for breath, doubled over with his hands on his knees. The blonde disappeared off into the forest to do his own training, not to be seen for the rest of the week, much to Sasuke's and Kakashi's irritation.

* * *

Six days later, twilight in the forest…

Naruto was currently sitting against a tree, eyes closed as he worked on trying to blend two elements together. He was almost succeeding, but something was missing. He was broken out of his meditation as he felt another person enter the clearing with the stealth of a shinobi. One purple eye opened slightly, so as to continue the illusion of being asleep. The intruder upon the clearing was a little shorter than him, and looked quite feminine. They were wearing a pink kimono, and held a basket on their left arm with a few herbs inside it. The figure had long, brown hair, and was currently approaching with their arm outstretched to gently shake him awake. His eyes snapped open completely before the person could touch him, causing them to back away in slight shock and fright. Sensing no inherent malice coming from the other person, he relaxed a little and tried to find out why the person seemed so familiar.

"Sorry about scaring you, but I don't like being touched."

The woman? nodded a little, her brown eyes sparkling in a bit of sadness, and… understanding? Naruto was confused at that part, and blinked a little in shock as she seemed to recollect some memory of a distant past, if her misty gaze into the air were any indication. Her soft voice carried a hint of sadness before she snapped out of her daze.

"I understand. Sorry about waking you."

Naruto shook his head slightly, before standing up with a stretch, his doll situated atop his head.

"Don't worry about it. I was awake by the time you entered the clearing. Why are you out here, anyway?"

The girl seemed to be slightly shocked that he was feigning sleep the entire time she saw him, before answering, one hand gesturing to the basket on her arm.

"I'm gathering medicinal herbs to help someone close to me. Would you like to help?"

The teen decided he might as well, as helping her might help him remember how he knew her. As he helped her gather different herbs to staunch bleeding, promote faster healing, and ease pain, he realized who she was.

"So… hunter-nin-san… how's Zabuza-san doing?"

The girl stiffened, and backed away. She hadn't brought any weapons with her when she had gone to collect herbs, and this boy was certainly terrifying in the power he wielded. She decided that, if he hadn't attacked her yet, she might have a chance.

"He's doing alright, though I am curious to know how you knew I was the hunter-nin…?"

The blonde gave a soft chuckle, pulling the doll off his head and setting it on the ground.

"The herbs you are collecting are the same ones I had to use back when I was training with my water manipulation. The bludgeoning force of water causes pain, as well as internal bleeding, and the needle trick you pulled would have put some heavy stress on the body. Would you mind if I accompanied you back to Zabuza-san? I wanted to thank him for providing a challenge for me, as I haven't had one in well over half a year."

The woman nodded slightly, for fear that, should she refuse, the boy would attack her. She was considerably surprised when the doll lifted the basket's handle using its tails, and walked beside them as they headed towards their base. At her shocked and slightly curious stare, the teen decided he should give her a half truth.

"Part of my bloodline allows me to animate inanimate objects. When I use stronger techniques, I use my doll to help me in my manipulation. Surely when you were watching the fight, you noticed how it moved?"

The woman nodded a bit, still curious about the plush toy. She gave him a slight smile, and decided that, since he told her about his bloodline, she might as well reciprocate.

"I see… my bloodline allows me to use **Hyoton (Ice Element)** techniques. I've never heard of your kind of bloodline before, though. Is it rare?"

The blonde nodded slightly, before his lips twitched upward in a slight smile.

"I'm the last of my line, I believe. I've been trying to recreate fusion elements through my manipulation, like Ice and Wood, but something is missing about it. Perhaps, should we both live through this mission, you could give me a hint?"

The woman was a little shocked at that, as she didn't think anyone would be able to recreate her bloodline's ability. However, this boy seemed to be like her, almost. Before she could answer, she had to ask him another question, as they were within sight of the base by now.

"I'll think about it… but tell me… why do you fight?"

The boy's lips curled into a sad smile, startling both her and the doll, as the boy nearly never showed his real emotions. His voice had a haunted, far away aspect to it.

"I fight for a promise I made to one who became my family. I promised her that I would take care of myself."

The woman gave a sad nod, before replying.

"I fight for those that are precious to me. To protect my precious people, I will encase my heart in ice and become a true shinobi, should it be required. My name is Haku, by the way."

The blonde gave her a slight smile, and nodded politely.

"Precious people, eh…? My name is Naruto."

Haku opened the door to Zabuza's room, to find Gato berating the man for not killing the bridge builder. The blonde skillfully hid himself in the room, using a complex weave of Mana to seem to sink into the wall. In reality, he had simply disguised himself as the wall, letting light pass through him.

After Gato tried to strike at Zabuza's supine form with his cane, which caused Haku to blur into action, catching his wrist and snapping it like a twig, he left, calling out that they would pay for their insolence. Naruto had to stifle a snort at that, as the man's body guards were simply pseudo-samurai with no real abilities besides knowing how to use crude battoujutsu (drawing techniques). Zabuza finally took notice of the fox plush carrying the basket of herbs and spun his head around, looking for the blonde who owned said doll. The boy appeared from the wall, startling the recovering man, though he couldn't sense any ill intent from the boy. The blonde held out his hand in a peaceful gesture before speaking.

"I simply wanted to thank you for actually posing a challenge to me. It's been well over half a year since I had to go that far. Plus, I thought you had honor when you agreed to a water fight, instead of using your specialty of Silent Killing to try to blind me and assassinate me with your sword."

The man grinned, from the bed, showing off pointy teeth as the mask of bandages was absent, before replying.

"Sure thing, brat. Only Haku can usually keep up with me when I start to use water jutsus, though yours are considerably more… destructive."

The blonde gave a slight smirk at the description, before picking up his doll and handing the basket to Haku. He sat on the edge of the bed and scratched behind the fox's ears.

"Eh, I'm a destruction specialist, as I use wide-scale elemental techniques of all elements to overwhelm and destroy. Haku has real talent, though, but not on the battlefield. She seems a little too gentle for that. However, when I was training with my mentor awhile back, she told me something that holds true to Haku. 'Anyone can destroy, but only truly skilled people can heal.' At the time, I thought she was talking about the control required for the healing techniques, but I think now I realize what she meant. It's considerably easier to kill someone and not think twice about it, than to heal the wounded."

Haku smiled a little at this, and Zabuza seemed to think it over before nodding. The fox doll gave a toothy grin, before speaking, which surprised both Zabuza and Haku.

"Took you long enough to figure that out, brat. The crazy bitch always was telling you stories about her friends, and it took you this long to realize what she was talking about?"

The blonde glared at the doll, before retaliating.

"No more ear scratches until we're back in Konoha, for that. Plus, you're not supposed to talk around other people…"

The fox doll looked absolutely stricken at the news, his normally menacing red eyes tearing up and widening into a kicked puppy look. His ears laid back against his head, and his tails seem to droop. Haku almost squealed a "KAWAII!" at the scene, and Zabuza was intrigued.

"I noticed your doll could move, but I didn't know it could talk."

Naruto scratched the side of his cheek sheepishly, while the doll was brokenly sobbing in Haku's arms.

"My doll has a soul, but since it's a Kyuubi doll, I normally won't let him talk as most of Konoha already wants to tear him limb from limb for just resembling the fox. If he were to speak… well… you know."

The Kiri-nin snickered at that, as they both watched Haku squeeze the life out of the doll in a hug.

"Anyway… I came to tell you also that Hatake is trying to train my two teammates to get ready for a second battle, should you attack again. Though if he orders me to teach 'Uchiha-sama' again, I swear I'll turn him into a statue. The man has absolutely no honor, as he tried to steal my techniques with his implanted eye while we were fighting. Thankfully, he was too busy staring at me to steal your jutsus."

Zabuza was considerably shocked at this. What kind of teacher tries to go behind their back to steal their own student's techniques? He cracked a slight grin at the lack of respect for the Jounin, his own respect for the famed 'Copy-nin' taking a hit from the news.

After bidding a fond farewell to Haku and Zabuza (read: Haku tried to find out if dolls could suffocate in hugs, while Zabuza and Naruto snickered at the poor fox's predicament), Naruto headed back to Tazuna's house. Unfortunately, the two nins were still going to attack the bridge builder, as it was their job. However… that didn't mean that, should they attack, that Naruto had to let them die.

He cradled the traumatized fox doll in his arms, who was muttering about 'crazy ice bitches' and 'killer hugs of doom', lightly scratching behind the doll's ears as he headed through the forest back to Tazuna's house.

He entered without a sound, before going back to his still-warded room, and slipping in quietly.

* * *

The next day, 8 am…

Naruto awoke to a woman screaming, who sounded oddly like Tsunami. He hopped out of bed, slipping on an identical outfit almost absentmindedly as he picked up the fox plush. He cradled it in one arm as he sprinted down the stairs and out the back door to see an odd sight.

Inari, tears streaming down his face, was charging the two hired pseudo-samurai with nothing but a butcher knife as his protection. Tsunami was currently bound and gagged in between the two men as they leered predatorily at the approaching boy, hands on the sheaths of their swords. Naruto blinked a little at the suicidal boy, wondering if his mother meant so much to him that he'd lay down his life in a futile effort to free her. He gave a slight shrug, before casting a spell that seemed fitting to the situation.

"**Break**."

The single word caused all people to look towards him, his fox doll in hand as his arm was outstretched towards the two samurai. They were about to jeer at him about how his technique didn't work, before they noticed their arms and legs were stiffening. They looked at the boy in pure horror as they felt their entire bodies become stone, the sensation incredibly foreign and terrifying to the mercenaries. Inari and Tsunami just looked on in awe as the two men were petrified, before Tsunami shrieked in fear as Naruto gave both statues a swift kick, turning them to dust. He undid her bindings and gave her a slight smile, before disappearing in a swirl of water.

"Do not feel bad for them, as they deserved every moment of it. Be glad that they only suffered a small amount, for their crimes against the country were grave. Take care of Inari, Tsunami-san."

* * *

At the bridge…

Haku currently had Sasuke trapped within one of her personally created techniques, the **Makyo Hyousho (Demonic Ice Mirrors)**. She was currently reflecting from mirror to mirror, throwing volleys of needles at the boy, trying to avoid killing if she had to. Sakura was protecting Tazuna, and Zabuza was hidden in the mist, fighting zanbato against kunai against Kakashi.

Naruto arrived just as Haku had finally lost her temper at the Uchiha's arrogance, believing that he had won as soon as he had unlocked his dojutsu. To prove him wrong, she threw needles into his neck, sending him into a near-death state. She wasn't quite ready to make her first kill, and she let her technique drop, watching Zabuza's fight with Kakashi.

The blonde appeared next to her, looked at the body of Sasuke riddled with needles, and snickered. He bowed to Haku, stating in a mock-respective tone.

"Haku-dono, I bow to your greatness at shutting up Uchiha-sama."

The girl gave a soft laugh, before taking off her mask to continue watching Zabuza's fight. The nuke-nin was currently winning, though he had a few wounds of his own. Kakashi had a spark of genius, and unrolled a summoning scroll, calling out his technique as he did hand seals and wiped his blood across the kanji.

"**Kuchiyose: Doton: Tsuiga no jutsu! (Summoning: Earth Element: Tracking Fang technique)**"

Multiple summoned nin-dogs disappeared into the ground, before resurfacing underneath Zabuza's feet. They all piled onto him, biting deep into his arms and legs to immobilize him. Haku gave a slight start, as she realized her mentor was in trouble, but Naruto held onto her shoulder firmly, his serious gaze looking slightly less grim due to the fact that he had a fox plush on the top of his head.

"Haku-san, please allow me the honors of screwing up this attempt on your mentor's life. If my senses are correct, Gato is actually heading this way with a large force of mercenaries… and I don't think they're for us. You need to be in top condition, just in case."

With that said, the fox doll hopped down to the ground at the blonde's feet. He concentrated intensely, as Kakashi bragged about his original technique, the air starting to swirl around the blonde as a violet aura erupted to life. He whispered a soft "**Blizzaga**" before his eyes snapped open, the glittering purple orbs focusing intently on a spot just in front of Zabuza.

The air chilled dangerously in that area, before ice crystals started to form at a rapid pace. Zabuza only had an instant to wonder if it was Haku protecting him before the crystals slammed into each other and exploded in growth, creating a four foot thick block of blue ice, blocking Kakashi's piercing jab of the **Chidori (One Thousand Birds)**. The lightning faded from the Copy-nin's hand, as he searched for the source of the ice barrier. Before he could find the source, a sound of mocking clapping resounded through the mist, before Zabuza lifted it to see their audience. Gato, with about three hundred mercenaries, stood at the end of the bridge and was sneering in his direction. The summoned nin-dogs disappeared in a poof of gray smoke as a single senbon needle hit the summoning scroll, destroying the technique and releasing Haku's mentor. Zabuza stood and glared at the wealthy man, asking what he thought he was doing with a force like that.

The arrogant little man replied that, since he and Haku weren't doing their jobs correctly, he was just going to kill them with the Konoha nins, using the mercenary force. Haku bristled at that, before teleporting to her mentor's side with an ice mirror, and running a quick healing technique to start to patch up his wounds. Zabuza looked to Kakashi, who was glaring at the ice wall, and simply stated that his mission was over, and that they didn't need to fight any longer. The man reluctantly nodded, more because he was tired and probably couldn't kill the nuke-nin due to putting so much of his chakra into his attack. Naruto grinned and walked over beside them, the ice shattering and melting back into water before evaporating into the air. The Kyuubi doll was in his arms again as he spoke, shocking the three nins.

"I will take care of them. Kakashi, you go tend to Sasuke, as he's in a near death state due to senbon needles, and Sakura's currently bawling her eyes out over his corpse. I also think she's going to try to embalm his body and keep it as some sort of souvenir or something, so you might want to hurry."

The Jounin looked up in shock and fear, before sprinting over to his student's side. Zabuza and Haku were snickering at the thought, and Naruto shocked both them and the doll in his arms. He gave them a true, warm smile, and extended a hand in a peaceful gesture towards them both.

"Allow me to do this, for while I'm not sure I quite get the concept, I do believe I want to protect you both. I suppose you could say you both have earned my respect, and have been added to my short list of 'precious people'?"

Before waiting for a reply, he strode gracefully to the center of the bridge, about thirty feet away from the bloodthirsty mob of mercenaries. He set the toy down at his feet, and a dark purple aura flared to life around him. His hair started to rise from the energy gathered, billowing out behind him as the wind picked up. The mob of villagers who had come to the bridge, as well as Sakura, Kakashi, Zabuza, Haku, and the newly revived Sasuke looked on in awe at the sight, as the aura darkened more and started to glow brighter. The teen spoke, his voice a chilling monotone as he gazed in clear disdain at the mercenaries, before he raised his arms above his head.

"Your arrogance and greed sicken me. Prepare yourselves, for I will show no mercy."

The greedy little midget laughed at this, asking what a 'girly boy' would be able to do to him and his well paid mercenaries. The doll came to life, its tails flicking to and fro in a hypnotic manner, though hidden to those behind the blonde due to the position of his feet. Most of the mercenaries stepped back in fear at the sight, however, but were unable to escape as a single word was murmured loud enough for all to hear, before both the blonde's arms descended.

"**Ultima**."

The scenery descended into darkness for all, not just those caught by the spell. Odd flickers of light flashed brightly, before they condensed around the mob of mercenaries led by Gato. They formed a sphere, before condensing and brightening. Finally, an explosion of power erupted from the center, blinding everyone with a bright white light as shockwaves of energy ripped every last one of them apart before disintegrating the remains, and then the darkness receded. The bridge was, astonishingly enough, unharmed, though it was marred by the blood of hundreds having been spilled by the spell.

All the onlookers had their jaws touching the floor from the raw destructive power of that one attack, before the boy scooped up the plush doll and turned to face them. He gave a slight shrug, and said 'they deserved it' before walking off.

* * *

The next day…

They were just about ready to leave, when Haku approached Naruto with a slight smile on her face, and whispered in his ear. The blonde visibly brightened, and actually gave the woman a hug, nearly scaring the poor doll on his head out of his wits. The ice user then teleported away through an ice mirror, and left with Zabuza to continue wandering. When questioned later, the blonde would say 'she gave me a hint on something'.

On the way back to Konoha, however, they ran into a bit of trouble.

As they stepped out into the same clearing that Naruto and Zabuza ravaged in their water fight, two presences made themselves known by stepping out of the tree line. One was a rather tall, bulky shark-like man, with blue tinged skin, dark blue hair, gill markings on his face, and a bandaged object on his back. He also had a slashed Mist hitai-ate The second, however, was quite recognizable.

He was shorter than his companion by about a head, yet carried himself with grace, and an air of indifference. His hair was long and black, tied back in a ponytail falling in between his shoulder blades. He had two markings on either sides of his nose, like diagonal slashes. They looked, oddly enough, like bags under his eyes. What really sparked the familiarity were two red eyes, each with three tomoe spinning around them in a hypnotic manner. The slashed Konoha hitai-ate was what sealed the deal; this man was Uchiha Itachi. The two both had bamboo hats with strips of cloth dangling from them in their hands, bells tied to the ends of the cloth jingling a little with each movement.

Naruto, seeing a chance to forever piss off his teammate, and possibly find out what two S-class nuke-nin wanted at the same time, decided to do something he would never have even dreamed of in a normal situation. He looked at Itachi, who stared emotionlessly back, before looking at Sasuke. He then struck a thinking pose, with the doll situated on his head. Quickly drumming up his courage, he did the unthinkable. He squealed in a perfect imitation of a fangirl, causing everyone to look at him like he lost his mind. He quickly schooled his face into that of a love struck fangirl, and turned to Sasuke, stars in his eyes.

"You never told me you had an evil older brother!"

This, of course, caused Sasuke to break out of his shock and yell "ITACHI!" before charging his elder brother, who simply backhanded him across the face without even looking, knocking him out and slamming him into a tree. Kakashi, worried about the Uchiha heir's health, rushed to his side, along with Sakura. Naruto regained his composure, though the doll on his head had to be moved to his arms to stifle the hilarious laughter emanating from it. Naruto walked forward slowly and nodded politely to them both.

"So… I'm guessing you two needed something with me? By the cloaks with the pretty red clouds, I suppose you're Akatsuki?"

They both nodded, a little shocked and afraid of his rapid 'mood swing', and Itachi was having issues repressing his 'fangirl sense', as the blonde had dredged up bad memories. As his team was currently indisposed with caring for a knocked out Sasuke, he shrugged and asked the obvious question:

"What do you need?"

Itachi was the one who spoke, stepping forward a little and settling his unnerving gaze on Naruto's purple eyes. His voice was soft, but carried a tone of authority to it.

"We need you to come with us, Naruto-kun, as we are interested in your bijuu."

The blonde lifted one eyebrow, before holding the plush toy out in his hands. Itachi looked at it for a second, before lifting his own eyebrow in silent question. Naruto decided to elaborate for the slightly confused elder Uchiha.

"I had him sealed into this doll when I was three. If you're going to take him somewhere, I'm coming with you. He gets pissed when I'm not there, as I control his youki usage."

Kisame started to snicker at this, and Itachi's lip started to twitch as if he wanted to laugh. The plush doll, however, didn't find this funny at all, and flicked his fluffy tails in agitation.

"There's no way I'm going anywhere without the brat. I'm having too much fun being his weapon of mass destruction, damnit!"

Kisame looked over at Itachi, barely muffling his laughter at the 'great Kyuubi no Kitsune' sealed into a squishy plush toy. Itachi looked back at him, and nodded, before turning back to Naruto.

"We may have to come back after speaking to our leader about this… he may want you to join Akatsuki. We only wanted the power of the bijuu's by extracting them from the Jinchuuriki, but since yours is sealed in this doll, I suppose we could maybe use you as a member… provided you wish to join."

The blonde cradled the doll in his arm for a moment, before placing it back on his head and tapping his chin. His answer, however, caused Kisame to fall flat on his face.

"Will I get to wear an awesome hat like yours? And maybe get a smaller one made for Kyuubi?"

Itachi actually seemed to smirk at this, before nodding. He then said 'Come, Kisame.' before they both disappeared in a puff of black smoke. By now, Kakashi and Sakura had ascertained that Sasuke was going to be alright, and came back into the clearing, unconscious boy cradled in Kakashi's arms. At Kakashi's question of 'where did they go', Naruto just shrugged and said 'dunno'. The gray haired man didn't think to question the blonde further, and started off at a faster pace to Konoha to get 'Uchiha-sama' to a hospital.

Naruto jumped to the trees, taking the faster route to Konoha, as he held an in depth discussion with his doll. They both reached a decision, just as they came through Konoha's gates. He disappeared in a swirl of lightning, shocking all the villagers nearby who never saw a **Shunshin **like that, and further scaring them when it echoed in a resounding 'boom' of thunder.

* * *

In the Hokage's office…

Naruto had appeared while the Hokage was just about to take a paper off the top of the stack of his paperwork, and the lightning elemental **Shunshin**'s thunder caused him to stumble, knocking the stack over onto the floor. The aged man glared heavily at the evil paper, before addressing the boy in his office.

"Naruto-kun, you're back early. Was there something wrong with the mission?"

The blonde shook his head, and told the Sandaime all about the mission, including that they encountered two Akatsuki members who wanted to take him away, before making up some story that he had distracted them. It was a half truth, damnit. The aged man bought it, however, and adopted a grim look on his face.

"This is grave news indeed…"

Naruto adopted an exaggerated thinking pose, before seeming to wonder aloud.

"I dunno, I may have to ask about joining them. They have these _awesome _hats…"

The Hokage, nicknamed 'God of Shinobi' and 'The Professor'...fainted.

* * *

Author's Note: Those hats really are awesome. Truly. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	4. Meeting Gai, and Kakashi's Mask

Author's Note: It has come to my attention that some people may be confused about what his spells do, so I will describe his existing ones to the best of my ability.

**Water/Fire/Blizzard/Thunder/Aero/Quake**: Basically, it's a small amount of control over a bit of the raw element of water/fire/ice/lightning/wind/earth respectively. He can do whatever the hell he wants with the given amount of the element, though.

**-ra** as in **Watera/Fira/Blizzara/Thundara/Aerora/Quakera**: More 'mass', I guess, of the element to work with, meaning more destruction can be caused with these variations of the spells. Can be used however he wants.

**-aga **as in **Waterga/Firaga/Blizzaga/Thundaga/Aeroga/Quakega**: Even more 'mass' to work with, and can be manipulated to however the hell he wants it to be manipulated.

**-ja **as in **Waterja/Firaja/Blizzaja/Thundaja/Aeroja/Quakeja**: The ultimate in mass destruction, gives a rather large amount of the element to be manipulated in whatever fashion Naruto wants to manipulate it in. I will write out what he's doing with the particular spell when he casts it, as he can do anything from splash council members with a **Waterja **to creating tidal waves. Similarly, he could use **Water **as a form of **Suiro no Jutsu (Water Prison Technique) **to trap people in a bubble of water, or he could just slam them with a wave, so it's up to the situation.

**Break**: Petrifying spell. It literally turns the target's body into stone, and they can be shattered quite easily. Cannot be used on powerful enemies, as their chakra will fight off the change of the body. Plus, it's too much like an 'I win' button. However, I might use it for plot twists and bashing fun, but it won't ever be used in a heavy combat situation. The two ANBU caught in it were too surprised at the teenager turning the tables on an ANBU ambush to fight off the effects.

**Bio**: A mass of non elemental green… goo, I suppose… that can be imbued with special poisons to leech into the target's blood stream to infect them. Similarly, a fusion of **Bio **and **Break **was used to infuse the goo with the Petrifying abilities of **Break**, allowing Naruto to petrify two people who weren't in his line of sight, due to the fact that they were holding onto his hair, which he used to channel this spell. Their surprise at the appearance of the spell allowed them to fall victim to the petrify, as they were too preoccupied to try to fight off the change.

**Flare**: Single-target non elemental highly powerful destructive spell, though it looks like it is the fire element. A swirl of fire sinks into the ground below them, before exploding in a column of orange-white fire. After writing that description, I may have to change how it looks if I use it again, since it really does sound like fire.

**Ultima**: Widespread non elemental destruction. Very, very powerful and not used unless there is nothing else to cause collateral damage. It is also very traumatizing to viewers, as the energy literally rips the enemies to pieces, before destroying the remains, leaving only their spilt blood behind.

**Death**: I may or may not give this to Naruto, as it seems too much like an 'I win' button. If I do give it to him, it'll have heavy circumstances to be allowed to use it, like the person has to be near death and too weak to resist. Basically, it removes the soul of the target, and kills them instantly.

**Toad**: Temporarily changes the target into a harmless little frog. It's fun for terrorizing citizens with the Kyuubi doll. Similar to the **Break** effects, chakra fights off the change, but Kakashi was too surprised that his student was attacking him to fight it off, and then too terrified of the doll to try to use chakra.

**Sleep**: Puts the target into a near-coma state of deep sleep, where only special techniques or viciously physical attacking them will wake them up. It'll wear off after eight hours or so, just like petrify, as Naruto hasn't fully mastered his magic to the point where it's permanent… yet. It works like a Genjutsu, so people can dispel it before it fully takes hold if they try hard enough, though it's considerably harder to dispel as it was cast with Mana, not chakra.

Will write more spells if I have him create new ones, though some will just be fusions of others, like **Bio-Break**. As I'm trying to make them make sense, it'll usually have both spell names in the fusion spell's name, or something alluding to them both and their level of power, so that I don't have to do another list.

Reviews!

**HarbringerLady**: It was mostly spur of the moment, as it started off as a plot bunny that raped my mind. However, after I thought about it, she seemed like a good character to mentor Naruto.

**Vilkath**: I totally agree with you. You'll have to read to find out, though, what happens of course. Personally, I don't think Naruto would be able to stay in Akatsuki forever, as he would eventually get bored, and a bored Naruto is a potentially destructive Naruto.

**Mrbiggs132**: Thank you.

**Shadow Zeranion**: Yes...those hats are mighty enticing... I'm sure Sasuke must have thought the purple ass-bows of Sound were mighty enticing as well, and secretly had that as one of his excuses for defecting in canon.

**AnsemMesna**: Their hats are awesome. 'nuff said.

**ryu megaverse**: I try to update every two days or so, this one was a little later as I waited for my muse to show up and smack me upside the head with something off-canon to happen in the storyline.

**Rei Tamashii**: THE FOON?! You shall never match the might of my spork, no matter how interesting your fork-spoon hybrid is! Chocobos would be interesting... perhaps he could use his 'unique' training regime to recreate them? For more information on said training regime, see chapter below. As for Orochi-pedo... hm... I suppose. Also, Lina Inverse rocks, or so I've heard. I should probably watch Slayers, as I haven't ever seen it. Plus, I read a pretty interesting fanfiction about how Inner Sakura was really the reincarnation of Lina, and it turned out quite well until they kinda... went on permanent hiatus. I'm afraid if I watch it, though, I'll create some goddamn plotbunny of Lina Inverse in Naruto-world.

**saiyan prince1**: I'm glad you like it. POWER TO THE HATS!

**kiraille**: Yes, but the Sandaime doesn't know that. His voice is nearly always deadpan, so its hard to tell when he's being sarcastic unless he willingly puts some sort of inflection on his speech.

**Saetan**: I update when I can.

**KunoichiDreamer**: Thank you!

**Hakkyou no Yami**: I always wanted to see what would happen if Naruto went into fan girl mode, or imitated one. It would've been hilarious in canon. I decided that, since he's usually indifferent like Itachi, the mood swing would be good for the story.

**shadowzerover5**: Yeah... dark Naruto fics tend to completely reconstruct his personality. I think I did that, too, though I gave a pretty good reason for it. However, he has an undying love for chaos and discord when it comes to people he doesn't like, and will degrade himself to squealing to cause it, should he be required. I believe he's a deviant little bastard at heart, and having a decent relationship with the Kyuubi, a kitsune who are always pranksters, would only enhance that.

**Requiem of Solace**: I remember I read one fic where Zabuza was afflicted with the Frying Pan Curse of his family, where he would get attacked by frying pans at inopportune moments. He also was the victim of quite a few Frying Pan Assaults from Tsunami, as she was a renowned user of the Frying Pan as a weapon. I wish I could remember the fic, as I found it hilarious.

**RookRaven**: I'll do my best.

**de-raz-bomber**: Ehh... I'll think about it. But I'm heavily leaning towards no-pairing, as I want this to have less focus on romancing, more focus on blasting things. Good ideas, though, and thank you.

**WhatDoYouMeanI'mDrunk**: A lot of those "Naruto joins Akatsuki" stories all begin with "Naruto gets banished for failing to recapture Sasuke/for harming Sasuke while capturing him" and then he all of a sudden realizes that "Konoha fucked me over constantly!" before heading off to join Akatsuki who have the best of the best to train him. Then he just becomes super powerful and it has a very steady decline into the drain from there. Also, thank you!

**sniper757**: The seal is still bound to Naruto's soul, so it would have to be something more than just cutting up the doll. I think of it as this: If the plush toy is destroyed, the spirit as well as youki of Kyuubi return to Naruto's body before he reseals it within another doll. The **Shiki Fuuin** basically bound them together for life and death, so its impossible to destroy the seal without killing one of them, which kills the other. The way its set up now is just like sticking the fox on a leash and letting him out, though they are still connected. If you remember, Kyuubi was viciously attacked by Lulu for commenting on her dress, and Naruto had to re-sew him together after she was done.

**ZaBuChar**: You have asked, and you have received the list you requested. Nice idea, but like I said before, no pairing. Thanks, though.

**Atrumfides**: I'm just awesome like that. In reality, I have tons of free time, and an active imagination, so I sit down and write out chapters in like four hours... but I give them a day or two in between so that people can read them, as well as get new ideas. Also, Naruto/Rikku would be quite interesting... well, this one wouldn't, as they would be polar opposites. If Naruto was like he was in canon... well... sans the stupidity and the orange... he would make quite the bouncing ball of sunshine to pair with Rikku.

**griffin blackwood**: Thank you!

**SpunkyHellKitty**: I try to update when I can.

**wingsofeagle**: As would I.

**Talonspike**: Thanks.

**vynya-galad**: Why thank you! I always wanted to stick it to the annoying council, as well as his teammates. As for his outfit... hm... if you want a better idea of what it looks like (as I can't draw worth shit) just think Kuja's shirt from FF9, with standard black shinobi pants that ride a bit low on his hips. I was really, incredibly, horribly tempted to give Naruto Kuja's outfit, and I was going to if it was going to be a yaoi story. I don't think any straight man would wear a purple thong, or a weird skirt thing...

Enjoy the chapter!

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Spell/Jutsu"**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, FFX, Lulu, or any of FFX's or Naruto's characters.

* * *

Meeting Gai, and Kakashi's Mask

Naruto had decided that enough was enough.

He was going to take something so dangerous, so incredibly risky, that not even the Hokage could classify it as a mission.

Many shinobi have asked for it as a mission when they were feeling suicidal, and not even the Hokage would force them to suffer the fate of those who failed. He sent them on standard high profile assassination missions instead, as then their deaths would make the target more arrogant about their bodyguard system, making them more susceptible to real assassinations.

The mission Naruto had in mind would shake Orochimaru to the core at how impossible and daunting the task seemed. The man created a probable way of immortality, but this… this was too much for even him!

He was going to…

Find out what the fuck Kakashi's face looked like.

If Naruto's theory was correct, this would be the ultimate in blackmail material. He had hypothesized that either his Hatake's face looked absolutely marvelous, and he could threaten to spread the photos around, or the man looked hideous behind that blue facemask, and didn't want to feel ashamed of his looks. His final theory, though plausible, was highly unlikely. Perhaps the man had an incredibly unmanly tattoo on his face?

Either way, that god damn mask was going to go.

After relaying his mission to his doll, the plush's eyes had widened and mumbled a 'you're too young to die' before yelling at him in the privacy of his own home.

"I'm the fucking Kyuubi no Kitsune and even I'm afraid of the consequences of failing that mission!"

The Black Mage gave a grave nod, before making one of the most potentially suicidal decisions of his life, with an even higher fatality risk than disguising yourself as Uchiha Itachi at the Annual Fan People Convention, based in Wave Country. Those fiends would rip you apart, just wanting to have a piece of Itachi. He had heard that someone made a fortune by somehow managing to gain a hair from his eyebrow before, and he shuddered to think of what vital organs would sell for.

"I don't care. I will finish this mission, and I will be alive at the end of it. That man's face shall be shown!"

And so started what would later be renowned throughout the Elemental Countries as the time when a fifteen year old Genin defied fate itself and attempted the SSS-class mission of unmasking Hatake Kakashi.

He quickly packed a bag with things needed for this mission: clothing, a high definition camera, and his plush toy, which was safely situated on his head. He tied back his bright blonde hair, and used raw Mana manipulation to alter the appearance of it, giving it a dull black color that seemed to absorb all light.

He was absolutely ready; however, Kyuubi was gnawing on his stuffed fingernails in fear of what would happen should they fail. He wanted to get one thing off his chest before they set out.

"If anything happens to you, I wanted to tell you that you're like the son/apprentice/sibling I never had, and I'm proud that you inherited my sadism and fighting spirit. I also wanted to let you know that, when you see Lulu on the other side, to tell her I hate her for calling me "Fluffy", but I love her for giving you weapons of mass destruction, me included, at your fingertips."

The Black Mage was quite surprised at the fear his doll was showing, and gave the fox a few belly scratches. He contemplated what he was going to say before shrugging, deciding that if he was captured or failed this mission, he was probably going to die anyway, and might as well say it. He gave the doll a warm smile, and answered.

"Kyuubi-kun… I wanted to tell you that I'm thankful that I had a companion like you throughout most of my life. You're the greatest doll I could have wished for, and I'm actually quite glad you were sealed inside me. If not, I may have fallen to the lies and deceit of this village, and become yet another mindless drone willing to throw their lives away for the decrepit Council."

With that said, he gave the fox doll a reassuring hug, before setting out. He swore he would complete this mission and come out alive.

* * *

Konoha streets…

Nobody really noticed a flicker of black as it weaved its way through the crowd, hopping from shadow to shadow so as to not arouse suspicion. Every now and then a speck of red or purple would appear along with the black, but it would be gone so quickly it was as if it never existed. The figure was searching all over for the elusive Jounin who he was sure had the day off for the day, and he was determined to find him.

He checked high and low, near and far, and even checked though the Hokage tower, and asked the aged man where he could find Hatake.

The Hokage had given him a quizzical look, before he elaborated.

"I'm determined to see underneath that mask. Rumor states that not even Hyuugas can look under it."

Sarutobi's eyes widened in shock, before his voice broke the silence.

"Are you mad?! Nobody ever came back alive and unharmed after those missions! They all failed horribly!"

The Black Mage nodded, pure determination sparkling through his odd eyes.

"I know and I'm well aware, but I'm positive that I will be the one to find out what's underneath that mask. If only to get some blackmail on the Jounin."

Sarutobi sighed wearily, knowing he would be unable to dissuade the blonde, temporarily raven haired, teen. His thoughts ran rampant on the subject as he seemed to age decades as he contemplated what to do, before he nodded, mostly to himself.

"You can find him at the memorial stone. He's usually there."

Naruto gave the man a slight salute, before disappearing in a black void, leaving no trace behind. The Sandaime leaned back in his chair, sending his prayers with the young man who seemed to be doomed. A thought broke through his reverent silence, startling him.

'_What the hell am I going to tell Jiraiya when he asks where Naruto is so that he can train him? My student can't train someone who's dead! Damnit, this means more paperwork!'_

* * *

At the memorial stone…

The Black Mage landed soundlessly on a tree branch, studying his gray haired sensei with a wary eye. The man wouldn't be that bad, if he didn't have that retarded grudge against him. Well, that's not entirely true… as he was still a hypocrite who didn't follow his own saying of 'Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash'… and he was a dishonorable thief… Come to think of it, wasn't he rivals with Maito Gai, the taijutsu specialist? He almost shuddered to think of how many taijutsu styles he 'learned inexplicably quickly' throughout his career from sparring matches with the eccentric spandex-loving jounin.

'_Poor man. Not even his extreme amounts of youthfulness can save him from the Sharingan. Did I just refer to that as youthfulness? Fuck. I need to quit spending time around Konoha, that spandex virus is starting to infect me.'_

He gave a violent shudder when he thought of what he would look like in green spandex, before a devilish glint lit up his eyes. He kept his voice as a soft murmur as he whispered conspiratorially with his plush toy, whose eyes widened in the pure deviance of what the teen was saying. The fox broke out into a maniacal grin, his tails twitching in anticipation as they refined their mission objectives a little, and disappeared to make accommodations.

* * *

Gai's living quarters…

Naruto found it actually quite easy to disable the traps and alarm systems on Gai's apartment, guessing that the man really didn't have that many enemies wanting to kill him. Or, more likely, they were too afraid of what his living quarters would be, should his eccentric ways be any indicator of how his entire life would be.

The taijutsu master really did have a rather… odd… internal designer. More likely, the man declared having an internal designer (as well as fashion sense) as 'unyouthful' and did it all himself. The walls of his apartment were painted in the exact shade of green as his spandex suit, and had hundreds of weights stacked all around the walls in varying densities, anything from a tiny weight that weighed forty pounds, obviously to slip into a weight belt, to weights designed for lifting, a bit less dense than the tinier ones. There were a few books in a bookshelf, mainly on muscle training theory or taijutsu exercises.

There was a sheaf of papers on top of a desk along with a reading light. He walked over on silent footsteps as he read over the title, and realized that Gai was actually writing a book. A training manual, to be exact, on the uses of the Celestial gates, as well as their pros and cons. However, it suggested to constantly wear a green spandex bodysuit as one of the precursors to the training regime, and the title was a bit… off.

"You and Your Youthfulness! A Guide to the Springtime of Youth: Using the Celestial Body Gates by Maito Gai"

The doll on his head shuddered heavily as he thought of all the impressionable children that could be corrupted by this book-in-progress. Naruto, however, thought it was a rather nice gesture of the man, although done a bit… oddly. He obviously had quite a bit of knowledge on what he was doing, if all these detailed notes on the how each and every Gate effects someone meant something. He supposed the shiny bowl cut, green spandex suit, and incredibly sparkly teeth were just a quirk of the taijutsu master, and shrugged it off. Most Jounins had something to deal with the stress of killing people for money, and he couldn't fault them for the different ways that they chose to express it.

He continued on his search, finally finding the man's closet. He opened the door with a feeling of intense dread, almost horrified of what might be hidden within. After he fully opened the door, he almost fell to the floor in shock of what he was seeing.

Gai had normal clothing!

Not just any normal clothing, but actual _stylish _normal clothing!

Sure there were around four spandex body suits, as the man obviously had great hygiene (if the absolutely _luminous_ teeth were anything to go by), but the rest of the closet was full of great clothing. The doll actually fell off his head in pure awe at the spectacle, but he was able to catch the plush toy before he impacted with the floor. Quickly deciding that his respect at the spandex clad Jounin raised several notches, he crossed off one of the routes to go about his new plan with Hatake. He refused to steal from this man, as he obviously A) had some sort of dignity, as he had normal clothing, B) had great pride in his work, and wanted to pass it on to others who he couldn't manually teach, and C) damn he wanted to learn how to make his teeth that shiny.

He set off towards Training Ground 27, where he knew Team 9 was training, intent on asking the Jounin a question or two.

* * *

Training Ground 27, about 11 am…

Naruto appeared within a swirl of snow, shocking the ninja team there. He had been working on his ice manipulation, after being given the hint by Haku, and was able to make a **Shunshin **out of it, much to his delight. A little known fact about Naruto is that he really loves his different teleportation techniques, and strives to come up with new ones to offset the standard 'smoke' or 'swirl of leaves' that everyone else in Konoha does.

Gai regarded the newcomer warily, as Naruto had dropped the weave of Mana over his hair once he changed his mind about stealing from the spandex Jounin.

The taijutsu master had heard about his eternal rival, Kakashi's, eccentric student, but hearing and seeing are two different things. Firstly, the boy obviously was quite advanced, as he had not only had a _flawless _**Shunshin**, but he was able to interchange elemental effects with it. The boy also displayed exemplary control, as well as multiple elemental affinities, and showed that he was completely unbiased, and reactionary in any of the situations he was placed in. He decided to give the teen the benefit of the doubt, and disregarded the fox plush doll on his head, having seen odder things in his time of being a ninja.

Tenten, the weapons mistress, was quite intrigued with the newcomer. She had heard from several loose tongued ninja around the village that there was a 'blonde haired demon' walking around, but she couldn't see anything wrong with Yamanaka Ino (aside from the banshee squealing and fan girl-ism), so this was the only other person with blonde hair, sans the Yamanaka clan, in the village. She inspected him, her incredible eyesight (gained from years of throwing different weapons for perfect accuracy with any given weapon, whether it was meant to be a projectile or no) taking in almost unnoticeable details.

The teen was obviously fit, if the toned stomach meant anything, though he didn't have the 'bulk', as she called it, of her teammate Lee or her sensei, Gai. His muscles were lean and wiry, lending him to flexibility and evasion, as well as precision based combat instead of heavy hand to hand combat. His long, golden blonde hair looked to be... not uncared for, but definitely not high on his priority list. She oddly wondered that, if he had long hair but didn't worship it like others do, why he kept it at that length. She pushed that thought to the side, as she continued her observation.

The blonde's rather odd eyes had the weirdest shade of purple, and she had seen weird shades of purple before. Her teammate, Hyuuga Neji, had nearly white purple eyes, and the entirety of the Hyuuga clan had some shade of lavender for eyes. This teen's eyes were an almost jewel-like shade of amethyst, and looked quite… shielded… from the outside world. He showed no emotion on his noble-looking face, but didn't give off an air of superiority like the Uchiha or Hyuuga. He simply seemed… neutral. His clothing seemed a little odd, with wide, flowing sleeves, as well as revealing his stomach, and the way his shinobi pants rode low on his hips, but she was used to odd clothing. Her eyes also rested on the Kyuubi doll on his head, which she could've sworn gave her a smile when she finished her inspection, but she convinced herself it was just a doll.

Lee was beaming a grin worthy of Gai himself, wondering how this newcomer could appear without so much as a hint of his approach, something that should have made him quite wary. However, he simply saw it as a possible partner for sparring.

Neji gave the teen a glare, his Inner Neji screaming inside his head about how he spent so much time making his dark brown hair as silky and shiny as it is, but this… _newcomer_… had even better hair than he! He was about to go into his brooding mode, with angst levels clearly surpassing that of the last Uchiha, when he realized that the boy didn't even seem to care about his own appearance, as if his hair was just… naturally perfect. This, of course, pushed his angst levels to much higher than normal, causing the grass around him to wilt and decay.

Breaking the awkward silence, Naruto decided that he would be polite and… not blunt for once, as he was still trying to ascertain if his respect for the green-clad Jounin was placed well.

"Hello, Gai-san. Please forgive me for my sudden intrusion, but… I was wondering, since Hatake-san seems to be busy either brooding over the memorial stone, or training the Uchiha when he thinks nobody is looking, if I might observe how a real team interacts. I arrived in Konoha on the day of the Genin exam, and, though I am a newcomer, I am quite sure my team is not exactly… satisfactory… in teamwork."

Gai was notably surprised, as the stories he had heard from Kakashi always detailed the teen to be a 'wolf in sheep's skin', as it were. The gray haired Jounin was positive his student's animated doll was either the Kyuubi, or he himself was the Kyuubi. Speaking of the doll… it was noticeably inanimate at the moment, and he was curious as to how the blonde manipulated it, wondering if perhaps it was a form of the **Kugutsu (Puppetry) **technique. Adopting a rare serious face, the Jounin nodded a bit before responding.

"Sure thing, Naruto-san. May I ask a question first?"

The blonde gave the man a slight twitch of his lips, and only Gai and Tenten's eyes caught the movement on the normally immobile face. Using their experience with Neji, a stoic, yet arrogant, Hyuuga, they realized the blonde was giving a slight impression of… acceptance? Before they could ponder more, the enigmatic teen had answered.

"Of course, Gai-san. What would you like to know?"

The spandex clad Jounin tried to think of a way to phrase his question without it seeming too… blunt… or biased. He finally decided that he might as well just ask the question without flowery language, getting the impression that the teen's mind tended to rip apart what people say to find exactly what they're asking regardless.

"I have heard… stories… about how you fight. I was wondering how if it was true that you animate your doll, and if so, how you are able to do so? From what Kakashi said, it seemed as if there were no chakra strings to be a **Kugutsu**, making it quite an interesting ability."

Tenten, Lee, and Neji were shocked at this, and the doll on the boy's head seemed to nod appraisingly at the Jounin. The blonde struck a slight thinking pose, as if deciding whether to answer or not. Finally deciding that the green clad man hadn't done anything to irritate him yet, he might as well give him the same answer he gave Haku.

"I have a rare bloodline that gives me extreme elemental control, as well as allowing me to animate inanimate objects. Fortunately for me, yet unfortunately for Hatake-san, his Sharingan was unable to copy any of my abilities when he decided he would try to… inspect them without my knowledge when I was engaged in a water battle with a nuke-nin on our C-rank mission."

Gai was immediately suspicious of this ability, as he wasn't just a taijutsu fanatic. He found many interesting things when he researched ancient taijutsu styles, and one of the things he had heard was the stories of a fabled set of warriors who used elemental techniques without hand seals, and tended to use something to help channel their energy. Most notably, they used staves, rods, or… dolls. He was also shocked at the lack of honor his 'eternal rival' had shown, attempting to steal techniques from one of his own students. While his three students seemed shocked at the 'bloodline' the boy had, he decided to ask another question before basing his opinions.

"Naruto-san, would you agree to a spar with me so that I might see how this bloodline works in battle? I have to admit it perked my interests, and it would be helpful for my students to increase their youthfulness while watching such an interesting fighting style!"

The serious face of the spandex man seemed to slip a little at the last bit, causing Naruto's lips to twitch once again. The doll on his head seemed to be holding back a snicker, if Gai's eyes could read the movements correctly. The blonde tapped an index finger to his chin, before pulling the doll off his head and setting it on the ground, where it stood stock still.

"As you wish, Gai-san. Hand-to-hand, doll-to-hand, or full out combat?"

The Jounin, seeing a chance to see each aspect of the supposed bloodline, decided on a hidden option.

"How about hand-to-hand first, then doll-to-hand, then all out combat? Most people with bloodlines will focus solely on the bloodline abilities, and neglect their other talents, and if your bloodline is how you say it is, I would expect you to be a bit shoddy with your taijutsu. Perhaps I could help you with it?"

Naruto gave a slight smirk as he realized what the Jounin was playing at. The odd man seemed to actually have a hint of what he actually was, and he had to admit his respect grew from the observance. He wondered where he might have come across the information… but if he was correct, the man must try to revive ancient taijutsu styles, and may have come across Black Mages mentioned in history. He nodded his head politely and assumed a stance, which he could tell from the man's slight widening of his eyes that he recognized it.

Gai indeed recognize it. It was a truly ancient hand to hand style, the name lost to the history books, and he had been studying it for the past few months as its potential was quite large. It encompassed flexibility, evasion, deflection, and precise strikes meant to cause intense pain to aggravate and cripple opponents. It required such immense training and flexibility that it was nearly impossible to copy it, however, and made it quite good against Sharingan users as they couldn't fight your style with the same style, unless they wanted to hurt themselves in the attempt. Gai shifted into his Goken (Strong Fist) stance, and his Genin team moved to the trees. The two stood there for what seemed like hours, before a single leaf fluttered from a tree, and they sprang into action.

The doll, sensing it wasn't needed quite yet, hopped up into the trees with the Genin team, scaring them a bit (though Neji wouldn't admit it) and hopped into Tenten's lap, watching the fight.

Gai was quite surprised, as the boy seemed that he had trained in this style for over a decade, as he fluidly dodged, deflected, and blocked his powerful kicks and punches. The boy's pure flexibility surprised him, as it matched even with the body augmentations that Orochimaru used, though he was sure the boy had nothing of the sort done to him. He nearly marveled at the flexibility as the boy twisted his spine at an unhealthy angle, dodging a kick to his midsection, and delivering swift jabs to the insides of his thighs, as well as the sides of his knees, in turn. Gai wasn't a Jounin for nothing, however, and he was able to swiftly slam the lancing pain that was trying to disorient him out of his mind, concentrating on getting a good spar out of this.

The two continued their taijutsu spar for about ten minutes, each giving as good as they got, though neither took it too far. It was merely a spar to compare styles, so Gai didn't remove his weights or open gates. If he had, he would've won purely by how much more experience he had in the realm of taijutsu. They both separated, breathing lightly. Gai had some swiftly purpling bruises from the accurate strikes of the Black Mage, while the blonde had a cracked rib or two, as well as quite a few bruises of his own, quite a bit bigger than Gai's. The doll hopped out of Tenten's lap, and jumped into Naruto's arms, who looked strangely satisfied at having a challenge to fight. Gai was the one who spoke first, his serious façade crumbling underneath the exuberance of finding someone who had successfully revived such an ancient style.

"YOSH! Naruto-kun, your youthfulness burns brightly! I have only heard legends of that style, and that it was incredibly dangerous to train in! How is it that you were able to use that style to its fullest?"

The blonde's stoic demeanor lifted a little, and a sad smile tugged at the edges of his lips, startling observant viewers.

"I was taught by my caretaker and mentor from when I was three, to when I was fourteen. She had insisted that, since my bloodline is range-oriented, that I have a solid foundation in evading hand-to-hand combat, while making sure that I would be well defended should I be unable to escape close range."

Gai nodded his head a little, his youthfulness slipping back into the next place, as he was getting quite excited at this fight.

"She must have been quite a youthful woman, Naruto-kun. YOSH! Onto the next part! Doll-to-hand combat! Send it at me with as much as you have, Naruto-kun!"

The spandex wearing Jounin could have sworn he felt a malicious smirk coming from the doll, and the blonde nodded, his indifferent demeanor back into place. A pale violet aura flickered to life behind Naruto, as he backflipped away, dropping the doll in mid air. The doll sprang to life, sprinting towards Gai at near Jounin-level speeds and shocking the man slightly. He started to dodge as many of the attacks as he could, dishing a few kicks back when he could, though the nine tails, as well as the sharp plush teeth, left very few gaps in the offense. Each of the tails caused crater-like dents in the ground, startling all but Naruto and the doll itself at the power packed within the doll, and causing the Jounin to regard it with a bit of caution.

Naruto, as Kyuubi was fully in control of his own movement for the fight, was wondering if he could give the Jounin a better fight with the doll. It was quite small… too small to fight effectively, and obviously the man wanted to inspect how the doll could fight. He thought about it for a little, before he grinned as he remembered something he had heard from Lulu back when they were training.

'_The only limits to Black Magic are your imagination. However, Black Magic can never delve into the realm of healing, as that is governed by White Magic. No Black Magic spell has the possibility of healing, but aside from that, the possibilities of endless. When you want to create your own spells, you must think of what you want them to do, before opening your mind to the possibilities to meet those ends. Allow your instinct to guide you, but always make sure that you are able to guide your instinct, as well.'_

He started to meditate for a moment, before the answer popped into his mind. The violet aura flared to life around him, darkening a little as he started to fabricate the spell. Gai noticed this, and wondered what the boy was doing, when the doll stopped in place as if frozen.

Kyuubi, feeling the spell starting to affect him, had stopped and wondered what the boy was up to now. As the ground sped further and further away from his muzzle, he realized. The boy was making him grow, so as to give his opponent a better advantage! He could almost chuckle in delight at this, as he never really liked having an underhanded advantage… his attack on Konoha a notable exception…

The doll was around four feet tall now, about five feet from nose to tail base, and each tail was about six feet long. The observing Genins were quite shocked, as was Gai. Naruto could have cackled in glee at how his spell worked, before speaking loud enough for Team 9 to hear him.

"I felt that the doll's small stature was an unfair advantage for me, Gai-san, so I decided to try to increase its size. Now you can fight it effectively, however, it will be more powerful at the cost of the small target and nimble efficiency it had before."

The Jounin nodded, in slight awe of what the teen was able to do, before continuing the fight. The doll really was quite a bit stronger than before, the slight dents in the ground becoming full craters, and trees nearly splintered under the might of the tails whipping towards him. One of the notable disadvantages of fighting a doll, however, was the fact that it wasn't human. It didn't tire, it didn't feel pain, and most of all, it didn't have bones to break, which was one of the biggest advantages of Goken. Goken focuses on bludgeoning force, snapping bones beneath their strong strikes, and causing their opponent physical damage. Against a doll… it was quite useless.

About five minutes later, a heavily breathing Gai called for a halt, and Naruto beckoned the doll to come towards him. The fox plush, while quite large, still had a soft spot for ear scratches it seems, as the fox's tails started to twitch side to side in happiness as Naruto busied himself with scratching, while Gai got his breath back to normal.

It took about ten minutes for the man to get his second wind, and the doll was safely back in Naruto's arms, back to its smaller state. The Jounin was feeling quite exhilarated, though a bit scared, of what the boy would be like in all out combat. The boy was clearly at least Jounin in strength, though it seems Kakashi hadn't taught him at all, or even attempted to. He was quite disappointed by his rival at how he let such a prize student slip through his grasp.

His Genin were wide-eyed in shock and awe of the Genin who had to be only a year younger than them. He showed that he was quite capable in taijutsu and his doll could easily fight on par with Gai when he still had his weights on! And that was only one facet of his bloodline, he had said that he had extreme manipulation over all the elements, and they were both a little afraid, and a little excited, to see what happened next.

Naruto, deciding that the man really had earned his respect, politely spoke up in a softly amused tone.

"Gai-san, if we continue, I'm afraid that I won't be able to prevent this training area from being destroyed. Due to my elemental manipulation, I specialize in wide-scale demolition. If Hatake-san told you anything about our encounters during the C-rank mission, surely he told you what happened when I was faced with opponents?"

The Jounin blinked a little, before his eyes widened a bit in recollection. Kakashi had stated that his blonde student was a demon when it came to the battlefield, stating that the abilities he had were nothing short of kage-level destruction. He had said that the blonde had wiped out a full army of mercenaries, as well as their boss, with one technique! Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, he wondered if he could perhaps compromise…

"Hm… you have a point, Naruto-san. Would it be possible for you to show some of your techniques, though? I haven't seen anyone able to accomplish much with pure elemental manipulation alone. The only Jounin in Konoha that can do much at all with just the manipulation is Sarutobi Asuma, a trench knife specialist who uses his wind element to enhance the length and sharpness of his knives."

The blonde thought about it for a moment, before nodding and responding with a question.

"Small explosions, bigger destruction, or wide-scale devestation?"

Gai thought about it for a moment, before nodding his head to himself.

"The best you have. To a point, of course, as I don't wish this training ground to be destroyed."

The Black Mage's purple eyes seemed to sparkle with impish delight as he gave a decisive nod, setting the toy on the ground in front of him. A dark purple power surged and flickered around him for a moment, as he raised a single hand into the air. The doll's tails sprang to life, flicking side to side in a hypnotic manner. A word escaped the teen's lips as he named off his technique before results were shown.

"**Waterja**."

A huge globe of water exploded into existence above the training area, easily fifty feet in diameter. It hovered for a bit, before twisting and twining into a one hundred foot long water dragon, twisting through the air and knocking over a few trees with slight flicks of its tail. The doll's tails slammed downward in front of it, but didn't harm the ground as Naruto snapped his fingers, the near-maroon aura flaring into existence for a moment. Another word slipped into the air, before the water changed again.

"**Blizzaja**."

The water dragon exploded into a shower of rain, before freezing into hundreds of thousands of ice needles, impacting the training area's earth without even a sound, a testament to how sharp they were to slip in without much resistance. They all slipped back out, leaving tiny pinpricks where they were, before slamming into each other and forming a large prism out of ice that hovered into the air before dropping to the ground. As soon as it made contact, the area around the prism flash froze, turning grass to ice, before it exploded into a shower of glass-like shards, dissolving into the air as the grass thawed.

Naruto gave a wistful smile at the sight, remembering Haku's ability, and her subsequent hint of unlocking fusion elements. He quickly moved onto the next element, clearly aware that there were another two observers hidden in the trees. He felt no malicious intent from them, and allowed them to continue to watch as he brought both arms above his head, the doll mimicking his actions with its tails. The purple aura reappeared, darkened slightly more, before dissipating, as he brought both arms in a vicious downward motion together. The word that escaped his mouth was nearly lost in the effects following it.

"**Thundaja**."

Through the bright clear sky, fifteen lightning bolts, easily two feet thick, collided with each other over thirty feet above their heads before combining and slamming into the earth below them, the white beam of energy easily ten feet across, and even a foot or two thick. He toned down the electrical charge that escaped the ground so that he didn't give anyone more than a minor shock of the electricity, but the ground was unable to contain it all and exploded where struck. An echoing 'BOOM' rattled the leaves in the trees in the wake of the lightning bolt. Without missing a beat, he moved to the next spell, turning to an unoccupied set of trees before delivering a swift palm thrust, accentuated by the movements of his doll, as well as his Mana springing to life for a moment.

"**Aeroja**."

Slicing gusts of wind shredded well over fifty trees into something akin to the consistency of sand, the poor bark never standing a chance to the incredibly precise blades of wind hidden within the storming gale that completely surrounded the trees. Taking aim at a place that wouldn't be too destructive, he released his second to last elemental spell, the purple aura staying after this one as he really needed the power for the last.

"**Firaja**."

Over one hundred feet above them in the air, the sky combusted into a brilliant explosion of white-hot fire, spreading easily at least thirty feet in every direction before imploding on itself, as he didn't wish for the forest to catch fire. The purple aura was nearly black as it twisted and twined about him, and he raised both hands up before slamming them onto the ground, the doll miming every movement.

"**Quakeja**."

The earth groaned and cracked in protest to the spell, before hundreds of thousands of branching spears of earth erupted from the ground. They only stayed for a moment, though, before disappearing, and the earth returned to how it was before the sparring ever even started, all the craters and dents filled from the added power to the spell.

The Black Mage turned to the shell shocked green Jounin, his doll smirking at the two 'unnoticed' others within the trees before hopping into the blonde's arms. The teen raised an elegant blonde eyebrow, not looking winded in the least at his inhuman display, before asking his question.

"Is that all you needed to see? I can do a few more things, but I'd rather not. Not even my earth manipulation can restore the destruction of the ability I used at the end of my C-rank. It's hard enough to contain that technique and not allow it to affect anything that isn't caught in it, and the poor trees have suffered enough today."

Gai nodded a little, his three Genin were almost falling out of the tree at the awesome power displayed. The Jounin was greatly relieved that he didn't fight the boy in all out combat, as the abilities displayed were quite… destructive. He wasn't joking when he said he specialized in wide-spread demolition!

The two bystanders, still 'unnoticed' to all but Naruto, nodded to each other before disappearing. The blonde, as if remembering why he first came here, struck an elaborate thinking pose, the doll hopping to his head and lying their motionlessly, before he asked a question that had the Genin team falling out of the tree and flat on their faces.

"I also wanted to ask where you bought your spandex suits, as I believe Hatake-san could do with the… youthfulness… that they provide. I also wish to, as he seems to have a grudge against me, deprive him of his mask and bare witness to the mystery of the world known as Hatake Kakashi's face. If nothing else, it will serve as blackmail material should he try to set me up with a potentially fatal enemy again."

Gai was once again shocked at how 'unyouthful' his rival was being, all for a simple grudge. He was trying to get his own student killed? He couldn't detect a lie from the blonde young man, and that scared him. It meant his rival truly was blinded by uncalled for hatred and anger at this boy over nothing and was using his status as the blonde's sensei to try to get him killed! It was at that moment that the 'eternal rivalry' between Gai and Kakashi ended, as the guy in green found that the 'rival' he had been competing against seemed to have, indeed, fallen from grace.

Gai told the blonde where the store was that sold the spandex bodysuits he always wore, also politely asking the boy if he would mind stopping by his apartment sometime so that they could discuss his hand to hand style, as Gai was incredibly interested in it, and would want to write down how to correctly train a person in the style. Naruto's lips quirked upwards in a semblance of a slight smile and nodded to the taijutsu master. He didn't mind the man all that much, really, despite the exuberance and 'youthfulness'. The man had some honor, held a strict code of morals, and wouldn't use the knowledge gained from the Black Mage for selfish reasons.

With the location of where the spandex could be bought ascertained, Naruto sat against the trunk of a tree that hadn't been felled, and listened to Gai's lesson plan. He could wait a bit to remove Kakashi's mask; he really was interested in this 'teamwork' theory that Kakashi always talked about, right before he pandered to Sasuke's every whim and ignored both him and Sakura. He watched as Team 9 practiced under Gai's watchful eye, slightly surprised at what they were able to do. He did have to put up with Neji's curious, yet still haughty, gaze when the Hyuuga turned on his Byakugan, as he was unable to see Naruto's chakra coils, or any chakra whatsoever, as well as the red energy seeming to be stored within the doll on his head. Naruto… simply shrugged his shoulders and used the end-all be-all excuse of excuses.

"Bloodline thing."

They'd buy it, usually, though Gai was looking quite suspicious and thoughtful. Naruto would play a little with Kyuubi while they were practicing and training, doing his own 'unique' training. It nearly gave Neji a heart attack to see a 1:10 scale model of him, shiny hair and everything, created as a golem of earth (though with realistic coloring and details). Tenten had thought it was cute, and had glomped it, squealing slightly. Naruto knew not to say anything about that, as he was certain she was hiding pointy objects somewhere, just waiting to throw them at anything that dare call her a fan girl. Lee thought it was 'youthful', however, once he finally set up his little training playground in front of him and the Kyuubi toy.

There were four figures each doing something different, each created out of a different element that corresponded with their personalities. Neji was cold, unforgiving, unmovable in his views, and stoic, so he was an earth golem. Tenten was piercing, striking with deadly accuracy, and had a bipolar personality; she was focused and unflinching in a fight, but slightly bubbly and humble off the battlefield, so she was lightning. Lee was effervescent, always here or there, but never anywhere for long. His fighting style of Goken focused on straightforward strikes, but he combined it with a bit of acrobatics to slowly mold the style to fit him and his personality. He was a wind golem.

Finally there was Gai. He seemed to also be bipolar, in a different way. He was 'youthful' and exuberant on or off the field, but when faced with something potentially threatening or something he was highly interested in, he became serious and focused. He molded his students into powerful shinobi, yet was able to keep their clashing views from causing much infighting. He was gentle when he needed to be, yet incredibly powerful when the time demanded it. He was a water golem.

The Lee and Neji golems were sparring in perfectly imitated versions of their taijutsu styles, with the Gai golem yelling in a grand imitation of the instructor to have the Tenten golem improve their evasion by throwing projectiles at them. He wanted her to miss by exactly one centimeter, should they be unable to move out of the way, and the Tenten golem did exactly that.

Gai had come over to inspect the faux battlefield, and he was surprised at how accurate everything was. When he asked what Naruto was doing, the boy had given him a rather interesting answer.

"Well, I spend my free time improving not only my control, so that I may someday use my ultimate technique without harming anything I don't want to, but I also work on fusion between elements. You saw a glimpse of that when I showed you each of my elements, as I had gotten a hint from a powerful woman with the **Hyoton (Ice Element) **bloodline on how to mix wind and water to create ice. I was able to use it before, but it took an immense amount of force to create the element, and now the Ice element is coming quite a bit better with her help. The final thing I'm working on is seeing if I can create working automatons through my manipulation. Before our C-rank mission, I was able to create about five inch tall figures, and a perfect replica of my doll, but this is how far I've come now.

It also helps that I have a photographic memory, allowing me, should I wish to, to simply see the entirety of a fighting style just by one viewing. I refuse to pick apart other people's fighting styles, though, and refuse to use my memory to create a variation of the Sharingan. I find that stealing from your comrades is one of the worst things possible, so I use the stored knowledge in a rather interesting way; I have my golems replicate what I've seen, and if I'm near people I've remembered something from, I'll sit back and see if they can find anything to help themselves from seeing their likeness in pitched combat.

Think of it as this… I'm always recording everything that I'm seeing… and I dislike the thought of becoming like Hatake-san, so I use my gift to help others. Instead of teaching stolen techniques, I use the knowledge to allow people to view themselves in the third person, and be able to better their own training by seeing how they fight."

Gai was rather astonished at this, as it was a great use of a something like that. He could clearly see how the teen's memory could be considered a curse, given how he had seen how Kakashi acted with his copying eye. Neji, Lee, and Tenten were struck between awe, and slight endearment. It was a rather obscure, yet highly useful ability, and the blonde had found a way to not let the knowledge to go to waste, yet not really 'do' anything with it besides allow other people to view themselves and hone techniques. They watched their respective golems, and realized that it was, indeed, a near perfect replication of each of their ways of fighting. They sat down to watch themselves for a few minutes, each picking up a few things they could work on the next day from watching the miniatures fight. Tenten was quite curious as to how mini-Tenten got all her weapons, and Naruto gave a slight smirk and a cryptic reply.

"The wonders of elemental manipulation know no bounds, Tenten-san."

Gai immediately caught on to what he was saying, and vowed to himself to teach the three their respective elemental affinities. Before long, their training session was over, and Naruto bid them a farewell before vanishing in a flurry of ice crystals, which held in the air for a moment, twinkling and sparkling, before evaporating as well.

* * *

Kakashi's house…

Hatake Kakashi was currently taking a light nap, as his brooding at the memorial stone had taken a lot out of him. He wasn't a natural at angst, like Inari or Sasuke, but he really had great things to angst about!

First was his old teammate, Uchiha Obito, who died and gave him his Sharingan eye. He had died in a rockslide, and Kakashi felt it was his fault, as if he had simply agreed to go rescue Rin earlier, perhaps the Stone nins wouldn't have caught them unawares with the rockslide technique.

Secondly was his other teammate, Inuzuka Rin. She had been captured by Stone nins, and his own stubbornness at wanting to finish the mission instead of saving her came at a heavy price. She was severely injured from her escape attempt by the time he had come to save her, and she only lasted long enough to use a medical jutsu to fully transplant Obito's eye into Kakashi's socket before dying from blood loss.

Finally was his sensei, Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime. He had given his life to seal the demon away about fifteen years ago, and Kakashi blamed the Jinchuuriki for his sensei's death. The fox was the most powerful of the Bijuu, surely the container had to have been corrupted by its influence? Of course, the idea that the seal was absolutely foolproof, seeing as how his sensei was a brilliant man with seals never crossed his mind, and he blamed it all on the Jinchuuriki. Then that new blonde student of his has the gall to have a Kyuubi doll around him, and even uses it in a fight.

Apparently, without the trademarked blue eyes and whisker marks on his cheeks, Naruto was damn near unrecognizable. Due to Kakashi's pure laziness, he had never even bothered to learn the Jinchuuriki's name, simply knowing that it was the fox container by gold hair, blue eyes, and whisker marks. Also due to his uncaring nature when it came to anything besides the Uchiha, he really didn't care that almost everyone else in the village knew that his student was that same Jinchuuriki, as every time someone brought it up to him he was too busy with his porn to notice.

Eventually the man will grow a working brain, or so we must hope.

He was currently mulling over his thoughts on how his student had gold hair, purple eyes, had a Kyuubi doll… his abilities didn't use chakra it seemed… and he was the correct age to match the Jinchuuriki before it disappeared…

Kyuubi had red eyes…

Blue plus red equals purple…

Right as he made the connection, he was distracted from his train of thought as a odd draft was felt across his face.

'_That's odd… I always have my mask on… so the only way I could feel a draft is if…!'_

He bolted up in bed, eyes wide in the darkness of his bedroom. He removed the hitai-ate from his head, allowing his Sharingan eye to hopefully pierce the darkness, but was blinded before he could see who removed his mask by a bright flash of white light. Several other flashes followed it, as well as the tell tale 'click' sound of a camera going off. He blinked rapidly to clear his vision and horribly mangle whoever was the newest attempter on seeing his unmasked face, but by the time his vision returned to normal, the only trace of his assailant was a single snowflake fluttering in the breeze.

He vowed to find who was able to figure out what he looked like, destroy the camera, and destroy all copies of those pictures. He was just about to go into berserker frenzy when his thoughts strayed back to where they were going.

His blonde student that he so hated was the Jinchuuriki!

He had more cause to kill him now, and would be hailed as a hero for it!

He was nearly giddy with that news, and promptly forgot the intruder who saw his face as he started to plan on how he would get his student killed. Good thing he never taught the 'demon' anything, though his powers were already great. Just more proof that the fox was manipulating the child.

Let's leave him to his delusions, shall we?

* * *

Back with Naruto…

Naruto appeared in the Hokage's office in a swirl of delicate snowflakes, startling the Jounin meeting currently in place. He really couldn't care the fuck less right now, because he had pictures of Kakashi's face, and nothing could ruin the good mood. Not even the unnatural amount of hate coming from most of the Jounin in the room. He strode purposefully up to the Hokage, before tapping his temple and creating a transparent screen out of pure Mana on the wall behind his desk. His first words shocked the room to the core.

"I have come from my self-imposed SSS-class mission, Hokage-sama, and I was successful. I have physical as well as mental proof of what the fuck Hatake-san looks like under that mask. Allow me to show you from my memory what he looks like, while I wait for the pictures to be ready for printing."

The screen flickered a little, before an image appeared on it. It was Hatake Kakashi, devoid of mask or hitai-ate, eyes wide and unseeing. The scar across his left eye was quite prominent, but nobody was caring about that. The man's face was absolutely perfect! Unmarred skin, pale from lack of sunlight, adorned where the facemask usually covered, with only a tan line marking where the mask usually was.

Many of the Jounin kunoichi were staring in shock, awe, and a little bit of lust of the perfect face. They didn't really care that the 'demon' was the one to finally complete the mission, as he had completed it and there were results!

Two notable exceptions were Yuuhi Kurenai, Genjutsu Mistress, and Mitarashi Anko, Snake Mistress and Torturer extraordinaire. They were glancing at Naruto with a little bit of awe, as well as a tiny bit of regret. Naruto really couldn't care less at the moment, though, as he let the image hang in the air for a few seconds before dissipating back to his mind. He nodded politely to the shell shocked room before giving the Hokage a slight bow and making a polite exit.

"I am sorry for interrupting your meeting, Hokage-sama, but I felt that as it was such a momentous occasion, you could forgive this intrusion."

He disappeared into thin air after relaying that, his **Shunshin **even more dramatic than ever. As he disappeared, a swirl of ice prisms about the size of half a kunai ascended upwards in his wake. They all refracted the light in a brilliant array across the room, before shattering with a slight tinkling sound, and evaporating.

Quite a few, after getting over their shock of seeing Kakashi's face, had their jaws on the floor from such an elaborate technique. The control, as well as the elemental manipulation, to achieve that feat was enormous! One Jounin, however, stood apart from the rest. He was newly released from ANBU after serving the standard four year term, and his name was Tenzo, though he preferred to go by Yamato. His thoughts were on the track of _'if he was able to recreate __**Hyoton**__, would he also be able to recreate __**Mokuton (Wood Element)**__?'_

The ex-ANBU decided he might have a little chat with Naruto on the possibilities of that. He didn't really care if the boy was a Jinchuuriki or not, as the bloodline of the Shodaime Hokage had two parts. One was the wood element, and the second was the ability to repress a demon's influence. If the teen tried anything using his demon's power, he'd just suppress it with his power, and he was positive he could fight off the boy if he wasn't using the Kyuubi.

* * *

That night…

Naruto snuck inside Kakashi's house with the grace of a cat, making absolutely no sounds. He used a Mana construct to hide him from sight, and was able to disperse his smell throughout the area to prevent anyone from pinpointing his location by nose. With three of the five senses taken out, and he highly doubted he would be licked by the Jounin, it left only touch which was easily avoided.

He stole quickly through the area, making no trail as he moved. He was certain this was even more dangerous than depriving the man of his mask but… it had to be done.

He got to the area where he needed to be; the bedroom. He snuck through the doorway, pausing a little to make sure the man's breathing was even as he slept. He continued to the closet, and reached out with a steady hand…

After making his alterations to the man's clothing, he headed to his final and definitely most risky task. The doll on his head was almost hyperventilating from the suspense, and Naruto decided he would have to use a sort of Genjutsu instead of a physical transformation. Using his Mana, he wove an intricate spell pattern through the air, the violet light flickering for a moment before it faded, showing that the spell had been cast. He then sprinted out of there, making sure to not leave any trace behind.

* * *

The next morning, 9 am…

A deafening scream of "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" echoed across Konoha, and it would have woken them had the screamer been a bit earlier in the morning. Of course, Kakashi was always late to everything, even sunrise. Naruto, who was currently waiting with Sasuke and Sakura at Training Ground 7 messing with his golems, nearly snickered in delight. He was positive the man would be thoroughly humiliated today, as he had cast a spell on each of the spandex suits that would last a full twenty four hours, would immolate any clothing that was worn over them, and would latch onto the man's skin like a leech, preventing him from removing one. And due to the disappearance of all his other clothing, it was either spandex until finding acceptable clothing, or a towel… but Kakashi wouldn't want to go outside in only a towel.

He was hard pressed to keep a straight face as his sensei arrived, face mask in place as he was too damn afraid of the man catching him should he try again to remove the mask. However, that was the only thing that was 'normal' about his teacher.

Hatake Kakashi was wearing a green spandex bodysuit, which was quite form fitting. Naruto absently noted to himself that he was a great judge of body to get the man's size correct on the first try. Kakashi's one eye was beaming intense rage at anything and everything in the vicinity, and it would have looked quite frightening… if his gray hair wasn't done in a shiny bowl cut reminiscent of Maito Gai.

The man's furious stare finally landed on him, and his current project. He had a mini-Konoha, with pretty good details, and it was currently being destroyed by a Kyuubi made out of ice. He still wasn't up to par with his ice manipulation yet, as it was a relatively new element and had to be worked with a bit longer than his daily training with the others until he was just as proficient in it as he was in the others.

Kakashi stormed up to his blonde student, intent on doing some kind of harm to him, as his newfound knowledge of the student's Jinchuuriki status allowed him to blame anything and everything on him. He pointed an accusing finger at the fifteen year old, almost sputtering with rage as he yelled at the blonde.

"YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

Naruto looked up, cocking a slightly questioning eyebrow. He let his eyes roam over his sensei's 'attire', and pulled a mock-innocent face as he replied.

"Oh? How are you so positive of that, Hatake-san? Do you have any proof?"

Kakashi started to sputter incoherently, as it was just made clear that he really didn't know who did it… but he was positive he could blame the Jinchuuriki.

"I know you did it, you demon! You must have done it! You had to be jealous that Sasuke was getting better in his training than you were, and you tried to lash out at me for it!"

Naruto's lone eyebrow rose closer to his hairline at this statement. Even Kyuubi seemed to be giving the man a questioning stare.

'_It seems that he finally figured it out. Eh, who cares? He hated me before; he'll hate me even more now. Ah well.'_

The teen stood slowly and gave the man a cold glare that made the ice golem of Kyuubi look like a boiling desert, nearly making the newly-spandex clad Jounin step back in fright. But he was a Jounin, and he wasn't going to let this demon intimidate him!

"Hatake-san, I advise you to quit making nonsensical accusations when you have no proof. I am actually quite a bit stronger than you, so as I can defeat you in combat, I really couldn't care less with what you teach Sasuke. I am quite annoyed that you would believe I would stoop so low as to 'lash out at you', as you put it. However, your face mask is quite null and void at this point, as it seems someone has infiltrated your home, and was able to get quite a few pictures of your face underneath the mask. They seem to have spread all around the village, and I believe…I hear your fan club coming now."

The stampeding of footsteps started to shake the ground, as a loud squeal of "KAKASHI-KUN!" rent the air, causing all to tremble in terror. Kakashi swiftly forgot all about his hatred of his student, and handed three Chuunin Exam Applications to Sasuke, telling him he nominated the team (read: nominated Sasuke but had to nominate Sakura and Naruto as it was a team-oriented exam) for the Chuunin Exams, and that they would start in about a month. He then took off, hoping that he could outrun his mob of fan people.

Naruto walked up to Sasuke's still-shocked form, took a paper out of it, and disappeared in a swirl of snowflakes, headed towards Training Grounds 27.

* * *

Training Grounds 27…

Naruto arrived in his own teleportation spell with his lips slightly turned upwards in a smirk. He headed straight to Gai, tapped a finger against his own temple once, before a large screen was brought to life in the air, a still image of Kakashi's new 'look' on it for Team 9 to see. Neji stifled a snicker, Tenten burst out into laughing, and Gai and Lee started to hug each other, proclaiming that Kakashi had discovered his 'youthfulness' at long last.

He felt someone was watching him intensely, so he decided to find out who, and bid a farewell to the team before disappearing in a gust of artic wind, giving the entire team a brief chill. He reappeared in the surrounding forest, the same gust of freezing wind accompanying him as he appeared a few feet to the side of a Jounin who was spying on him. He decided that he was in a good mood and wouldn't harm the man… yet… unless he didn't have a good reason to be spying on him, that is, and voiced his question.

"Why, exactly, are you spying on me, Jounin-san?"

Yamato, the spy, blinked rapidly in surprise at being discovered before regaining his composure. At least the teen had a bit of respect, though it was obvious he was suspicious of being spied on. He had heard a little about the fighting abilities of the blonde, due to Kakashi's lazy drawl at all the meetings he had been to, but most of the Copy-nin's speeches tended to be about how Sasuke was progressing. Deciding that he might as well get straight to the point, he answered as truthfully as possible.

"I had seen your ability to create the fusion element of Ice during the Jounin meeting yesterday, and was wondering if you were able to create any others."

Naruto was a bit surprised at this, as he hadn't detected any malice from the man while he was speaking, and he seemed genuinely interested. He gave a slight shrug before answering the man, as it was a decent reason to be spying on him, though he would warn him to not attempt it again if he was fond of living.

"I have not been able to recreate the others to my satisfaction, so I await people with the respective bloodlines to the fusion elements to give me advice on how to combine the two. I had met a **Hyoton** user on my C-rank mission, and she gave me the much needed hint to make my ice manipulation viable. I can do a little of the other fusion elemental manipulations, but nothing satisfactory to me so I don't use them often. I have trained as far as I can without learning exactly how the fusion element works, and until I find someone with the bloodline to assist with that, I have hit a glass ceiling."

The Jounin nodded a little, as it seemed logical enough, before making his decision. He gave a slight smile to the blonde, before disappearing in the standard whirl of leaves, his answer floating to the Black Mage on the wind.

"I see… well, I am Yamato, the sole user of **Mokuton **in Konoha. Should you be able to prove to me that you are worth it, I will give you information on how the wood element works. For now, though, I notice your ice manipulation still needs training, and I will wait for you to bring it up to par with your other elements before testing you."

Naruto let a sly grin slip onto his face at this, and took it as a challenge. He disappeared in another **Shunshin**, a large pillar of ice engulfing him before exploding into multiple shards of ice floating in the air, before they all evaporated.

He would have to train a bit more than usual before the Chuunin Exams, he decided.

* * *

Author's Note: I actually like Gai. He must do wonders with his teaching, to be able to put up with the 'Fate fucks me without lube' speeches from Neji, as well as the annoyed acceptance of Tenten, while still turning Lee, who is unable to use chakra, into a real fighter who is capable of being almost on par with Gaara in canon Chuunin Exams. I also doubt that he always is 'youthful', but instead uses it like Anko uses her blood thirst. It's just a quirk to deal with the ninja life.

Next chapter won't be till Wednesday or Thursday, I presume, as Tuesdays tend to be off limits. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	5. Meeting Teams and Training

Author's Note: This chapter is a little bit short compared to others, as I wanted a little bit more filler before the Chuunin Exams began. I decided that, since he met with Gai's team, why not meet with the other two and see their reactions? Anyway, the next chapter will be longer, I'm sure of it.

Reviewers!

**wolfey141**: That's a decent idea, but still... he's not immortal, so having a long time to charge would be quite... impossible for him. He's... squishy, as much as I hate to say it. He would probably die if he had to try to use that spell on anything with a bladed weapon, should he require more than normal amounts of time to charge, unless he was able to move around while charging it. Good idea, though!

On the subject of apprenticeship... it's incredibly horribly hard to separate the feeling of chakra and mana, as I stated earlier in the fic, so he would have to probably teach a child how to cast magic. I like the idea of teaching Lee or Hinata so that they could change from 'dead last' or 'horrible self confidence' into incredibly powerful shinobi, but there are a few things wrong with that. For one, a Lee that isn't confined to strictly taijutsu completely demolishes the character, as the boy's attitude is based completely on the dream that he could become a great shinobi without using nin or gen jutsu. For Hinata... she actually hates Naruto, and wouldn't accept his help anyway. For reasons on why, refer to one of my earlier author's notes.

**saiyan prince1**: Eh, the cloak isn't all that great. The hats are the winning point for me.

**Mrbiggs132**: Why thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my story that much.

**KunoichiDreamer**: Thanks.

**Unyu**: Thanks, I try to keep a large amount of sarcastic humor in this story. That, and sporks. True, he won't be 'godlike', persay, but he will be powerful enough to level Konoha should it piss him off. He's physically weak, but he was trained in a special hand-to-hand style that focused mainly on evasion and deflection so that he wouldn't die immediately in taijutsu combat. He also has incredibly acute danger senses from some... interesting... training from Lulu. Including, if you remember, having him listen to hear her whisper **Thunder** spells until he could catch the sound and jump out of the way in time. He'll never be as great in hand-to-hand as, say, Gai, but he can hold his own. His main focus is long range combat, or having his doll fight for him. I may check out the I-IV spells, as I can't remember them off the top of my head. As for the weaving a matrix of mana for everything... it's mostly for one-time deals. It takes too long to do it correctly in a combat situation, so he uses it when he only needs a certain effect temporarily. He can create spells, but he's mostly focused on perfecting his manipulation at this point in time.

**griffin blackwood**: Thanks.

**Darque Harlequin**: Why thank you!

**shadowzerover5**: I'm not sure where turtles would fit into the story... unless it was a Sanbi no Isonade plushy...? I have no idea.

**Vilkath**: I completely agree with you. Kurenai did try to help Hinata's self confidence issues a bit, but the harsh truth is that she couldn't teach her students anything, and was simply there to help them work as a team better. She is a Genjutsu mistress, and Hyuugas seem to have some sort of law against using anything but taijutsu. So... Hinata's out on learning Genjutsu, Shino's out due to Aburame clan thing, as their bugs devour their own chakra, and Kiba is out due to... he's too emotional and unfocused to be a Genjutsu user.

Asuma... was too lazy to teach his students anything, though he did play Shougi and Go against Shikamaru to challenge his mind. Over the time skip, Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji all learned quite a few things, but it only seemed to start after the Chuunin Exams ended. I guess he's an okay teacher, but quite lazy.

Kakashi was the absolute worst, however. Always prattling on about teamwork this, teamwork that, and then nobody learned anything until the Chuunin Exams. Huzzah for tree walking, now I can... tree walk away from enemies? What the fuck was he thinking, applying them for the exams? Idiot... Seriously though, the Academy in cannon goes from... I think age 6 or 9 to age 12, and all they learn is **Bunshin (Clone)**, **Kawarimi (Substitution)**, and **Henge (Transformation)**, as well as basic projectile throwing. That is horrible. I suppose they spent ages in a classroom learning Kunai Throwing Theory and Konoha History.

**Firehedgehog**: Oh, I will.

**EBIL DUSTBUNNY OF DOOOOM**: I have to agree, Kyuubi does rock. And he rocks even more in plush toy form. Hidan has the potential for much comic relief, or to be a really serious cult-oriented crazy man, though usually the latter bends towards the former.

**Bloodyredshade**: Will do.

**Saetan**: Thanks.

**Malvex Pavak**: Ehh... I'll think about it, I guess. I'm not sure where this fic will end up... ending, for lack of a better term, so I don't have a set group of people to choose a pairing from if I do end up with a pairing. I try not to make this Naruto too serious, preferring to make him seem more of an intelligent, incredibly sarcastic person, though in battle or when annoyed he becomes sadistic and brutal, taking the quickest, yet most painful way to kill possible. I have to admit, most yaoi stories make me nearly smash my forehead into my keyboard from the horrid way they're created. It's like... Sasuke stabs a freaking sword through Naruto's chest, before suddenly feeling bad for almost killing him, takes him in and helps him recuperate. Days/weeks later when Naruto wakes up, Sasuke kisses him and proclaims how he only just realized he was madly in love with him, and Naruto suddenly realizes he doesn't like Sakura or women at all, and is also madly in love with Sasuke. Cue badly drawn out sex scene. Bleh.

**Kazua**: Thanks! The doll-partner thing is actually from FFX, where Lulu's weapon were animated dolls that assisted her in her spell casting, so I decided that if Naruto was going to learn from her, then LET THERE BE DOLLS!

**bandgsecurtiyaw**: I try.

**Gib311**: Why thank you.

**Lucifer's Son**: I suppose he would, although the Farplane could be called multiple things, such as Heaven, Nirvana, The Promised Land (FF7 bwahaha), etc. I think that they would all be the same thing, with different names.

**pat9455**: Thanks. I like to hope that my idea was original, though I kind of doubt it.

**bailkatanas**: Thank you and I'll try.

**kirallie**: I worked hard on that, as I wanted to explore that team as it is hardly ever done. Mostly it's just a passing statement on how Gai and Lee are addicted to 'youth', but if you think about it... damn Gai has to put up with a set of extremely clashing attitudes in his team and he makes it work.

**TheDon123**: Ehh... I'll think about it. I'm not too crazy about him having sex with casual friends just for the fun of it, as it seems his mind set wouldn't let him do that. Aside from the trust issues, I don't think he would feel comfortable in such an intimate position with anyone, regardless if he was on good terms with them or not. You do have a good idea, though, and I'll think about it.

**Rome28**: Thanks.

**DAORKZ**: The sporks will never be gone for long! Actually, I was just having trouble trying to fit them in. I stuck a few hints into this chapter, though.

Enjoy the chapter!

"Talking"

_'Thinking'_

"**Spell/Jutsu"**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, FFX, or any of their characters.

* * *

Meeting Teams and Training

Naruto's slumbering form jolted awake at exactly 7:53 am, displacing the plush doll that was comfortably snuggled on top of his head. He was able to catch the doll before it flew too far across the room, saving the poor fox from slamming into a wall, and giving it a few scratches between the ears before setting it down on his pillow as he went around getting ready for a new day. Kakashi gave the team three days off after the… incident… yesterday with his newly formed fan club. He had stated that he 'needed to lay low for awhile', but had cordially invited Sasuke to come by his house to train when he thought Naruto wasn't listening. The Black Mage nearly snorted at that.

'_I do have to give him a grudging respect; he's able to lie all about teamwork right to my face without flinching. If he starts chucking kunai at the back of my head trying to 'accidentally' kill me while he's aiming to 'improve my reflexes', though, I'll have to kill him.'_

He shrugged his shoulders a bit and picked up the slowly awakening plush toy, cradling it protectively in his left arm as he set out of the house. He had decided when he was in one of his gloriously sappy optimistic moods (read: wasn't thinking of different ways to kill people left and right) that he would see the other two teams that graduated with him.

This day would have an eighty nine percent chance of being completely worthless, with an eleven percent chance of getting to 'defend himself' against his 'comrades' should they try to attack him.

Joy. He was ready to spork someone's eye out already.

* * *

Training Ground 21, 8:05 am…

Naruto remembered hearing sometime or another when he was walking around the village that Team 8, led by the Genjutsu Mistress Yuuhi Kurenai always met at Training Ground 21 at 8:00 in the morning, and he decided he would meet his… comrades.

After the Kyuubi doll had fully awoken, complete with a squeaky yawn, he had told it about his plan for the day. The doll had laughed at him, having to stifle the sound in the teen's shirt, before telling him that he must have had some form of hallucinogen when he decided this. Naruto had shrugged, and replied to the doll before continuing his walk towards the training grounds.

"If they attack me, I can legally state I was defending myself, and use almost lethal force if necessary. Either way, it's a win-win."

The doll thought this over for a minute, tapping its chin with a stuffed paw before nodding with a feral grin. It stiffened before falling motionless in his arms again, although a murmur of 'I want to attack that mutt's dog if he tries something' could be heard. Naruto had, by now, made it to the training grounds and walked noisily (to him) towards where the team was training, not wanting to be unheard in his approach. The doll had to bite its lip to avoid exploding into roaring laughter when he stepped out of the tree line, scaring all three of the Genin, but the Jounin was noticeably calm about it. So much for surveillance and scouting teams…

Naruto merely gave a half-hearted wave to Kurenai, and stated why he was there before Kiba could think of some reason he could attack him.

"Hello Kurenai-san. My teacher is… indisposed… for the next three days due to a spontaneous fan club, though that doesn't stop him from training the 'great Uchiha-sama'. I was wondering if I could view how your team works, since mine is quite… abysmal when it comes to working together."

All four blinked rapidly in surprise, as the three Genin had at least expected him to attack first, and the Jounin… didn't really think he'd be all that polite. Kiba, being the absolute tactical genius that he was, decided to reply first before thinking.

"Yeah right, demon! You just want to steal all our secrets and kill us in our sleep!"

The Black Mage turned his disquieting gaze towards the Inuzuka, freezing him in place with a tiny spike of killing intent. His voice was quite emotionless, though it had an unnerving edge to it.

"I am speaking with your teacher, Inuzuka-san. If I wanted to steal all your secrets, I would need my teacher's Sharingan, now wouldn't I? Be quiet before I silence you."

The dog using nin took about fourteen seconds before he was able to reply to that, while Kurenai was trying to figure out if there was a hidden meaning within his declaration. She was about to reply when Kiba beat her to it.

"The Sharingan is one of the best bloodlines in all of Konoha! How dare you mock it, demon! Akamaru, attack!"

The wolf sized dog companion hesitated for a second, before charging towards Naruto with his teeth bared. Naruto gave a soft sigh of resignation, a light purple energy starting to leech from him as he raised one hand in the air. Shino and Hinata were quite surprised, as it didn't feel like chakra at all. The energy twisted and twined about both his arms before flickering out of existence just as a single word was spoken.

"**Quake**."

The ground beneath the charging dog became liquid in consistency, entrapping the white-furred companion up to his neck in the substance before hardening back to normal. The dog whimpered at its position, unable to move until it was released from the earth. Kiba was nonplussed for a moment, before his temper kicked in.

"What did you do to him, you monster?!"

The 'monster' in question simply rolled his purple eyes, turning his attention back to Kurenai.

"Kurenai-san, perhaps I should leave? If your student continues to attack me, I will be authorized to use any means necessary to halt him, except for killing him. Though… I believe I could do something just as good."

The three Genin stiffened in fright at his statement, wondering what horrors the 'demon' could possibly come up with. Kurenai blinked rapidly in surprise for a moment, before nodding and replying.

"It probably would be best… Kiba is quite… brash, and I don't have full control over my own students. It was good to see you, though, Naruto-san."

Naruto simply nodded to her, before turning back to the trapped dog. The lavender energy sprung to life once more, sparkling a little in the morning air as the dog was lifted free of the ground, though it had a liberal dusting of soil on its fur. The Black Mage turned away and started to walk off, causing Kiba to try to take advantage of the position. The dog-nin charged forward, doing a few hand seals before jumping into the air.

"Don't turn your back on me! **Tsuuga (Piercing Fang)!**"

Kiba spun in a rapid horizontal tornado, dust and air swirling around him to transform the technique into a grinding drill. He was almost to Naruto's back when the teen turned around and backhanded him out of the spin, throwing him into a tree. The annoyance flickering in his amethyst eyes shocked him, as he was expecting pure malice. The violet aura seeped out of his skin again, feeling oddly… poisonous… as a single word was spoken.

"**Bio**."

A thick green… mass… of goo coalesced from the air, surrounding the dog-nin and covering him from head to toe. Kiba held his breath, not wanting to find out what the stuff did, but let out a choking gasp as it covered every inch of his skin, slipping under his clothing to do so. He felt a burning pain cover him from head to toe, not unlike sunburn, before the gelatinous mass disappeared into thin air. He tried to stand up, but to his horror, his muscles weren't working and an intense spike of pain wracked his body when he tried to move. He gave a yelp of pain as he tried again, only to feel the pain multiplied.

Kurenai rushed over to check on her student, but when she gently prodded his shoulder he gave out another pained whimper. She looked over to Naruto who looked quite… amused… and asked a question.

"What did you do?"

Naruto gave a slight shrug, placing the Kyuubi doll on top of his head as he struck an exaggerated thinking pose.

"I used the gelatinous mass to act as a medium, delivering a cocktail of poisons to his system. He currently has all of his muscles paralyzed, except for the vital ones, and every single movement or touch upon his person causes intense pain. It also has no antidote, as of yet. I could remove the poison if I wanted but… I told you, if he attacked me that I would find something to do to him. Be happy that I didn't petrify him, as I don't believe any of you would be careful enough not to drop his statue-body, which would shatter him."

He disappeared into a **Shunshin (Body Flicker)**, what seemed to be frozen flower petals flinging around him in a flurry, shattering all at once in a beautiful tinkling noise as he teleported.

* * *

Hokage's Office…

Sarutobi was having a not-so-great day. He came in at 7:00 am and found that… he had more paperwork than he had left last night! Then, when he was working on it, he got a paper cut! He barely was able to reign in the urge to blast the stacks of paper with a fire jutsu, as that paper cut could have been lethal and taken as an assassination attempt. It was now about 8:15, he was halfway through one of the stacks, and was feeling pretty good about himself. He felt the telltale signs of a **Shunshin** and made sure that none of the stacks would blow over from the smoke or leaves and patiently waited for the person to appear.

Imagine his surprise when Naruto appeared in a whirlwind of frozen flower petals, looking… the same as usual, actually. His hair was tied back in a high ponytail, though. If he had asked the Kyuubi doll on the subject, he would've gotten an answer of 'it doesn't look as cool when your hair is always billowing out behind you as you walk. You have to partition the days of when you have intimidating hair, and days when you have it pulled back.'

One must wonder how the great Kyuubi no Kitsune has such ideas on the uses of hair…

Naruto was the one who broke the silence first, his lips quirking into an amused smirk.

"Hokage-san… if the Inuzuka clan head wants to have me executed for attacking her son, kindly remind her that he tried to use **Tsuuga** on me when I had my back turned. He'll be fine in about a week, although I suppose you could have medic-nins try to extract the poison… It'd be quite a challenge, I assure you. Perhaps they could take it as training?"

Sarutobi heaved a weary sigh before nodding. He pulled out his pipe and started to puff it lazily as he sorted the situation out in his mind.

"What exactly did you poison him with, Naruto-kun?"

The blonde's eyes twinkled with innocence, though there was a high amount of sadism hidden within.

"Just a cocktail of my own specially created poisons. He can't move, and if he tries to or anyone touches him, it causes him intense pain. _Very _intense pain. He's lucky that I let him live for attacking me while my back was turned like that, but I think if I killed a clan heir that the Council would try to do something to me. Unfortunately, I need to train, so I don't have time to put them back into their place."

The Sandaime nodded a bit, continuing to smoke the pipe while he mulled it over in his head. He heaved a heavy sigh as something came to him.

"Naruto-kun… why were you near Team 8 anyway?"

The blonde teen snickered a little, tapping his chin thoughtfully.

"You know, I had this crazy idea that I should get to know my comrades better, so I went to Team 8's training ground. I made sure not to use a teleportation technique, and was walking quite noisily through the forest so that I basically broadcast my position. Unfortunately, the only one that noticed was Kurenai-san. I asked her if I could see how a real team interacts, since Hatake-san is quite… hypocritical… and Kiba attacked me, calling me a demon and such nonsense. I sunk Akamaru into the ground, and asked Kurenai if I should leave. When she said that I should, I simply turned to walk away when he attacked me, so I poisoned him."

The Hokage nodded, being able to clearly see the Inuzuka heir being brash enough to attack without provocation. Something in the narration caught his attention, though, and brought it up.

"What do you mean Kakashi-kun is hypocritical?"

The blonde's lips twisted from a smirk to a slight sneer, and his voice had a poisonous edge to it as he replied.

"He constantly rambles about teamwork, tries to get us to do teamwork exercises, and claims nonsense about 'Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash'. Of course, right after saying that he ignores both Haruno-san and I, and privately trains the Uchiha when he thinks that nobody is looking. I distinctly heard him offer training at his household to Sasuke while he was claiming he was 'laying low' to escape his fan club."

The Hokage gave a start in surprise at the claim, pulling out his crystal ball and homing in on Kakashi's chakra signature. To his surprise, he was in the backyard of his home, showing Sasuke a new technique and telling him to copy it with the Sharingan. The purple-eyed teen heaved a bored sigh as he watched the Uchiha heir actually _fumble_ at _copying _the technique.

"Hatake-san told us that the 'team' would have three days off, and then pulled the Uchiha to the side to offer private training. I bet his sensei would be rolling over in the grave by now, if he already wasn't due to the treatment of the 'precious Jinchuuriki'."

There was so much sarcasm on the last two words that the Hokage could have sworn some of the paperwork combusted from the statement. He looked up from the crystal ball with a slightly nonplussed expression on his face.

"Yondaime's team was always taught that teamwork was everything. How could he have fallen so far?"

The blonde nearly snorted in disbelief, before replying in a scathing tone.

"Perhaps it's the bribery or the prestige that comes with teaching the 'wonderful Uchiha-sama'? If he focuses a bit, I'm sure he could break Haruno-san of her fan girl tendencies, but that would take _effort_ which is blasphemous in his mind. So, he uses his implanted thieving eye to steal techniques, and then to teach the stolen techniques to the Uchiha. I feel immensely sorry for Gai-san, as I'm sure Hatake-san used their 'rivalry' to copy a few taijutsu styles. I am going to go see Team 10, as I'm sure your son wouldn't be biased against me. So far the only decent team I have viewed was Gai-san's team. Good day, Hokage-san."

The blonde disappeared in a storm of ice needles, proving that he could turn a teleportation technique into an offensive gesture when the needles flew through the air to disappear right before they could impale the dreaded paperwork.

* * *

Training Ground 10, 8:30 am…

Naruto appeared in a tree overlooking team 10, the branch below him frosting over from the ice elemental **Shunshin **before evaporating. He leaned back against the trunk, wondering how he should approach Sarutobi Asuma, the Sandaime's son, without seeming to be hostile. Unfortunately, he was too far into his thoughts to notice a shadow creeping up the trunk and latching onto his shadow. He blinked a little, startled, before he remembered that the Nara clan use shadow techniques. He heaved a soft sigh, wondering when the Nara would come out of hiding.

It took about ten seconds before Shikamaru, the pineapple hairstyle Genin, walked out of the foliage below the tree and regarded him with a suspicious gaze. He, too, had been told the stories of the 'demon child'… but he wasn't a genius for nothing. He could tell there were things off with that story, and decided to hold his judgment until he knew the flaxen haired teen a little more. He couldn't be as bad as the stories, right? He spoke up, noticing that the blonde really didn't seem surprised at all.

"Why are you here?"

He could feel the smirk coming from the Black Mage, and it unnerved him a little. He shouldn't be able to escape the **Kagemane (Shadow Imitation)**! Unfortunately, that thought was snuffed out when the blonde in the branches faded into thin air, to appear right next to him with an amused smirk twitching at his lips. His voice was emotionless, showing nothing about his thoughts.

"I came here to speak with your teacher about something, but I do have to congratulate you on capturing me with that technique. Not many people are able to catch me off guard."

Shikamaru nodded a little, still quite suspicious of the behavior shown. Before he could ask how he escaped the shadow technique, a piercing scream of "SHIKAMARU" came from a clearing not too far away, making Naruto clutch his ears in pain. The blonde looked at him incredulously, and even the fox doll on his head seemed to be reeling from the sound.

"How do you stand that every day? I think she's possibly worse than Haruno-san."

Shikamaru gave a shrug before pulling some earplugs out of his ears. His reply nearly made Naruto snicker at the genius.

"I read lips and block out sounds."

After the shadow manipulator replaced the ear plugs, he led the blonde to where his team currently was training. As they both walked out of the foliage, Naruto had to deal with the shriek of "WHAT'S _HE _DOING HERE?!" The Black Mage had to forcefully suppress the urge to try to emulate the needle-trick Haku used, thinking it wouldn't look good if he attacked the banshee without a better reason than 'she makes my ears bleed'.

Naruto, finally getting the ringing sensation out of his ears, replied with a shrugging of his shoulders and pointing towards the bearded Jounin.

"I wanted to speak with Asuma-san, Yamanaka-san."

Ino and Chouji were instantly suspicious, both being quite biased against the golden-haired Genin. Shikamaru, for fear that he would be ostracized, hadn't told anyone else of his suspicions that the 'demon child' stories were propaganda. Sarutobi Asuma, the trench knife Jounin, looked quite surprised at the declaration, though he held no ill-will towards the Black Mage. His father had told him that, while brutal and sadistic, the teen was quite polite until angered.

Ino was fuming at the 'demon brat' who wanted to speak with her teacher, and was about to scream at him when a needle of ice struck her in the side of the neck. It wasn't in the vital pressure point to throw her into a near-death state, but it did prevent her from speaking. Chouji and Shikamaru tensed at the attack, before Naruto slightly allayed their fears and caused Asuma to stifle a snicker.

"Her voice is causing more pain to me than most physical wounds, and I feel it is an attack on my person. She will be silent for about ten minutes after the needle is removed, and no harm has befallen her aside from the lack of speech. I apologize, Asuma-san, as my real intention for coming here was to speak to you, not to silence your banshee student."

Asuma nodded to the teen, before asking the question on all their minds.

"What did you want to speak with me about?"

The blonde non-banshee's lips quirked a little, his eyes glinting in slight mischief as he replied.

"I actually wanted to see how a real team interacts. Hatake-san, while decent in combat, shows quite a bit of favoritism to the Uchiha, preferring to train him over just about anything else. I believe he was trying to have me killed when he set me up to fight against Momochi Zabuza in our C-rank mission, but I digress. I have heard much about this supposed 'teamwork' from his ravings while he pandered to the Uchiha's every whim, and I wanted to see if it was all it was cracked up to be."

Asuma broke down in snickering fits of laughter by the time Naruto had finished his heavily sarcastic monologue. He got himself under control, while Shikamaru was in his 'thinking' pose, and Chouji was eating chips. Ino was waiting for the silencing effects of the needle to wear off, as she had pulled it out while the golden haired teen was speaking. He finally was able to respond, quelling his amusement at the situation.

"Alright, I suppose. I can let you watch our team train, and you can see for yourself that teamwork is a great concept. However, I wanted to ask you something that I had seen in the Jounin meeting yesterday, as well as just now with Ino. How is it that you are able to use the element of Ice? And without hand seals, no less?"

The boy rummaged around in his pockets for a bit, tongue sticking out the side of his mouth as he tried to find something. He finally pulled out a note card with his prepared speech of 'how I do things' on it, and read it out loud.

"Bloodline thing."

He quickly stashed the card away, looking quite innocent. The doll on his head started to fidget a little, though only Asuma noticed. The bearded Jounin nodded politely to the golden haired teen, allowing him to watch as his team went through the teamwork tactics and drills, capitalizing on the different abilities of the Akimichi, Yamanaka, and Nara clans. Shikamaru would capture something in his **Kagemane**, Chouji would use his **Baika no Jutsu (Multisize Technique) **and flatten it with his **Nikudan Sensha (Meat Bullet Tank)**. Or, Shikamaru would capture a target and Ino would use her **Shintenshin no Jutsu (Mind-Body Switch Technique) **to possess it. They worked on meshing their abilities more fluidly, as well as training Chouji to be able to steer his **Nikudan Sensha **more accurately. Ino had to work on the speed of her soul as it shot out of her body to possess the target, and Shikamaru had to train in being able to extend his shadow further with less shadows nearby to work with.

Asuma forced his team to work on their taijutsu next, noticing that Ino and Shikamaru were quite lax in that area. Naruto had offered to give them some… incentive… to be enthusiastic about it, and had summoned a few ice needles, as well as a few viciously sharpened ice sporks from the air to prove his point. Needless to say, the taijutsu training was the best the two had in ages, though they glared continuously at the enigmatic blonde for the threat. Naruto noticed that something was missing out of their repertoire, and asked Asuma why they hadn't learned any elemental jutsu yet. The Jounin had scratched one of his sideburns, laughing nervously as he had replied that 'I never got around to finding out their affinities'. The blonde had snickered a little, before reminding him politely that their academy techniques and single clan jutsu each would only get them so far, and that they should be able to at least have one defensive elemental technique in case they face someone with offensive elemental techniques. He even created a miniature battlefield, complete with golems resembling Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru as well as one unknown nin, and showed both scenarios. The Jounin had nodded, looking quite impressed at the tactical advantages that ability would have, before pushing his team into target practice.

Naruto was meditating as he watched the projectiles start flying, doing his own training as ice crystals formed in the air around him. The air started to sparkle from the crystals as they grew more numerous, before combining with each other to make a flawless multi-faceted prism in front of the Black Mage. The prism hovered in the air, about the same size as a human, humming a bit from the energy within it. Naruto had a spark of ingenuity, and stepped forward to the prism and placed a hand on it, focusing hard on something. If he remembered correctly, Haku was able to seem to melt into the ice and move at high speeds from mirror to mirror… almost like a toned down **Shunshin **at will…

Team 10 stopped what they were doing as Ino gasped in shock. They all looked to where she was pointing and watched as Naruto melded into the prism, his reflection appearing on every facet of the ice. The boy seemed oddly contemplative in each of the reflections, before the prism shattered, each facet moving to a specific area. Soon enough, the clearing was surrounded by reflections of Naruto in ice fragments, each with a Kyuubi doll perched on their shoulders. His voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time as he spoke with an amused tone.

"I think I figured out the **Makyo Hyousho (Demonic Ice Mirrors)**. It's quite… disconcerting to see from every angle, though."

The fragments shattered one by one until there was but one 'mirror' left, and Naruto stepped outwards from it, seeming to melt out of the surface before the last 'mirror' shattered as well. He looked a little winded from the manipulation, but his lips quirked upwards in a slight smirk as he scratched the side of his cheek.

"Sorry about the interruption. I remembered a… friend… of mine that was able to do that, and wanted to see if I was able to replicate it. I'm still not good enough with my ice manipulation to do it as well as she was, though, so I need to go train. Thank you, Asuma-san, for allowing me to watch your students actually perform as a team. Farewell."

A large ice mirror coalesced out of the thin air, and Naruto melted into it before it disappeared, subliming into the air from which it was spawned. Team 10 was quite surprised at the control that the boy showed, and Shikamaru rolled all these thoughts around in his head. He should probably speak with the golden haired teen in private one of these days to get the full story out of him. Perhaps they could play Shougi or Go?

* * *

Training Ground 44, Forest of Death, 11:00 am…

A thin sheet of ice condensed out of the air, allowing a blonde teen to step out of it before it evaporated back into the atmosphere. Naruto shook himself lightly to get rid of the odd feeling of being trapped within a mirror, and spread his senses outward to make sure he wouldn't be interrupted in his training. He couldn't feel anyone's presence nearby, so he sat down against the trunk of a tree and slipped into a meditative trance.

Feeling around within the flow of Mana within him for the different strands of each element, he found one with the slight kiss of winter imbued within it. He gently tugged it free of the rest, and began to weave it in a precise pattern, as one would a tapestry. In his mind's eye, the light blue thread of magic spun at an almost inhuman speed as it surged through the Mana construct for a new spell he had come up with. After finishing it once, he destroyed the construct and forced the power through it again, and again, and again. He continued to weave until he began to get a splitting headache from the practice, drawing him out of his work to calm his mind from the pain.

His lips twitched upwards in a slight smile unconsciously as thoughts meandered throughout his mind, catching parts of one or two before they disappeared. One fully constructed memory came to him, causing his smile to widen a little.

* * *

_Flashback…_

_Haku leaned in close to his ear, her soft voice whispering lightly as she passed on her hint on ice manipulation, causing the Black Mage to stiffen before giving her a heartfelt hug in thanks._

"_To manipulate the element of ice, you must remember that all elements have a mind of their own. Ice is a very vain element, preferring to sculpt itself than to let you do it. To truly manipulate the element to your will, always remember that the water is the raw material, and the wind is the hammer and chisel, molding it and shaping it to your whim. Ice combines the whimsical nature of wind with the amorphous state of water, allowing ice to take any form it wishes to in any situation. This is your hint, and I hope you do well with your manipulation, Naruto-kun."_

_End Flashback…_

* * *

His headache finally ceased its relentless pounding within his skull, allowing him to lean back and relax as he wove his Ice spells over and over. He would let the element have a bit of leeway on its own, allowing it to sculpt itself to a point, but he refused to let it off a short leash. It may wish to mold itself, but he needed it to work in a certain way. So long as he got most of the molding done, he would let the element do whatever it wished, as he only needed so much to make sure the spell did its work correctly.

The air around him glittered and whirled as he continued to train his ice manipulation, creating a beautiful sight that only Naruto was witness to. Throughout the day and most of the night he continued to toy with the element, trying to find the most efficient way possible to manipulate it before going back to his living quarters, determined to sleep in his soft bed.

* * *

Three weeks later, 8:30 am…

His Ice manipulation training had been going extremely well. It still was a bit behind his other elements, but he didn't mind too much. The element was quite an interesting one to work with, as almost all the spells he could come up with were offensive in nature. If he was working on a defensive Black Magic spell, he would use Earth, as it was much sturdier than fragile Ice. He pushed those thoughts out of his mind for now, as he walked steadily along one of the streets in Konoha.

His mind inevitably went back to his memory, forcing him to remember a few of the 'training' sessions with his team. He had to deal with Kakashi's malevolent glaring almost constantly, and he was almost positive the man was trying to train Sasuke to assassinate him. He really didn't care that much, as his words still rang true. He was stronger than Kakashi, therefore he didn't give a damn what the man trained the Uchiha, as the Uchiha would only become as great as Kakashi. That would be false if Sasuke ever tried to do something original, or tried to do something aside from copying… but… nah. He wasn't smart enough to realize that true power comes from training, not from shortcuts due to bloodlines.

He thought about one day in specific where he had met with Shikamaru, and played against the shadow user in a game of Shougi. He had ended up losing, but didn't mind all that much. The brunette was a tactical genius, thinking many steps ahead of where he was. Besides, most of his mind was thinking along their conversation that they had within the safety of Naruto's apartment, centering mainly on the rumors about him. He had to stifle a snicker at some of the embellishments, such as how he ate people alive, or how he had nine hidden fox tails proving that he was the Kyuubi. The game had ended on a slightly better note, though Naruto was still quite indifferent of the shadow user. Who cares if he had changed one person's views from 'biased' to 'neutral'? Most of the village was too stupid to notice or care, and would continue their witch hunt for the 'demon child'.

Good thing they couldn't find his apartment, or he might have to do something… drastic.

He pushed those thoughts away, pondering about purchasing a stainless steel spork weapon for his doll, as claws, tails, nails, and fangs will only get you so far, and that spork will get you further.

The doll snickered a little at the imagery of a plush doll wielding an eating utensil. Naruto thought it would help him look more harmless so that when someone ignored him, then the real havoc could begin. However, the ability to hold the spork would clue the enemies into the fact that the doll was able to move, thoroughly discrediting his idea.

His mind whirled back to another recollection from the past three weeks, when he had spent some time with Gai at the Jounin's apartment. Naruto had recounted in great detail how to train in his hand-to-hand style. He warned Gai not to show any of his notes to the Council, though, as their one track mind would probably force all children under the age of six to go through the training. While it looked good on paper to have an army of highly evasive shinobi, having only one style in an entire village would be a major detriment to the variety. Besides that, if all the ninjas in Konoha knew the one style, then everyone would know what to expect and prepare accordingly. Of course, none of the Council would think about that, they'd just think 'impressive taijutsu style' 'ancient' and 'very powerful' before their minds would immediately come to the conclusion of 'mass produce'.

When he had finally left the spandex-clad Jounin's apartment, the man had over twenty pages filled with notes on how to train in the style. Naruto had agreed to create diagrams for the katas within the style, as Gai would have to have them in the manual as well. Gai was too far in his years to sufficiently train in the style, as his body was fully formed and wouldn't take too well to the intense flexibility training. They both agreed that only children deemed worthy of the style would be taught it, and only one at a time. It wouldn't do to have an entire class on the style.

Naruto had the idea of calling the style a Maito Clan Secret Style, so that only Gai could pass it on. When asked why Naruto didn't want it to be his clan style, the Black Mage simply replied that 'do you think the Council would believe me?' Gai had to admit, it was quite possible that they'd vote against it and try to have him teach it to Sasuke. Of course… that would lead to unnecessary deaths… and Naruto was too busy training to have to deal with genocide.

As Naruto continued walking aimlessly around the village, he heard a pained yelp coming from a child in a nearby alleyway. He swiftly changed his trajectory, heading towards where the sound came from and had to stifle a slight snicker as he heard a 'Oi! That hurt, brat!'

He rounded the corner into the alleyway, noticing that two Suna Genin were currently glaring at a child no older than 8, who seemed to be the Hokage's grandson. The child in question was being held by the collar of his shirt by the male Suna Genin, who was dressed in a black jumpsuit with what looked to be cat ears on the hood. There was also a bandaged package strapped to his back. The female Suna Genin was dressed in a short sleeved thigh length battle kimono, with a battle fan strapped across her back.

Naruto noticed something odd in the air, and spread his senses out to find out what it was. He felt a distinct demonic energy coming from the tree nearby, coupled with an aura of malice and blood thirst. The Kyuubi doll currently perched on his shoulder had quickly whispered in his ear that it was the Ichibi no Tanuki, Sabaku no Shukaku (One tailed raccoon-dog, Shukaku of the Desert Sands).

The blonde teen gave a slight yawn, before leveling a pointed glare towards the male Suna Genin holding onto Konohamaru. His voice was quite… unnerving to the two, as it reminded them far too much of their younger brother.

"While I hold no love for this village, I should warn you that you are currently holding onto the Hokage's grandson, and any threat to him could start a war."

The young man in the black jumpsuit swiftly dropped the child, stepping back in slight fear of the fact that he was just about to beat up a relative of the Hokage. The child sprinted from the alleyway, tears flowing down his face as he escaped peril.

Naruto heaved a bored sigh as he turned to leave the alleyway, his blonde hair billowing out behind him as he strode away from the Suna Genin. Before he could make his fifth step, a monotone voice had called out behind him, the indifferent tone barely hiding true intentions.

"You. Who are you?"

Naruto, seeing a chance to possibly perk up his absurdly boring day, had slowly turned to face the red-headed Genin wearing a rather heavy gourd on his back, his clothing looking a bit loose and baggy on him.

"My name is Naruto. However, if your Bijuu weren't an insane sand monster, he would have informed you of something else. Farewell, Jinchuuriki of the Ichibi no Tanuki, Sabaku no Shukaku."

Before waiting for an answer from the shell shocked trio, he disappeared in a swirl of snowflakes.

* * *

Naruto's apartment…

Deciding that he would have to train inside for the next week to avoid unnecessary confrontations with insane Jinchuurikis, Naruto sat in the Lotus position to begin his ice training. The doll on his shoulder was nearly choking with laughter, should dolls be able to choke. Apparently, Kyuubi had a slight grudge against the tanuki, as the sand demon never really was in the right state of mind.

The teen settled into a deep state of meditation, absolutely positive that no intruder would be able to interrupt. He started on his newest project; creating a version of Haku's **Makyo Hyousho (Demonic Ice Mirrors)**, not wanting to seem like he simply ripped off the technique. He was going to take the basics of the ability; namely melting into something made out of ice, surrounding the enemy and attacking from all sides while you cannot be attacked until all the ice constructs are shattered, and make something of his own out of it.

For the rest of the week he bounced ideas off of the Kyuubi, running scenarios through his head once in awhile as he tried to perfect the technique in his mind. About three days before the Chuunin Exams, he began to work on bringing it from theory into reality. For two days straight he lay in deep meditation, finally awakening at 11:49 pm the day before the Exams. He slipped into his bed, bidding a soft 'goodnight' to the doll nearby as he drifted into slumber.

* * *

The next day, 7:30 am…

He awoke with a start to the ringing of an alarm clock, smashing the evil contraption almost absentmindedly as he went through his daily hygiene routine. The doll seemed to be bleary-eyed with sleep as he came back into his bedroom, fully clothed, though his hair was still wet. He picked the doll up gently and cradled it in his arms, giving a soft snicker as the doll rubbed at his eyes with a very human-like gesture.

On his way towards the Academy for the first part of the Exams, his mind whirled with different thoughts of what the different parts would be. He knew part one was a paper test, part two was a survival test, and part three was a tournament. He nearly groaned in exasperation, fully knowing he would fail that damn paper test since he never studied. He was a practical learner, and despised shinobi history in general. It was far too inaccurate. Other histories, though, such as history of art, history of ninjutsu, history of sporks and so on was fine, as those were mostly accurate.

Damn historians and rewriting history in favor of the winners.

He shoved homicidal thoughts towards evil civilians in libraries further away from the front of his mind as he came up to the front door. He sat against a tree trunk, deciding to wait on his teammates to arrive.

Whatever would happen during these exams, he would not be holding back.

* * *

Author's Note: Yay, finished! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, as the next one will be a bit longer.


	6. Chuunin Exams

Author's Note: I must apologize profusely for a few things

Author's Note: I must apologize profusely for not updating. I recently moved into a new house, and it seems as if I have been cursed by Murphy's Law (Anything that can go wrong will go wrong). The main highway was closed while I was moving, so the moving truck was delayed due to a livewire and were hours late getting to the house, and then I had to sort through all of the boxes in the garage to unpack everything. I just recently unpacked the entire house, and have written this up as quickly as I could.

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Spell/Jutsu"**

Diclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Lulu, FFX, or anything like that. I do, however, own this cookie, though I did not own any of the ingredients to make it.

* * *

First Exam

When Sasuke arrived at the Academy at around 8:30, thirty minutes before the exams were supposed to start, he was witness to something incredibly rare. Not only was Sakura _not _hanging off his arm like a leech...yet... but his teammate was lounging on top of a tree branch, back to the trunk, and was playing a song.

Naruto, while training with Lulu, had to find something to do whenever he drained his Mana supply dry. He had decided that he needed a hobby that didn't require much money to sustain, was able to take hours of his time on end, and would be suitably rewarding. When he had brought this up to Lulu, she had said that music tended to have all those circumstances met, and suggested that he pick up playing an instrument. He had started at the age of five, and it had become something of a soothing experience for him to play a lap harp whenever he was bored or wasn't training.

His fingers had been itching to play the instrument for months since his return to Konoha, but due to his multiple altercations with villagers and ninja, as well as his training in the elements, he had placed it on a lower priority.

Now, however… he was lounging, his eyes closed, as his fingers plucked out a song on the lap harp that he carried with him, sealed within a small scroll that he kept on his person at all times. It was contained with a blood seal, so that only he or his family (or lack thereof) could release it.

Sasuke stopped, staring open jawed at his enigmatic blonde teammate as he continued to play. Sakura came up to him, and was about to ask for a date when the tones of the song reached her ears as well and she looked up to figure out where it came from. When she spotted the origin, she almost fainted in shock. Almost in unison, the two Genin repeatedly tried to release a genjutsu, believing that there was no way that their teammate could possibly do anything besides fight.

Meanwhile, Naruto was feeling quite relaxed and a tad less hostile now that he had finally been able to play his lap harp, and was well aware of his two 'teammates'. He gave the mental equivalent of a shrug, not really caring that they now knew of his hobby, and continued to play.

The song he had been playing was a rather odd one, though only the doll currently perched on his head or he himself would know why he was playing it. The two onlookers, as well as several ninja hidden nearby who had come to discover the origin of the music, were stunned at the… sadness… in the flowing music.

He was currently playing a dirge, in honor of Lulu. His thoughts that morning had been oddly preoccupied with the passing of his mentor/older sister/mother figure, and he decided that he might as well honor her departure to the Farplane. His fingers plucked at the strings with a masterful elegance, using his Mana to alter the flatness or sharpness of a particular string to negate the use of levers.

All sounds seemed to halt around him as he continued his song, until he finished it at last and stored the lap harp within the small scroll with a small puff of smoke. He placed the scroll in a hidden pocket within his shirt, making sure to keep it safe as he looked down at his teammates with a quirked eyebrow.

"Shall we go?"

The two had to physically shake themselves out of their stupor, both immediately shoving that memory deep into the 'denial' section of their brains, unwilling to believe that their 'demon' teammate capable of any emotion. Sasuke immediately recovered his 'Air of Uchiha', also known as 'Arrogant Prick Aura', causing many Konoha citizens to have simultaneous thoughts of bowing before him. Sakura immediately latched onto Sasuke as soon as the Aura was placed, staring up at him with starry eyes, while the ninja in the surrounding foliage disappeared, satisfied that there was no threat. Kurenai and Anko, two of the observers, stashed the memory of Naruto playing a dirge into a mental folder labeled 'investigate later'.

The blonde hopped down from the tree branch, the plush doll on his head dropping into his arms from the fall. Without another word, he led the 'team' off into the Academy.

* * *

Academy, second floor, 8:40 am…

As soon as Naruto stepped foot on the floor, his senses picked up a slight disturbance. He peered around the corridor as he waited for Sasuke and Sakura to appear; Sasuke having taken extra time ascending the staircase to wait as people bowed down in his wake and Sakura because she apparently was winded from ascending a single flight of stairs. He found the origin of the disturbance at the doorway to what seemed to be room '301', though the '3' was flickering in his vision. He decided that it must be an illusion, which was compounded by the large gathering of Chuunin-hopefuls around the door which was guarded by two Chuunin under another genjutsu to disguise them as Jounin. The two were engaged in keeping the teens away from the door, acting as if it were the real 301.

The blonde heaved an exasperated sigh, moving across the floor away from the commotion up another flight of steps, as 301 was on the third floor, not the second.

'_You would think that people would be able to think for themselves, but no. They see a group of Chuunin-hopefuls trying to get into a door on the second floor, and they automatically believe that this must be the door for the first exam, regardless of the fact that it was specifically stated to be on the _third _floor.'_

He looked down at the fox plush in his arms which seemed to be tired of human stupidity as well. He gave a soft murmur just loud enough to hear to the fox, though unheard to any around him.

"They make me feel ashamed of the fact that I share their race."

The fox looked up at him in a little bit of surprise, before a feral grin lit up his face as he replied, stiffening again so that none would suspect him of moving.

"Personally, I think of you as more of a demon than anything, regardless of the fact that you are mortal like them."

The Black Mage made sure to give the plush toy extra belly rubs for that as he walked past his teacher, completely disregarding his ramblings about how it was a 'team exam' and he had to 'wait for his teammates'.

* * *

Room 301, 8:55 am…

Naruto had chosen a seat in the direct middle of the swarm of Chuunin hopefuls, and was currently tapping a finger on the top of his desk as he waited for his teammates to show up. Surely, in case of Sasuke almost not getting in, Kakashi would either tell the Uchiha the secret, or would pull strings to allow him to continue. Finally giving up on waiting, he stood from his seat and headed towards the entryway where most of the 'Rookie 9', as they were called, gathered. He completely ignored the horrified recoil of Kiba, who had recovered in the hospital following his attack, and sought out the pink hair that was indicative of a Haruno. Finally finding them, he gave out an annoyed sigh at seeing Sasuke, who looked quite a bit worse for wear.

"You fought with Lee, am I correct?"

The Uchiha simply glared in reply, though the bruises answered in their own way, almost looking like imprints of the boy's sandals. The blonde simply shrugged uncaringly, before turning on his heel to go back to his seat. He was prevented, however, by another Genin standing in his way.

He seemed to be about 5'8", and had gray hair pulled back into a ponytail. He was wearing purple clothing that looked suitable for battle, and was wearing some round glasses on the bridge of his nose. However, when Naruto inspected him a bit closer, the Genin seemed to have a latent malice hidden within his 'warm' gaze, and his demeanor simply _dripped_ with deceit.

Giving a mental shrug, not really caring at all, he listened to what the Genin had to say.

"Hey, you guys know you're drawing a lot of attention to yourselves, right?"

Naruto peered over the boy's shoulder, and saw that most of the room was glaring in their direction with a minute amount of killing intent. His lip twitched a little at that, wanting nothing more than to kill them before he smashed that urge. He gave an apathetic shrug at the gray-haired Genin, responding in a monotone.

"Your point is…? I simply had to check on my… comrades… to make sure they did not do something exceptionally stupid and get disqualified. If you do not mind, I will continue back to my seat."

The Genin looked at him, seeming to size him up, before nodding. He was about to move, but then seemed to remember something and pulled out a deck of cards, his eyes sparkling in manipulative glee, with a hint of mockery within.

"I'm Yakushi Kabuto, one of the senior applicants to the Exams. Would any of you like to see my nin-info cards? I have information on nearly anyone in this exam, no matter the country."

The reply he got was one he wasn't prepared for.

"There is no human in this village that would give me a decent challenge. The Sandaime is simply too aged to prove a fight, and many of the Jounin could be easily taunted into losing any advantage they might have held in the first place. Move aside or you will be… _eliminated_."

Kabuto moved out of the way, quite startled at the answer before turning back to the shell shocked Genin, deck of cards in hand.

"What about all of you?"

Naruto's keen hearing heard the self-assured reply from Sasuke, nearly causing him to snort in derision.

"Rock Lee and Naruto."

The medic-nin shuffled through the cards a bit before pulling out the two requested, and gave a rather passable grin, though Naruto could _feel_ the disgust and annoyance coming from the 'Genin'.

"Rock Lee of Konoha, specializes in Taijutsu. Has no ability in either Ninjutsu or Genjutsu, due to inability to use chakra. Mission history of 38 D-ranks, 7 C-ranks. His abilities in Taijutsu are apparently only matched by his teammate Hyuuga Neji and his mentor, Maito Gai."

Sasuke's lips twisted into a smug sneer at this, ushering the medic to continue with the next. Naruto seemed to blur out of existence, and appeared next to Kabuto holding the card with his information on it. He quickly scanned its contents, much to the dismay of the 'Genin', before giving a humorless laugh.

"Kabuto-san… your information is very… vague on me, and doesn't even have my name correct. Here, let me… _fix it_… for you."

The card seemed to pulse with a light purple energy, before the information rewrote itself much to the astonishment to the medic. Nobody should have been able to alter the information! He looked over the card after it was returned to him, gasping in shock as the blonde returned to his seat to listen.

"I… I can't believe it! Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto is the former Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, age 15, male. He is the only descendant of the Yondaime of Konoha, Namikaze Minato, as well as his wife, Uzumaki Kushina from Whirlpool country. Was presumed dead at age 3 after a mob had captured and beat him to submission due to his Jinchuuriki status, and was abandoned outside Konoha. He was trained by a strange woman in his bloodline, as well as an ancient taijutsu style.

Bloodline is mainly the use of highly advanced elemental manipulation without the use of hand seals, with a few other quirks to it. According to this, he doesn't use chakra at all due to his bloodline, so the Hyuuga taijutsu has no effect on him! His ninjutsu is absolutely astounding, well over that of a Kage, and he is on par with most Jounin in hand-to-hand combat! His Genjutsu is unknown, as he doesn't use illusion techniques at all, though his control displays that he would be quite able to use them.

He has been recorded to have killed over three hundred mercenaries in one technique, and can create tidal waves and earthquakes with a flick of his wrist, not unlike the Kyuubi itself. The **Shiki Fuuin (Dead Demon Consuming Seal) **is no longer present on his body, so the Kyuubi is no longer imprisoned within him. Mission history of 48 D-ranks, 1 C-turned-A rank mission, where he fought on par with Momochi Zabuza, and was able to battle the nuke-nin into submission in a purely water-based fight!"

Many of the Konoha Genin turned their heads so quickly to face the blonde in question that their necks cracked, and a few almost snapped their own necks in the whiplash of the movement. Kabuto was barely able to restrain his instinct to begin sweating buckets at the information, as he was unsure if Orochimaru would even be able to fight this one.

Naruto… was simply tapping his fingers in a bored rhythm on the desk, Kyuubi doll perched on top of his head. He gave a murmur that seemed to be to nobody in particular, though everyone in the room heard it.

"If Konoha wasn't so stupid as to throw me away like trash, I may have actually decided to protect them. Pfft. Humans. So stupid and so easily swayed by their emotions. If my parents were alive, I'd kill them for their own stupidity at believing I would be heralded as a savior. Idiots."

Kabuto's nervousness immediately ceased when he saw the amethyst eyes staring pointedly at him when he mentioned he wouldn't protect Konoha. He pondered a little on how he was so easily found out, before giving a mental shrug. He didn't care so long as Orochimaru-sama wouldn't be forced to fight this one.

Ibiki chose this time to barge into the room, yelling to the eerily silent room to 'sit down and shut up'. He looked around when nobody seemed to heed his order, and realized they were all staring at Naruto, and glanced curiously at the blonde.

Sensing that many eyes were on him, Naruto decided that he might as well instill more chaos. He picked up the plush doll from his head, and tossed it to the front of the class before enlarging it to the point where it was just barely grazing the ceiling with its head. The doll took this time to bellow out a roar of "SIT THE FUCK DOWN" before disappearing, appearing on top of Naruto's head in his smaller form once again.

Many of the room thought it was simply an illusion cast by Ibiki and heeded it, though Ibiki and Kabuto realized that it was the actual doll that did that, and filed that away in their minds for later.

The actual exam was rather… interesting. Interesting in that Naruto was able to stare directly at the exam proctor, Morino Ibiki, for fourty straight minutes without blinking. The proctor was actually getting pretty freaked out at the flat gaze directed at him, and was fidgeting nervously. The final five minutes before the tenth question, the Black Mage shifted his gaze towards the ceiling, seeming to be deep in thought about something.

A near-invisible icy mist faded into view, collecting upon two specific exam papers. It hardened slightly in the shape of several answers from the two papers, allowing Naruto to probe the construct to figure out its shape to determine the correct answers from the two Chuunin that were hidden within the Chuunin hopefuls, and he copied them onto his paper.

Having finished the paper down to the tenth question, which he was still waiting on, the blonde sat back in his seat and proceeded to have a stare down against Ibiki once more. This time, however, he added a touch of killing intent to his stare, not enough to be noticed as such yet enough to add an uncomfortable pressure to it.

Ibiki noticed the slight pressure, and figured that it must be from one of the students that were getting ticked off so he shrugged it off. Five minutes passed by, and he dished out the tenth question. He went through his well-recited routine of 'If you take the question and fail, nobody in your team will ever be Chuunin. If you refuse to take the question, better luck in six months'.

Sakura's hand started to rise to forfeit her team, but that plan was swiftly halted when she looked towards Sasuke and was enraptured with his beauty, her hand still halfway raised.

Noticing that nobody was going to forfeit after the first dozen teams or so, the proctor gave them the most shocking news of their young lives. Well, for most anyway. A shriek distinctly sounding like a cat with a trumpet halfway down its throat was the first to break the stunned silence.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ALL PASS?!"

Sadly, Sakura's inquiry would never be answered as a ball of black cloth burst through the window, shattering it. Naruto took this time to vent his irritation that he was feeling towards his parasitic teammate and flooded his killing intent, releasing a third of the potential throughout the room. The Kyuubi assisted in this endeavor and sent a highly concentrated beam of killing intent towards Ibiki, making it seem like Naruto did it.

The whole room fainted instantly, most having heart palpitations from the intense fear of death. Many weak-hearted individuals experienced something akin to seeing their own deaths being portrayed, their imagination sparked from the intense amount of fear.

The black ball of cloth exploded outwards, becoming a banner with each corner of the cloth pegged to the room by kunai. A rather interesting statement of "THE SEXY AND SINGLE MITARASHI ANKO IS HERE AS SECOND EXAM PROCTOR" was spelled out across it, with a woman landing gracefully on her feet in front of it. The woman was clothed in what could possibly make a prostitute blush at the skin showed, consisting only of an open long beige trench coat with the sleeves rolled above the elbow, a fishnet body glove, and a simple pair of extremely short yellow shorts. Her hair was purple and was placed in a style reminiscent of the pineapple that Shikamaru tended to wear, and her hazel eyes were glinting in barely concealed bloodlust and slight insanity. The trench coat was only _barely _covering her nipples, forcing Naruto to tap his chin in thought of how the hell she was able to keep it in place so that they weren't shown ever.

Several images of the possibilities of connecting the trench coat lining to nipple piercings, as well as a mumbled debate with the plush doll on the possibilities of superglue later, and the woman finally noticed that everyone was out cold aside from a single blonde teen in the middle of a room of assorted people shivering in fear. She turned her gaze towards said blonde, and broke out into the single most frightening grin ever. It seemed to be a combination of orgasmic pleasure at seeing one person cause so much fear, as well as hero worship. Needless to say, it was almost bad enough to cause the emotionless Black Mage to cringe in fear, thinking he gained an _adult _fan girl.

Unfortunately, he was unable to escape before she latched onto his arm, grinding her chest suggestively against him and _purring _into his ear.

"Mmm… I've never seen someone force the entire first exam to faint… how the fuck did you get Ibiki too, brat?"

The blonde turned his unnerving gaze towards her and leveled a glare that sent chills down Itachi's spine, believing someone was outdoing his Uchiha Death Glare. When electricity started to spark around his body, she swiftly backed off before she was targeted with a very painful bolt. The teen stood gracefully, blasting everyone in the room with frozen winds to awaken them, speaking as he did so.

"They are weak. I was not forced to release more than one third of my killing intent, and that was an over load for most. Where will the second task be held?"

Anko flinched a bit at the tone of his voice, her mask dropping for a second to throw an apologetic glance towards him. Her mask slipped back on before any could notice, though both the blonde and the doll saw the glance and disregarded it. If one were to keep score, it would look quite pathetic.

Haters: 10,000ish

Pity/Regret: Less than 10

As soon as the assorted teens were able to think coherently from the rude awakening, Anko quickly yelled at all of them that she was going to 'cut them in half in the next exam' and to meet her at the Forest of Death at 2:00 pm the next day.

* * *

The next day, 1:59 pm...

Naruto, fearing for his virginity, had teleported to the the entrance to the Forest at exactly 1:59 pm, giving Anko absolutely no time to try to force herself on him before the exam. Unfortunately, it seemed as if she was planning on doing just that, as she pouted petulantly at him when she saw him, giving a rather convincing version of the kicked puppy look.

A scantily clad kicked puppy.

With boobs.

Nevertheless, she began the second task with announcing that killing was legal, and forcing all candidates to sign waivers so that Konoha couldn't be held accountable for their deaths. This news was possibly the only bright side towards the entire day, causing Naruto's lips to quirk upward, and the doll on his head to give a feral grin, though nobody noticed.

Team 7 was given a Heaven scroll, which Naruto pocketed before either of his teammates could object. He strode between the two, not even paying attention to either of them as he contemplated what he could do with five days of free reign within the Forest of Death.

Unfortunately, other Konoha nins were thinking the same thing, and they were quite horrified.

A distinct scent made made its way to Naruto's nose, and he blinked rapidly in shock as well as slight disgust.

_'Smells like... snakes... and... little boys...? I never knew there was such a combination.'_

The Black Mage relayed this intriguing information to his doll, causing the poor plush toy to burst out into hysterical fits of giggles, though he would later deny doing something as unmanly as giggling. After getting his 'manly snickering' out of his system, the doll decided to enlighten the blonde to what exactly has that distinct scent.

"Orochimaru, the Snake Sannin, has an uh…interest... in the 'bodies' of boys, it seems. He claims to require a new body every 3 years, but I think he's just afraid of commitment."

Naruto failed to stifle a snort of amusement at that, causing his both Sasuke (and, by proxy, his lamprey currently latched onto him) to whirl around and stare in barely veiled shock.

Completely ignoring the two, the blonde waltzed past them, leaning against a tree right next to their gate as he waited for the horn to blare, signaling the beginning of the next exam. He watched as Anko threw a kunai to graze the cheek of Kiba, who was drawing too much attention to himself, and her subsequent **Shunshin (Body Flicker) **behind him to lick up the blood. His lips twitched a little when Orochimaru, skillfully disguised as a Kusagakure (Hidden Grass) Genin handed her kunai back... using his... tongue?

Indeed, it seems that one of Orochimaru's little 'quirks', which quite possibly could be a body augmentation, was his tongue that seemed to be able to extend... indefinately?

The blonde immediately squashed that thought with the mental equivalent of a boulder, not wanting to ever have to think about that tongue again. Thankfully, it seems as though the gods took pity on him, as the horn blared at that moment. Without a second glance, the Black Mage seemed to blur out of existence, disappearing into the Forest without so much as a foot print in his wake.

Five days, twenty one teams.

This would be _fun_.

* * *

Inside the Forest of Death, Day 1, 2:53 pm...

Naruto had trailed a team from Kirigakure (Hidden Mist) into a clearing, having taken followed his senses. While training with Lulu, she taught him to follow the trails of energy left behind from any sort of usage, and given the fact that ninjas tend to use chakra to augment their legs while running, it was like following a trail of footprints.

He pulled out his Heaven scroll, and checked it over, finding that the scrolls had a pretty powerful barrier surrounding them to prevent accidental damage when 'retrieving' them from other teams.

Without batting an eye, he snapped his fingers and let the mana flow, a whispered '**Aero**' breaking the silence of the glade.

Whirling sickles of wind, hidden within a seemingly harmless breeze, completely obliterated the entire team. The Black Mage hopped down from his perch, picking up a duplicate Heaven scroll from their remains before hopping back to the trees, leaving no trace of his presence in the clearing aside from three mangled corpses.

* * *

With Sakura and Sasuke...

The two weren't really getting along that well. Sakura was nearly broadcasting where they were with her shrieks of fear, as well as squeals of 'Sasuke-kun!'

Truly, she must have been dropped on her overly large forehead at a young age.

Sasuke was doing... decently... his extra training with Kakashi was paying off, though not enough. After all, how powerful could one be when all they do is copy techniques?

Then again, perhaps they weren't doing that well, as that rabbit they were being attacked by still wasn't dead, and both of them were low on chakra...

Must be one of those evil mutant bunnies native only to the Forest of Death...

* * *

With Naruto, Day 1, 8:45 pm...

The Black Mage had followed the trail of another Genin team, this one being from Iwagakure (Hidden Stone). They had touched down for a rest, setting up a few detection traps to make sure they weren't taken off guard.

Unfortunately, that didn't protect them from the explosion of flame, centered in the middle of the three.

The blonde hopped down and scavenged their blackened corpses, retrieving an Earth scroll, before disappearing in a whirl of water to escape the acrid stench of melted flesh.

* * *

Day 1, 11:25 pm...

_'Truly, this has to be one of the few things that Konoha can do correctly. Five days of free for all, killing allowed.'_

Naruto, having followed the distant sounds of battle, found an Amegakure (Hidden Rain) team and another Kirigakure team in the midst of a battle. The Ame nins were doing quite well, using their umbrellas loaded with senbon to rain down upon the Kiri nins who were hidden within a mist. After watching them fight for awhile with no deaths, Naruto decided to up the casualty rate.

After liberating an Earth and a Heaven scroll from the remains of six victims of 'random' lightning strikes, the blonde decided to rest. He slipped into the branches of a tree, weaving a pattern with his mana to disguise him as the tree itself so that he could sleep undisturbed.

Four days left, seventeen teams left.

* * *

With Sasuke and Sakura...

After having fought in a death match against the fluffy mutant bunny (in which they performed a tactical retreat), the two decided to turn in for the night, hiding within the shrubbery since Sakura didn't have any Genjutsu in her arsenal, and Sasuke was too 'Uchiha' to learn 'Worthless Illusions'.

* * *

Day 2, 6:25 am...

After stretching a bit to fully awaken, Naruto decided to search and destroy a few more teams. He tapped his chin lightly in thought, wondering if he should go after any Konoha teams, before shrugging it off. He really couldn't care less. If they got in his way, they would die, if not, then they would live. Simple as that.

He set off into the foliage, deciding to have no mercy if he were to face off against a Konoha Genin.

* * *

With the Exam Proctors...

Anko, Genma (the senbon one), Hayate (the sick one) and Ibiki were currently situated upon the top of the tower in the middle of the Forest of Death. Several Jounin senseis were also sitting up with them, and quite a few had questioned Anko's sanity when she brought something up with her.

It was popcorn.

A bag of popcorn large enough to feed all of them for all five days.

When they asked her what it was for, she gave them an insane giggle before saying 'You'll see!'

Quite a few used their stealth training to step as far away from her as possible without drawing her attention.

The purple haired Snake Mistress had a hand to her brow, shielding out the sun as she searched for something in the forest before they all apparently found it.

A spear of ice the size of the tower itself dropped out of the sky, slamming into the ground in the forest and shattering into tiny pieces before evaporating. While everyone else was busy trying to pull their jaws off the ground, Anko was laughing up a storm while munching on popcorn yelling 'DO IT AGAIN!'

Over the course of the five days, all available Jounin in Konoha were situated up there with her, watching the proceeds. Only a few Konoha Jounin knew what was causing it, while a few others had suspicions.

* * *

Inside the Forest, Day 2, 2:02 pm...

After giving a 'show' to all the ninja currently watching the treetops, and liberating yet another Earth scroll from a poor Iwa team, the Black Mage decided it was time to up the ante.

He quickly picked up the trail of three more teams that were converging, and followed them to a large clearing where two teams were fighting against the third, which seemed to be Team 10.

A malicious smirk pulled at his lips as he lifted a hand…

* * *

With Team 10…

It was all going well for awhile. Shikamaru and Ino had immobilized two people of one team, while Chouji knocked the third out and pilfered the scroll that turned out to be the same one they had off a team early in the morning. They threw down a smoke bomb to cover their tracks as they retreated with their prize, hoping to have better luck elsewhere.

What they didn't expect was the team they had stolen from to find another team from their country to forge an alliance and track them down to get the scroll back.

So here they were, in the middle of what could be called 'tactical suicide'. Their group was definitely not meant for open battle, they were leaning towards assassination/capture-interrogation at this point in their ninja careers. If they had more jutsu in their arsenal, maybe they would have had a chance.

Against all odds, though, they weren't dead yet. Ino had four broken ribs, a cracked forearm, and had some internal bleeding where one of the opposing nins had given her a devastating heel drop to her abdomen. Shikamaru had a busted lip, a cut above his eyebrow from a kunai that would have impaled his temple if he hadn't leaned backwards at the last moment, and a few fractured bones in his wrist, arms, and ankles. Chouji was the best of all three of them, only having a sprained ankle, as he was the only one of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio that was built for things like this.

Unfortunately, aside from two nins knocked out on the other alliance, they were mostly unharmed. This… would not end well.

Deciding to taunt Team 10, one of the nins with nondescript features walked forward and sneered at them.

"Hmph. This is the legendary Ino-Shika-Cho trio? Pathetic. We were originally going to just knock you out and take the scroll, but now we're going to have to kill you."

Ino took in a horrified breath at this, before coughing bloodily. The action wasn't doing any favors to her broken ribs.

Before any fatal blows could be thrown, the sneering ninja was impaled through the eight vital points by eight javelins created out of frost. The nin didn't know what hit him, his face forever holding an expression of horrified agony, eyes clouded over in death.

The other three conscious nins on the opposing team immediately whirled around to search for who had caused the death of their 'leader', only to meet their ends in a variety of ways.

A huge fist of rock broke free of the ground, wrapping around one and squeezing until his chest caved in before pulling it into the earth with it. A second was struck by arcing lightning bolts from multiple directions, causing Shikamaru to puzzle at how the bolts moved horizontally. The final one, however, was the most brutal.

Naruto strode out of the tree line, holding both hands up, fingers splayed. The air around him was pulsing with power, though he seemed as apathetic as always.

Hundreds of thin tendrils of boiling hot water, held together by mana to prevent them from evaporating from the intense heat, sprouted from the air. Team 10 watched in horrified fascination as the golden blonde swiped his hands around in an intricate pattern, the water following every gesture. Within seconds the nin was nothing more than a pile of flayed flesh and a bloodstain on the soil, though the screams of torment from the victim would haunt their dreams for many days. Without even a word, the Black Mage tossed the scroll that Team 10 needed towards Shikamaru, and collected two scrolls from the ground, where the earth had spit one out from the victim of the rock hand, and the other being dropped by Shikamaru during the fight. With a simple gesture, the remains of the two teams, as well as their unconscious comrades, were buried twenty feet into the ground.

The two unconscious nins were buried alive.

This fact seemed to be the breaking point for poor Yamanaka Ino, who turned around and immediately vomited, though it was quite bloody from her internal injuries, and did nothing to help her nausea.

Shikamaru and Chouji seemed to be caught between intense terror, as well as disgust, at how the enemy was dispatched. Neither could even hope to speak, too appalled at the deaths they witnessed.

Naruto glided silently towards them, the Kyuubi doll held in one arm, using his other hand to seal the scroll within another scroll before placing the sealing scroll within one of his pockets. The two male team members recoiled from the blonde as he walked towards them, though the action caused them both to flinch in pain. Ino was almost going into shock, and wasn't paying attention to her surroundings.

The jewel-eyed blonde walked up to their female teammate, pulled her around, and backhanded her across the face in one motion, causing all three of them to blink stupidly in shock, their jaws falling at the action.

Gaining her composure, the Yamanaka winced as she touched the side of her face, knowing that there would be a bruise left behind. She looked up at who had hit her, before almost screaming in terror at who it was. Before she could, though, the Black Mage did something that made the other two of Team 10 to gape in bewilderment.

He reached down, and tilted her head up so that she would look at him in the face, his cold demeanor lifting slightly.

"I do not regret my actions, but I do apologize that you were forced to bear witness to them. Let this be a lesson to show you that the career of a shinobi is absolutely nothing to be taken lightly. If I had not come, you all would have died. While I am admittedly brutal in my actions, they are the reality of the ninja world. If you cannot deal with that, then immediately retire. If you need help coming to terms with this, you should consult Yamanaka Inoichi, as he should have some idea of how to help you through it."

With that said, he turned to leave, before the mindwalker blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Why…didn't you kill us too?"

The purple eyed teen turned his head to look over his shoulder, the side of his lips twitching a little at the question.

"While Konoha may believe I am a demon, they need to learn something important. The world is never black and white; there are only shades of gray. What they need to realize is that demons are not pure evil, and humans are not pure good. It should have been ingrained in them already due to the Shinobi Wars, yet somehow they get this weird self righteous streak believing themselves to be 'good' while everything else is 'evil'."

The other blonde's jaw almost dislocated itself as her skewed vision of the world abruptly shattered, while Chouji still didn't get it yet, and said so. The Black Mage turned towards him and lifted one eyebrow, before elaborating.

"Think of it this way: what if, by chance, the Kyuubi attacked due to, say, its family being murdered in cold blood by Konoha Shinobi? The Kyuubi would be in the right, and yet Konoha labels it as some sort of avatar of evil without ever questioning _why_. The treatment I got as a child by the villagers would be considered 'evil' in just about every other place in the world, yet they felt somehow that they were in the right, and were doing 'the right thing'. I am not 'good' or 'evil' in any sense of the words. I am not what I think of myself as. I am not what others think of me as. I am what I perceive that others think of me as. I am sure Shikamaru can explain that to you later. Right now I have less than ten teams to 'eliminate', and less than three days to do so. The tower is northeast of here, head there to get your injuries tended."

With his monologue ended, he disappeared into a cyclone of air.

Team 10 had many things to think about in the days to come…

* * *

With Anko and the others…

It was the end of the fourth day, meaning the teams had exactly until noon the next day to get to the tower unless they were to be disqualified. So far, quite a few ninja both from Konoha and from the jounin senseis of other teams had come to watch the absolute demolition of parts of the Forest of Death. So far, they had seen huge bolts of lightning exploding from a cloudless sky, the likes of which couldn't even hope to be matched by storms in Kumo. The thunder caused by the blast knocked over several trees and shook the tower's foundations.

They were also witness to what could only be described as 'the lovechild of a tsunami and a tornado', which seemed to be a towering column of water that spun into a maelstrom of torn trees, as well as quite a bit of blood, if the red spots in parts of the behemoth were any indication. The odd construction collapsed into itself after a few minutes, causing a few watching it to give out sighs of relief that it didn't explode.

The oddest occurrence, however, is what happened at around midnight at the beginning of the final day.

A _squirrel_.

A colossal squirrel towering over the trees of the Forest of Death made completely out of controlled flame, which was picking up ninjas in its cute (yet superheated) claws and chomping on them. Oddly enough, there seemed to be a long haired golden-blonde rider standing atop the tip of one of its ears.

A piercing scream sounding like rusted senbon on a chalkboard, or perhaps a certain Haruno, echoed over the trees, scattering any remaining birds that had tried to brave the flaming squirrel.

The rider looked towards the sound, before urging the behemoth of molten flame towards the sound, not seeming at all fazed or uncomfortable with riding an entity made entirely of fire.

Anko and the rest of the jounin stared at the retreating trail of smoke from the squirrel, quite a few pondering at how the trees didn't catch fire.

The dumbfounded silence at the event that had never in the history of the Shinobi Countries been done was broken by a certain Snake Mistress, who was staring almost uncomprehendingly at the back of the flame squirrel, her popcorn forgotten.

"I totally want to have his child."

* * *

With Naruto…

The golden haired teen in question had jumped off his creation as soon as he neared the epicenter of the banshee scream. Coming through the trees, he was witness to what he was positive would be the best scene of his life so far.

Orochimaru (if the yellow eyed gaze with snake-like pupils would be an indicator) had given Uchiha Sasuke a cursed hickey, and his never ending tongue was slurping up either side of the Uchiha heir's face, who looked absolutely horrified, yet unable to move from the pain of the evil bite mark. Sakura was staring at the scene with a mixture between shock and disgust at what Orochimaru was doing, as well as envy and hatred for not being the one to do it first.

It took all of his self control to not burst out laughing, so he decided that he might as well just drive off the Sannin and take his team to the tower so he could get some sleep.

He tried hard to ignore the Sannin's claims of how Sasuke would come to him for power 'and something else' he had proclaimed with a disturbing wink. A hail of fireballs and water bullets drove off the Sannin, who simply believed it to be a squad or two of ANBU.

Jumping down from the trees once he was positive the snake pervert was gone, Naruto swiftly knocked out his two comrades and set off at a blurring pace towards the tower, his two teammates being carried on slabs of earth for a few reasons.

Mainly, he didn't want to touch the snake slobber, and he didn't want to have to carry their dead weight.

* * *

At the tower, predawn…

Not even paying attention to the poster-like scroll on the wall, the flaxen haired teen whipped out all ten scrolls he had, summoning five different jounin in a large poof of smoke.

The group just so happened to consist of Iruka, Anko, Ibiki, Hayate, and Genma.

The five stood there for a moment, taking in the state of Team 7 in shocked silence, before Iruka, Hayate, and Genma all jumped backwards to not have to deal with them. Sakura was muddied and mussed up, her hair a mess, and had a few splotches of dried blood on her clothing.

Sasuke had the snake hickey, he smelled of snake saliva, was missing his shirt and it seemed as if his pants were in the process of being ripped off. Quite a few nins shuddered to think of the implications of his state.

Naruto… looked pristine as ever, though from his shins down to his bare feet were covered in dried blood, looking as if he had waded through blood (which, coincidentally, wasn't far off of the truth). His hair, Anko noted, was as perfect as ever, and the Kyuubi doll's eyes were closed for once, which confused the nins to no end.

The plush doll was currently concentrating with all his considerable willpower to engrave the scene they had found Sasuke in into his mind. He never wanted to forget how his prayers were answered to have the Uchiha to feel irrevocably violated, and the face the prick had made as the snake pervert _licked _him.

Finally taking notice of the fact that their Uchiha Heir needed medical attention, Genma spat out his senbon, dashed forward with his sickly swordsman friend Hayate, and gently lifted the Uchiha off of the slab of earth which fell to the ground with a dull 'thud' after its passenger was taken. Iruka, realizing one of his former students also needed medical attention, took Sakura while the slab of earth carrying her fell to the ground soon after.

Anko and Ibiki walked forward in tandem, knelt before the Black Mage, and spoke at the same time.

"I want to bear your children."

"I want dibs on her first born if she bears your children."

The blonde looked down at them for a moment, his lips twitching spasmodically, while the doll's eyes snapped open. Both jounin were granted the one in a lifetime event of watching both the blonde and the plush toy erupting into laughter.

It was quite interesting. Naruto had a soft laugh that seemed to confuse the listener as it was equal parts sadism, malice, humor, and happiness.

The doll, not having human vocal ranges, was barking in laughter and rolling around in the blonde's arms, an action which would have startled the two if they weren't completely shell shocked at the fact that Naruto, aka the Demon Child, was laughing. Neither of the two would later remember the fox moving.

After calming down, Naruto finally spoke to the two, bringing their hopes crashing down.

"I'm sorry, but in this day and age, I'd rather not have any children. However… I believe I could do something for you."

Both jounin looked up in anticipatory glee, clasping their hands together at the same time.

"You both know better than to give in to the Council, so I have a proposition. You two are already involved with each other, correct?"

Anko scratched the back of her head sheepishly while giggling nervously, mumbling something about how she thought nobody knew that. Ibiki, however, simply nodded. He didn't care if anyone knew, as both he and Anko were irreplaceable, no matter how much the village hated Anko for training under Orochimaru when she was younger. Nobody could interrogate with better results than either Ibiki or Anko, so they were guaranteed to stay, regardless of what the Council wanted.

Naruto tapped his chin for a moment, before nodding to himself. He gave the two a half-smile before responding.

"I will give you both a scroll for your children to learn from, to teach them a general overview of the way that I fight. They'll have to make the style their own after they learn from it. I have a feeling that I will not reside in Konoha for much longer, so I'll give them to you now, and I trust that you won't give them to the Council, or share them. Think of it as a 'clan secret'. You both are too old and set in the ways of the ninja to learn the way I fight, unfortunately."

Before either of them could figure out what exactly they had just been given, the blonde rummaged around in his pockets before unsealing a scroll easily the size of the Forbidden Scroll of Seals, and handing it to the both of them. He quickly used a small ice needle and dropped a drop of both Anko's and Ibiki's blood on the scroll itself, before mumbling an incantation. A deep purple, nearly black light enveloped the scroll itself, before fading away.

The Black Mage started to walk away, calling over his shoulder.

"The scroll will only open for one of you or your descendants, and only if the blood is willingly given. It can only be handled and read by either of you or your descendants, and I've also placed a curse on your bloodlines. Should any of your descendants attempt to reveal the secrets of the scroll, they will immediately die from their souls being torn asunder. Should you choose to, you may adopt children into your 'clan' by a blood ritual inside that scroll so that they can be considered your descendants. This will prevent my secrets being spilled, while still passing on my legacy."

Later on, when they recovered from their shock, the two torture and interrogation jounin would squeal like fan people, and glomp each other in absolute giddy joy at the news.

Naruto, feeling tired after all the spells he cast in the forest, stumbled into one of the rooms specially provided for Chuunin examinees, locked and warded the door, and fell into bed, cradling the Kyuubi doll to him as he fell into slumber.

* * *

11:30 am…

After sufficiently resting, Naruto slipped into the shower to wash off all the blood and grime from 5 days in the Forest of Death. He would have done so the night before but… it wasn't his bed, so he didn't care if he got blood in it.

He had a feeling this day would be… interesting to say the least.

* * *

Tower Arena…

Kabuto was not having a good day.

Not at all.

It all started in the morning when he fell off the bed, and then the hot water was all used up.

And now Orochimaru-sama wanted him to stay in the competition to find out more about the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki.

Apparently Orochimaru didn't believe it was possible for the blonde to _not_ be a Jinchuuriki.

Ah well… good thing he had rigged the 'random' matches so that he would be fighting Naruto, and nobody else.

He was broken out of his musings of just how bad this day was going to be when a thin sheet of ice seemed to melt out of thin air next to him, with the visage of the blonde in question inside it.

He was starting to get really freaked out now.

When the blonde actually walked out of the sheet of ice, he knew he was fucked.

A few of the contestants flinched violently when the blonde appeared through the mirror, while Uchiha Sasuke simply glared at him for taking the spotlight.

Kyuubi doll situated atop his head, knee-length blonde hair swaying behind him in the breeze, he looked to be some sort of model. Unfortunately, the murderous glint in his eyes shattered that notion.

It was at this point of time that Kabuto started praying.

* * *

After finally realizing what the 'glowy hand thing' was that Yoroi was utilizing, Sasuke was able to use a plagiarized version of the Goken fighting style that he had copied from Lee, creating the **Shishi Rendan (Lion Combo/Barrage)**.

Up in the stands, Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai were able to hear the murmur of 'like teacher like student' that came from Naruto. Kurenai turned her red gaze towards him and quirked an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue.

The blonde turned to face her, and gave a simple reply, his fingers scratching a bit behind the fox plush's ears in his arms.

"Few realize what the Sharingan is truly meant to be. The way those two use it is a horrible crutch, they rely far too much on it. Itachi, however, only uses it as one should: he thinks of it as any other ninja tool, such as a kunai. He actually trains, and can fight without his eyes if need be. Gai-san, I apologize that your student's hard work was bastardized by the Uchiha."

The three jounin were quite shocked at the analysis of 'Konoha's Prized Doujutsu', and couldn't help but agree. They turned back to the matches to continue watching, though they were quite boring, causing Naruto to zone out during most of them up until a specific one.

Sakura and Ino had some sort of grudge match that Naruto tuned out, up until the point that Ino cut off most of her hair, using the strands to attempt to entrap her opponent so that she could possess her. Unfortunately, the possession was thrown off by Sakura's split personality, forcing the Yamanaka back into her own body. The sheer force of the repulsion jumpstarted Ino's survival instinct, her hands forming seals she had long ago forgotten due to her obsession with Sasuke.

Finishing the short seal chain, Ino went through an experience that she would later state as 'I wasn't sure what I was doing or saying, it was instinct'.

"**Magen: Jikogu Fukaikan (Demonic Illusion: Hell Nightmare)**"

Time seemed to stop in the arena, before Sakura paled dramatically, giving off a bloodcurdling scream and collapsing to the ground, unconscious and shaking.

Ino released the technique, somewhat in shock of what she just did, before a slight tingling made its way to her mind to let her know what the illusion did. She realized that she had taken the rather… traumatizing event in the forest, and used it as the illusion, forcing Sakura to believe she was the one that was impaled with ice spears, crushed by a rock hand, electrocuted by lightning and finally flayed with whips of water.

When the realization finally struck her in full force, she paled to an almost Orochimaru shade of white and ran to her sensei, barely realizing that she made it to the next round before she broke down crying next to Asuma.

The bearded jounin was rather perplexed by her distress, making out a few words like 'illusion' 'forest' 'Naruto' 'death' 'horrible'. He turned to Naruto and quirked an eyebrow, silently asking what the hell she was talking about that would scare her that much. Said blonde was rather amused by this turn of events, and gave out a slight chuckle before responding.

"Apparently she used a genjutsu that forced Sakura to experience what I did to save her team out in the forest. I believe that would be… having her chest squeezed in a fist of rock until the chest cavity collapses, then impaled in all eight vital points by ice spikes, electrocuted by arcing lightning bolts, and then flayed into a pile of flesh and blood with hair thin strands of water."

Kurenai and Gai, who were eavesdropping, gasped in shock and slight disgust at the brutality of it, before looking down at the poor blonde who was still crying on the ground, holding her knees to her chest. Kurenai absently noted to herself that maybe this would break Ino of her fangirl nature and allow her to be a competent ninja. Judging by the genjutsu she used, maybe she should offer some genjutsu lessons to her...

The Black Mage turned back to the matches, realizing there were only three left, so he was either going to be paired with Hyuuga Hinata, Hyuuga Neji, Yakushi Kabuto, Sabaku no Gaara, or Rock Lee. He was hoping to go against Gaara to test how a Jinchuuriki's power would fare against him, but he wouldn't mind letting others have a go with the homicidal tanuki container.

He looked up at the board to realize that he was going up against Yakushi Kabuto, and let a malicious smirk tug at the edges of his lips. This was just too good to be true! He supposed the 'Genin' must have rigged the fights so that Orochimaru could spy on him so… might as well give him a show.

He broke out into maniacal laughter that had two snake-using jounin looking at him in reverent awe as well as respect, and most of the Konoha spectators paling in fear. Deciding he would go for shock value, he teleported with an elaborate whirlwind of miniature ice mirrors. The Sannin had to shove his tongue back into his mouth to prevent from salivating. Who knew the container could use Hyouton?!

Kabuto was sweating heavily in fear, shaking a little as he stood a decent distance away from the blonde, waiting for the proctor to start the match. As soon as the proctor called out 'Hajime (start)', he activated his **Chakra no Mesu (Chakra Scalpels)**, planning on attempting to cripple his opposition before he could die.

His opponent, however, simply stood there with his smile widening every second.

Kabuto was unaware, but the rest of the spectators were able to see crystals of ice appear all around the arena, multiplying at an amazing rate every second that Naruto apparently wasn't doing anything. As Kabuto leapt forward to try to end the match quickly, the blonde tossed his doll into the air, lifting both hands as a violet aura sprung to life around him.

Most of the audience were impressed (and a little afraid) at the aura, though ninjas could feel no chakra coming from it. All of the ice crystals buried themselves underground as his hands slammed downward, coincidentally at the same time that the doll hit the ground. A single sentence was said, Kabuto still in the air from his leap, before the scene descended into chaos.

"In honor of Haku; **Hyouton: Jigoku no Touketsu Suru Mori (Ice Element: Frozen Forest of Hell)**"

Hundreds of thousands of spears of ice seemed to explode into existence from underneath the arena, branching off multiple times as they grew to a height of thirty feet, ending just below the area the spectators were watching from. In the space of less than a second, the arena was literally, a frozen forest. Kabuto was jumping from one spear to the other, trying to avoid being impaled on one of the many millions of 'branches' and 'twigs' in the forest.

Naruto swiped the doll from the ground, and walked to the closest 'trunk' of an ice tree, before melting into it. The audience was witness to what happened next, as they all saw reflections of Naruto in every single branch and twig of the forest, the feral smile upon his lips.

For only a few seconds, he disappeared.

In those few seconds, the most blood chilling scream of agony was heard throughout the village, causing all the spectators to get a chill down their spines. Team 10 were the only ones who knew exactly what caused it, and all three of them spoke at the same time to their jounin sensei while they waited for the forest to melt.

"Kabuto-san is dead."

The forest was starting to melt now at a pretty rapid pace, but slow enough to bring up good dramatic tension. Asuma turned to his three students, while the other jounin eavesdropped on the conversation, wondering how a Genin team knew what happened.

"How do you know that?"

Shikamaru was the one to speak, as Ino was having flashbacks, and Chouji was trying to forget the memory by eating. His voice lacked its customary drawl, and faltered a bit as he, too, remembered what happened the last time anyone heard that sound.

"The last time we heard that scream was in the forest, when Naruto flayed a ninja alive. Nothing was left of him but a pile of flesh and a bloodstain before he pulled it underground. The only way to make that sound is to die an excruciating death, screaming out your last moments."

The forest finally finished melting; the water suspended in the air in multiple balls the size of a tennis ball to prevent the floor from being slippery. In the middle of the ring, surrounded by holes from the 'roots' of the trees as well as several hundred thousand sharp objects of varying elements, were two figures. The first was Naruto, covered head to toe in blood, and he seemed to be slightly amused at something, while the second figure was a bloodied mess of skin, clothes, and hair. Finally, Naruto spoke.

"Hm… regenerative capabilities? I was so sure that I had killed you with that, too…"

The bloodied mass seemed to gurgle a bit, still clearly alive, though not by much. The proctor was just about to end the match when a mass of earth, rock, and concrete sprung to life next to Naruto, molding itself into a vaguely humanoid shape. The figure wrapped both its arms around the mass of Kabuto, giving off several sickly 'crunch' sounds as it 'hugged' it, before pulling it down underground with it. The blonde flicked his head, a spray of blood splashing over the proctor from his hair as he turned with a quirked eyebrow, not perturbed at all by all the blood.

"I believe I win, seeing as how I… eliminated… my opponent. Correct?"

Genma nodded dumbly, still in shock at the horrific scene before calling a ten minute intermission to fix the arena due to all the holes marring the ground, making it look like Swiss cheese. As Naruto left, several of the globules of water surrounded him in a large globe of water. The orb swiftly changed from a sky blue color to a deep red as Naruto exited it, devoid of all blood on his person. He let the globe splash against the ground behind him as he ascended the stairway back up to the spectator deck, quickly drying himself and Kyuubi off with a miniscule amount of fire.

After the intermission was over, the last two matches were quite boring in comparison to most. Hinata was pummeled by her cousin Neji, and didn't think ahead enough to use the seal on his forehead against him. She lost, Neji won, and she was sent to the emergency room to make sure her organs were alright after the one sided fight.

Gaara and Lee's fight was rather odd. Gaara stood still, his sand attacking for him, while Lee bounced around off the walls, trying to kick through the **Suna no Yoroi (Armor of Sand)**. He eventually was forced to use five of the Celestial Gates in an attempt to win, but Gaara softened the blow with his sand, allowing him to live though he was severely wounded. Lee was unconscious due to the pain, his body having undergone far too much strain from using the Gates at his age. Gaara sent out one last attack, hoping to kill his opponent while he was unconscious, but someone interfered.

Naruto, seeing as the Jinchuuriki was going for the kill on an opponent who was knocked out used the remaining globes of water to encapsulate the limp body of Lee, cushioning it from any jarring as a wave of intense flame devoured the sand, crystallizing it into glass.

Many from Konoha were shocked that the 'Demon' was showing some form of compassion, though his apathetic face gave nothing away. He hopped down from the viewer's deck to the water globe that left Lee's head unguarded due to suffocation concerns. He lifted the body from the ground, forcing it to hover behind him as he turned to Gaara, and spoke.

"I may not be very compassionate, but I do have a sense of honor. Your opponent was knocked out with no way to defend himself and you attempted to assassinate him, even though the proctor would have declared you the winner. My match was an exception; the opponent could regenerate from fatal wounds, and probably would've been on his feet ready to fight me again in less than three minutes."

He then turned and began to inspect Lee's body for any serious injuries before nodding to himself, and jumped back up to the viewer's deck, the globe of water following him through the air. He turned to Gai, and cracked a slight smile.

"He will be alright; he just needs to rest for a week or so. The water is preventing any movement from jarring his overworked body. It would be advised to accompany me to the hospital after the exams, as I doubt they would assist me in any way."

With that done, all the contestants were called back into the arena to draw numbers for the final matches in one month.

The matches ended up as:

Yamanaka Ino vs Nara Shikamaru

Uchiha Sasuke vs Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto

Sabaku no Kankurou vs Sabaku no Temari

Hyuuga Neji vs Sabaku no Gaara

Aburame Shino vs Inuzuka Kiba

Naruto and Gai headed off to the hospital with the Lee-bubble in front of them. Naruto was contemplating what to do for the month they were given, and decided he might as well ask Yamato for a tip on Mokuton (Wood Element), seeing as his ice manipulation seemed… pretty damn close to finished.

The Kyuubi on his shoulder was contemplating what his charge could do with the element of wood, and planning on different ways to use it against the Uchiha in the finals.

Oh the possibilities.

* * *

Author's Note: I believe illusions in Naruto should give feedback of what the illusion does to the target, so that the caster knows what the target went through to better prepare for subsequent illusions. I'm not saying they should experience the illusion, but more like for things such as **Magen: Narakumi (Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing)** which shows the enemy their worst nightmare, the one who cast the genjutsu should just _know _what it showed them. That way, they could further enthrall them with illusions that pertained to what they already saw.

Once again I'm terribly sorry for the stupid moving incident, and I will probably be updating every week or two.

Enjoy!


	7. Finals and Invasion

Author's Note: Woo! Done with another chapter. I hope you all enjoy it!

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Spell/Jutsu"**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or the Final Fantasy series. Damn.

* * *

One Month Break and Invasion

Many of the denizens of Konoha looked upon Naruto with varying emotions. Mainly, it was an odd cesspool of fear, hatred, greed, and awe. Of course, to watch the emotions play out on their faces was damn hilarious to Kyuubi.

The blonde Black Mage was currently on his way to the Hokage tower to ask the Hokage about where he could find Yamato, while thinking of different elemental combinations in his head. He was replaying what he felt when Gaara was fighting, as he swore he could tell how the sand was manipulated. The way he moved the sand was both a solid and a liquid at the same time; innumerable tiny particles of sand working together to move as the wind yet strike as the stone.

Something seemed to click in his mind when he thought about it that way.

Quickly relaying his thoughts to the plush doll situated in his arms, causing the doll to smirk at him.

"It seems as if you found the truth of the sand manipulation."

The blonde had to fight his instincts to either hug the life out of the doll or jump for joy. Instead, he decided to give a full blown grin, right as he walked into the Hokage's office.

* * *

Inside the Hokage's Office…

Sarutobi was, unfortunately, in the middle of a meeting with quite a few Jounin who were also in a mixture of emotion, though different from the other denizens.

Among them were Anko, Kurenai, and Kakashi, though there were quite a few unknowns in there too.

Many of the Jounin were concerned that the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki was gaining too much power, angry that he dare to insinuate that he was related to their beloved Fourth, fearful that the village wouldn't be able to control Naruto for their own gains, and smug, believing that they could get the Hokage to force Naruto to teach the Uchiha.

Anko and Kurenai were just standing off in a corner, trying hard not to snicker at the swarm of demon-hating ninja in front of the Hokage's desk. Kakashi was at the forefront of the swarm, however.

The door opened rather plainly, and the blonde simply strode in with a beaming smile on his face, blinding many due to changing toothpaste brands to that of Gai to get the full 'youthful smile' effect.

The Hokage, used to such smiles from Gai and his surrogate son/apprentice Lee, was able to recover from the smile effects quicker than others.

The blonde waded through the masses, his smile disappearing as he made it to the Hokage's desk and asked his rather simple question.

The aged Hokage slipped the teen a piece of paper with Yamato's address and bade him a good day as the ninja finally got the spots out of their vision.

Unfortunately for them, the object of their ire had already jumped out the window and teleported on the way to the ground, evading their gazes.

Unfortunately for the poor fruit vendor below, the 'Demon Child' was heading on a crash course for his cart before he was enveloped in a ball of fire that morphed into the visage of the Kyuubi of legend, scaring the poor man to death by heart attack. Both the Kyuubi and Naruto found this hilarious.

* * *

Yamato's Apartment…

The residence was rather plain, considering the fact that the ex-ANBU had the Shodaime's bloodline, and therefore the council would've wanted to suck up to him. It was located in the 'ninja' section of housing; the village having separated the two so that the non-shinobi wouldn't have to deal with the 'baggage' that the ninja tend to bring home. Apparently bloodstained clothing, copious amounts of bleach to cleanse weapons and such, as well as the 'just got finished with an assassination' smell that tends to follow shinobi around aren't aspects of a 'good neighbor'. Who knew?

The blonde simply knocked on the door and waited, observing the surrounding area and taking note of a few ANBU following him around. He mentally shrugged, dismissing them but keeping subconscious tabs on them just in case.

When Yamato answered the door, he was greeted to a rather odd sight. Standing on his doorstep was Naruto, the Kyuubi doll cradled in the crook of his right arm, with his hair tied back in a high ponytail. It was rather surreal, until he realized what he may be there for. He ushered the blonde inside with a slight smirk, rather proud that someone else may finally be able to use Mokuton.

Unfortunately for Yamato, the genetic engineering that was used to insert the Shodaime's Mokuton bloodline into his cellular structure had the adverse effect of making him sterile, leaving him unable to bear children. This was a rather amusing kick to the crotch of the bloodline-brownnosing council who, for a euphoric few days, had delusions of an army of wood-using ninja.

The inside of the apartment was rather Spartan in design. There was no decoration that had no functionality, and all items within the house were used on a regular basis to maximize efficiency. Arguably, the only decorative quirk was the ANBU mask left on a hook next to the door, presumably for quick recovery on the way out. However, since he was no longer in ANBU… there was no real use for it anymore, though it would make a nice conversational piece.

After bidding the Black Mage to sit, Yamato headed into the kitchen to make some tea, leaving the blonde to his musings.

When he came back with the tea less than ten minutes later, he was witness to a rather interesting scene.

Naruto had conjured a Go board, using a block of dense, slightly glowing blue block of ice as the board itself. The black pieces were created with Earth manipulation, crafting them out of incredibly dense obsidian stones. The white pieces were created in the same way, only out of white marble.

Currently, Naruto was contemplating his next move against an unknown opponent who had a slight edge over him.

The Jounin almost dropped the tea set when the plush doll _snickered_ and proclaimed that there was no way to win now.

Naruto, having noticed Yamato's presence, banished the Go board, mumbling something about winning the next game. He picked up the plush doll and sat back on the sofa, seeming more amused than shocked or irritated that his doll had just spoken.

The ex-ANBU sat across the table from the blonde with the tea in between them, and gave a look that clearly demanded 'Explain'.

"Would you rather listen to the long story, or the short story that encompasses all the main points?"

Yamato thought it over for a few moments, before replying.

"Short. The ANBU outside will start to get antsy if you stay here for too long, thinking you must've killed me or something."

Naruto nodded a bit, before launching into his story, scratching the plush fox's ears a bit.

"The Kyuubi is not dead at all. I instead did a ritual that removed him from my body and sealed him within the doll. I have complete control over his youki, and can control the size of the doll itself. I also can control his every movement, making him a slave within his own body, but I give him freedom of movement, as making him a slave would be pretty cruel even by his standards. He's been my companion like this since the age of 3 when I was kicked out of Konoha, and has helped me with a few ideas on my techniques due to the fact that he has much more experience with such things. I'm probably not going to be here for much longer as I feel that the village isn't improving itself at all, and prolonged exposure to the idiocy and greed will probably force me to pull an Itachi and destroy everything. Knowing this, will you still help me with the Mokuton? I'm pretty sure you already know my Hyouton is nearly mastered."

The Mokuton user leaned back in his chair, massaging the bridge of his nose to attempt to stave off the headache he was sure was going to come on. He quickly weighed his options and had a slight mental debate with himself while Naruto amused himself by floating globes of different elements above his head. He could see sea-blue water, light green wind, vibrant yellow lightning, rich brown earth, crimson fire, light blue ice, and the beginnings of a beige-brown hybrid that looked suspiciously like sand…

He sipped his rapidly cooling tea, savoring the flavor a bit as he came to a conclusion.

The stray thought of _'I just know this is going to bite me in the ass' _went through his head as he opened his mouth.

"I'll give you a hint to it, and assist you to a beginning proficiency in the element, but after that you're on your own. I might've stunted my growth by learning from scrolls, and I won't let the element go to waste with you."

He held out his hand and channeled chakra into his palm, taking advantage of the stunned silence to show exactly how he created the trees.

A deep green glow enveloped his palm, condensing into a tiny sphere in the shape of a seed, before solidifying into a real seed. He lifted his other hand over the seed and sent chakra through that palm, gently coaxing the seed into growing.

Less than a minute later, he had a tree sapling in the palm of his hand, and he was breathing a little bit heavily, due to the taxing nature of growing the tree slowly instead of forcing it to explode into growth.

The blonde was deep in thought, staring at the sapling with a pensive expression before speaking.

"Are you only able to create that specific type of tree with your wood element?"

The Jounin was hard pressed not to slam face first into the ground at the hidden question within the question: _"Can you create other plants with it?"_

Scratching the back of his head sheepishly, he answered.

"Well… yes. The tree is composed entirely of my chakra and given a solid form, so I don't have to carry seeds with me. I heard that the Shodai actually created the surrounding flora around Konoha, so I guess either he was really good with his chakra, or he had the seeds for it. All of the scrolls on Mokuton involve the same tree… I never gave much thought to it."

One thought was rather blaring in his mind: _'Why the FUCK didn't I ever try to make different trees?!'_

The blonde nodded a little bit absentmindedly before holding his own hand out, palm up. A lavender glow formed around it, condensing into a purple seed, surprising the Jounin. A bead of sweat appeared upon the Black Mage's brow as he carefully manipulated his mana to do his bidding, the seed sprouting into a rather… demonic… looking sapling. The bark was jagged and sharp-looking, a deep violet color, while the leaves were a sickly green. A few flowers had sprouted from the young sapling as well, a fine green mist leaking out of the seemingly innocent white blossoms.

The fox doll stared at the plant for a moment before erupting into a fit of laughter, declaring (in between wheezes for non existent breath) that he seemed to turn even 'wimpy flowers' into deadly weapons. This statement was punctuated by the fact that anything that came within five feet of the young sapling was subjected to a cloud of noxious green gas via the blossoms.

Yamato had trouble keeping his jaw off the floor at this. The blonde had learned the beginnings of Mokuton by just _watching _him grow a single sapling! And he somehow created some sort of super-evil plant thing! Granted, the exertion of doing something for the first time took it's toll... but still! He was hard pressed to keep from pouting at the unfairness of it all, and resigned himself to the fact that, if he could learn Hyouton in a month or so, then he could probably learn Mokuton in that time as well…

Naruto had one thing to say.

"I was going for something man-eating, not poison spewing…"

Poor Kyuubi and Yamato slammed into the floor face first at that proclamation. Unfortunately, the blonde then began to coo and pet the rather lethal looking sapling, tickling the branches like one would an infant. His amethyst eyes had lit up in what could almost be… _motherly love?!_

If Yamato didn't have a slight concussion from the facefault, consequently feeling as if he were dreaming, his heart would've stopped at that. Kyuubi thought it was gut-wrenchingly hilarious.

Reversing the growth process was quite another thing altogether to learn, however, and required a bit of thinking to figure it out. Yamato was, at the moment, indisposed and in a bit of a daze from the slight concussion.

'_Creating the seed requires Earth and Water elements to blend and compress. Earth is the framework, the exterior, and is what makes most of it up. Water is simply the veins and arteries, providing energy to grow/move/attack. To force it to grow, one must pour more Water into it and forcing it into all directions at once to make the plant grow evenly. To reverse growth would be to drain all Water back to the center, and recompress the Earth around it. The Seed itself is nearly impossible to break open, as it's incredibly dense, whereas the tree is much easier to destroy due to the fact that you barely need to add more Earth to it while it's growing. To change the plant type, I need to place my intent into my magic, and allow the mana to create it for me, and remember how it was formed so that I may recreate it later.'_

The vicious purple tree-flower thing seemed to implode, reforming into a seed into his hand before dissipating into its respective energies, becoming reabsorbed into Naruto's body. Thinking about it a bit, he decided to try for a vine, one that could ensnare and disable.

The mana swirled into his palm, taking on a slightly brighter hue and becoming a pale purple seed that began to grow at a decent rate into what could be aptly described as 'ivy from hell'. The vine seemed to be made out of hundreds of fibers of plant tissue that wove into each other, making it much like rope in toughness, and was an odd shade of cement gray. The leaves were quite… sticky, for lack of a better word. Each leaf looked about the same length as a kunai, though they were a bit wider, and colored a rather bland shade of slate gray. After gently prodding one with a finger, Naruto found it quite hard to make it let go as the leaf actually curled around his hand and attempted to entrap it before backing off, sensing that it was attacking its 'master'.

Yamato broke out of his daze by this point, mostly because he was witness to something rather weird. Naruto had apparently set the vine on the plush doll, and it was now growing at a rapid pace in an attempt to cover the entire room to make sure it could catch the Kyuubi within its grasp. The doll was having quite a bit of fun outmaneuvering the vines and leaves, and almost seemed to _pout_ when Naruto had to stop since he was getting worn out with directing the vines and growing them at the same time.

The blonde wiped the sweat from his head, before giving Yamato a rather rare smile. Not just a tugging at the edges of his lips, but a real smile. The vines swiftly retracted into the seed he had at the beginning, before it dissipated back into his body. Having learned the basics, he decided he should leave before he imposed upon his host more than he already had. As he got up and held out his hand for Yamato, he decided he should return a favor with a favor.

"You don't need to carry seeds around with you, although I'm pretty sure the Shodai did. My plants may look… otherworldly simply because my energy isn't chakra, though it isn't youki either. I'm curious as to how yours would look. Instead of forcing your chakra into molding how you see fit, try to project your intent into it as you create the seed. Think of it as… killing intent in a way, only project your intent to 'bind', 'disable', 'poison', 'deadly', or whatever instead of just normal killing intent. With enough practice, I'm sure you could project the intent to 'grow vines and fire poisonous darts from innocent looking blossoms' for more detail."

Yamato nodded a little in contemplation, before attempting it. He usually just projected the subconscious intent to 'grow trees', 'wood clone', 'wooden bars', or 'wood house'. It was never anything more specific than that, as he had learned from scrolls that never stated to do anything aside from the techniques themselves. This time, he repeated a mantra in his head to make a 'binding tree'. The seed itself looked quite… mundane… but when it exploded into a young tree, it looked quite different from his other trees. It was pretty young, since they were indoors, but it looked to be in the shape of a Sakura tree. The branches, however, moved on their own and grabbed Naruto, pulling him towards the trunk where vines that looked more like steel cables wrapped around his legs and arms. He quickly released the technique, and reddened a little in embarrassment that his creation had attacked his houseguest without warning, though the blonde merely gave an amused chuckle.

"Your creation is rather good… not many would think a Sakura tree would attack them. You probably need to relearn control, though, as your 'new' plants will probably be unruly the first few times you make them. You remember the feeling you got when you made that seed, right?"

The Jounin smiled a little and nodded, contemplating a bit before answering.

"It's hard to put in words… I wanted it to attack, but not harm. I didn't really care how it… manifested… aside from the fact that it would incapacitate."

Naruto's lips twitched a bit into a smirk, before nodding. He cocked his head to the side, before bowing to the Jounin, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"It seems the ANBU felt your chakra spike and are heading here. I sincerely thank you for your help, and should I find others who may learn from this, I will teach them in hopes that the Mokuton element will never die out completely. I believe we both have training to get to, so I bid you farewell."

With that goodbye, he plucked the plush doll from the couch and slipped into a black void, disappearing just as the ANBU smashed down his door.

Yamato turned to look at the ANBU, noticing it wasn't just one or two single ANBU, but _four squads_. His simple reaction was said in a deadpan tone.

"The door wasn't locked."

* * *

Naruto holed himself up in his apartment for the next three weeks, learning all he could about the wood element, and mentally reminded himself that they should change it from 'wood' to 'nature'. He discovered a love for gardening, which the Kyuubi would've called 'wimpy' if it wasn't tending to plants that were potentially dangerous. The Kyuubi was rather destructive by nature, and the creation of life didn't really appeal to him. The elemental automatons were fine, as they weren't actually alive; they were more like puppets created out of the elements to do Naruto's bidding.

The plants, on the other hand, were quite alive. He had spent three days straight trying to find a way to change them from mana constructs to real living things. He succeeded, but it took so much mana to do so that he made a mental note that it was only for non-combat purposes, much like his self sufficient flame that consumed no oxygen, yet would burn for all time (or until he took it down) and his never melting frost. He supposed he could make an electrical charge that never lost power, or a permanent wind, but didn't really want to try it. The flame and frost were for the statue of Lulu, and were mostly decorative in purpose. An electrical charge that never lost power would be sought after by many, simply for the chance of a source of unlimited power for homes and such. The permanent wind would screw up all the global winds.

At least the plants would die… eventually… he wasn't quite sure what their lifespan was, but figured he would reabsorb them should he have to.

He was on his way to the Hokage's office, as the old man apparently needed him for something. He said it was important. The Kyuubi was currently out… somewhere… said he wanted to find something. Naruto had asked if the doll wanted his size increased, but he had declined, stating it was a 'covert operation' and requested that his color be changed so that he didn't stick out as much.

The Black Mage had relented, bending the light around the doll with his mana to make it so that light seemed to be absorbed into it, causing the doll to look a dull black color.

The blonde had decided to change his wardrobe, stating that spending so long with the same outfit made him feel boring.

He had decided to attempt to look completely androgynous, as both the Kyuubi and he thought it was hilarious when people mistook the blonde for a woman. He now wore a black battle kimono with a gray obi, and silver trimmings. The kimono itself was quite ingenious in design. The innermost layer was made out of a fine silk, with a middle layer of metal fishnet, and the outer layer was made of a strange yet sturdy cloth. It stood up to quite a few kunai tests, most of the kunai having a slightly difficult time penetrating the first layer.

The kimono was actually easy to move around in, surprisingly, and he got the mandatory 'Black Mage sleeve effect' since the sleeves were wide at the ends, ending about an inch past his fingertips. The kimono ended halfway down his shins, though it had slits up the sides up to mid-thigh for easier movement. His feet remained barefoot for silent movement, not at all effected by tree hopping or other abrasive or rough terrain due to covering them with a fine, yet dense, layer of earth that left no footprints when he moved.

An odd change in his appearance had started, though he brushed it off as a trick of the light, or perhaps his imagination. The roots of his hair, instead of being the same golden blonde as the rest, had become a dead bone white color, though they were less than a centimeter long. He chose to attempt to ignore the change, as he was sure it would either reverse itself or make the cause known before too long.

* * *

Hokage's Office…

Naruto had forgone going through the secretary for the day, instead teleporting via an odd **Shunshin (Body Flicker) **directly into the office. He appeared by what looked to be a swirl of sakura blossoms, rather odd seeing as how they weren't in bloom… and sakura blossoms aren't supposed to be purple…

There were only two people in the office that day, aside from the paperwork that could almost be considered an entity, seeing as it seemed to be grinning smugly at the Hokage. The first person was the Hokage himself, though he seemed to have a perverse blush on the bridge of his nose, and a conspicuous orange book was poorly hidden under some papers on his desk.

The second person was quite tall, at least 6'2", broad shouldered, and had a mane of spiky white hair that trailed down to his knees. He was wearing what looked to be a unique hitai-ate (forehead protector) with the kanji for 'Oil' on it, and it appeared to have two blunted horns on it. He had a peachy skin tone, unlike the Sandaime's tanned brown, and had two red 'tear tracks' on his face. He was wearing what looked to be green and red kabuki style clothing, and was wearing wooden geta, as opposed to shinobi sandals.

Apparently this teleport dumbfounded the two people in the office, as he had to clear his throat to break the daze.

The taller man, who seemed to be in his 40's or so, immediately appeared next to him with a lecherous grin on his face and hearts in his eyes. The man attempted to smile winningly as he bowed and spoke.

"So beautiful! I simply must put you in my books!"

A twitch was beginning to form in the blonde's left eye as he turned his head slowly towards the Hokage, who seemed to be halfway in between mortified embarrassment, and incredible amusement. Naruto's voice was deadpan with an edge of malice in it as he spoke to Sarutobi.

"If he's important, call him off before I kill him, Hokage-san."

The aged Hokage, quickly regaining his dignity, coughed politely as he addressed the white haired lecher.

"Jiraiya-kun… this is Naruto. _He_ came here because I called for _him_."

The lecher immediately paled to a shade of white that would make bleach jealous, and seemed to teleport to the Hokage's side in an instant, looking a little green.

Naruto… was apathetic to the situation, and the twitch hadn't gone away yet.

"You called me here for a reason. Please explain."

Sarutobi, remembering why he had called the blonde in, shifted into 'Hokage mode'. He folded his hands on his desk and leveled a piercing gaze over them at the Black Mage, before speaking in his 'authoritative' voice.

"This is Jiraiya, the Gama Sennin (toad hermit). He wishes to help instruct you, as he promised it to your father."

The tic in the blonde's left eye started twitching out of control, the only indicator that he was getting annoyed.

"Why… _exactly_… do I care? Minato was my sire, nothing more. He cannot be called a father as he did not raise me. I have no ideas on the whereabouts of Kushina, but if she's not dead yet then I'll be glad to do the honors for her absolutely award winning job of maternal care."

Jiraiya seemed startled at this, as he was just getting details on the kid from the Hokage when said kid had used some sort of weird **Shunshin**. _'I expected a mini-Minato; dense, honorable, bright and cheerful, as well as a heart of gold. This… this is like an Itachi. Cold, calculating, deadly… androgynous… The only indicators of him being Minato's son is the golden hair. The skin tone came from Kushina. In fact… the facial structure is from neither of them… he looks more like a Hyuuga. And purple eyes…?'_

While he was analyzing his 'new apprentice', the Hokage finally noticed something.

"Where's Kyuubi?"

Jiraiya nearly fell over from the implications of that statement, immediately plotting on a way to check the seal.

"Kyuu-kun said he wanted to go check on something and left. I expect him to be back by the finals. However, you interrupted my training, and I would like to know exactly _why _it was so important to do so."

The Sennin immediately went on high alert at this. _'He wasn't supposed to be on good terms with the fox! And what did he mean by 'go and check on something' and 'be back by the finals'? Is the fox loose from the seal?!'_

Sarutobi was skillfully ignoring the panicked looks from his ex-student, and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, though on the inside he was cackling like a madman at his student's anxiety.

"Jiraiya here wants to teach you. Isn't that right…?"

Finally getting the chance to introduce himself 'properly', the Gama Sennin immediately went about summoning a large frog and did a little dance on top of it, complete with mysteriously appearing confetti and spotlights from nowhere. With the dance finished, he noticed that the blonde was giving him a baleful glare that practically oozed 'You Waste My Time'. Clearing his throat and regaining his (remaining) dignity, he spoke.

"Yes. I promised your father that I'd teach you toad summoning, as well as a few other things. It's incredibly hard to track you down, you know that? Nobody seems to know where you live aside from Sarutobi-sensei here."

The blonde simply leveled another glare at him, before speaking in a drawl.

"The point of being a ninja is to deceive and to not be seen. The only person I have to answer to is the Hokage, not the council, not my idiotic 'teacher' who favors the Uchiha and plots to kill me when he thinks I'm not listening. The Hokage is the only one who needs to know where I live. I do not wish to learn my sire's techniques, as they not only wouldn't be of use for me, but I believe in creating a style of fighting unique to me, not using others' techniques. Summoning is worthless to me as well; it's binding another being to my will and having them fight for me. I don't care if you say that they want to fight, because they aren't appearing of their own free will. While I don't believe shinobi have to 'play fair' by any means, I do have a personal code of honor. If I am going to fight, I will do so by my own merits, not using others in my stead. Is there something else you need, Hokage-san?"

Jiraiya seemed unnerved at this, as his 'perfect Naruto' dream was being shattered right before his eyes. He still had one trump card, though…

"Gaki (brat), I can teach you how to use your other chakra. I need to check your seal first, though."

Jewel-like amethyst eyes rolled in annoyance at the poorly-veiled attempt to see his non existent seal.

"Jiraiya-san… the seal is gone. I do not have another source of chakra, nor do I use chakra at all. Neither do I use youki, or demon energy. I use something else all my own. The more you try to soften me up, the less respect I give you, as not only is it quite pathetic, but it makes you seem haughty. If you want to ask me something, ask, if you need to say something, say it. Since you haven't been here in over a decade, I give you my word you won't be obliterated like Danzo, who attempted to use me as a weapon for his Ne (Root) force."

The Sennin blinked rapidly, before giving a mental shrug and going with it.

"First of all, what happened to you? You don't have the facial structure or the eye color of your parents. What happened to the seal? Why are you on good terms with the fox? Is it influencing you? How the hell did you kill Danzo and live? And how do you not use chakra?"

The blonde gave a slight smirk, his voice regaining a bit of emotion in the form of amusement.

"In order: the village threw me out at age 3, and Hokage-san presumed me dead, which voided his law and allowed the children to be corrupted by the propaganda. I had Kyuu-kun infuse youki to my eyes and slightly change my bone structure so that I wouldn't look like a clone of my sire. I grew my hair out to this length so that it quit spiking. I did a ritual at a young age that bound the seal into a plush doll, and forced the Kyuubi's soul and youki into it. I can control him like a slave, but that's just cruel, so I allow him free reign so long as he doesn't cause too much trouble. He's actually an interesting person to know, and he helped raise me. He has influenced me, but only by showing me the merits of sadism against enemies, as well as the merits of a good fight. I am not destructive by nature, though many will say my techniques counter that statement. I killed Danzo in a display of power in the Council room to force them to back off, and they respect that… for now. I use a different energy that I will not go into, and only a select few people will ever learn it. Anything else?"

The Sennin had only two questions left.

"Why did the Kyuubi attack, and I still want to apprentice you. I promised your old man."

The slight tugging at the edges of the blonde's lips turned into a full blown smirk, his eyes sparkling in mischief and slight malevolence.

"To quote the Kyuubi himself: 'I was there, they were there, I wanted to fight'. I doubt I could learn anything from you, but you seem like a good ninja. Maybe I could bounce ideas off of you?"

The Sennin had to stifle a snicker at the reason behind so much devastation. Sure, he lost his favorite student, as well as quite a large chunk of Konoha's populace… but it was still quite funny. The past is the past, and hindsight is always perfect, so it's worthless to brood on it.

"Why don't you think you could learn anything from me?"

Naruto looked over at the Hokage, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"You didn't tell him anything about me, did you?"

The Hokage simply shook his head in the negative, and puffed his pipe.

The blonde sighed in mock-exasperation before speaking again.

"I wiped out 300 hired mercenaries in a single technique. The only remains after that was a bloodstain on the bridge. No body parts. I can use seven of the nine known elements to a decent degree, and I can manipulate the eighth in a basic manner. I can cause more destruction than the Kyuubi itself, but I need rest after doing so, whereas the Kyuubi causes the destruction through physical force."

Jiraiya was shocked at first, before speaking with an edge of suspicion.

"Prove that you can control the elements. I don't believe you."

Naruto simply raised both hands together, palm up in a cupping motion, before his body flared a light purple. Five perfect globes started to rotate in a circle above his head, each about the size of a softball. One was a deep sea-blue, and rippled in a liquid manner. One was a rich brown, and looked like compact dirt and rock. One was a light green, and gave off slight breezes around it. One was a crimson red-orange, and gave off a wave of moderate heat. The final one was a vibrant yellow that crackled and sparked with electricity.

At his heels, a tree sprouted and grew into a beautiful, if unnatural, sakura tree that towered over him by about three feet. The blossoms were black in color, the wood a pure white. A helix of sand enveloped him, swirling around him protectively. Finally, an icy mist enveloped his feet, several spires of ice coalescing out of the mist.

Both the Hokage and the Sennin stood there shocked, before all of the effects were reabsorbed back into the blonde, who merely smiled.

"I believe that is proof. I still need to train in Mokuton, and master Hyouton. Mokuton is only a third of the way finished, as I can't cause growth in an instant like Yamato can. However, Yamato is currently relearning a large part of Mokuton that he never found: learning how to create different plants besides the single species of tree he kept making. And finally, I need to train in Sand manipulation. Badly. I only have a basic knowledge of it from watching Gaara fight, as well as figuring out for myself how he does it, and replicating it without the use of an insane sand tanuki's youki. That reminds me, Hokage-san… I believe there's going to be an invasion of some sort. I saw Orochimaru in the forest, and he gave some sort of perverted snake hickey to Sasuke. I think Hatake-san sealed it, but, in his words, the seal works on the belief that the seal has no power. If Sasuke believes he can get power from the seal, then the containment breaks."

With his warning delivered, he disappeared in a storm of flower petals, leaving a simple note for Jiraiya with his address on it, and to flare his chakra if he ever visits so that he could disable the defenses.

* * *

One week later…

The final week was spent further training the Mokuton, and Kyuubi had apparently found what he was looking for. It looked like a rather gothic tome, and seemed to be in good shape. When he asked what it was and how old it was, the Kyuubi's answers threw him for a loop.

"It's an ancient text that I never got around to reading, and it's quite possibly tens of thousands of years old. It has an enchantment on it so that it doesn't rot from age."

Looking at it, he decided he would work on finding a way to decode it later. He sealed it within a blood seal, and added extra protections before sealing the blood sealed scroll into his body. Never could be too careful with ancient artifacts…

Today was the day of the Finals, and Naruto couldn't be more… bored. He supposed he should be pumped and excited because the invasion would most likely happen today, but he couldn't find the energy to get excited over it. He supposed that, should the invasion go badly, he'd skip town and go check up on Itachi and Kisame. Maybe their leader would have news for him on his idea of joining…?

Possibly an awesome hat with a mini-hat for Kyuubi?

* * *

Konoha Chuunin Stadium…

Most of the finalists were there, quite a few looking nervous, a few looking like dead men walking (but those were mostly people thinking about facing Naruto or Gaara), and Gaara himself was looking… bloodthirsty.

Or maybe that was just gas.

When you have the emotional range of a teaspoon, one emotion tends to look like all the others.

Sasuke wasn't there yet, presumably late due to extra training… quite a few people who weren't blindly infatuated with the Uchiha heir thought he was going to be making a 'dramatic entrance'.

Since everyone believed he was going to do some sort of awesome teleport thing… Naruto decided to walk in. Slowly.

The proctor didn't even realize he was there until he coughed into his hand to bring attention to him, and to show that he wasn't going to have some sort of special effects this time. Quite a few people were put out at this fact, though they were more interested in his change of attire.

A lot of males in the audience thought he was a woman. A rather attractive woman.

Naruto wondered if maybe this would be how Haku felt if Haku were a guy… she looked androgynous enough…

After the mandatory speech of… something… Naruto kind of tuned it out… they called the first match.

Yamanaka Ino vs Nara Shikamaru

All finalists vacated the stadium, except for those two.

The proctor quickly called out 'Hajime' before hopping back to get out of the crossfire between the two.

It seemed as if Ino had been training in the one month break, and quite possibly from Kurenai, seeing as how Asuma probably was playing Shougi and Go with Shikamaru all month…

She did a few quick handseals behind her back, and whispered '**Genjutsu: Nise no Kankyou (Illusion Technique: False Surroundings)**', accompanied by a wave of chakra as she started throwing kunai and shuriken at Shikamaru, who looked around a little in confusion before attempting to break the illusion.

He retreated behind a tree, and quickly formed the seal for his **Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Imitation Technique)**, the shadows stretching out to attempt to capture her. Unfortunately, she seemed to have bettered her observation skills to detect genjutsu easier, and was able to spot it and back off, quickly forming a **Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique)**, creating five clones that took off in different directions to try to distract him.

This went on back and forth, Ino casting confusing genjutsu, and Shikamaru trying to outsmart her and catch her with his **Kagemane**. Finally, Ino used most of her remaining chakra in one last ditch attack.

'**Magen: Jubaku Satsu (Demonic Illusion: Tree Bind Death)'**

An illusionary tree (visible to everyone this time) sprouted behind the shadow manipulator, grasping him in the branches and preventing him from forming the seal to release genjutsu. Ino faded from view and seemed to emerge from the trunk above him, holding a kunai to his throat.

"Surrender, Shika. You lose."

The shadow nin gave her a smirk, before she stiffened, a hand of shadow moving up her chest and reaching her neck.

'**Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu (Shadow Neck Bind Technique)'**

"Mendokuse (troublesome), Ino, but it's a draw."

The proctor stepped in at this point, and declared it a draw, as they both had the other in a fatal position; Ino with her kunai at Shikamaru's throat, and Shikamaru's shadow hand in position to snap Ino's neck or choke her.

After a five minute break to clean up the myriad of weapons strewn about, they called out the next two contestants. Naruto, once again, walked all the way down, causing more people to sigh in resignation that he wasn't going to do something flashy and awesome.

Of course, when Sasuke didn't show up, they decided to give him ten minutes to show up due to favoritism…

Now that the crowd knew Sasuke was late, they paid more attention to the name of his opponent… for some reason the name Namikaze seemed familiar, but they couldn't quite place it.

Isn't it wonderful how nobody really recognized the Yondaime's name? He was simply called Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou (Yellow Flash of Konoha) or 'The Yondaime'. Nothing really mentioned his real name…

They thought it was rather odd, though, that Naruto, a masculine name, was applied to an androgynous individual and… was that a Kyuubi doll on their head? Weird…

Finally at the 9 minute 58 second mark (they must have had spies in there somewhere to get that close to the deadline), a _highly _dramatic **Konoha Shunshin (Leaf Body Flicker) **appeared, with excess leaves. In the middle of the whirlwind of leaves was Sasuke standing back to back with Kakashi, both looking smug and proud of their accomplishment.

Naruto gave a yawn, before speaking for the first time. His deadpan voice carried up to the stands easily, even though he didn't raise his voice.

"The next time you want to be dramatic, do a **Shunshin **that people don't know. Half of Konoha uses the stupid leaves, and they make a mess. Everywhere. Be glad that the bigoted idiots care so much about your family name that they'll be willing to bend the rules for you, Sasuke. Otherwise, you would've been disqualified for being late, seeing as how nobody should get extensions."

Sasuke, angered by the fact that the 'dobe' had messed up his awesome entrance, activated his Sharingan, showing two tomoe in one eye, and one tomoe in the other. The crowd 'ooh'ed and 'aah'ed at this, clearly excited about it, and making the blonde roll his eyes again.

Kakashi quickly teleported out of the arena and appeared with the rest of the jounin sensei's, looking quite sure of himself and smirking beneath his facemask.

The proctor quickly called out 'Hajime!' before the battle was joined.

Uchiha Sasuke vs Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto

Naruto, already bored with the match, threw the plush doll up to the observation deck where it landed on all fours and walked up to Ino, plopping down in her lap and seemingly oblivious to her shocked and slightly horrified expression. She may have been redeeming herself a little, but the thought of a moving, living Kyuubi doll still scared her. She did, however, find his plush fur quite soft, and petted it while watching the match unfold.

With the doll out of the area, Naruto had effectively limited his magic, preventing him from casting **Flare** or **Ultima**, as well as causing his magic to have less of an effect in the higher tiers. He quickly dropped into a ready stance, and waited for Sasuke to charge at him.

The Uchiha sprinted forward with his copied speed, easily surpassing most Chuunin, and coming close to Naruto's speed. Apparently, Kakashi copied Gai's speed, and then let Sasuke copy it off of him, though his body couldn't get the full benefit from it. They exchanged blows in taijutsu, with Naruto getting more hits in, though Sasuke did land a few rib-bruising kicks. To civilians they disappeared and reappeared in blurs, punctuated with soft grunts of exertion/pain from Naruto, as well as yelps and cries of 'I'll kill you!' from Sasuke.

A lucky shot, coupled with Naruto overestimating himself, allowed Sasuke to land a heel drop on top of the blonde's head, stunning him for a moment. The Uchiha quickly used this moment to pull a scroll out of his kunai pouch, unroll it, bite his thumb and perform a few quick seals before calling out a jutsu. Kakashi's jutsu, in fact.

'**Kuchiyose: Doton: Tsuiga no Jutsu (Summoning Technique: Earth Element: Tracking Fang Technique)'**

Several nin dogs dove into the ground from the scroll, and latched onto the dazed Naruto's limbs. His reactions slightly slowed from the hit to the head, he wasn't able to get them off in time before a **Chidori (Thousand Birds Chirping) **plunged into the middle of his chest.

The dogs puffed away in a plume of smoke as Sasuke pulled his bloodied fist out of the middle of his chest and kicked him away, causing the blonde to slam into the ground.

Many of the crowd gasped, many in horrified shock that 'The Last Uchiha' would use an assassination technique on an ally, while others were still in ignorant bliss that 'The Last Uchiha' knew such cool jutsu!

Most of the Konoha 12 were disgusted that Sasuke would use such a technique on a comrade, while Kakashi was nearly orgasmic with delight that his plan was working! The Demon was going to die!

However, not all things go as planned.

The blonde staggered upright, blood gushing freely from the wound that somehow (most likely due to arrogance, lack of knowledge of anatomy, as well as idiocy) didn't harm his vital organs, and coughed up a bit of blood. Sasuke chose this moment to start to gloat about his win.

"Hmph. Dobe. There's no way you can beat me. I'm an _Uchiha_, and I know Kakashi-sensei's most prized jutsu."

The blonde, however, took this time to smirk as he collected his mana, the purple haze surrounding his body and causing his blood spattered hair to billow outward in the wind, not having been tied back today.

"I'll admit I was overconfident, however… you should have killed me while you still could. I never thought I would be forced to use this… **Drain**!"

The Uchiha gasped in shock, horror, and pain as the purple haze exploded from his opponent, settling around him and pulling at something from within him. He cried out in agony as a silvery liquid substance ripped itself from his chest and slammed into the blonde, visibly regenerating the damage until the only evidence that he was harmed at all was the blood and the hole in his battle kimono.

Sasuke had seen better days. The jutsu, whatever it was, seemed to have sapped half his strength! As he tried to calm his breathing, the violent violet energy embraced the Black Mage once more, taking his time to bring up a particularly powerful spell.

* * *

Up in the Kage box…

Sarutobi was rather horrified that one of his ninjas would attack a fellow ninja with an assassination technique, solidifying the accusations that Kakashi was trying to kill Naruto.

Orochimaru, disguised as the Kazekage, was almost salivating with delight at this unique jutsu that the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki used. It harmed the enemy… and healed the user? Genius! If only Kabuto were alive… but no! It was a worthy sacrifice. The reward for Kabuto dying was revealing that the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki had the bloodline of Hyouton! It was _so_ worth it.

Jiraiya, disguised as a normal Jounin to guard the Hokage was in slight shock. He never thought the **Chidori (Thousand Birds Chirping) **could be survived! Then again… the Uchiha gaki didn't really hit a vital area…

Either way, he was amazed at this technique the blonde gaki used. It seemed more like something Orochimaru would use, though. Harming the enemy to heal the self…

* * *

Back in the Arena…

The purple energy twisted and writhed about the blonde's body as the smirk on his face turned into a full-blown maniacal grin. Ino, who felt her Uchiha Fangirlism shatter from what Sasuke did to Naruto, was surprised when the plush doll in her arms (being subjected to the Hug of Doom) started laughing maniacally. Many of the ninja snapped their attention to it, and nearly fainted when it started talking.

"That Uchiha gaki is going to get it now. He ruined good clothing with his wimpy lightning thing, and now he's going to pay!"

The build up of energy exploded from the blonde, lack of expertise as well as a lack of a focus (Kyuubi) being the reasons for the long charge up and excessive energy.

'**Mokuton: Hebi Sannin no Hentai (Wood Element: Perverted Snake Sannin)'**

Several vines and saplings exploded into growth in front of Sasuke, who stood there stunned. The flora formed a rather detailed clone of Orochimaru, though it was earthen in color, and had a few twigs here and there. The 'Kazekage' was torn between being flattered and infuriated that the brat had the audacity to call that a representation of him.

The Orochimaru construct walked forward, seemingly clad only in a pair of short shorts made out of leaves, and slipped out a tongue-like vine, dripping in sticky sap. The tongue, rivaling the original Snake Sannin's in length, wrapped Sasuke from head to toe in sap before unwinding and licking him repeatedly. While the tongue was doing its job, the construct's hands were tearing off the Uchiha's shirt, and tearing at his pants, not caring that it was drawing blood.

The crowd was absolutely revolted at this, though Naruto and Kyuubi thought it was hilarious and proceeded to laugh accordingly. The scene was actually so incredibly horrifying, that nobody really noticed that Naruto had used Mokuton at all. Many spectators seemed to try to retreat into their mind to make the image go away. Orochimaru, disguised as the Kazekage, was once again torn between two emotions.

He could be flattered that the blonde was reenacting one of the finer days that Orochimaru had ever seen, or he could be pissed because it wasn't him who was doing the licking, but clone made out of plants.

Jiraiya had a fist stuffed in his mouth to avoid snickering, while Orochimaru's bodyguards were a bit sickened, wondering if 'Orochimaru-sama' wanted to do that to them next.

The proctor quickly called the match in Naruto's favor before the Uchiha Heir could be stripped to nudity and molested by a living floral arrangement.

If Sasuke wasn't experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and having flashbacks to the time when the _real _Orochimaru was licking him, he would've been pissed that he lost the match.

Kakashi was understandably pissed that, not only did Naruto not die, but Sasuke lost.

* * *

In the Kage box…

Orochimaru, in a strange fit of emotion somewhere between envy, anger, flattery, and voyeuristic arousal, decided to call the invasion early so that he could 'collect his prize' quicker. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke retreated into his mind from the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, so he wasn't witness to the destruction of the invasion, though he would hear stories of it later. He did several quick handseals within his sleeves, though both the Hokage and Jiraiya caught them, and whispered a jutsu.

'**Genjutsu: Nehan Shoja (Illusion Technique: ****Temple**** of ****Nirvana****)'**

Feathers rained down from the sky, causing most of the spectators to slump into a deep slumber. Naruto, Shikamaru and Ino were able to throw off the genjutsu, Ino due to training, Shikamaru due to intellect and willpower, and Naruto due to sheer power as well as training in observation. Many chuunin were put to sleep, though all the jounin senseis were still awake.

The Kage box literally exploded, and four Oto (Sound) nin formed a rectangle, projecting a powerful barrier that incinerated anything on contact, locking Orochimaru, Jiraiya, and the Sandaime inside. Naruto, seeing his chance, teleported up to where Ino was and landed right next to her with a small smirk.

Demonic chakra suddenly flooded many shinobi's senses, emanating from Gaara who was putting himself to sleep gradually to avoid too much of a shock to the system when the demon took control. Ino and Shikamaru were shaking heavily from the sheer malice and hatred carried on the heavy chakra, and if Kyuubi had lungs he would be suffocating from the death hug. Deciding he might as well have some fun with the invasion, Naruto flared his mana to embrace the two with a soothing comfort.

Both snapped their attention to him with wide eyed looks of shock and awe, though it was Ino who spoke.

"What's wrong with him? I feel a lot of hatred, malice, and something… weird coming from him. It feels like two people in the same body fighting for control, and the chakra is a lot heavier."

Naruto pulled the doll from her grip and helped both of them up before responding, an amused tone in his voice.

"He is a Jinchuuriki like I used to be. His seal, however, is unstable so the demon is closer to his consciousness than mine was. What he is doing is allowing Ichibi no Tanuki, Sabaku no Shukaku (One Tailed Raccoon-Dog, Shukaku of the Desert Sands) to take control over his body. The heaviness is caused by youki, not chakra, which is much more chaotic and thicker than human chakra. The malice and hatred is due to the fact that Shukaku is insane, amplifying his normal destructive tendencies. You two are coming with me, because I need to stop him, and you're safer with me than down here."

Both gave hesitant nods, before Naruto dropped the Kyuubi doll into the arena, enlarging it to the size of a small house. He quickly jumped down, landing lightly on the doll's back and beckoned the two down. Both quickly squelched the growing horror at the fact that the doll was _getting bigger_, and hopped down with him.

As the doll grew higher and higher, Naruto was striking everywhere against the Suna (Sand) and Oto (Sound) nins with varying elemental attacks. He saw a three headed snake in the distance and launched a **Thundaja** at it.

Several dozen lightning bolts arced from the air in front of his palm, taking off like a cannon and causing a sonic boom in it's wake, striking the three headed snake down with impunity, killing it instantly instead of sending it back to the summon world.

The demonic chakra finally exploded, and a one hundred foot tall sand tanuki stood a little ways out into the forest, cackling up a storm. Kyuubi, currently about one hundred and twenty feet tall, quickly bounded over there to prevent the bijuu from causing too much damage.

Due to the nature of the battle, Naruto gave the Kyuubi full reign on his youki, allowing the fox to do whatever he wished with it. He was too busy killing off enemy nins with his magic, while Ino and Shikamaru were dumbfounded by what they were witnessing, though they had the foresight to stick to the fox's head with chakra so they didn't fall.

With a great roar, the two bijuu attacked. Shukaku using **Futon: Renkudan (Wind Element: Drilling Air Bullet)**, and Kyuubi slamming into the tanuki with everything it had. Several blasts of youki exploded out of the tails, as well as one concentrated beam of youki from the fox's maw as he tried to counteract the regeneration of the Ichibi, who simply reformed everything.

* * *

In the Kage box…

Orochimaru took advantage of the distraction caused by the two warring bijuu, and was able to score a direct hit with his Kusanagi no Tsurugi: Ku no tachi (Grass Cutting Sword: Longsword of the Heavens) on the Sandaime, fatally poisoning him with the blade's constant poison. This, however, distracted Orochimaru as he paused to gloat, causing Jiraiya to launch a **Gamayudan (Toad Oil Projectile)** and incinerate the Snake Sannin's arms from the forearm down, as well as heating up the sword to the point where it became untouchable.

* * *

Back with the Bijuu…

Finally fed up with the annoying tanuki's regeneration, Kyuubi decided that either someone would wake up the medium (Gaara) or he was going to vaporize the entire thing with an overwhelming blast of youki.

Naruto gave a rather sadistic smirk at this, and decided on the hidden third option. He quickly pulled out a scroll with a rather intricate sealing pattern on it, and teleported off the top of the Kyuubi's head and onto Shukaku's.

He backhanded Gaara, hard, to wake him up and dispel the tanuki (who managed to wail that he wasn't done playing yet), and rode the red headed boy into the ground like a cushion.

Thankfully, the **Suna no Yoroi (Armor of Sand) **absorbed the impact from a one hundred foot fall, though it did knock the Jinchuuriki unconscious. Pondering the ethics of his solution, Naruto gave the equivalent of a mental shrug before activating the intricate sealing array on the large scroll, which placed Gaara into stasis and absorbed him into the paper to be released and revived when the seal was activated again, or the scroll was destroyed.

The aftermath of the invasion was quite severe, though definitely not as bad as it could have been. Mostly it was property damage, though a few ninja were killed, as well as the Sandaime. Orochimaru fled with his Sound Four, leaving the sword behind due to being too hot to pick up at the time, though he pledged to retrieve it someday.

Naruto quickly knocked out Ino and Shikamaru, teleported them through a black void into the hospital lobby, and left a quick note for Jiraiya to find.

_Jiraiya-san,_

_I apologize for not staying longer, however, I have come what I came here to do. I gave Konoha several months to redeem themselves from their crimes against me when I was younger. They have failed spectacularly. If possible, please erase me from the Konoha Ninja Register, otherwise I shall have to be marked as a nuke-nin. I resign from Konoha. Nuke-nin doesn't sound that bad actually… perhaps Akatsuki? The hats are awesome._

_I have abandoned my surname(s) due to the fact that I do not identify myself as part of the Uzumaki or Namikaze clans, so if they're going to mark me as nuke-nin, they should either call me Naruto or Kouhai no Naruto (Naruto of Devastation)._

_I must say, though, that the Sandaime redeemed himself before his death, and I will mourn him. However, I am rather glad that he was able to die in the heat of a battle, rather than from old age._

_My regards,_

_Naruto_

He ran a quick mental check over his 'things to do while in Konoha'.

'Maim and/or kill Uchiha Sasuke. Irreversibly, horribly violated counts. Check.'

'Horrify the entire Council into subservience. Check.'

'Learn Mokuton. Check.'

'Cause beginnings of civil uprising by attracting several ninja to take my side. Check.'

'Thoroughly scout Konoha for possibility of redemption. Check and fail.'

'Extra Credit: Capture of Ichibi no Jinchuuriki. Possible second plush doll, though the insanity would get annoying. Perhaps soulless tanuki doll as a symbolic trophy, give soul of Ichibi to Akatsuki so that it can drive one of their members insane instead?'

'Further Extra Credit: Liberate an ancient/magical sword from Orochimaru, destroy the binding he has on it so that he can control it, use it for self? If not, keep on a bracket in house for good conversational piece. Possibilities of changing sword shape into spork? Poisoned spork?'

Thinking over the events of his stay, Naruto could safely say that he had a good time.

With these thoughts in mind, he grabbed the Kusanagi and melted into a tree trunk, attempting his first ever **Mokuton Shunshin (Wood Body Flicker)**, teleporting as far as he could to get a jumpstart ahead of hunter-nin.

Now all he had to do was train Ice Manipulation, Flora Manipulation (because Wood Manipulation is too specific), and Sand Manipulation.

He supposed Akatsuki would come find him once they heard of his defection/resignation, and he welcomed it.

He really wanted one of those hats.

* * *

Author's Note: Woo! Fourth of July update! I hope you all enjoyed it. I felt that having to 'get hints' from everything made it seem like too much of a MMORPG game where you had to do quests for everything. Eww. Besides, he's pretty intelligent, bordering on genius when it comes to battle, so I'm sure he could figure out sand manipulation by himself. Mokuton, however, is pretty... weird.

I may have to take some ideas from Yuu Yuu Hakusho for different plants, though I may stick to what I can come up with on the spot. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter!

Next chapter will be in around two weeks...ish. I'll be doing larger timeskips, too. Brownie points to those who can correctly guess what's going on with his hair!


	8. As Time Flows

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Spell/Jutsu"**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Final Fantasy Series, or anything associated with them.

* * *

As Time Flows

Soon after his defection from Konoha, Naruto needed a place to stay while training. When the Kyuubi reminded him that he could _make_ a place to stay, he nearly smacked himself in the forehead.

Deciding he might as well go for a flashy living/training area so that Akatsuki could find him if they ever needed him, he set himself up at the border of Kaze no Kuni (Land of Wind) and Hi no Kuni (Land of Fire).

* * *

With Naruto…

He hopped down from the treetop he was scouting from, landing in the slightly grainy soil that denoted the beginning of the shift from woodland to desert. The temperature was a nice medium from the pleasant forests and the scalding deserts, and he was close enough to both elements he needed training in. It was perfect!

He swiftly began constructing a training area/base/living area by obliterating the forests surrounding him and growing his own. He sat in a Lotus position, working on decoding the grimoire in his lap as his dark purple energy expanded from where he sat. It spread in a wave, corrupting, reforming, and bending the surroundings to his will with him in the center.

It took three days to fully complete his forest area, and it was quite a sight to see. The outer rim was a 'natural' barrier created out of tall, sturdy, sickly green trees with poisonous miasma emanating from them like a fog. Anything entering would be dead within a few minutes, killed from the potent neurotoxin within the miasma.

The middle area for those able to bypass the miasma was a jungle, filled with barbed vines laced with potent necrotic venom. Beautiful, if otherworldly, ivory Sakura trees complete with violet blossoms stood guard around the innermost area, the blossoms able to fire their stamens and pistils as darts at any mobile intruder, filled with yet another toxic poison designed to immobilize and slowly kill.

The absolute center was a rather plain looking house, created out of hardened and compacted earth, with roofing created out of black frost. The entire area was bathed in an eternal twilight, neither day nor night, light or dark.

After the base was completed, he turned in for a well deserved rest, having only been able to decipher the title of the book. The glyphs used as a language were constantly shifting and twisting, seeming to change constantly when under perusal, though after the word or sentence was decrypted it stayed in place.

'_A Guide to Undeath for Idiots'_

* * *

In Konoha…

The Council was somewhere between panicked, shocked, angry, and smug at the news that the Jinchuuriki was missing. Some of the wiser council members had known this would happen at some point, and immediately pulled out matching folders of 'Operation: Missing Jinchuuriki'.

The spokesman (or in this case woman) of the wiser council members was none other than Inuzuka Tsume, clan head of the Inuzuka clan. She spoke in clear tones over the general chaos of the Council room, silencing them immediately.

"It is clear that the container has deserted Konoha, and therefore must be marked as a nuke-nin. We must send out the ANBU in collaboration of the hunter-nin to hunt him down before he becomes too much of a threat. He should be marked as an S-rank nuke-nin in the Bingo Book. He should be detained if possible so that we can breed his bloodline into Konoha, or have his body brought back to be dissected so that we may learn how to replicate it."

Before the Council could roar in agreement to her idea, Jiraiya appeared in the standard puff of smoke denoting a **Shunshin (Body Flicker)**. As soon as the Sannin saw the folders denoting that they had been prepared for this, he began speaking.

"Before he left, Naruto left me a message stating that he resigned from Konoha's ninja register. But knowing that you will mark him as a nuke-nin anyway… he asked to be known as Kouhai no Naruto (Naruto of Devastation), much like Sasori is known as Akasuna no Sasori (Sasori of the Red Sands). He also stated that he left because the village failed to redeem themselves in his eyes for their actions when he was younger."

The Council was understandably shocked at this point. They could've had the Jinchuuriki all along if they would have simply appealed to his standards? But… that would involve thinking something through, as well as actually bowing to the demands of someone! Blasphemy!

Hyuuga Hiashi stood, his normally impassive face marred by a scowl. Or at least, a scowl by Hyuuga standards. In reality, it was simply a slight downward tilt of his eyebrows, as well as a very slight twisting of the edges of his lips denoting a Hyuuga Sneer.

"Why would the village bow to the demands of a demon?"

Jiraiya was hard pressed to not roll his eyes at the pure stupidity of the Council, their normally sound advice being twisted of over a decade of delusions concerning demons and their ilk. They seemed so… _childish_! Refusing to consider the possibility that their 'Beloved Yondaime' could maybe have done the seal _correctly_ and that the boy wasn't a demon. He was tempted to tell them that the 'demon' they kept referring to was actually quite human, and had removed the demon from his body and soul by transferring it into the plush doll he always carried around with him. But then again… that would spoil the 'I-Know-Something-You-Don't-Know' fun, as well as possibly break the trust he had tentatively created with Naruto.

Speaking of which, he really should try and use his spy network to find where the boy had gone. With his looks, he could create a whole new character for his Icha Icha series! Of course… it would probably be a female character involved in an orgy with a tentacle monster and a naughty ninja, but those details are unimportant.

He quickly left after the Council had chosen to mark the missing Jinchuuriki as an S-class nuke-nin known as Kouhai no Naruto, covering up their distaste at naming him something he _wanted_ rather remarkably. They stated that the name was rather daunting, and would appeal to their needs to mark him as less human than demon.

* * *

Back with Naruto…

After setting up his 'base', the Black Mage began his training in the remaining two elements in earnest. He already had the form manipulation down for his Flora manipulation, meaning he knew how to create different plants and trees, but he didn't have the sheer _speed _that Yamato had. He intended to become even _faster_ at creating plant life than the former experiment of Orochimaru.

Likewise, he also had to train in Sand manipulation. He understood the concept of it, as well as a little bit of the practical part, but it could be used for so many things! It was like Water manipulation… only it's both solid and liquid at the same time!

Kyuubi became a rather good partner for bouncing ideas off of while he trained, as the fox had seen some rather interesting things in his days. Material concerns such as food and water were easily taken care of, though the plants that he created for food had a rather interesting taste to them. If he tried to put it into words, he would state that they had an aftertaste of what one would think the aftermath of a lightning bolt hitting sand would taste like; a delicious molten glass taste with a hint of grit, and a little bit of electrical zing to make it memorable.

He wasn't quite sure why a plant would have an aftertaste of electricity and sand, but he didn't question it. The fox would probably spout something about how his mana was used more often to use lightning techniques in offense, and how his sand manipulation was used more often in defense, and thus was affecting his other techniques, though Naruto _really_ didn't want to test that theory by _eating _a wind blade.

He had a feeling it would be like munching on razor blades, but lacking the metallic tang, and thus tasting mostly like his own blood with a hint of spring breeze thrown in there as a garnish.

Within his home (lair, he would amend to himself, as anyplace without Lulu was never home) he trained to the brink of exhaustion, bringing all the elements that he controlled to their peak of mastery. When he ran out of mana, he would pick up the Kusanagi and pluck at the various seals and bindings Orochimaru had placed on them, forming a plan of how to break the Sannin's control over the blade.

This continued for many months, never straying from the protective embrace of his forest, completely cut from the outside world.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Konoha…

Uchiha Sasuke was pissed. Strike that, he was furious. He quite possibly had completely shed his 'Ice Prince' attitude by snarling in rage at random passerby as well as anything remotely cute and cuddly.

The reason for his rage?

Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, or Kouhai no Naruto as he was now called.

The blonde 'dobe' had ascended to S-class nuke-nin, and thus was on the same level as Itachi. And seeing as how he didn't defeat him in the exams, he was understandably pissed. Since he couldn't defeat Naruto, how could he defeat Itachi?

Luckily, he hadn't quite gotten to the point where he realized that Naruto had limited his own abilities when fighting, and had almost beat him with pure hand to hand combat, the Black Mage's worst skill.

Then, he realized it in the middle of the street, causing waves of concentrated angst to roll off him, causing many pedestrians to become nauseated or suffer from vertigo. However, as quickly as it came it passed, and waves of concentrated smugness began radiating in their place. These had the odd effect of causing many girls, ages 8-80 to squeal at the top of their lungs and launch themselves at the Uchiha heir.

It's quite creepy when someone old enough to be your grandmother is yelling "SASUKE-KUN I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!"

Two Genin kunoichi in training, however, were unaffected and watching with a detached air of disgust and shock. Yamanaka Ino, and Tenten (who had no surname as she was an orphan from the Kyuubi attack and all the available surnames were taken) watched in fascination as the Uchiha was swarmed with hordes of women. In unison they gave a sigh of disgust and continued walking… right into each other.

Quickly picking themselves off the ground, they realized they were the only females within a large area that wasn't affected by Sasuke's presence, and struck up a rather odd conversation on the subject.

Halfway through theories of how the youth of Konoha were brainwashed by their parents to want to create Uchiha babies through skilled use of a tape recorder and hypnotic recordings played back during sleep, they broached one of the most trap-laden topics of discussion ever.

Kunoichi training.

Tenten, personally, didn't see the reason for _training _to correctly arrange _flowers _of all things, when in reality it's never used whatsoever.

Surely, if they needed it during a mission, they could just buy a book on it and study it. It didn't need _years _of _training _to correctly arrange a bouquet.

Ino, who worked in a flower shop, had argued that there is more to it than simply placing flowers in a specified pattern. She went into the fact that there was a whole subconscious message played through the flowers that is fundamentally identified by the receiver, who, even if they don't acknowledge it consciously, will always subconsciously know.

Even after she said it, though, she still didn't believe it.

After the two went into the details of how kunoichi training is different from shinobi training, they came to a rather odd conclusion.

"Why don't we both get the same training?"

Surely, if a jutsu is able to change your appearance by an illusion, couldn't it also change your gender? Then a shinobi could be sent on a reconnaissance mission that a kunoichi is generally used for. This way, kunoichi could partake in shinobi training, and shinobi could partake in kunoichi training.

Jiraiya, who was still apprentice-less and was ordered by the 'Honored' Council to retrieve his teammate to replace the now-dead Hokage, came across them as they were going into the details of how women can fight too, and how men should have to learn seduction and flower arranging just like women have to. After all, some women aren't able to grasp it as well as some men are.

The Toad Sannin, hearing their heated debate (which was held within the middle of a training ground while they were sparring) immediately came to a conclusion. He would take these two to meet Tsunade with him, as they might be able to help persuade her to come back, since they could tell her all about how Konoha was screwing up kunoichi training.

Even if that didn't work, he could still help train them. After all, he was still missing an apprentice, and he was getting on in years and needed to pass on the toad contract. Naruto didn't want it, and he helped these two with their training… so maybe one of them?

After a quick explanation of exactly _why _and _where _they were going, he had to deal with a hero-worshipping Ino and Tenten who had learned exactly _what _the Slug Sannin could do with but one finger. He quickly got permission from Yamanaka Inoichi, the Yamanaka clan head, and set off with the two kunoichi to where Tsunade was last spotted.

He didn't miss the wistful smile on Tenten's face, as well as the slightly cloudy look in her eyes when they met the man that was Ino's father, and contemplated on the possibilities of adopting the girl since nobody else had taken an interest to.

Normally he would take the 'scenic' route, taking care to hit as many bath houses as possible on the way, but the way that Tenten girl kept fondling her kunai, shuriken, and other pointy objects was making him think perversion would not be a good idea.

* * *

In Tanzaku Gai…

It had only taken them a week to pinpoint Tsunade's whereabouts, which was rather odd considering the fact that she was a Sannin and _knew _she had people after her. One would think someone who was wanted by both debt collectors and dangerous ninjas would have covered their steps a little better.

During the week that it took to find her, Jiraiya found quite a few copies of Icha Icha Paradise and Icha Icha Tactics in Tenten's backpack. When questioned on the books, she had replied that she had taken to reading them whenever Neji went on a 'Fate' speech, or her teammate and sensei were having a 'manly moment'. He didn't tell her he wrote the books, however, as the… _research_… needed to write such a masterpiece was rather questionable.

When they found Tsunade, she was already considerably sloshed in an average bar, and was ranting to a small pig wearing a red jacket and a beaded necklace all about how the casinos were ripping her off. A woman no older than twenty with short brown hair wearing a kimono was wringing her hands in anxiety while asking 'Tsunade-sama' to stop drinking as she was already quite drunk.

For Tenten and Ino, this scene was a rather large eye-opener. It showed that, regardless of how hallowed their heroes are, they are still human and thus have human vices and habits.

The fact that Tsunade was currently piss drunk just proved that she was just as flawed as they were. This did, of course, substantially lower their hero worship, but they still respected her strength regardless of her alcoholism.

Honestly, when a woman can shatter a boulder with her finger when _sober_, imagine what would happen if she were an angry drunk. Respect goes a long way to a longer life.

Jiraiya, with Ino and Tenten in tow, sat down on the opposite side of the table from Tsunade, where the Toad Sannin promptly went into 'serious mode'. This was a derivative of the Hokage's 'authority mode', also known as 'mission mode', and consisted of him leveling a piercing stare at his former teammate and steepling his fingers in front of his carefully blank face, trying hard not to have his gaze stray to her feminine assets.

Tsunade seemed to miraculously sober, a testament to her supremacy of the medical field. To go from 'shitfaced drunk' to 'post-hangover sober' was a remarkable feat, even for a medic-nin.

After listing that they wanted Tsunade to come back to Konoha as the Hokage, in which the Slug Sannin spewed a hate rant of the title, Tenten finally spoke up.

"While I respect you for the fact that you are the most notable kunoichi in recent history, it is rather sad that you won't come back to Konoha. I thought you would've considered all the different changes you could make, including those to the hospital as well as the kunoichi training (which is rather lacking and quite sexist), instead of constantly thinking about all the village has taken from you."

Ino spoke up at this point, taking up where Tenten left off.

"We have a theory that the Council had tried (and succeeded) to brainwash the younger generation into loving the Uchiha heir by using hypnotic messages in our sleep. The only girls that _aren't_ currently trying to rape him or seduce him are Tenten, Hinata and I. Considering our theory, Tenten is one of the few unadopted orphans and thus wouldn't have been hypnotized, and I got my delusions shattered rather horribly in the middle of the Forest of Death in the Exams. Hyuuga Hinata probably wasn't affected because the Hyuuga and Uchiha have a long standing conflict, and wouldn't have wanted unity between the clans. Plus, a hybrid of doujutsu would be quite freaky, and possibly bad for the child's health. An… acquaintance of ours… was recently marked as an S-class nuke-nin simply because the council wasn't able to keep him under their thumb. Knowing this, it's not too far of a shot to believe that they would've tried to psychologically condition the youth into worshipping the ground Sasuke walked on, simply because it's what they believe is 'right'."

Jiraiya and Tsunade were both rather shocked and horrified at this, as it actually _explained _the phenomenon that seemed to have affected Konoha. Tsunade had to reconsider her thoughts for a moment, before slipping into her own version of the 'serious mode'. However, this effect was lost on Jiraiya who got a rather large eyeful of her cleavage from the maneuver. Almost unbidden, his hand crept forward and…

A rather large twitch in Tsunade's left eyebrow was the only warning before Jiraiya was forcefully ejected from the bar via a chakra-enhanced fist, blowing a man-shaped hole in the wall of the bar, as well as a similarly shaped hole in the wall behind it.

Regardless of the fact that it was a Genjutsu (and a well-made one at that), the flesh still looked (and felt, Jiraiya would later recall) real.

Tenten and Ino were torn between laughing at Jiraiya's forwardness, shocked at seeing Tsunade's power first hand, or being enraged at the public display of lechery.

* * *

In the end, despite the fact that Jiraiya had 'put the moves' on her, she had relented to become Hokage just to spite the Council that had allowed the village to fall so far. She would still mourn for her deceased brother, Nawaki, as well as her lover, Dan, but she would make sure that nobody else had to suffer the same.

Tenten, after learning that it was Jiraiya who wrote Icha Icha, immediately glomped him with a Cheshire grin on her face, asking him where he got the inspiration for scene 14 of Icha Icha Paradise: Twins in Paradise.

Ino, having contemplated her life thus far, asked Tsunade if she could learn some medical skills from her, as she was unable to be of much help to her teammates at the moment. She also vowed to tinker with her clan's techniques to make them more viable for frontline combat. Tsunade accepted her as an apprentice when she showed true determination to the field of medicine, even though Ino had expressed that she wished to be able to fight in combat as well instead of just working in a hospital.

Jiraiya, having learned that the 'pointy weapons girl' was alright with his writing, asked her how her training was going with the 'creepy spandex guy'. After pondering on the data she gave him, he came to a rather interesting conclusion that she required ninjutsu knowledge, not just weapons. She also needed to learn how to fight in close quarters, weapon or no weapon, and took her as an apprentice, as well as unofficially becoming her father figure.

Gamabunta was somewhere between enamored with the fact that his new summoner was a woman (pointy weapon fetish or not) and frustrated at the fact that she enjoyed reading hentai novels as much as Jiraiya enjoyed writing them. Gamakichi thought it was cool that she was so great at throwing pointy things.

The odd group moved on to Konoha, where, unknown to them, Sasuke had defected while the Council was too busy focusing their tunnel vision on a phantasmal menace: Naruto.

While the Council was currently in 'Defcon 4: Powerful Individual with a Reason to Hate Konoha', Uchiha Sasuke created a brilliantly organized plan to escape to Orochimaru for training. The man may be an effeminate, body jumping snake pervert, but he obviously knew what he was doing if he could _kill_ and then _imitate _the Kazekage without the Hokage knowing. True, he would have to deal with the rapidly dwindling (and dying, due to the mind influencing property of the Cursed Seal) voice of 'Reason' in his head, but it would be silent soon enough. After all, there is no sacrifice great enough to get the power to kill his brother. Kakashi and his techniques be damned. The **Chidori (1000 Birds) **obviously didn't kill the blonde dobe, so how was it going to kill his brother?

His plan was something Shikamaru could be proud of: He sent a clone into a public place that (rather loudly) declared that he wanted a date, and thus the women must have a bikini mud wrestling match to find who would date him.

The resulting riot (coupled with several hundred gallons of mud created by various Doton (Earth Element) techniques) brought all nearby ANBU (as well as the gate guards and any other male in the vicinity) to break up. Then again… they were having too much fun watching to pull the women away from each other. Who knew a civilian girl could bend like that?

So Sasuke, carrying only the clothes on his back, directions (and phone number, apparently for 'if he felt lonely' the note said) to Orochimaru, right out the front gate.

The village would take two weeks to recognize this, as fan girls seemed to always file missing person reports whenever the object of their desire was gone from sight for over forty five seconds. After all, surely he must have been kidnapped to stay away from the beautiful and desirable 'insert name here'?

The reports tended to get quite… clogged with all of those. It was only when Hatake Kakashi came storming into the Councilroom with his (stolen) Sharingan ablaze demanding to know where his pupil went that they truly thought he might have been really missing.

Coincidentally, the day after was when Tsunade arrived and announced that she would take the job as Hokage. The Slug Sannin immediately sent out Ino and Shizune for a few cases of sake, already feeling that this first issue was going to be a massive headache that would require liberal amounts of alcohol to remedy.

Time passed, and they marked him as a C-rank nuke-nin to be captured or convinced back to Konoha on sight. If he was kidnapped, obviously the kidnapper would have demanded a ransom, or even been gloating to equally nefarious other villains to plot the downfall of Konoha now that they had a male specimen of the infamous Sharingan bloodline.

* * *

One year later…

It had been a year since he had left the sanctity of his forest. A year since he had felt the warmth of the sun on his skin, willingly disappearing into the twilight rapture of his forest.

He had gained a level of mastery previously unknown to any in the Elemental Countries when it came to his elemental control. The elements could respond purely to his thoughts and whims now, and he had to forcefully restrain the sand and ice every once and awhile from creating beautiful sculptures of abstract matter whenever he waxed poetic in his thoughts.

His appearance had changed quite a lot as well, becoming less… humane, less approachable, if he could put it into words.

His hair had almost completely lost all color, with several streaks of the golden blonde being threaded through the bone white. If he were to systematically count how many blonde hairs there were in comparison to the white, it would come out to one blonde hair for every four white, give or take a few (hundred) strands.

His skin, which still (irritatingly so) clung to the golden bronze, was not unaffected by the lack of sunlight, having paled slightly in comparison to its previous radiance.

His eyes, once sparkling gems seemingly cut from amethysts, had begun to glow with an inner light, visibly giving off an eerie purple glow when embraced within the darkness. It irritated him every now and then that he could no longer rely on his sight in the darkness, as it would give away his position, but he had learned to cope without his sight if need be.

He had grown slightly, reaching the absolute height he would ever reach, though his body would fill out a little bit more before he was finished growing. He stood proudly at a respectable height of 6'1", and his hair was cut to his waist after an interesting revelation that it had quit spiking once the lifeless white hair became predominant on his scalp. He was barefoot, and clad in rather odd attire.

Tossing away his previous battle kimono sometime near the end of his training, he had created his own clothing out of one of the most durable and adaptable elements.

His pants were a flowing set of royal purple colored hakama, crafted out of uniform grains of sand to create a rather smooth feeling, as opposed to the roughness sand normally creates. His torso was covered by an elegantly crafted black haori, shaped from the same sand the hakama were. His control over the elements had progressed so far that he was able to unconsciously keep the garments in form regardless of his mental state. Meaning… he would never have an awkward moment because his pants or shirt suddenly dissolved into sand in the middle of the marketplace, or some such event.

He pondered for a few minutes at the outskirts of his base, before releasing the magics which bound the unnatural constructs to the material plane, allowing the house (which was more of a hut, in any case) as well as the multilayered woodland that protected it to dissipate into their inherent energies. He gave a slight smile as he continued on his way, a rather odd plush fox toy with nine tails slumbering peacefully on his left shoulder.

* * *

Somewhere in Ame no Kuni (Land of Rain)…

This was not what he was expecting.

He was expecting some sort of underground fortress with intricately laid traps, explosion tags decorating everywhere (in case of an 'emergency self destruct'), several places requiring an elaborate password, and a convoluted maze to the 'throne room' where one could easily be lost and die of starvation.

Naruto was definitely _not _expecting to come to Amegakure no Sato (The Village Hidden in the Rain), ask for Akatsuki, and be given a guide who led him to something reminiscent of the Hokage tower, only having two stories instead of four or five.

When he was led (through a torrential monsoon no less, didn't Pein ever show some hospitality in here?) through a rather average hidden village, he really began to think he might have gone to the wrong country. Perhaps they were stationed in Kaze no Kuni (Land of Wind) or Mizu no Kuni (Land of Water)? Maybe even Yuki no Kuni (Land of Snow)? Surely Akatsuki wouldn't be so careless to allow random people to be led _directly _to their base?

Apparently he was wrong. The guide took him all the way to doors labeled 'Amekage', and told him that the boss wasn't having any meetings and to go right on in.

He gave a slight knock on the door, deciding he might as well go with the madness, and gained entry after a deep voice had bid him to enter.

* * *

Amekage's Office…

Naruto really wasn't expecting to meet the Leader of Akatsuki in person. Regardless, he opened the door carefully and let himself in, shutting it behind him. His senses were on high alert of this being some form of trap, trying to get him to lower his guard before striking.

All he saw was a bright orange haired man with multiple piercings through his nose and ears, as well as one in his bottom lip. He was clad in standard black shinobi pants, standard black shinobi sandals, a long sleeved black shirt, and a scratched Ame hitai-ate upon his forehead. On the wall near his desk was the high collared black cloak with red clouds indicative of an Akatsuki.

The man lifted his head from a report he was reading to look up at him with a rather strange set of eyes. They were a shade of slate gray, but had multiple concentric circles in them that had an almost hypnotizing quality. Not as great as the Sharingan at hypnosis, but definitely enough to slightly unnerve a casual observer.

When the odd man, who couldn't have been older than twenty five or so, caught sight of him his mood brightened a little, and the rain lessened outside. The man gave him a curious glance, obviously noting that he wasn't wet at all, regardless of the rain outside, and spoke in the same deep tones he had heard from outside the door.

"You are..?"

Naruto gave a slight smile, bowing at the waist to an angle indicating respect for the other before speaking.

"I am Naruto, though I suppose most people refer to me as Kouhai no Naruto (Naruto of Devastation) or 'that demon brat'. I am the former Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, and I would like to join your organization. If that is not possible, please direct me to the nearest place to get a hat similar to Itachi's."

The man gave him a rather odd look; as if he thought it was either a joke or he was crazy. The corner of his lip gave a slight twitch, before replying.

"I am known as Pein. Currently there are no open positions within the organization, as we have yet to retrieve Orochimaru's ring."

Naruto tilted his head to the side quizzically, before an enigmatic smile formed upon his lips.

"How damage resistant are the rings, Pein-san?"

The orange haired man blinked rapidly at the curious question, before phrasing his statement carefully.

"They have survived incineration, as well as explosive clone-suicide by the bearer without being harmed. Why?"

The same unfathomable grin appeared on the Black Mage, and the next few words shocked Pein to the bone.

"I believe it's time I pay the Otokage a little visit. I'll have to make it suitably… appealing, don't you think, Pein-san? I hope you'll join me on this visit, as I'm sure it'll be quite something to see. After all, it's not often a village is wiped off the map in one day, is it?"

Pein thought on this for a few moments, before pressing a button on his desk, and telling the secretary there will be no more meetings. He pulled on his cloak and motioned for them to leave, quite fascinated in this rather remarkable individual. After they left, a second body took over where the first left off, reading the reports while the first watched, intrigued as Naruto split the rain around him, not letting it touch him at all. He would have to tinker with his technique if it was possible to escape it so easily, that was for sure.

Naruto continued walking along, the same strange smile settling on his lips as the two took to the trees, headed towards Otogakure no Sato (The Village Hidden in the Sound) at a blinding pace.

* * *

Author's Note: This chapter is purposefully short, as it's mainly just a timeskip coupled with 'things that happened while Naruto was gone'. Next chapter will have the assault on Otogakure, as well as a bit more.


	9. Seige of Oto

Author's note: I really have no real excuse for updating...two weeks late... except that school started, but even then I'm only taking two classes. Oh well. Sorry about the ungodly delay.

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Spell/Technique"  
**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything else you accuse me of owning in terms of stuff that I do not own. HAH!

* * *

Siege of Oto

Naruto and Pein dropped to the ground nearly one hundred meters from the ending of the forest where it gave way to plains. Pein was rather surprised by this sudden halt, and quirked an eyebrow at the white haired teen in silent question.

The Black Mage's lips quirked up in a wry grin as he crouched low to the ground, setting one palm down flat on the earth. The land rumbled in dissension to the unspoken command, but finally gave in to the constructing force of the mana. Within a few moments, a rather large… insect… had been formed completely out of soil, clay, and bits of root and other matter caught in between.

It seemed like a disturbingly large wasp, easily over six feet in height, though it had four wings instead of the normal two. It hovered with an oddly soft buzzing noise, considering how much it had to weigh from being made out of rock, and was vertical in posture with its body curved so that the stinger was positioned forward. Its sharp mandibles snapped once or twice as if to test their strength, before it turned its head towards Naruto, gazing with soulless yellow compound eyes.

Pein was watching both insect and master rather cautiously at the moment, as one of his greatest phobias would be bugs. Anything that had an exoskeleton and liked to get into uncomfortable places just unsettled him, and this was a prime specimen. Unfortunately…his sandals weren't big enough to squish this one. Perhaps he should call for Konan to make a paper flyswatter the size of a sledgehammer to try and squish it?

Naruto, oddly enough, walked up to it and ran a calm hand over the wasp's head, eliciting a rather odd higher pitched buzzing before he spoke.

"I need you to capture someone by the name of Karin. She should be working in the laboratory or in the infirmary of the village, and is usually wearing a white lab coat, knee length khaki shorts, a white sleeveless top, and has glasses. Her hair is burgundy in color, and she wears it with one side long and straight, and the other short and choppy. If necessary, sting her to paralyze her and bring her back to me. Travel through the ground to avoid being caught."

The wasp, oddly enough, nodded its head (completely defying its anatomy, as it would be quite hard to nod when it lacked a neck) before sinking into the earth.

The white haired adolescent quirked a slight smirk before turning back to gaze at the suspiciously vacant open plains ahead of them. With a low chuckle, he raised a hand in the air and twisted it, calling forth a miniature swirling tornado. The storm compressed upon itself, molding into a new form and containing the chaotic winds.

Soon it calmed, the previously unrestrained element chained into the forms of a small puppy as well as a fluffy kitten. They, unlike their earthen insect counterpart, were a sandy brown in color with characterless blue eyes. They both looked up towards their leader with their heads cocked to the side in question, prompting the Black Mage to kneel down, stroking along their fur as he relayed his instructions to them.

"Wander throughout the village below us and tranquilize and capture any child the age of eleven or under. Bring them back to me as soon as possible, and do not be seen or caught. Feel free to simply allure them instead of outright attacking them. It is preferred to do it that way, if at all possible. Go."

The two nodded in unison, presenting quite a disconcerting image to the observing Pein who was sure that he was going to add soulless automatons to his list of things to destroy on sight.

With the orders given, Naruto stepped back and began walking around in a large circle, easily five hundred meters in diameter. Almost all trees near and inside the circle actually uprooted themselves and moved out, replanting in other areas and leaving a large grassy area mostly clear. Following his footsteps, a single blade of wind carved an unwavering line, clearly marking the boundaries of the area. As the blade of wind finished carving, it dissipated back into energy, the marking left in its wake over a foot deep and two inches wide.

He stepped back outside the circle and leaned his back against a nearby tree, resting his eyes after the slight exertion. He knew he was going to have to do much more, and very soon, so he treasured each moment of rest he could come across. Pein, however, had other ideas and stepped up beside him, clearing his throat before asking the most pertinent question that could come to mind.

"What the fuck?"

One amethyst eye opened lazily, gazing in apathy at the orange haired leader of Akatsuki before shutting. He spoke up from his resting place, voice void of inflection.

"Karin will be able to tell me the exact amount of people, as well as where they are, that do not want to stay in Oto. I refuse to kill those who do not deserve it. That is the same reason for the children being evacuated. The circle is to place the refugees during the fighting. I will protect them once they are all within the circle."

Pein blinked rapidly in surprise at the idea that one person would be able to protect an entire village's refugees while right next to the fighting itself, but let it slide… for now. He would get his answers, though. Just… as soon as he got the thoughts of the big wasp out of his head.

They stood there in somewhat companionable silence for nearly fifteen minutes before the ground rippled and split, as if a large bubble had been forced to the surface of a lake, exposing the wasp and the (notably not paralyzed) medic-nin, Karin.

The red haired woman seemed to be only in her late teens, oddly enough, and was around 5'5" tall. The six legs of the wasp were clasped around her arms and chest, preventing her from making hand seals or grabbing for a weapon, and yet she seemed quite calm. She alighted her red eyes upon the white haired Black Mage and raised one eyebrow quizzically, keenly observing him as a potential threat. After a few moments in which the wasp flew her to within six feet of Naruto and hovered, she spoke.

"I guess you're the one who kidnapped me?"

Naruto's lips twitched upwards in a slight smile as he moved from his resting place to a standing position, giving his reply.

"Yes. I have one request and one question for you. Which would you like to hear first?"

The med-nin's eyes narrowed in suspicion before she spoke, her arms tensing in case she needed to fight.

"The question."

Not even batting an eye at the rigidity of his captive, he replied.

"Do you enjoy working for Orochimaru?"

The question seemed to catch her off guard, and her eyes widened in surprise before narrowing once again in further suspicion. Discreetly attempting to move an arm, she realized the insect had her quite constricted, and she gave up on that avenue of escape for the moment and answered.

"Orochimaru-sama has allowed me to progress far in my studies as a med-nin, perhaps surpassing his late servant, Kabuto."

The Black Mage's eyes glinted in slight amusement, before he reiterated his question.

"Yes, that's all well and good, but do you _enjoy_ working for him? Your answer will dictate whether your lifespan will be measured in decades or minutes."

Her eyes became slits in suppressed fury, as well as fear. Would he really kill her? Who was he, anyway, to be asking about Orochimaru like that? She started to channel her chakra to attempt to strengthen her muscles in a desperate bid for escape, and spoke the answer she hoped would throw him off long enough for her to attack. It didn't hurt that it was the truth, either.

"No. He is a nightmare given flesh, using human lives as mere playthings for his sick and twisted experiments. The only thing I can do for my patients is make their deaths as painless as possible, and to lace their injections with painkillers to prevent some of the suffering."

She thrashed momentarily in the grasp of the insect, who had yet to tighten its legs around her, cracking the earthen formation of one of its legs before something subdued her. Laughter.

Pein also looked up from his place hidden in the trees at the odd sound. It was musical, almost. Not quite the thing to be heard from an S-rank nuke-nin. He might have to subtract points on the application for that…nuke-nin are supposed to have maniacal laughter, not musical.

Getting his laughter under control, Naruto broke out into a wide smile, showing off his teeth as the plush doll within his arms grinned in tandem at the still bound med-nin.

"Good. It seems you will not die by my hand today. Now, if I may make my request, Karin-san?"

The redhead could only nod numbly in shock. She had been…spared? By a supposedly merciless nuke-nin? Before she could wrap her mind around that, he had already spoken again.

"I need you to use your ability, which has been noted in the Bingo Book, by the way, to search out chakra signatures giving off certain emotions. I'm looking for resentment, hopelessness, and hatred in a combination that is indicative of people who are held within Oto against their will, or stay only for fear of their life."

Karin blinked rapidly before tilting her head to the side, reanalyzing the teen in front of her, as she clearly mustn't have heard that right. Noticing her confusion, he reiterated.

"I want you to search for people within Oto who do not wish to be in Oto and are held against their will, or only stay for fear that they will be hunted down and experimented on or killed."

The word 'experiment' seemed to break her out of her reverie, and she seemed to realize something. She spoke up, her voice filled with determination and steel as she tried not to get her hopes too high.

"You're going to… rescue them? How? If you have a good chance of succeeding, I'll do it. Anything to help them."

After outlining that he would be protecting them while he laid siege to the village itself, she was hard pressed to either crack up in hysterics, or break down crying in despair that her savior was a lunatic. Until, of course, he responded that it was quite easy for him to create the automaton which had captured her without being sensed at all. Then she started taking him a bit more seriously. She was released from the bondage of the wasp, and was lead to the ring in the earth where he would be protecting the refugees. Already over fifty children lay there, asleep and hidden within the shade of multiple trees that had stayed within the circle purely for the protection from the sun. She was rather surprised at how he was able to evacuate fifty children while talking to her, but then she noticed a small kitten and a small puppy appearing and dropping off sedated children before disappearing once again. Raising the obvious question, she got a rather odd answer.

"They are creations of wind and air, able to disperse and reappear at whim, carrying others with them. The wasp was a creation of earth and rock, capable of melting into the planet and moving others through the soil."

Finally agreeing to the plan, she set herself into the standard chakra-gathering stance, one hand forming into a Ram seal as her eyes closed. To others, it seemed as if she were meditating, but from her perspective, everything changed.

The world faded away, leaving nothing but beacons of energy lighting up the void. The compressed sun of Naruto was almost blinding to her senses, the violet light almost obscuring an entire village of ninjas below them, but she was able to circumvent it. She scouted along the glowing blue orbs of the village of Oto, tapping each one with her senses to 'feel' the emotions emanating from the beacons. Much to her chagrin, and slight resentment, she could find only a few aside from prisoners of war who truly didn't want to be in the village. Out of the eight thousand living within the village, only two hundred and fifty or so wished to be anywhere but there.

Opening her eyes, she realized an hour had passed in the real world, a consequence of going through eight thousand chakra signatures. She made sure to mark the chosen ones in her mind for later viewing, and stretched out as she strode up to the Black Mage.

Naruto was currently musing upon the idea of creating the army he would need to lay siege to the village itself. It would be absolute suicide to attempt to take on a village without backup, after all. He had his eyes closed, and held both arms in front of him, about a foot apart as several spheres of colored energy rotated around his head slowly. He halted the creation process as he noticed Karin heading towards him, and tilted his head politely to her in greeting, awaiting her report. The only outward sign that he was annoyed with the information given was a slight sneer on his face, though inside he was positively seething. When he spoke, his voice had a heavy undercurrent of malice, and his eyes snapped open, revealing the now brightly glowing amethyst irises, shocking both Pein and Karin.

"Two hundred and fifty are worth saving, then. The rest have made their decision to be protected by an abomination of the human race. They are deserving of their fate if they choose that form of protection. The children are all evacuated, and will be waking up within half an hour. One moment while I create…chauffeurs… for our new refugees."

His inward hatred towards the inhabitants of the village was made truly apparent when he simply stomped the ground with one foot, causing a battalion of one hundred stone wasps to arise from the earth. Pein was shaking in the tree he was sitting in, alerting Karin to his presence, consequently leading to her rounding on him and casting a sealless **Kanashibari no Jutsu (Temporary Paralysis Technique)** by lowering her glasses and glaring at the Akatsuki leader. He shrugged off the attack with minimal effort, though he was forced to drop from his hiding spot and introduce himself to the med-nin. She was rather apathetic to the whole 'leader of an S-class organization', preferring a quiet lab or hospital to the spotlight of being a known organization. She gave a rather vicious grin, though, when she learned that this was started as an operation to assassinate Orochimaru and get his Akatsuki ring back.

After getting locations of the chakra signatures from Karin, he sent his wasps to capture and return, sending them through the ground once again. He beckoned Karin and Pein to follow him as he stepped into the ring upon the ground, careful to not brush the edge itself which was copied by the other two. He headed towards a grove of trees where the children had been left, and sat down with a slight smile on his face, waiting for them to awaken. To pass the time, he picked up the Kyuubi and sat him on the ground, talking to the plush doll for the first time in front of the other two.

"Kyuu-kun… how many soldiers out of the other elements should I mold? I want to make sure it's not a total slaughter."

The fox barked out a laugh, surprising both the other nins before speaking up.

"I'd say… fifty of each element used mainly as supporting fire. You and me, brat, are going to be the main force."

The white haired teen gave a malevolent laugh before speaking up again.

"Any parameters you would like to impose upon this siege?"

The doll grinned wide, showing each of its pointy teeth.

"No more than 40 percent power used by either of us, not counting the soldiers."

Naruto snickered good naturedly before supplying his own, starting a ping pong battle of regulations.

"No form larger than ten feet at head height."

"No forbidden _skills_ until Orochimaru shows up."

"No consuming your own youki to use as a high powered beam."

"Why?"

"You can cut through the Hokage Monument with that. It'd be hard to tell how many you killed since the bodies would be vaporized."

"Good point. No absolute murder to the point where there's nothing left of them."

"No on-site torture for answers. It would be detrimental to the kill count."

"What should the final attack be?"

"Ooh, I'm thinking something… out of this world."

Both snickered at the lame pun before collecting themselves. Karin and Pein were both stunned through shock and disbelief at some of the rules that they were implementing. Rules! For a siege! How bizarre!

The ground rumbled angrily, waking up some of the children who looked around, bewildered and terrified as a hundred enormous earthen wasps emerged from the ground, carrying two to three passengers each and dropping them into the circle before sinking into the ground. The mana used to animate them streamed back into Naruto through ribbons of purple mist.

Refreshed after regaining his energy from the animation, the Black Mage turned to the assorted children, prisoners of war, family members held through blackmail, and other reluctant citizens of Oto with a slight grin on his face. The faces he saw were a nice combination of surprise and fear, as quite a few nins knew him from the Bingo Book. Karin was heading from person to person, running a diagnostic technique over them to make sure they were okay. Utilizing what little bedside manner she contained, she comforted children and injured persons alike, though her smile was quite strained and her cheeks twitched from having to smile for so long. Waiting for her to check the last of their number, he smiled sadly as she began to heal the more injured prisoners and maltreated and malnourished children. He cleared his throat to gather attention back to himself before speaking in a clear tone.

"I apologize for the rather… hostile… way you were all retrieved. However, time is of the essence, and I would rather you not put up a fuss and gather attention, causing Otogakure to be aware of what I'm about to do. After the attack is over, I will personally escort everyone around the Elemental Countries until they find a place to stay, as an apology for most likely destroying all belongings and money. You will all be quite sufficiently protected while I am fighting, and, though you will be able to see the fighting, you won't be able to be harmed or harm others outside this circular area. All sound will also be cut off. The only reason you will be able to see is so that you aren't held in suspense, though I strongly suggest that the children do not watch. Brutal will not begin to describe what will happen."

Nonplussed was the general mood, with many staring at him uncomprehendingly. Shrugging them off, he gestured for Pein and Karin to stay within the circle before stepping out of it. Almost as an afterthought, he looked back to the refugees as he had already began calling them, and ran a hand through his hair, flicking his head towards them. Several small seeds glinted in the sunlight as they landed, growing into a large field of edible items.

The colors and tastes were off, of course, looking more like a horror show or an exhibit of demonic plants than a field of other fruits and vegetables. The taste… he still had yet to get the electrified glass taste out of them. He supposed they'd have to make do.

To cover the human need to keep hydrated, he summoned several hundred globules of water, keeping them afloat in the air and allowing them to constantly absorb more water from the atmosphere for a refill.

The refugees (and, indeed, both Karin and Pein) were surprised at this feat. Nobody had ever said anything about him being able to grow things similar to the First Hokage's bloodline!

While they were busy preventing their minds from melting, Naruto raised a hand and used his index finger to trace several glyphs and runes he learned from his grimoire in the air, using them to assist in channeling his power. The very fabric of reality seemed to pucker before smoothing out again, and a very faint silvery barrier erected itself in the trench dug by the wind knife. Using his finger again, he wrote letters backwards in the air to allow them to read, and wrote: "Using the void from between the stars in the nighttime sky, I have crafted a wall. If one were to throw a weapon, use a ninjutsu, or attempt a genjutsu, they would need to bypass the vacuum and lack of gravity of space, thus an impenetrable barrier, but it does allow you to see, though you cannot hear or anything else. You are all enclosed in a sphere, completely separate from the air far above you, the ground far below you, or even me out here."

With his protection sustained, he turned to face the open plains once again, and waved his hand in a shooing gesture. Pure white embers scattered in a cone formation, setting the plains ablaze with a wash of heat and light. As the fire burned its way through the plains, he began to gather his mana for an immense spell. He enlarged Kyuubi to ten feet at the head before writing dozens glyphs and runes in the air to assist him in splitting his mana evenly.

Blazing like a violet lamp in an evening sky (though it was only barely noon) with his hair floating about him like tendrils of an affectionate plant, he sliced his right hand through the air, discharging all the accumulated mana.

From the ground arose fifty spiders of earth, towering at a height of ten feet with a legspan (front to back) of over thirty feet. Capable of spinning webs of slick mud, injecting molten magma for venom, and merging/emerging from the ground at will, they were his primary ground force.

From the air coalesced a collection of fifty moths and butterflies of wind. Their wingspan of over twelve feet was capable of stirring up gusts seeded with blades of wind, able to shed wind blade "scales" off their wings, and able to reform and disperse at will. They were his supporting air force.

From water in the air itself, fifty serpentine insects came into being. They were nearly ten feet long each from tail to tip, shaped vaguely eel-like, and had six legs upon their underside. They were able to embrace and crush those caught within their bodies, and used their small legs to inject part of their body into their target to attack them from within. They were tertiary air force.

From lightning came fifty vaguely humanoid aberrations. Eight feet tall, and boasting an unnaturally long arm length to near where their 'knees' would be, they were agile and quick, supporting ground fire.

From frost came the most deadly of the air force. Fifty wasps crafted out of crystalline shards, and capable of 'spitting' globs of liquid frost (no matter how paradoxical it sounded) at a distance of twenty feet, as well as being able to reform if shattered.

From flame came the tertiary ground force. Fifty large slugs, measuring about six feet long and three feet high, were crafted out of liquid and gelatinous flame. They oozed trails of fire along their path, and were able to 'spit' globs of liquid flame at a distance of twenty feet.

Finally, from nature came the medical crew. Fifty vaguely humanoid shapes with willowy body forms and lanky figures crafted out of a very violently poisonous herb. They were to cultivate the land while fighting, making sure that the battlefield was not desecrated by the battle, and ensuring that no matter what, new life would always grow even after such a disaster. Should they be attacked while attempting their duty, they would retaliate with lethal venoms that oozed from every pore of their body.

Naruto would be casting utility spells, sand magic, and non elemental abilities, as his threads of mana set aside for each other element were currently in use to keep the army sustained.

Three hundred and fifty two troops, fighting against nearly eight thousand ninjas.

You really had to pity Oto at this point.

The Black Mage rested his back against Kyuubi for a moment, breathing heavily from exerting so much mana at once. He caught his breath after but a few moments, and turned to the charred plains, and raised a single hand.

"Kyuubi, use your youki to blast into the village! Earth spiders, stand by to intercept first wave of reactionary ninja! Lightning dancers, infiltrate through the hole and destroy their communications! Water insects, pollute and poison their water supply! Everyone else, stand by to assist the earth spiders!"

With a collective stomp (or nod, from the air units), the plush doll collected crimson youki to the tip of each one of his tails before pointing them at an angle and blasting a hole down into the ground, easily over twenty feet wide and thirty tall. The walls, floor, and ceiling of the tunnel became instant glass from the high heat coming from the youki as it ate away at the metal 'roof' of Otogakure, punching through the layers in seconds.

Clearly, Oto wasn't built to withstand a Bijuu attack.

Immediately alarms began to blare from the newly opened entrance, and several squads of Chuunin, a few Jounin, and an ANBU squad who had apparently been nearby flooded out of the hole. Their sandals began to melt upon the still heated glass surfaces of the tunnel, but they trudged on regardless, sealing for ninjutsu, genjutsu, and preparing weapons as they ran to the light.

They were met by two spiders stationed at the entrance grabbing two nins each and biting them viciously, using their claw-tipped legs to slash and stab at the one they weren't currently injecting full of magma. Humanoid elementals of lightning jumped, tumbled and skittered through the glass tunnel, shocking and numbing those who got too close as 80 percent of the lightning force surged down into Oto to shut down all electrical systems.

60 percent of the water squad floated serenely after them, intent on diseasing any liquid supplies within the village. Along their way to the reservoir and other bodies of water, they caught, strangled, crushed, and killed any in their path.

The earth above the 'roof' of the village began to… sublime for lack of a better word. It simply disintegrated into sand which floated lazily into the air, slowly obscuring the sun.

Within ten minutes, the plains had become a one hundred foot hole from repeated youki blasts into Otogakure, and counterattacks from the village were expected at any second. Suddenly, from the back, a volley of kunai broke through the tree cover, having been thrown by a squad of ninja who had sneaked out of a different exit and come to flank. Unfortunately, they either disregarded or didn't see the _floating cloud of sand_ in the sky which intercepted the weapons, deflecting them into the ground before launching a counterattack in the form of a localized sandstorm.

With over two hundred mph winds.

The sand grains were flaying flesh, clothing, armor, and trees alike.

The retaliatory army had arrived, and it came in with ninjutsu blazing.

The battlefield was full of chaos. With their flank protected by a flaying sandstorm, the elemental army struck in organized squads to crush the resistance, utilizing each squad to the best of its ability. Naruto was in the thick of it, his sand protecting and fighting for him alternately. Sand spines erupted from a very thin layer on the ground, impaling feet and hindering movement. Spikes of sand coalesced from the cloud and fired at high speeds, causing nins to have to avoid them and possibly fall prey to another soldier's attack.

Finally, a squad of Oto Jounin cooperated with each other and combined four **Doton: Retsudotensho (Earth Element: Split Earth Turn Around Palm)**, squishing two earth spiders, shattering three frost wasps, and smothering a flame slug. Unfortunately for them, the wasps simply reformed from the shards, the earth spiders _absorbed _the earth used against them and got _bigger_, and the flame slug just pulled itself back together and began gnawing on a nin's foot.

With elemental techniques _firmly_ being resisted by the elemental army, the nins resorted to their specialty.

Sound style ninjutsu.

Fracturing waves of sound echoed across the battlefield in cone areas of effect, cracking and breaking parts of the soldiers off, only for them to be reattached by the nature medics and bound with elastic vines while the wound healed.

In retaliation to the technique that almost harmed his army, Naruto caused the cloud of sand to rain javelins of hardened sand. They passed harmlessly through his soldiers, save for the frost wasps (but he didn't care, they just repaired themselves from the shattered pieces anyway), but were greatly effective against the human opposition.

Clearly they didn't enjoy being impaled like a butterfly on a pin.

Kyuubi, recovering from the compressed youki blasts that started the entire encounter, leapt from squad to squad of enemy resistance, biting, clawing, and pounding with his tails. Every now and then he'd toss a ball of chaotic youki from the tip of one of his tails, the corrosive (and highly toxic) energy decaying and corrupting flesh, soil, or armor wherever it touched.

Within thirty minutes of decimating the squads that were sent (sporadically) directly into his encampment of almost three hundred soldiers, the Otokage had finally showed up to prevent more losses.

Current Deaths:

Naruto – 15 (3 frost wasps melted, 8 flame slugs dispersed into earth, and 4 medics burned alive)

Otogakure – A little over three hundred.

Following Orochimaru to the battlefield was his Sound Five (complete with Kimimaro who had one foot in the grave), as well as Uchiha Sasuke.

Oddly enough, their Cursed Seals were their downfall when they had to _pause_ while activating them, leaving them as prime targets for anything mobile. Kimimaro took a little while longer to die, simply because his **Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse)** bloodline severely strengthened his skeletal structure. An earth spider had to bite him and inject him full of magma, liquefying him from the inside out before he finally died.

Orochimaru and Sasuke were quite shocked, seeing the Otokage's vanguard get killed within the first forty five seconds of combat simply because they couldn't activate their Cursed Seals on the move. Apparently soulless constructs were less forgiving for dramatic tension than human opponents who would wait for obligatory power-up sequences.

Sasuke activated his **Sharingan**, choosing in a rare moment of intelligence to stand back and watch his mentor and his 'nemesis' participate in combat. The legion of elemental soldiers split before Orochimaru without him even needing to attack, leading the Snake Sannin to believe (correctly) that Naruto was controlling them, even if it was only by a little bit.

As soon as an opportunity presented itself, a blurred seal sequence lead into a **Shikumi no Jutsu (Death Forseeing Technique)**. The powerful illusion disoriented the Black Mage for but a moment as he broke it effortlessly, but the moment was all the Snake Sannin needed to lunge forward, non-magical replica of the Kusanagi in hand and land a glancing blow off the white haired teen's shoulder, cutting into the sand-cloth a bit.

In revenge, several spines and spikes of sand exploded into existence at point blank, forcing Orochimaru to jump back to avoid being impaled. The Black Mage turned to face him before deliberately closing his eyes, arms above his head as violet energy pulsed into being once again. Out of the (relatively clear, minus the sand cloud) sky rained balls of nonelemental energy and globs of virulent toxin. The white spheres and amorphous green sludge hailed down all around the battlefield, with the nonelemental energy exploding into pure force on contact, while the goo splattered and corroded onto anything it touched.

His eyes still closed, the grass around his feet (what little of it there was) began to wilt and Orochimaru felt a peculiar tingling sensation dancing across his skin. Disregarding it, he launched into more ninjutsu, throwing fire, wind, and earth techniques primarily. Wind blades were deflected and dispersed, the flames smothered by sand, and the earth chunks sublimed to feed the sand cloud.

Naruto's face twisted slightly into a scowl, the sand freezing into place for a moment before all it erupted into a forest of spines and spikes all around the battlefield. The elemental constructs, bound to his will, immediately switched tactics to the new battlefield before the forest of sand had stopped forming.

Sasuke hopped backwards to continue watching, copying all of the jutsu Orochimaru was using and cheering on the inside that the 'dobe' was at least good enough to get his mentor to dig into the stuff he hadn't been taught yet.

The Snake Sannin wasn't out of tricks yet, and began summoning swarms of snakes from his sleeves to combat the sand manipulating menace, only to have the summoned animals smothered, crushed, or simply blocked by the sand. The only warning for the counterattack was the sandstorm blocking the flank stilling before it whipped into a frenzied fury towards Orochimaru.

Unable to escape, he weathered the flaying sand particles, splitting his body along his mouth and emerging from it without a scratch on him before sinking into the ground, using the **Hiru Bansho: Boka no Jutsu (Leech All Creation: Attack Prevention Technique) **to escape the deadly storm.

As he resurfaced behind the Black Mage, he stabbed upward, hoping to skewer the pest through the ribcage, but the sword in his hand was caught and shattered into small metal slivers by compacted sand.

While gawking at his ruined weapon (only for a moment), he was caught off guard as a spike of hardened sand impaled him through the gut, only for 'Orochimaru' to have been an earth clone.

Speaking aloud, somehow heard over the chaos of the ongoing battle, Naruto made his observation.

"You seem to be more of a cockroach than a snake, Orochimaru. Shall we find out if you'll live for fourteen days without your head?"

Infuriated by the slight against his title, Orochimaru (hidden amongst the chaos) bit his thumb and swiped it down his arm, over the snake summoning tattoo.

"**Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique)**"

A huge poof of smoke (causing Naruto to ponder on how exactly the smoke is produced) distracted nobody but the human resistance, ensuring more casualties as the elemental automatons had no use for curiosity or surprise.

Kyuubi, attracted by the scent of snake as well as the giant puff of smoke, lumbered over to stand by Naruto as they awaited Orochimaru to finally come out of the cloud of smoke. That man had far too much love for dramatic suspense.

"Kyuu-kun… Orochimaru is here, which means Forbidden Magic is legal. How's your kill count?"

The fox snorted at this, grinning blood drenched teeth (with an arm stuck in between two of them that the fox somehow couldn't get out) before replying.

"Your elemental army has taken out about a thousand, but you've taken about fifty casualties. I've taken out five hundred or so. You?"

The Black Mage, appraising Manda (who had finally shown himself from the cloud of smoke) replied almost absentmindedly.

"Three hundred and fifty or so. That sandstorm is pretty vicious, you know. After I kill Orochimaru, though, I'm going to start using the good stuff. Should we count them as kills for both of us, since you're helping me channel the magic?"

The fox nodded in assent before bounding off to up his kill rate a bit more, leaving Naruto to deal with the snake boss and its summoner. Manda was even more displeased than normal to be summoned in a battlefield of monsters of all things, and clearly made it known in a booming voice.

"**Orochimaru, you idiot! THERE IS NOTHING TO BE SACRIFICED HERE BUT THAT ONE BRAT!**"

Attempting to placate his arrogant and stubborn summon, the Snake summoner attempted to bargain.

"Just take him out and I'll summon you in an orphanage. A large orphanage."

This offer apparently pleased the snake boss, who tilted his head in contemplation (consequently almost making his summoner slide off his head) before nodding (almost flinging his summoner off at the same time. Almost).

Their coordination finally established, they turned to the Black Mage, only to find a mongoose crafted out of the entire sand cloud staring back at them with soulless eyes. It was at this point that Manda would have started sweating, should he have the glands to sweat.

The fight between the two started viciously, with the mongoose lunging at speeds unheard of for a behemoth of those proportions, only to hit air as Manda narrowly dodged the attack of his race's mortal enemy. Orochimaru, however, was knocked off, finally, from the high speed duel taking place, but was able to land safely on the ground via using his tongue as a grappling hook on nearby trees to swing to safety.

As soon as he was landed safely, though, he was in quite a dilemma; a murderous Black Mage facing him with five orbs of nonelemental energy swirling above his head, picking up centrifugal force while his fingernails oozed corrosive green slime. With his replacement Kusanagi destroyed, he had no alternative but to fight the white haired teen in hand to hand, blocking against Naruto's forearms and elbows to prevent being splashed or struck with the toxic liquid.

One of the orbs of white light flung itself at him when he was unprepared, the explosion of concussive force ripping off a leg, which was easily regenerated via shedding his skin. He was quite a bit more careful of those pretty lights after that. They traded blows, with the sand clothing of the Black Mage absorbing most of the blunt force of the punches and kicks, though a rib or two might have been bruised. The injuries he sustained, however, were healed by his passive use of the **Drain** spell upon the environment. Orochimaru was far worse off, as his normal advantage of extreme body flexibility over his foes was stripped from him, as the teen's natural flexibility was on par with his own modified body.

Taking a chance, Naruto inhaled deeply and breathed out a toxic cloud of air, causing the top layers of skin on the Snake Summoner who had been buffeted by it to rapidly decay. The pain from the nerves screaming at him caused Orochimaru to make a tactical retreat and lick his wounds.

* * *

A little ways away…

Jiraiya, Tenten, and Ino were currently on patrol near Oto territory, and had _felt_ the commotion coming from near Otogakure, and thus had felt the need to investigate. What they were ready for was Bijuu attack, kamikaze bombing, or experimental summoning seals. What they were _not_ ready for was seeing an army of monstrous aberrations waging war on Oto shinobi with a not-so familiar white head of hair at the center facing off against a definitely familiar black head of hair. When a green cloud of mist puffed out of white-hair and hit black-hair, causing black-hair to scream in agony and retreat while his _face was peeling away_, they got a bit concerned, not to mention suspicious. Who could be able to cause Orochimaru to run away in terror, screaming like a little girl?

Besides the Girl Scouts, of course. Their cookie selling gimmicks would make the poor Snake summoner terrified.

When Jiraiya pulled out his handy telescope (10x magnification for those really good close up shots of cleavage) to figure out who white-hair was, he grinned, causing Tenten and Ino to both question his sanity until he spoke.

"Naruto's kicking Orochimaru's ass!"

Both were slightly doubtful of this, until they both looked through the telescope as well. Tenten, with her sharp eyesight, was able to pick up something else.

"Hey, look! There's…refugees I think. Behind that wall that flickers a light silver every now and then!"

Jiraiya, after looking, confirmed that there were, indeed, refugees. Coming to a conclusion, they quickly departed towards the refugees to make sure they were all okay, as well as hopefully get a grasp of what was going on.

As they sidled up to the wall, they noticed there was a doctor or a laboratory assistant performing triage on what looked to be quite a few Konoha nin who were MIA, as well as nins from other countries as well. Ino immediately started going through hand seals for a medic technique, before Jiraiya stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, before speaking.

"There's a barrier here, and it's nothing I've ever seen before. We can't go in until whoever made it lowers it."

Taking out a large scroll, the Toad Sannin started writing a message across it that asked who put the barrier up, and if they needed any help with medical needs. Karin, who hadn't noticed them until they were right outside the barrier, scrawled a reply in the ground that Naruto made the barrier, and that they did need medical help, badly. Karin was running low on chakra and several of the prisoners of war would die within a few hours without additional help.

Right before they were about to doodle a reply, an arrogant voice sounded from behind them.

"Hn. Weak Konoha nins, here?"

All three turned around to come face to face with Uchiha Sasuke. Ino, her fury sparked at being unable to help those in need didn't even bother with 'witty banter' and simply stomped the ground with a variant of Tsunade's Super Strength technique, creating a deep chasm and shattering the ground around them in a large area to change up the battlefield. Tenten immediately plucked several senbon from special pockets inside her sleeves and pants that had a disproportionate amount of weapons for their small sizes, charged them with electricity and flung them with deadly accuracy at the Uchiha.

Sasuke, surprised that they didn't wish to banter with him, jumped up to avoid being caught in the collateral of the ground shifting, but was nailed in the calf with an electrified senbon, though he was able to avoid all the others. He pulled the needle out, blinked rapidly as he realized his calf was numb from the specific voltage channeled through the needle before staring back at them, his two tomoe (in each eye) Sharingan swirling sluggishly.

Before he could come up with another 'witty' comment, the two women attacked in perfect synchronization, careful to not use any specific taijutsu style or use ninjutsu/genjutsu. They relied on chakra manipulation (Ino with the strength technique) or elemental manipulation (Tenten with her lightning elemental affinity and metal weapons) so that the bloodline couldn't copy their techniques.

Ino took to the ground, bouncing off the rubble of the rocks stirred by her stomp, executing a chaotic form of taijutsu used by stringing together random moves that she learned through the years, augmented with the strength technique. Realizing that she'll end up harming the environment more often than hitting Sasuke, she switched to using **Chakra no Mesu (Chakra Scalpels)**, and switching from strong, straight attacks to more agile swipes.

Tenten, using chakra strings attached to senbon needles, was raining electrified needles from every direction, using her incredible hand-eye coordination to control up to ten needles per finger. She would have started pulling bombs, kusari-gama, katanas, and possibly a large mallet or two out of her pockets if she felt she would have a better chance to hit the wayward Uchiha with them instead.

Unfortunately, it seems Orochimaru had trained Sasuke intensely in…flexibility. Lots of flexibility. If nothing else, let it be said that the Snake Sannin is the best at flexibility, and thus taught it to his… apprentice. Or at least tried to. He had good flexibility, but lacked the body modifications that Orochimaru had, thus putting him at just below the amount a good gymnast would have, and much less than a contortionist.

He was able to (by using his Sharingan) predict and avoid most strikes, however. The numb calf muscle was hindering his movement, but he was working around it.

* * *

With Naruto…

Chasing the fleeing Orochimaru through the forest, he caught up with him near the sealed sphere housing the refugees. He also took note of the Toad Sannin who was observing the barrier as well as Ino and Tenten double teaming Sasuke. Getting fed up with the Snake Sannin's ability to shed his skin, he reached into thin air and withdrew the modified original Kusanagi, aiming for a final shot against the Snake Sannin with his own weapon.

Instead of the original shape of a hiltless sword, he had molded the shape into a double ended javelin with lethally poisoned tips indicative of the Kusanagi. It was about seven feet from tip to tip and was well balanced for both melee combat and for throwing.

He just needed a distraction…

As if a light clicked in his head, an absolutely diabolical smile split his face, instantly setting Jiraiya on edge.

Schooling his face into the appropriate role to play for this distraction, he called out in a breathy, flirty voice.

"Sasuke-kuuuuun! Your knight with shining hair has come to rescue you from the evil clutches of Orochi-baka! Come with me and let us run off into the sunset, so that I can bed you!"

This, of course, confused and horrified Sasuke (though only for the reason that the Curse Seal was only designed to make him submit to Orochimaru, as he apparently had no qualms about going with the much, much older man), and positively enraged the Snake Sannin. After all, he did a lot of planning to get Sasuke's body in his clutches, there's no way he's going to lose his prize for some walk-in with shiny hair! Before he could charge the Black Mage in a murderous frenzy, though, he was impaled like a butterfly on a pin by the poisoned javelin through his chest. The length of the weapon prevented him from shedding his skin, as it would have to be removed to heal the damage.

Kyuubi, having sensed he would be needed for something fun, bounded out of the undergrowth just as Orochimaru pulled off his last resort: attempt to take either Sasuke or Naruto's body as his own.

"**Fushi Tensei (Living Corpse Reincarnation)"**

Perception of the world faded to black for the two targeted by the ability as the soul of Orochimaru discarded its mortal coil, appearing in all its glory. It looked to be in the form of a large snake (go figure) made up of many smaller snakes, which were obviously the souls of those he had body jumped. He charged forward, attempting to force one of the two into submission, but failed horribly when a single word split the silence, heard even by those not experiencing the hostile body takeover.

"**Flare"**

Nonelemental energy gathered around the soul, forcing it to enter the visible spectrum before the energy forced its way into the soul-body, destabilizing while inside and destroying the Snake Summoner's soul entirely, leaving absolutely nothing left from the unstable energy.

As Sasuke was in shock that his mentor had just been… not killed… but completely _erased from existence_, Naruto took that time to spit a large glob of corrosive liquid directly onto the wayward Uchiha's crotch, preventing any new Uchiha children.

Naruto turned to Kyuubi with a rather malicious grin on his face, savoring the screams of the one person to truly harm him before speaking above the high pitched shrieking.

"Kyuu-kun, I believe that we are done here. Preparations for the final attack!"

The fox doll nodded, laughing loudly as the Black Mage hopped onto his back. They set off at a blurring pace, air knives carving a deep trench all around the battlefield, but excluding the current refugee encampment. Making sure to capture all borders of Otogakure, they arrived back at the starting point within ten minutes, listening to the continuing sounds of battle with the elemental automatons.

Not letting Jiraiya even say a word, he began drawing glyphs and runes in the air at a hasty pace, erecting another barrier via space/time. The sheer amount of manipulation required to create this new barrier made the fabric of reality bunch up uncontrollably for a split second before smoothing out as the unbreakable barrier was set below, on either side, and in a ring far up into the sky, through the atmosphere.

The first barrier around the refugees dropped, allowing Ino to assist Karin in stabilizing and healing the patients who were still wounded, though everyone still conscious turned to look at the Black Mage when power began _rolling _off of him.

Purple energy so dark and concentrated that it appeared _black_ was emanating off of him like a beacon, raising off of him in a mist and further concentrating in the air around him. His eyes glowed brightly in the afternoon sunlight, his clothing whipping about in an unknown gale as his hair started rising, not to float behind him, but to fly _straight up_ from the energy gathering.

Balls of multicolored light, attracted by the familiar feeling, coalesced into familiar humanoids, their souls allowed to be in the real world for a time due to the sheer _power _of this last spell.

As a twinkling light began to grow in the sky, Naruto began to sing an ancient song that his guardian once sung as a lullaby.

"Ieyui…"

Kyuubi came in, recognizing the melody.

"Nobomenu..."

Both sang in synch.

"Renmiri..."

The twinkling was growing brighter, as the shape turned spherical and became almost a second sun.

"Yojuyogo..."

As the falling meteor entered the atmosphere, catching flame, Lulu and the others joined in the song.

"Hasatekanae..."

With a sense of finality, they all ended the song, ending it just before the meteor slammed into the remains of Otogakure, obliterating it.

"Kutamae…"

All watched in absolute awe, even Sasuke stopped screaming to stare in dumbfounded shock as the action registered in their mind.

Naruto had fucking pulled a _star_ from the _sky _and had it _destroy a village_.

As their minds attempted to reboot from the Blue Screen of Death that caused, Naruto turned to Lulu and the others with a weary smile on his face, murmuring a "Lulu-okaa-san…" before falling against Kyuubi, who pulled him up and set him on the fox's back.

The ghostly woman as well as all of her friends gave fond smiles to the exhausted Black Mage, watching in slight awe as the last of the blonde hairs on his scalp drained of all color, becoming the same dead bone white as the rest. She bent down and gave her apprentice a kiss on the forehead, murmuring a simple "I'll always love you, Naruto-kun…" before they all faded away, proud smiles the last to disappear.

The Black Mage, too exhausted from the ordeal to do much else, broke his barrier and pulled back all the threads of his magic, restoring him to somewhat working order. He drew his hand through his completely white hair, flinging a large assortment of seeds into the air, which was then carried via a strong breeze to pepper the devastated area, devoid of all life after impact. He sent a strong pulse of mana through the seeds, jolting them into growth so that the area would not be lifeless for too many years, before turning a weary eye to the refugees who had finally rebooted their minds. Tilting his head to them, he spoke.

"We will rest tonight and allow those of you with debilitating wounds to be healed to somewhat mobility so that we can leave tomorrow to escort you back to your home villages. Please tell the children, when they wake up, that they no longer have to go back to Otogakure. If you need me, I'll be sleeping on Kyuubi."

Making sure to pluck the Akatsuki ring from the obliterated Orochimaru, the plush doll and Black Mage headed off to a quiet spot in the grove of trees, laying down amidst the children after cleaning off the blood with a quick water spell.

Pein, who had stayed undetected from Jiraiya, sat in a branch and leaned against the trunk of the tree above Naruto, shaking his head in numb amusement as he mused to himself.

'_And to think, he just wanted the hat.'_

* * *

Author's Note: It was kinda fun to write this, I have to admit. It was hard for me to get into the correct mindset for a real war-style fight, though, and I'm sure I probably didn't do as well as others could.


	10. Shameless Filler Chapter

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Spell/Technique"**

Disclaimer: Do not own anything featured here.

* * *

Shameless Filler Chapter

Naruto awoke in the early hours of the morning, lying sprawled across the Kyuubi's back. The doll was, oddly enough, twitching in his sleep. A low grumble of 'c'mere rabbit…nice and juicy…' was heard before the fox snuffled and quieted.

The Black Mage raised an eyebrow before giving a soft chuckle. He rolled off the Kyuubi's back; landing crouched on the ground before standing up and stretching. Running his fingers through his hair, now completely bone-white, he walked out of the grove of trees, silently passing by the assorted ninja and refugees sprawled out in the shade of the wood. He took special care to kick the sedated Sasuke in the side, though.

The element of frost responded to his subtle thoughts, creating a spiraling staircase in front of him which he ascended over forty feet to a platform, complete with a moderately comfy sand chair to watch the sunrise.

While waiting for the sun to arise from the horizon, he pulled out the grimoire he had been studying, almost completely decoded after a year of training. The content was rather odd, as the theory (as well as the entire idea) of undeath was but a myth, normally whispered within the same breath as the Nibi no Nekomata (two tailed demon cat). He had heard legends of the Nekomata raising armies from the dead, but never really thought it was worth it. Instead, he was reading the grimoire for something else; the possibilities of becoming a Lich.

A Lich was a spell caster who had ascended beyond death, normally to continue their studies. Within the tome, he had found quite a few stories of ancient wizards and sorcerers who had performed the ritual so that they could continue their obscure experimentation in desire to become something famous. After all, 'The Uses of Dragon's Blood in Sexual Encounters' would have become a best selling novel… eventually.

However, they never seemed to see the possibilities of such freedom, instead simply locking themselves away in their labs for decades. Their stupidity was monumental, especially when they allowed their body to rot away, becoming nothing more than a skeleton clad in rags capable of magic. Such a visage would be sure to bring 'adventurers' and whatnot down upon their heads in a holy crusade led by a church to 'cleanse the land of the undead taint'.

'_If you're foolish enough to let your body rot away when it doesn't have to, then you deserve to be burned at the stake'_ was the morbid thought of the Black Mage.

Unfortunately, the section of the tome set aside for the ritual to ascend to Lichdom was at the very back of the book, something that irritated Naruto to no end. Sure it was fun to read through people who had raised armies of the shambling dead to 'lay waste' (and what a phrase that was) to random villages and whatnot, but in the end they all were blown away in the desert of time, the dunes of civilizations toppling and reforming at the whims of the wind.

The dancing white flames that rotated around his head like a burning halo to provide light wavered a moment, letting him know someone was ascending his stairway. Allowing the frost to grow further out, widening the platform with a small gesture, he created another sand chair to allow the visitor some comfort. He was somewhat unsurprised when it was Jiraiya who had come, and quirked an eyebrow in silent question. The sannin seemed uncomfortable about something.

'_Oh. Right. I dropped a Meteor on a village and took it off the map. Maybe that's what's causing it…'_

"Yes?"

The toad sannin fidgeted a little more before taking a seat in the sand chair, keeping his silence as he seemed to struggle with something to say. The halo of white flames dissipated from above Naruto's head as he turned to the east, gesturing towards the horizon where the bruised purple and blue sky was beginning to lighten into soft pinks and oranges with a sliver of the burning orb of the sun peeking over the landscape.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Jiraiya was slightly surprised that someone capable of such brutality as witnessed the day before would find something like a sunrise so… fascinating. He gave a noncommittal shrug of the shoulders with a grunt of assent, still uncomfortable being within the presence of someone able to rewrite the landscape. Besides, sunrise had nothing on Tsunade's cleavage.

Unperturbed with his companion's uneasiness, the Black Mage got an idea. Naruto held the grimoire in his left arm, the spine aligning with his forearm as he used his right to draw his fingers through the air, allowing waves of soft lavender energy to surge from the platform, crashing into the decimated remains of Otogakure, and splashing all over the landscape with nary a sound.

Jiraiya looked on in awe as the barren _crater_ of what used to be a village vying to be considered on par with Kiri (Mist) or Kumo (Cloud) began to sprout in growth, the waves of mana stimulating the potential growth imbued within the seeds left behind the day before. The depression blossomed into growth, as a final tide of mana splashed across the landscape to toll the soil below the plant life and prevent the wasteland dying due to lack of nutrients.

When the sannin looked back to the Black Mage, he saw a soft smile on the normally indifferent face, increasing the surrealism of the situation. He sat back in the sand chair with a dazed expression to watch the sun continue its steady ascent into the morning sky. His trance was broken when Naruto spoke, a hint of sadness or guilt in his tone, Jiraiya couldn't figure out which.

"If I could, I would've killed off the humans from Oto but left the land free from harm. Unfortunately, the only way I can think of to do that would be to induce a plague, which would spread uncontrollably, even if it was contained. The plague would seep into the ground and lie in wait for someone to just pass by before continuing its rampage. Instead, I used brute force to decimate it, leaving no lingering effects so long as I repair the damage later. It still pained me, though, to know that all that plant life was snuffed out in a second."

The toad summoner arched an eyebrow at this, as a mental image of Naruto running around hugging trees flitted through his mind for a mere moment before it was smashed with a mental meteor. Such thoughts could only breed insanity, as it wasn't like Naruto was going to go around bandaging trees for getting injured…right?

The Black Mage cleared his throat as he saw Jiraiya go off in his own little world again.

"You came up here to speak with me about something, correct?"

Finally remembering his original mission, he nodded and cleared his throat before speaking.

"Yes. Tsunade, the Godaime Hokage, wishes to meet with you."

Naruto lifted a white eyebrow at that, before laughing in dark humor.

"One teammate down and you wish for me to kill another? What kind of team player are you, Jiraiya-san?"

The toad sage blinked rapidly before snorting in laughter, noticeably less tense than before.

"She wishes to meet the one Sarutobi-sensei had written so highly of in his reports. Said something about being a role model for ninja everywhere. She apparently doesn't believe all the bullshit the Council keeps trying to feed her about demons, Jinchuuriki, and the like."

Naruto tapped his chin thoughtfully with a finger, his purple eyes slightly misty as he envisioned the possibilities. Unbeknownst to him, the frost responded to his thoughts, creating a miniature of Tsunade hugging a miniature of him until the ice replica exploded from too much force. Jiraiya stuffed his fist into his mouth to avoid laughing as the chibi-Tsunade started pouting.

Naruto, snapping back to reality, saw what the element had done and frowned lightly before speaking.

"There are Konoha nin marked as MIA who are among the refugees, and I did give my word I would escort them to their former homes. I will meet with her then, and we will go straight to Konoha first. I do ask that you have her help Karin and Ino look after some of the more debilitated ones. Our mode of transportation will be slower than tree hopping, but quicker than walking. You may wish to leave today if you are to get to her to report before we arrive."

Jiraiya nodded in assent, before looking back to the horizon where the sun had raised enough to banish most of the fantastic colors that stained the sky at pre-dawn. He moved to start to descend the staircase when Naruto's voice halted him for but a moment.

"Oh. And tell her that, in no way, shape, or form, am I to be hugged."

The sannin burst out into laughter as he descended the stairway and taking to the trees, leaving Naruto musing to himself and reading his tome up at the top.

* * *

A few hours later…

The refugees had fully awoken, as well as the children, and Ino and Karin were busy assisting some of the more wounded when Naruto descended his stairway, the ice sublimating behind him.

As he came to the bottom, he looked out across the three hundred and fifty or so refugees that he had accumulated. Two hundred and fifty were adults held against their will, and the other one hundred were children between the ages of infant to ten years old. He cringed lightly when he wondered how their lives would have ended should he not have evacuated them.

Tenten and Ino were staying, having declined to hop back to Konoha with Jiraiya. They knew Naruto was going to need help with placating and comforting the refugees, as the Black Mage had little to no bedside manner. They were flitting among the children, speaking soothing words to the heartbroken children who were asking where their parents were. The aftermath was going to be devastating, but later on when the children had aged and realized what had really happened, they would be better than if they had stayed and grown up in Otogakure to become experiments.

Karin strode over to Naruto before mock-saluting with a light smile on her face. She was in good spirits this morning, as she was finally out of under Orochimaru's thumb! Never having to worry about him wanting to use her for a breeding experiment, having her heart break every time a new 'experiment' came in, or having to stifle tears that threatened to fall when she had to inject painkillers into a small child who was one of the 'experiments' to try and soothe their last hours. She was free! She spoke up in a serious tone used for reports, checking her lab coat for extra medical supplies as she did so.

"They're mostly alright, though a few are severely malnourished, and a few have infections from untreated torture wounds. The experiments are slightly unstable, especially the genetic splicing experiments, but they should be fine if we get them to a hospital where I can treat them within a few days. The children are heartbroken, because they're just now learning that their parents are gone, but a few of the older ones who knew what was happening in the village are taking care of the younger ones. It seems to be like the case of older orphans in an orphanage protecting and raising the younger ones like family."

Naruto nodded with a slight smile, before replying.

"We will be heading towards Konoha immediately. Tsunade of the Sannin is the Hokage at the moment, and their hospital will be the best that we can get them to. I believe some of them are MIA nin from Konoha, so we will have diplomatic immunity due to acting as armed escorts returning them to their home. Jiraiya headed out earlier this morning to get a head start so that Tsunade can get the hospital prepped."

Pein appeared from somewhere, looming over Naruto's left shoulder as he slipped a sheet of paper into the Black Mage's pocket. He spoke his piece before turning and disappearing once more in a way that only S-class nuke-nin can.

"Congratulations, Naruto-kun. Welcome to the Akatsuki."

The white haired teen gave a slight smirk, before going and collecting the plush doll who had decided to sleep in. He shrunk the doll back to its original shape, setting it carefully in the crook of his left arm. As he passed by it, he plucked the Kusanagi javelin from the ground and pushed it back into the folds between space. He turned to the amassed refugees and cleared his throat to bring attention back to him. The experience of the previous day vivid in their minds, the silence was almost deafening when all noise ceased to be and they turned to him with a combination of fear and hope in their eyes.

He spoke in a soft tone to avoid startling them, though the information carried within did the job anyway.

"We will be heading towards Konoha in a… unique form of travel. It is designed to avoid jarring injuries, as well as preventing too much movement. Tsunade of the Sannin is current Hokage, and thus their hospital will be the best equipped to help those of you with injuries. After you are all healed in Konoha, we will set off to the other places of residence you once occupied before Otogakure. Those of you that wish to stay in Konoha or any other village not your previous one will have to take it up with their leader. Any questions?"

A chuunin with black hair, tanned skin, and brown eyes, around twenty years of age raised his hand before speaking.

"What will happen to us who used to be ninja of Oto?"

Naruto gave a soft chuckle at that, surprising many, before he responded.

"You wouldn't be here if you weren't being held against your will within the village itself. You have Karin to thank for that, as her chakra sensing ability allowed me to locate you. You could probably seek employment in one of the other ninja villages, should you wish to stay in the shinobi lifestyle. After all, Otogakure is currently… err… not quite able to have their nin returned to them. You will be able to see what I mean when we begin moving. Any other questions?"

One former Oto jounin raised her hand. She had an odd shade of purple for hair, with red eyes, and was only about twenty five.

"Aren't you a nuke-nin of Konoha? How will you be able to gain access to the village?"

Naruto smirked slightly at that before responding.

"I have diplomatic immunity due to acting as armed escort returning MIA Konoha ninja. Not only that, but I actually resigned before leaving, but the Council doesn't like me. Any more?"

One child, around ten years of age with short brown hair and blue eyes raised his hand.

"How will we be moving? Some of us are hurt really bad, and can't move much."

The Black Mage raised a single hand, palm up, as an orb of beige-brown substance swirled into existence and floated above it. Many didn't understand the significance before the orb flattened out, and dozens of tiny figures appeared atop of it. Naruto dissipated it back into energy before raising an eyebrow.

"Is that all?"

No one had any further questions, so he nodded lightly before a mischievous smirk tugged at his lips.

"Very well then. Get ready."

Sand swirled into existence from beneath their feet, the ground sublimating into the particles as they began to lift off the ground. The mobile sand construct was a few hundred meters wide and circular. A circular plate of sand formed above them, blocking out the harmful sun's rays as they began rising above the treetops. Many gasped as they viewed the crater that once held Otogakure, now blossoming with new growth. It brought tears to quite a few, finally ending a chapter of torment in their life.

Naruto sat at the very middle of the sand construct, his mana leaking evenly to keep the construct and the plate above solid and mobile as they took off at a decent speed towards Konoha. He propped open his tome, attempting to decipher the last of the glyphs on the page on their two day journey to the village he originated from.

Unlike before, there was no food for the refugees, his mana too taxed on keeping the construct and plate steady and level to try and grow something from nothing, though he did supply water as it was everywhere in the air around them. They continued through the night, Naruto staying wide awake as he finished deciphering the second to last glyph, not taking much note of the time as he was too excited to really care.

* * *

Around noon of the second day, a few hours away from Konoha, a loud cry of "WHAT?!" split the sky. All the refugees turned to look at their savior-chauffer with a look of dread as the Black Mage glared accusingly at his plush doll, lightning bolts sparking in his palm held very close to the doll.

"Care to explain to me, Kyuubi, why you have a book dealing in rituals that _sacrifice the blood of children?!_"

The poor plush was actually in fear of the Black Mage for once, as there were very few things that could truly set off Naruto. Widespread destruction of the environment with no move to repair it (as he felt guilty that the stationary plants were caught in the crossfire), and harming children. Unluckily for Kyuubi, Naruto had inherited Lulu's extremely potent temper, something he experienced whenever he remarked on her clothing, or age.

A smirk of evil sadism lit up the Black Mage's face, making the poor doll recoil in horror as he knew exactly what was going to happen. The palmful of lightning settled on the doll's body, shocking the plush fur into extreme fluffiness, making the poor fox look more like a ball of fluff with ears, nose, and feet than anything else. Without any mercy at all, he locked down the doll's movement and lobbed it toward a group of female orphans with a call of "Make him look… _pretty_."

As the girls squealed and set upon the fluffball, Naruto glanced at the grimoire in his arms with a look of disgust. Apparently the ritual to become a Lich required the bloody murder of twenty to forty children. In fact, the ritual required the floor of the ritual room to be _saturated_ in their blood, meaning it would require butchery of small children to get enough blood. He snorted in disgust and immolated the book in a plume of white flame, not taking his chances with anyone learning the ritual for fear that they would actually _complete it_.

* * *

In an unknown area…

A musical voice spoke from where they were watching Naruto through a pool of water, laughing lightly as they watched him burn the book.

"Protector…guardian… he is perfection!"

* * *

Back with Naruto…

Arms crossed and glaring at the whimpering form of Kyuubi, still bedecked in ribbons and hair clips that the orphan girls had pulled out of… somewhere… Naruto looked both comical and imposing.

"Any other books that deal with the murder of children?"

The fox whimpered out a 'no' before curling up into a small ball, rocking back and forth as he tried to get the horrifying experience of being… _beautified_… by those… _evil devils_… out of his mind. He could only take solace in the fact that there was no glitter to be had. The Black Mage, taking slight pity on the traumatized fox, removed the hair clips and ribbons, as well as smoothed out the plush fur.

When the fox doll looked up at him as if he were Jesus walking across the water to bring him salvation, he made sure to mention he was only doing it so that he didn't look ridiculous carrying a fluffball doll into Konoha.

As they came within sight of Konoha, several of the MIA Konoha nin started to cry in happiness, something that made Naruto's left eye twitch slightly. Especially when they ran over to him, wanting to _hug _him.

The sand plates slowly lowered to the ground right outside the village gates, where an extremely busty woman was standing with her fists on her hips, backed by several squads… of doctors and nurses.

* * *

One day before…

To be honest, Tsunade was impressed with this 'Naruto' person she had read about from reports. While over half the village would call him a demon, a monster, and other such nonsense, the reports were nothing but good. There were notes that he seemed cold and apathetic to human life, but never truly instigated anything. He did react quite sadistically, though. Even she had to shudder when she read about his counter to Uchiha Sasuke putting a fist through his chest, as she never wanted to even _imagine _Orochimaru in short shorts.

She had sent Jiraiya, his apprentice/foster daughter Tenten, and her own apprentice, Ino, out to investigate the border between Hi no Kuni (Land of Fire) and Ta no Kuni (Land of Rice Fields). Their main mission was to investigate whether or not Orochimaru had encroached upon their country's borders, but Jiraiya had an ongoing second mission to ask Naruto to meet with her.

To pass the time, as they weren't due back from their observation mission for a few days to a week, she called in all the nins who had known Naruto (in a positive way). She was quite surprised by the assortment, with Team Gai (minus Tenten), Team 10 (minus Ino), Kurenai, Anko, Ibiki, and Yamato.

Covering her surprise quite admirably, she settled into her new 'Hokage Mode', complete with adjusted posture so her cleavage was below the desk, preventing any perverted men from seeing down her shirt. When she declared that she wanted all information, but not propaganda, on the enigma known as Naruto, she wasn't expecting them all to smile in different ways. Secretly, she activated the silencing technique on the room. Chouji was sheepish and a little ashamed, Team Gai was humble (even Neji), Asuma and Shikamaru were smug, Kurenai was embarrassed, and Anko and Ibiki were giving nearly psychotic grins to make any fanperson proud. The strangest one was Yamato, by far. He had a smile of almost fatherly pride on his face.

Kurenai stepped forward to give her report first, feeling slightly out of place.

"I didn't really know him that well, but from my observations he's rather cold. He shows no mercy to those who harm or attempt to harm him, and the only one that I know of that hasn't been horribly injured for trying is Kakashi. However, at the same time he does have a sense of humor, though it is rather dark."

She stepped back after that, allowing Neji to step forward with an indifferent expression on his face.

"He shows great honor in that he refuses to use his memory like the Uchiha use their Sharingan. He has admitted that he has eidetic memory, and instead of using it to copy techniques or fighting styles, he creates miniatures of shinobi in the form of specific people using their own fighting styles. An example would be when he was observing our team to assess what 'teamwork' was about, as his teacher was hypocritical about his views. After watching Lee and myself spar, he created small models of both of us, each using our respective fighting styles and allowed us to observe ourselves in a third person view to better ourselves. He shows remarkable care for the environment, as he seemed genuinely sorry for harming the trees when demonstrating his abilities."

After speaking more in a few minutes than he probably had all week, he stepped back, secretly enjoying the flabbergasted expressions on his comrades' faces. After regaining composure, Lee hopped forward and reiterated what Neji had said, though phrased with many references to the flower of youth, lotuses, and springtime. Gai looked oddly serious as he stepped forward to take Lee's place, and cleared his throat.

"Naruto-san indeed has great honor. He allowed me to document his hand to hand fighting style, which was actually a lost art, and even helped create diagrams and training regimens to recreate it. He shows great emotional reserve, but not in the way that traditional Hyuugas and Uchihas would; he shows absolute apathy, whereas they usually carry an air of superiority, as if to show emotion would be beneath them. This does not mean that, should he be slighted, that he wouldn't get even. My former rival, Kakashi, attempted to get him killed on their first C-rank mission and he enacted retribution by not only de-masking him and getting photographic proof of it, but distributing the photographs to his fan club."

Neji winced discreetly at that, having had experiences with his own fan club that he'd rather forget. Gai stepped back, allowing Asuma to step forward.

Asuma came forward, relaying his limited knowledge of the puzzle, and describing that he showed no tolerance to fanpeople at all, even using senbon to silence his blonde student when she was still a fangirl.

Chouji had a bit less information, so he simply said that, after he had spoken to the blonde once or twice, he noticed that he wasn't really all that bad. A bit cold and detached, but not all that bad.

Shikamaru stepped forward next, and was secretly the one Tsunade was looking forward to the most.

"Naruto-san is quite an enigma. At one point he'll show great destruction and merciless killing, but on the other hand he didn't know how to approach my team to speak with Asuma-sensei about observing teamwork in action. He seemed… lost, maybe, when it came to confrontation without violence. He shows incredible creativity, in that most abilities he displays he won't show again, preventing others from predicting his behavior. He also showed a slight amount of sympathy for my team when we met in the Forest of Death, saving us from another team. He did kill them in an incredibly brutal fashion, but he did slap Ino to get her out of her panic attack, pointed us in the right direction, and even handed us a scroll so we could get medical help sooner. He seems greatly connected to the element of Ice, as if he carries some form of emotional attachment to it. He also shows great amounts of sadism to those he attacks, prolonging suffering as long as he can without it becoming a hindrance to his efficiency. Such an example would be when he poisoned Kiba-san for attacking him; he gave him an incredibly painful poison that debilitated him, but wouldn't last long enough or leave aftereffects to hinder him in the Chuunin Exams."

Shikamaru stepped back after his report, still smiling a bit. Anko stepped forward next, ready to give her report.

"He's kick ass! He knew we were watching the Forest of Death during the second exam, so he made sure we were entertained! He summoned a giant flaming squirrel to kill some of the other teams, and even dropped a huge pillar of ice on another!"

She was almost vibrating with excitement, causing Ibiki to pull her back and give his own report, more informing than hers.

"He seemed interested in keeping his legacy alive. He gave Anko and I a scroll that will allow us to have his own fighting style as our clan style when we get married, but he was realistic enough that he placed several protections on it to prevent the Council or any other from stealing the information from us. He didn't seem…really in the right mind, though, if I'm being honest. He felt… off. As if he wasn't really all there. Perhaps he dwells on the past too much."

He was replaced by Yamato after giving his report, and the Mokuton using ninja's smile had only gotten wider as he heard the other reports. He cleared his throat before giving his own.

"I actually was the last one to really have a conversation with him before he left. He knew he was going to leave Konoha, and even told me so before asking if I'd teach him Mokuton. I noticed he has a great love for growing things, something that he probably tries to keep hidden. I'd imagine that, as his other techniques cause so much destruction, he would want to subconsciously want to make amends for all the devastation he causes. Oddly enough, his doll is alive."

It was at this point that many stared at him as if he were insane, before he elaborated.

"He explained that, when he was younger, he did a ritual to bind the soul and youki of the Kyuubi into a plush doll. This leads me to believe he was mentored by someone more powerful than him, as he wouldn't have the knowledge of such a ritual at a young age. The fox, oddly enough, is not quite the mindless monster we believed it to be. Rough around the edges, yes, but it didn't seem like it was going to go on a rampage. More like it was just something it did on a whim. They were actually playing Go when I went to go make tea… and the fox was winning. I feel sort of proud of him, actually. I was able to pass on the Mokuton element, something that I couldn't do before due to the nature of how I came to possess it."

It was at this moment that Jiraiya came through the open window, a grin on his face as he turned to Tsunade.

"I found Naruto! And he's headed here with about… three hundred and fifty refugees. Quite a few need medical attention."

Tsunade was now unable to dismiss the others now that they were incredibly curious as to why refugees would be traveling with Naruto. Any dismissal would simply lead to eavesdropping which would be more dangerous to information leak than if they were simply debriefed on the situation and told to hold their silence.

"Continue, Jiraiya."

The toad sage dropped into a more serious mood instantly, shutting the window he came through. He seemed quite uncomfortable describing what had happened with younger genin in the room, but launched into his report despite it.

"From what I gather, he launched a siege on Otogakure alone. According to some of the refugees who watched the fight, they said he created golems, or automatons out of pure elemental manipulation. He had one capture a laboratory assistant/medic-nin called Karin, who has an ability to sense chakra far more accurately than anyone else, even able to sense emotions from very minute chakra fluctuations. According to them, Karin locked in on their positions from the emotions of hopelessness, reluctance, and hatred in a combination that denoted that they were being held against their will. He apparently also evacuated all the children from the village, an incredibly small number of only a hundred or so due to Orochimaru constantly taking them for his experiments."

Yamato twitched in repressed anger at this, while others looked horrified at the inhumanity of the snake sannin. Unperturbed, Jiraiya continued his report.

"From what I can gather, he created an _army_ of elemental golems, about three hundred and fifty all told. He had the Kyuubi _blast into the village _through youki alone and poisoned their water as well as shut down their electricity. He fought against Orochimaru, using sand manipulation, and these balls of white energy that exploded into concussive force on impact. At one point, he breathed poison into Orochimaru's face, causing his skin to rapidly decay to make the snake sannin retreat. He used up his sand manipulation to create a _giant mongoose _of sand to take out Manda. In the end, he distracted Orochimaru by declaring that he was there to save Sasuke so he could bed the Uchiha, which infuriated Orochimaru long enough that Naruto impaled him on a javelin, preventing him from shedding his skin. I got to see Orochimaru's immortality technique first hand when he tried to take over either Sasuke's or Naruto's bodies, but the same white energy destroyed his soul from the inside out."

Anko gave a squeal of delight, as she now knew that Orochi-chan was dead! Ibiki gave a grin, as now he and Anko could get married now that they knew Orochimaru would be unable to interrupt the ceremony in his normal annoying way. Tsunade blinked rapidly before asking the question foremost on her mind.

"How did the refugees see this? Wouldn't they be in danger from collateral damage?"

Jiraiya scratched the back of his head a bit, obviously embarrassed about something before replying.

"He, uh, created a barrier the likes of which I've never seen. It allowed for those inside and outside to look through it, but it blocked _everything _else. Sound, air, weapons, genjutsu, you name it. The final part of the siege, though, is what disturbs me."

Tsunade raised a single eyebrow, as she knew it was incredibly hard to disturb Jiraiya. She would know, as she remembered a time in their genin days when Jiraiya got his hands on some sake and woke up in the same sleeping bag as Orochimaru. Ever since, he had devoted himself to heterosexual pornography, and had been impossible to fluster. She gestured for him to elaborate, which caused him to take in a deep breath before dropping a bombshell.

"He dropped a meteor on the village. Otogakure is completely gone. Only an identical barrier to the one that protected the refugees contained the aftermath and prevented extreme repercussions."

Tsunade's (and the other assorted audience's) jaws _dropped_. An entire village wiped completely out? It was unheard of, as usually at least a few hundred to a thousand nins and refugees would escape before a siege came to an end, and they tended to create very fanatically driven resistance forces.

"Oh, and Tsunade, since this meeting is about him… His hair is white now. Not like my hair, but more corpse-like. It looks… unnatural. His control on the elements is a little out of whack, too, as they're responding purely to his thoughts now. He was thinking about coming here to meet you, and the ice created a mini version of both you and him, with you hugging him until he shattered. Thus, he says that in no way, shape, or form is he to be hugged. He'll probably be here tomorrow or the day after, depending on how much he exerts himself to transport the refugees. I'd suggest getting the hospital prepped for some pretty varied cases. Karin, who also hated working for Orochimaru, will have all the information you need on what happened to the patients. Also, some advice for dealing with him; don't try to sugarcoat things, as it only makes him believe you're attempting to flatter him or withhold information."

Jiraiya, his piece said, waited for orders. Tsunade, after telling them that, under no circumstances are they to repeat what they had heard, dismissed the others. She turned to Jiraiya with a critical eye, noting how he was twitching every now and then and had bags under his eyes to denote lack of sleep. Clearly, seeing Otogakure get wiped out completely really got to him. She gave him strict orders to go and relax, even giving him clearance to peek in the hot springs so long as he didn't get caught if it would help him wind down.

She notified Shizune that she was going to the hospital, and hopped out the window to start preparing the hospital for the influx of patients.

* * *

Back to a day after (that sounds weird)…

Looking out across the accumulated refugees, Tsunade was impressed, and a little relieved. Naruto had been able to move them without aggravating their injuries, and she couldn't help but be slightly in awe when she realized he had been carrying them on that platform of sand all day and night without rest, as denoted by the slight bags under his purple eyes.

She was about to give the doctors, med-nin, and nurses orders to not jar their injuries any more when Naruto spoke up.

"Allow me, Tsunade-san."

He gave a slight smile to her, before his eyes flared a brighter purple. A _wave _of purple energy slashed out behind him, splashing across the injured refugees like an insubstantial tide breaking across rocks. Water globules collected from the air, encapsulating their bodies from the neck down to prevent further jarring of injury, and lifted them a few inches off the ground.

The assorted medical staff had their jaws dropping, as the last time they had seen something like that was a year before when he had brought in Lee the same way. But to be able to do it to so many at once… it was phenomenal.

The refugees were also in slight awe of this ability, but not nearly as much as the medical staff. After all, if you've seen him drop a star from the sky onto a village, then large water bubbles used as medical transport aren't that great.

The Black Mage slid his hands into the sleeves of his haori, giving a light grin at the slug summoner before tilting his head to her in respect.

"Shall we go, Hokage-san? Karin-san, would you inform her of the special needs of some of the individuals?"

The red haired medic gave a nod, before pulling Tsunade to the side as the procession of injured went by, with medical staff on either side of the bubbles, asking questions about injuries the patients had. After telling the sannin about the genetic splicing patients who had very specific chemical needs to stabilize them, something she was glad Konoha had on hand, they both set off to the hospital at the back of the procession with Ino and Tenten, who took care to fill in Tsunade on some of the things Jiraiya may have missed. Sasuke, the last body in the procession, was still sedated.

Many villagers watched in awe, as well as confusion and suspicion as the water bubbles hovered towards the hospital, led by a somewhat familiar, but unrecognized white haired individual.

* * *

After getting the patients situated into the hospital, Naruto asked Tsunade a rather interesting question.

"Is there any medicinal herb you are lacking currently?"

The slug sannin nodded, absently ticking off an herb that was extremely hard to find and was thought to be extinct. The herb was actually quite important, as the effects it caused restarted a stopped heart, and sped up blood circulation.

"It may not look the same, nor be genetically the same, but this should do the same effect. Feel free to test it yourself."

A maroon glow encased his palm, before a seed coalesced out of the energy, sprouting into a demonic looking version of a lotus. The stem and leaves were a shade of gold, oddly enough, and the petals were a shade of red normally attributed to fresh blood. She plucked the flower from his hand, before thanking him and heading off to the lab to make sure it was usable.

With the legendary medic suitably distracted, Naruto gave a soft chuckle before disappearing within a black void. Had anyone been in the hall at that moment, they would have heard a rather disturbing declaration.

"Kakashi-san… your time has come. Let your death mean the life of a thousand others."

* * *

In Kakashi's Apartment…

The void opened up once again, allowing Naruto to land soundlessly upon the floor. It was mid afternoon, so Kakashi should be home reading Icha Icha, since he didn't have a team (Sasuke) to teach.

A soft voice echoed inside his mind, lost in the chaos of his thoughts of how to deal with his former teacher.

"My guardian… my champion… come to me…"

As he crept through the apartment, he felt the air shift and turned his body to the side in an almost lazy movement, allowing Kakashi to drop down from the ceiling, kunai in hand, and hit the ground only a few inches away from him. When Naruto spoke, it was in a cold, grim tone.

"Ah, Kakashi-san… you have saved me the trouble of looking for you."

The copy-nin simply glared before blurring into motion, only to slam into a barrier of black frost blocking the window.

"Ah, ah ah… can't have you alerting others, now can we? This is between you and me."

Kakashi felt fear tingle down his spine as he began sealing for a technique, only to gasp in pain as he felt a thin weapon impale him through the left lung. Looking down, he saw that it was a javelin, a shade of black so pure it absorbed light into it, preventing any reflection.

Behind him, the corners of Naruto's mouth quirked upward in a harsh smile, whispering the last words the copy-nin would hear into the gray-haired man's ear.

"Your life force will feed the flora, Kakashi-kun."

As the javelin was pulled from his body, the Black Mage twisted a hand in the air, causing Kakashi's body to vaporize and leaving not even ashes behind, only a ball of swirling silver energy in his palm.

The white-haired teen held the orb up to his face, peering at it with a contemplative look, before a cynical smile crept onto his face.

"My, my, my… my sire would be _so _disappointed in your behavior, though I must say I'm impressed. This will be able to rejuvenate many trees. What a shame you were so closed-minded."

The frost sublimated back into the atmosphere, allowing beams of golden sunshine to pour through the windows once again as he slipped out of the apartment through an ice mirror, a stray snowflake tumbling in the breeze behind him.

* * *

Inside the Hokage's Office…

Naruto's lips twitched upwards very slightly into a semblance of a smile as he tossed the silvery orb between his hands. He sat in the chair opposite of the Hokage's, waiting for Tsunade to return from the hospital. He didn't have to wait long, as the woman appeared through the door with a distracted frown on her face before she saw her visitor, and tried to give a smile, only succeeding in looking tired from the amount of work she had ahead of her. She raised an eyebrow at the javelin in his lap, though there was no blood on it.

Quickly taking a seat across from him, she debated going into 'Hokage Mode', but decided against it. She was about to try to drum up some subject to hold his attention while she tried to think of a way to ask him an important question, but failed miserably when he locked his amethyst eyes with her honey-brown ones and spoke.

"You wished to meet with me, Tsunade-san?"

Giving a sigh of resignation, she simply decided it was better to come out with it.

"I wanted to hear, from you, how Konoha went wrong. If I'm to better the village, I need to know how it's malfunctioning, and to do that I need the advice of someone who was slighted again and again by this village. I also wanted to learn more about you, as you're quite the enigma. Disappeared for twelve years only to turn up again with the capabilities of mass destruction, and a personality like a puzzle. I've read nothing but good things from Sarutobi-sensei's notes, but even he knew nothing about you."

The same soft voice spoke into his thoughts, only louder, managing to be heard over the normal chaos of a human's thoughts. It was androgynous, seemingly neither male nor female, or possibly both. It contained an eerie reverberating echo, with words whispered within its own speech.

"My avatar (my shield)… my sentinel (my chosen)… come to me…"

Blinking rapidly, and deciding to look in on that mysterious voice a little later, he decided to go on a whim and humor the legendary medic-nin. If anyone could keep an open mind, it would be a med-nin who had to deal with life and death every day, setting aside personal bias to heal the wounded regardless of how they'd normally act with the patients outside the hospital.

"Your village is corrupted from the innermost sanctum; your Council. They subverted authority from the previous Hokages, starting from the Sandaime's first term. He was too soft hearted in peace time to enact retribution, allowing Ne (Root) to grow regardless of how it was supposed to be shut down. The Council spreads their lies to the populace, using whispered words and a politician's deceit to turn them to their side. They consider the shinobi to be mindless slaves to be killed off and replaced like merchandise, and it will only lead to their destruction."

Tsunade nodded a bit, writing some of the facts down as she absorbed the information. She lifted an eyebrow in silent gesture for him to continue, only to be slightly surprised to see a small, rueful smile break out on Naruto's face.

"I do not know the inner workings of Konoha more than that. I do know that the Council is the epicenter of the corruption, and thus they spread it. That is all. Is there something else you wished to ask of me?"

The med-nin gave a light laugh, remembering she was hoping to learn all answers from a sixteen year old, before answering.

"Yes. I want to know why you are the way you are, as many gave me slightly conflicting reports, and I must say I'm curious, as well."

The same voice spoke up in his mind again, wrapping around his thoughts like a protective parent, soothing him.

"My soul (my weapon)… my child (my voice)… trust her…"

The Black Mage gave a melancholic laugh, before his lips curled into a smile devoid of emotion.

"You wish to know? Your sensei had Yamanaka clan members seal my memories constantly at a young age, hoping that, if he made me forget the villager's hatred, that I would have a normal life. He implanted a chakra tag in my system and used a scrying crystal to locate me via the tag, yet somehow never seemed to know when I was in danger. He declared me dead when someone with black hair and red eyes took care of me, jumping to the conclusion that she was the Kyuubi released. He watched the world through rose-quartz glasses, seeing no evil and hearing no evil within his beloved village."

Tsunade nodded a little, as, though she loved Sarutobi dearly, she knew he was too soft on those from his village. His allowing of Orochimaru to escape was a prime example of it, as well as not taking the fight between him and the snake summoner seriously, leading to his death. She was a little surprised at the information of the chakra tag and the Yamanaka memory seals, but it was believable. Before she could begin to speak, glowing blue frost began creeping from the chair her guest was seated in, crawling down the chair legs and pooling into a circular area off to the side, where it began stirring. Naruto was slightly misty eyed as he kept talking, not paying attention to the ice.

"I was taken in by a dead woman, her soul bound to the material plane by her subconscious refusal to fully die until she had completed one last task."

The frost began taking a humanoid shape, ascending to the height of 5'6".

"She wasn't a bad mother by any means, but due to our power we couldn't express too much emotion. Our power is bound by our will alone, and should our emotions ever surpass our will, they will lash out."

The ice began molding into a human visage, a female body figure.

"Kyuubi also helped raise me, bound as a doll to be my guardian, as our power is weak against being attacked with speed in melee combat."

The ice-woman began to take on human coloring, and Tsunade was a little jealous that the golem's breasts might actually be bigger than hers.

"She was a strict mentor, but sympathetic to human limitation. She knew when to push me, and when I was too weak to be pushed harder."

The woman fully formed, clad in outlandish clothing and holding a small Onion Knight doll in her left arm. She was beautiful, though her posture suggested she was quite indifferent to most.

"It's actually almost funny, in a way. I was treated better by a dead woman who had spent _thousands of years _staying away from civilization to avoid turning into a monster jealous of all life than I was in Konoha."

The woman stayed stock still, her single exposed red eye dull and glassy, void of life. Naruto looked up at her with a sad expression, before moving a hand in a shooing motion, causing the frost to sublime.

"And now all I can do to remember her is to keep my promise to her that I'll take care of myself."

A burst of green energy manifested behind him, growing into a vision of a monumental tree that would easily eclipse the village. Tsunade was in awe at the sight, something that Naruto was ignorant to as he couldn't feel it or sense it. It vanished as quickly as it came.

Naruto went back to contemplating the silvery orb hovering near his face, before speaking again.

"In reality, there is nothing in this world for me. I am too powerful and if I continue upon the path set before me, my thoughts will trigger meteor impacts that could destroy the entire planet. I will be alternately revered as a god and cursed as a devil of unimaginable power. That is all I have to say. Is there anything else you wish to ask of me, Tsunade-san?"

The med-nin shook her head, giving the Black Mage a small smile before standing up and walking over to him.

"I know you said no hugs but…"

She pulled him into a slight hug, not augmenting her strength at all and being very careful not to prick herself on the Kusanagi javelin. Naruto returned the hug, if only lightly, before he bid her goodbye and disappeared, javelin and orb disappearing with him.

After disposing of Kakashi's life force, feeding it into the area around the Monument Stone, Naruto grew an ice crystal spire within the Forest of Death, determined to find out what the voice in his head was.

He attempted to speak with it once or twice, confused as to the nature of it, but only got light laughter in response. He spoke of it with Kyuubi, who noted that it couldn't be celestial or infernal in nature, as he would've sensed its presence. That left only something natural, but it probably wasn't another human. When Naruto reached his mana towards it, he felt incredible power contained within, though it was blocked by an ethereal barrier to prevent him from reaching too close. It made him curious as to why a being with that much power wanted him as an 'avatar', a 'weapon', and a 'shield'.

Perhaps it was something that could not physically defend itself, despite how incredibly powerful it was?

* * *

After two weeks and a few days, the refugees were able to be moved back to their original homes. Many of the children opted to stay in Konoha, liking its feeling, and Naruto could only bid them good luck as he strode to the head of the remaining refugees, where Tsunade was waiting with a slight smile playing along her lips.

"You're welcome to visit anytime, Naruto. Unfortunately, you are still ranked as an S-class nuke-nin due to the Council having control over the Bingo Book, but I, alone, control the shinobi of the village, so you will not be attacked. Take care of yourself."

Naruto gave a half-smile, before his power flared into life. The refugees looked on in awe as a black void coalesced ahead of them. Naruto spoke softly over the hushed silence.

"This is a gateway, created through the manipulation of space. It is an instantaneous transport to any place that I can remember, and due to my eidetic memory, I remember everywhere I've been. This will lead to the edge of Hi no Kuni (Land of Fire) on the border to Kaze no Kuni (Land of Wind). Those of you from Suna who wish to arrive without an escort of an S-class nuke-nin, feel free to use this."

Several of the refugees nodded, thanking him profusely as they walked through the void to be transported to the border. He continued opening gateways to all the borders, before looking to the final amount of refugees, only fifty in number.

"Where would you all like to go?"

Oddly, all fifty wished to go to Ame (Rain), having heard that they were accepting refugees after the country's civil war was over. Checking the slip of paper in his pocket that detailed a hat shop at the border of Ame and Hi no Kuni, he nodded before tapping the ground with his foot, teleporting them close to the border through a **Suna Shunshin (Sand Body Flicker).**

* * *

The refugees looked on in slight bewilderment as they made a stop at a hat shop to pick up a large Kasa (bamboo hat) with small strips of cloth tipped in bells. Nearly all of them blinked in surprise and bemusement as Naruto got a child's version of the hat and placed it on his doll.

The Black Mage was noticeably more jovial on the way back to Ame, decked out with his new hat that jingled as he walked. The Kyuubi was also snickering every now and then, enjoying his own hat.

The refugees politely thanked him as they reached Ame, each disappearing to go their own way while Naruto tipped the Kasa over his eyes (a movement he felt looked imposing to onlookers) before disappearing into an ice mirror that formed under his feet, sinking slowly into it.

* * *

Inside the Amekage Tower…

He appeared outside the Amekage's office, and knocked politely. As soon as he set his eyes on Pein, sitting behind the desk, the voice in his mind screamed in alarm.

"DO NOT TRUST HIM!"

He suppressed a wince of pain, blinking to cover the twitch it came out as, and needled the voice for information. The reverberating echo, when applied to a yell, was quite painful. He didn't get much information out of the voice, only something about humans who lack humanity, further solidifying his theory that the voice wasn't human.

Pein, ignorant of the mental conversation Naruto was going through, activated a hidden switch on his desk, allowing a door to open in a wall that lead into a passage. The passage itself spiraled down around the tower, hidden as blank wallspace, and ended in a basement level. Along the way, Pein revealed that the organization's spy had been at the invasion of Konoha, and knew that Naruto had sealed the Ichibi Jinchuuriki within a large scroll. He revealed that they needed to extract the bijuu from the jinchuuriki before they could extract the last three bijuu, the Rokubi (six tailed), the Shichibi (seven tailed), and the Hachibi (eight tailed) as their sealing process required the first five before the final four could be sealed.

Naruto agreed, unsealing the scroll from a smaller scroll which had been hidden within an inner pocket, and handed the large scroll to Pein. As they reached the basement level, they walked into a large room with an odd statue situated in the middle. It had nine eyes, four of which were open with the pupils visible, while the other five were closed. Two stone hands, bound with a chain, were in front of the statue with the large fingers spread upwards, each easily thirty feet in height.

On the stone fingers, eight other members of Akatsuki were already standing, indifferent to the three captured jinchuuriki currently thrashing against chakra and youki binding chains against a wall. They were apparently the jinchuuriki for the Rokubi, Shichibi, and Hachibi, having been captured until a time where the Ichibi was extracted. A spare member of Akatsuki was lounging against another wall, watching the proceedings apathetically.

Naruto nearly winced again as the voice within his head spat venomously at how the rest of the Akatsuki were giving off strange feelings of smugness, arrogance, and greed.

All through the sealing processes, something that took much less time with ten than it did with nine, taking only twelve hours instead of three days and nights, Naruto was conversing with the voice, as he was starting to become suspicious of what Akatsuki was up to. He knew they wanted the bijuu sealed, and Itachi had mentioned they wanted the power of the bijuu…

The voice was being most unhelpful, as it had no knowledge of their goals, only that they were not to be trusted. The Black Mage found himself trusting the voice more and more, as it wasn't ever attempting to lie to him, coerce him, or persuade him to join it. The calls to go to it had halted after he had acknowledged it. The ethereal barrier was weakening between him and it, allowing him to better perceive the power of the voice in his head.

It was more than he could possibly imagine. The power didn't burn with intensity as his did, though. It shimmered and rippled like an ocean, with several hundred (perhaps thousands) of threads branching off into the void. When he had asked what the threads were, it had replied that others borrow its power to prevent aging, something it allows them to do as they repay it by tending to it.

* * *

Just as they were finishing the final sealing, a full two days later, Kakuzu spoke.

"Now we have the power of every bijuu, including the nine tails."

Pein nodded to him, before speaking in his deep tones.

"Yes. Now we will control the Elemental Countries. They will bow before us, or be destroyed."

Naruto, who had been resting his eyes while leaning against a wall, opened them wide in shock. If they were going to browbeat the Elemental Countries… the devastation would be catastrophic. Resistance forces (and the land caught inbetween the crossfire) would be obliterated... Even if they submitted to Akatsuki, who was to say that the humans in control wouldn't release the might of the demons anyway just to prove their power? So many lives… so many lives would be lost.

Pein, who had been observing Naruto closely, noticed the hardening of the Black Mage's eyes and spoke, calling the attention of the rest of the Akatsuki.

"Is there something you disagree with, Naruto-san?"

The voice wrapped around his mind once again, calming him with a soothing cacophony of whispers as he stood.

"You would destroy so much life just to prove your superiority?"

The members all nodded, something that took him aback. They all would do that…?

Naruto stood, head bowed as he stared at his feet, the voice screaming for retribution in his ears. His voice was but a whisper, as his eyes began to glow brighter in the dim light of the cave.

"I won't allow it."

Within a blink of an eye, the other nine members (plus Tobi, who had been sitting out on the sealing process) had him surrounded, hands already beginning seals. The violet light brightened in his eyes as the rain above the Amekage tower turned to frozen needles, shredding through over two stories of the tower within a few seconds and destroying Pein's other six bodies due to Pein's concentration being on the lone body in the basement, which exploded into a forest of ice.

* * *

Author's Note: Hm... probably only going to be another chapter. Maybe two. The ending was a bit rushed, I admit. Descriptions of Akatsuki member appearances will be in the next chapter, for those who do not know what they look like.


	11. Guardian of All Creation

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Spell/Technique"**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything alluded to in this story or any other I write.

* * *

Guardian of All Creation

The hail of ice senbon was halted as soon as Pein realized what had happened. Internally, he berated himself for his trusting of the former Jinchuuriki, as it had just cost him dearly; he had no extra bodies. He was confined to just the one. No matter, he still had the Rinnegan (Samsara or Transmigration Eye) to assist him. He cancelled the rainfall around Amegakure (Hidden in the Rain) to prevent such another occurrence of senbon.

Amongst the spires of cobalt frost, Naruto felt the ceasing of the weather, preventing him from causing cosmic showers of terminal velocity senbon. He didn't mind all that much, as while it was a good opening technique, it would be worthless in assault as he would have to shield himself from them just as much as others would. Melding into the forest of frost, he searched for his prey.

He released the Kyuubi from the forest, giving him specific orders to unseal the demons from the statue with any means necessary. This fight was his own, and so long as the demons were within the statue, there was a possibility that Pein could use them against him.

As soon as he caught sight of where the Akatsuki members were, all of them vanished as black fire spawned above the forest, bearing down upon the unnatural construct with the heat of the sun. He quickly escaped, not willing to let the fire touch him. As he touched down on the ground, he was faced with Uchiha Itachi, Mangekyou Sharingan (Kaleidoscopic Copy Wheel Eye) whirling in his sockets.

Midnight fire shot from the Uchiha's right eye, prompting a trail of bloody tears to fall from the strain upon the organ.

"**Amaterasu (Goddess of the Sun)"**

Baring his teeth in a grimace, the Black Mage countered with a whirling torrent of pure white flames. While they consumed less oxygen than the black flames, they proportionately had less heat. However, they stalled the black flames long enough for him to teleport away from the warring flames, a gale force wind springing to life around him.

A rather pretty kunoichi appeared before him with navy blue hair pulled backwards in a bun accentuated by a paper rose behind her right ear. She was only about 5'6", with pale skin, cobalt blue eyes, and was wearing the standard Akatsuki garb. She had a single piercing through her bottom lip, and her stature and gaze depicted her emotionless demeanor. She spread her arms, causing thin sheets of paper to whirl towards Naruto, shaping themselves into senbon, shuriken, and kunai.

"**Kami Shuriken (Paper Shuriken)"**

Scowling darkly at the co-leader of Akatsuki, the gale of wind whipped to hurricane-like speed. The paper weapons were strangely unaffected by the wind, prompting him to seed sparks of white fire into the wind, turning it into a blazing glory of a firestorm. Konan immediately backed out of range, suffering several burns upon her body from the scorching heatwave.

A tri-bladed scythe sliced through the firestorm, nearly catching the Black Mage in the shoulder and pulling his attention to yet another member of Akatsuki. This one was taller, about 6'0", and had slicked back silver hair. His eyes were a rather odd shade of pink and were glinting in bloodlust at the prospect of a battle. His teeth were bared in an unsettling enthusiastic grin.

"Fuck yeah! Finally, someone who's not afraid to fight!"

The Black Mage, getting incredibly agitated at not having neutralized at least one of the threats, flung several spears of ice towards the High Priest of Jashin. Hidan deflected them with a skilled gesture of his scythe which had returned to him like a boomerang, before charging towards the white-blonde.

Naruto dashed forward, his feet and legs beginning to sink into the earth before he was completely swallowed, just a few feet away from the immortal. Hidan was rather perplexed, until he heard a voice behind him.

"You will die here, aberration."

A cold touch hit the back of his skull, and he whirled around with scythe in hand to attack the threat, finding nothing. Unknown to him, a hand print of black frost was slowly spreading across the back of his head. The ice was slowly killing even him, as it was causing every single cell in its path to explode by freezing the water in the cell, forcing it to expand until it finally burst.

He would 'die' within a few minutes, his divine link to Jashin binding his soul to a body with no function whatsoever.

* * *

A few hundred feet away…

Slipping out of the ground with no mud upon his person, he searched for his next target. A few clay butterflies flitted towards him, distracting him as they neared. Sensing danger, he backflipped away just as they exploded, only to be subject to a shredding force from behind. His sand clothing was unable to block it entirely and it caused bloodshed from shallow wounds upon his back.

Regaining his composure before it could slip, he landed on one hand, twisting his body grotesquely to sweep the feet out of under his assailant with his own. With a sickening pop of bone, his spine realigned itself and he slipped through the ground to avoid a few more clay insects, reappearing some distance away.

Kisame had regained his footing, grinning at the blood staining his Samehada, while overhead another member of Akatsuki was molding more clay into weapons. The airborne assailant was blonde, reminding Naruto of Yamanaka Ino, and had part of his hair pulled back into a ponytail with the rest let loose. A single long bang obscured his left eye, held aloft by a scratched Iwa (Rock) hitai-ate. He was around 5'4", looked somewhat androgynous, and had brown eyes with an excited grin on his face.

"Naruto-san, I will show you the beauty of my art, un!"

The air chilled dangerously, the ground underneath the Black Mage's feet being covered in frost. Leaping upward to avoid inconspicuous clay grasshoppers, he stuck himself to the side of the abandoned building, the people of Amegakure being evacuated at the nearest sign of hostility. He blocked a downward swipe of Samehada with a lance of frost, allowing the weapon to shatter after leaving the danger zone and motioning the shards to attack the shark-like nin, who batted them away carelessly.

As the nuke-nin from Kirigakure (Hidden in the Mist) charged towards him once more, he spat a cloud of neurotoxin, which was dodged if only barely. However, the distraction was used to the fullest as a gesture from Naruto's hand caused a lightning bolt to arc from it and slam into the Samehada, numbing the swordsman's arm with the electricity.

Switching Samehada to his less proficient hand, the former Kiri-nin continued to swing at him with the same bloodthirsty expression on his face, only slightly dulled by having to use his off hand.

The white haired teenager's body exploded into shards of ice upon contact, attempting to flay Kisame, but only succeeding in causing many shallow wounds due to his tough skin. The real Naruto appeared from the spreading of frost upon the ground, having used it as a rudimentary ice mirror.

A large shadow appeared over him, and he looked upward to find Deidara floating upon a large clay dragonfly that was shedding 'scales' of clay that quickly formed into miniature dragonflies, headed directly towards him. Annoyed, he flicked his fingers upwards, spreading several hundred sparks of white flame into the air and causing a chain reaction of explosions while he escaped under the cloud of detonation.

Appearing in the air from a void, he dropped like a sky diver towards the clay-user. Amethyst eyes narrowed as globes of water rotated around him. Passing near the former Iwa-nin, the globes multiplied exponentially before exploding in a shower of boiling water.

The blonde nin let out a yell of pain as his right side was burned by the water, discreetly molding clay in his mouth.

Landing upon the ground lightly, Naruto was forced to flip through the air once again to avoid the deadly 'shaving' edge of the Samehada. Kisame seemed to have gained use of his arm once again, as he was quickly doing hand seals, a swirling vortex of water appearing behind him, drawn out of the air.

"**Suiton: Daibakufu (Water Element: Great Waterfall)"**

The spinning column of water shot forward, only to be captured within the mana released around the Black Mage. The column _bent_ around him, doing a complete 180 degree turn and launching back towards the caster. The former Kiri-nin leapt out of the way, quickly working on different hand seals.

"**Suiton: Bakusui Shouha! (Water Element: Exploding Water Shockwave)"**

A gushing spout of water shot out of the shark-like nin's mouth, pouring hundreds, possibly thousands, of gallons of water out of nothingness. The water level rose around the battlefield, easily ten feet deep. Unfortunately for Kisame, a feral grin pulled at the Black Mage's mouth. From his vigil on the side of the building, Naruto pulled one of the threads binding him to the element of water and released it with a _twang_ that was visible to both Kisame and Deidara.

Amethyst eyes bled to aquatic blue as the thousands of gallons of water moved at his command, forming an abomination of the element with Naruto at the center. It was several stories tall, and shaped like a Kraken out of myth. Dozens of thick tentacles suspended the main body off the ground, with Naruto situated inside the 'head'.

Thrashing the tentacles of water around, he decimated the surrounding area with pulverizing force, seeking to bury Kisame beneath the rubble. Deidara, knowing when his assistance was needed, spat the clay out of his mouth where it formed a replication of himself and divebombed the Kraken. A tentacle swatted it, only to cause it to disintegrate into brown 'dust' that was absorbed within the monstrosity. The blonde Akatsuki lifted a hand to his mouth and yelled out loud enough for Naruto to hear within the watery depths of the aberration.

"Behold the beauty of my art! Katsu!"

The 'dust' exploded upon a molecular level, destroying the Kraken in a shower of water that caused monsoon-like rain all over the battleground. Naruto, lightly scorched by the heating of the water from the explosion, glared at the blonde, his eyes returning to purple as the downpour turned to ice. Once again pulling a string of elemental manipulation hard enough for it to twang, his eyes bled into an icy color, the frozen needles exploding into a flurry of motion.

Kisame, using his own advanced water manipulation, was able to deflect the needle storm from harming him. Deidara, who had the primary affinity for earth, was unable to do so and died in an explosion worthy of being called beautiful art.

The needles rotated around the floating Black Mage, forming into an intricate sculpture of frost. A diamond-like prism at the center encased the Black Mage, while thick icicle chunks rotated around the center much like electrons around an atom.

The environment around the elemental flash froze, buildings freezing over, the ground turning to ice, and Kisame's blood ran cold. The center prism had a temperature of absolute zero. Within the Black Mage's head, the entity sang a requiem for the death this form would cause, the beautiful music reverberating throughout the elemental entity like a tuning fork and sending chills throughout Kisame's spine.

The elemental floated serenely in the sky, the icicles whirling lazily around the prism until, at an unknown stimulus, it attacked. Arctic winds blew forth, slivers of ice hidden within the gusts of white wind towards the shark-nin. Kisame, his body sluggish from the proximity to the construct, was able to escape with a few deep gashes on his left arm.

A blast of hot fire slammed into the prism, not doing much more than melting the rime upon it which was quickly replaced. The prism 'turned' towards the intruder, the white wind swirling hatefully around it.

A male figure, roughly 6'2" in height and covered almost completely by Akatsuki garb had appeared. His face was masked from the nose down, with only his eyes shown, and he wore a bandanna with a scratched Takigakure (Hidden in the Waterfall) plate on it. His eyes were rather odd, with the whites being a bloody red, and the iris and pupil being a filmy green. Behind him was a towering demonic bear-like black creature with a tiger mask.

The masked behemoth opened its maw and discharged another wave of scorching flame, melting one of the icicle 'electrons' while Kakuzu attempted to retrieve Kisame from his proximity to the elemental to prevent the former Kiri-nin from freezing to death. Unfortunately, the threads he spread from his hand were shredded by another arctic blast as the entity floated closer towards Kisame in a possessive gesture.

Naruto, his mind obscured by that of the element of ice itself, refused to have such an ugly aberration take his possession away from him. The shark one was _his_, and nothing the rag doll could do could take him away! A gale force blast of frozen air was sent towards Kakuzu once again as the elemental lowered itself to Kisame, freezing his body entirely by the proximity to the absolute zero core, where he was shattered by a deceptively gentle tap of an icicle.

A second masked behemoth appeared behind Kakuzu, this one with an eagle mask. Its body was a strange four legged creature and had thin thread-like wings behind it. It opened its beak and blew a hurricane force wind; combining with the tiger masked one to cause a boiling firestorm that shot towards the ice elemental.

The intense heat melted all of the rotating icicles by proximity, and began to eat away at the frozen core, only for the core to form itself into a shield to protect its inhabitant while the Black Mage teleported away, the element fading from his mind as his eyes returned to purple.

Grimacing in distaste at how possessive and vain the element of frost was, he gestured with his fingers, whipping up an opposing force of wind threaded with water to extinguish the firestorm.

Kakuzu was quite interested in the teenager's ability, as he had yet to see anyone who was able to create such powerful beings like he was able to. Granted, his were created out of hearts of those he had killed, and were formed of threads. Naruto's, however, were created out of an element and seemed to have a mind of their own while he was safely encased within the center.

The wind thread monster discharged another blast of wind, this one leveling and shattering the frozen battlefield with intense air pressure. The ground below him cracked and groaned in protest as Naruto, who had avoided the shrapnel of ice by sinking into the ground, cast another spell.

The ground collapsed inward, creating a large crater below the Taki nuke-nin and forcing him to stumble. A spear of earth shot from the ground, attempting to impale him through the chest, only to shatter against his hardened skin. Inside the ground, Naruto frowned at what he was feeling from the nuke-nin. It seemed the man was another 'immortal', though his ties to the material plane were human in origin, not divine.

Above ground, Kakuzu was repeatedly attacked by grasping arms of earth, monstrous humanoid golems of soil, and lances of rock. The thread using ninja, annoyed at being attacked without being able to counter in turn, detached the lightning mask from his back and formed its body.

The bull-like mask had a deformed humanoid body, towering over Kakuzu's tall height. Lowering its claw-like hands to the ground, it blasted high voltage electricity into the earth, tearing it apart due to earth's elemental weakness to lightning. Several hundred feet of earth was torn apart in the upheaval, revealing a lightly scorched Black Mage waist deep in rock below him. The upheaval had widened and deepened the crater, making it seem as if Naruto were an ant lion within its sand den.

The skies cried in protest as hundreds of thick bolts of lightning shot from the heavens, illuminating the crater in a beam of white light, destroying the earth mask held on Kakuzu's back and frying his water heart. The thunder caused by tearing the air itself asunder cracked the earth around them and burst both their eardrums. The nuke-nin was only able to save his life by absorbing the lightning heart into his body, and having the wind mask protect the fire mask from damage by using lightning's elemental weakness to wind.

Freeing himself from the grasp of the earth and heedless of the blood flowing from his ears, Naruto charged towards Kakuzu, throwing several lightning bolts from his hands only to be sliced asunder by the wind mask. Changing tactics, he created a swirling monsoon of water and wind, sending it towards the two remaining elemental masks while he flung gusts of slicing wind at Kakuzu.

The nuke-nin and the masks countered in sync, with the masks blowing another scorching firestorm and causing the monsoon to evaporate, while Kakuzu did incredibly quick hand seals, speaking of decades of experience.

"**Raiton: Gian! (Lightning Element: False Darkness)"**

A spear of lightning shot from his mouth, splitting into several lances of lightning as they aimed to impale the Black Mage. Naruto was able to deflect the majority of them, but was impaled through the stomach by one of them, forcing a gasp of pain from his mouth as the electricity sparked through him.

Forcing himself to disregard the pain, he clutched one arm around his bleeding midsection and pulled a particular elemental string taut until it twanged in response. Glowing orbs of white light sparked into existence, whirling protectively around the injured Black Mage before merging together with Naruto at the center.

They formed a humanoid being, roughly twelve feet in height with absurdly long claws in place of fingers. Its form was tall and lanky, but no gender could be discerned from the figure. It was a pure white color, though solid unlike the light it was formed out of. Its eyes were glowing orbs of colorless light, glaring hatefully at the being that had harmed its creator.

It sliced its claws through the air, spawning thin blades that flung towards the surprised nuke-nin, exploding on contact with the ground as Kakuzu dodged. The figure leapt acrobatically through the air, claws working in a flurry as it launched a storm of the nonelemental creations.

Finally close enough to the masks that were trying fruitlessly to protect their own master, it raked its lethal claws through the body of the wind mask, causing it to be rent asunder from the inside out. It turned upon the fire mask, bending grotesquely to avoid a flamethrower spat out of the tiger mask's maw and suffering only slight burns from the fire.

"**Raiton: Gian (Lightning Element: False Darkness)"**

Another lance of lightning shot towards the nonelemental entity, who only stared apathetically at it impacted upon a shield of white light. The shield held for a few moments, preventing the lightning from piercing it. As soon as the lightning quit coming, the shield was then used as projectile to throw at the fire mask, which dodged out of the way.

Irritated at the rag-doll who continued to avoid its inevitable death, it let out a screech of anger, glowing brightly. The crater that they were still fighting in was enlarged once again as the nonelemental entity succumbed to its volatile nature and exploded spectacularly, taking the fire mask with it and severely wounding Kakuzu.

The paradoxical colorless irises bled back to purple as the wounded Black Mage approached the bleeding nuke-nin. An expression akin to pity appeared on his face as hundreds of wind blades shredded the 'immortal', destroying his last heart and sending the ninety two year old nuke-nin to the afterlife.

Turning away from the decimated battlefield, he teleported away with a morbid thought in his mind.

'_Four down, six to go.'_

* * *

Hundreds of feet away…

He appeared in a swirl of wind, a bandage of sand wrapped protectively around his stomach and back wounds. He felt that one of the Akatsuki were near, and charged his mana preemptively.

Uchiha Itachi appeared from behind one of the buildings, the trail of blood under his right eye dry, and Mangekyou still swirling within his sockets. A second figure approached, hunched over and with a ragged face mask concealing their mouth.

Not taking any time for witty banter, the Uchiha stared directly into his eyes and activated one of his strongest techniques.

"**Tsukuyomi (God of the Moon)"**

The world bled to darkness, Naruto's last sight being the hunched figure approaching his crumpling body.

* * *

Inside the world of Tsukuyomi…

A bloody moon hung in the night sky, casting a red light upon the surroundings. The colors of the world bled away, leaving only red, white, and black, as Naruto appeared, crucified upon a cross, with Uchiha Itachi standing before him.

"This is the world of Tsukuyomi. Here, I am in control. I control time, space, and even the mass of objects. For the next 72 hours, you will be tortured."

Before his sword could be drawn, a new presence made itself known. The red dissolved to be replaced with green, a looming figure towering over the cross Naruto was pinned to.

"He is my child (my weapon), my beloved (my sentinel). I will not let you harm him, Uchiha (disgusting wretch)."

Before the Uchiha could comprehend what had happened, his essence was obliterated by the force of will of the entity.

* * *

Real world…

Sasori halted his approach as Uchiha Itachi let out a blood curdling scream of horror. The puppet master turned to face the Sharingan master, only to blink rapidly in surprise. From the center of his left eye which contained the Tsukuyomi, thick thorny roots were growing. They ripped out of his eye, wrapping around Itachi's neck before snapping it, and continued to grow even after the Uchiha had died, enveloping his body in its embrace.

The Black Mage stirred, and wind swirled protectively around his body, lashing out at Sasori who was close. The blades of wind hacked through most of his puppet body, revealing his true form.

He looked to be around twenty years old, and was half naked wearing only a pair of shinobi pants. Metal blades extended from his back on rods in a parody of wings, allowing him to fly. A compartment on the right side of his chest opened, revealing a brightly glowing mass of chakra. His body was only around 5'3" tall, with bloody red hair and deceptively soft brown eyes. Shaking off his surprise, Sasori quickly pulled out a scroll from a holster built into his back, unsealing his puppets.

"**Aka Higi: Hyakki no Soen (Red Secret Technique: Performance of a Hundred Puppets)"**

True to form, a hundred red clothed human puppets were unsealed, each connected to the glowing core of chakra in the right side chest compartment by a single chakra string. All one hundred and one puppets (Sasori included) turned to face Naruto, who twanged another elemental string in response.

A windstorm focused itself around his body, his eyes bleeding to a bright green as the wind became visible. It spiraled around one point on the ground, becoming a light green as the avatar of wind created itself. Naruto was encased within a deep green globe of wind held aloft in the middle of the slicing winds, protectively embraced within a cocoon of breeze surpassing four hundred mph.

Sasori was intrigued by this ability, and leapt into the fray with his puppets, firing every mechanism he knew of at the wind elemental. The needles, kunai, and other weapons were simply blown away in the jade airstreams spiraling from the ground, while the poison gas was simply dispersed. Focusing his chakra in his puppet body, he unsealed the flamethrowers in his arms and blew the fire directly at the green core.

The wind elemental huffed in righteous anger at the pitiful mockery that dared to attempt to burn it, and showed its mastery of the air itself by creating a vacuum in front of it. The lack of air in the vacuum smothered the flame instantly, and the slicing winds focused on the _puppet_ who dared to be human.

The puppets were flayed within the swirling windstorm thrown at them, while Sasori attempted to retreat. His retreat was cut off as the wind elemental created another vacuum, pulling Sasori into oblivion, his human heart destroyed within.

The wind gave off a feeling of smugness before dissipating, allowing its creator to land lightly on the ground. As a parting gesture, it ruffled his hair and embraced him within a warm wind before disappearing.

A plantlike figure melted out of the ground behind him, prompting him to spin on his heel to face the new assailant. It was a man, roughly 5'6" tall, encased within a pair of venus flytrap-like leaves. His body was separated in half vertically, with one half being white, the other black. Empty yellow eyes stared at him in interest, before he attacked.

Vines and grass sprang into life, snapping towards the Black Mage with ferocity unknown to most. Naruto's expression softened at the natural elements attacking him, and allowed them to make contact. Unfortunately for Zetsu, the plantlife merged with him, giving him an armor of vines and flora. When Naruto opened his eyes again, they were back to purple, and the last thing Zetsu heard was but a whisper carried on the wind.

"Your death shall be swift and painless."

Zetsu, unfortunately, was only powerful as a spy. His power at fighting was only equivalent to a jounin at most, and he died quickly and painlessly to a burst of white fire igniting inside him.

Naruto's expression softened at the ashes of his attacker, and held his hands together in a praying gesture for the dead nin. He turned to leave, feeling quite weary of the fighting, his stock of mana quite depleted by the heavy magicks used.

Feeling three sets of eyes upon him, he sat with his back against a building nearby to regain some energy. The entity within his mind wrapped around his thoughts like a protective parent, crooning lowly to relax him.

* * *

With Kyuubi…

The plush fox was able to sense everything going on with the Black Mage, and secretly was worried. He had never known that Naruto was able to meld himself with an element to the point where the element gained a mind of its own to fight for him. To relinquish control like that meant that Naruto was in dire need of assistance, and he tried as best as he can to undo the seals on the King of Hell statue.

Quite honestly, though Kyuubi was rather good with seals, the King of Hell seals were far out of his league. It was like comparing a chisel and slate to a computer. He felt Naruto give in to the nonelemental energy, the most volatile of all the magicks, and started panicking. Trying everything he could think of, he finally came to a conclusion.

He was going to have to do something drastic.

The only thing he could think of that would destroy the statue and release the bijuu would be to kamikaze bomb it. Doing so would obliterate the plush doll and seal binding him to it, leaving him as a soul with a body comprised of destructive youki. The attack would be the equivalent of smashing an electronic console hard enough to break it and opening a locked door.

Giving himself a few moments of silence, and a mental apology to the Black Mage who he had grown attached to, he passed his limits, enveloping the area with a haze of malicious youki.

* * *

With Naruto…

He stiffened noticeably when he felt his connection to his doll snap, like a string pulled too far. Turning his head towards where he had left his doll, he noticed a giant behemoth of youki in the shape of a nine tailed fox slamming a beam of concentrated youki into the ground. As more and more youki was spent in the attack, he realized what his friend was doing.

The fading form of the Kyuubi no Kitsune turned in his direction and bade a sad farewell, booming voice reaching his ears from so far away as the rest of the bijuu left with it to the realm of demons.

"Stay safe, brat. I'll miss you."

Naruto allowed himself only two tears, hardening his resolve as he turned towards the three remaining Akatsuki members. He rose from his spot against the wall, energy crackling around him in rage at losing his last family member. Purple lightning streaked across his form, his bloodied sand bandages reddening more as his wounds reopened. Black coloring bled across his sclera, leaving his purple irises untouched as he stalked towards where the final three enemies were, mind numb with grief.

Konan, touched deeply by the selfless act the Kyuubi had done in protection of its former container, came to a realization. Such acts would be performed countless more times should Akatsuki have continued with their plan, and it touched a raw nerve deep inside her emotionless demeanor, reminding her of her younger days. She remembered Yahiko being injured by an Iwa (Rock) chuunin, and how Nagato had activated his Rinnegan (Samsara or Transmigration Eye) in response, killing the chuunin.

She remembered how Nagato had gotten mortally wounded only a few years later, and how Yahiko, in a fit of self-sacrifice, had offered his own body to allow Nagato to live. It was the last time she had cried, mourning for her friend who had given his body up for another to live, his soul departing the shell once Nagato had entered the body. After that moment, she had been determined to never let her emotions be shown again.

As her mind speculated upon the countless thousands of others who would be torn apart by having to do such sacrifices for their precious people, her body moved in front of Pein, dead eyes hardened in determination.

"Nagato-kun, I cannot continue like this. Countless lives, friends, families would be torn asunder should Akatsuki complete its goal. I can't allow that to happen, nobody deserves it."

Pein's Rinnegan eyes softened slightly, before hardening as he grasped her by the collar of her shirt and flung her behind him.

"Then you leave me no choice. I will deal with him, and words will be had later for your insubordination."

As Pein and Madara moved to intercept the enraged Black Mage, the ground sublimated beneath the white haired teenager. Ribbons of sand swirled protectively around their controller as beige-tan coloring spread across his irises. He bared his teeth in a snarl as the sand elemental thread reverberated angrily, lifting him over a hundred feet in the air.

Sand whipped about angrily, forming a self sustaining tornado of sand, holding its creator aloft by enveloping his body up to his waist. It was only a few meters wide, but incredibly dense from so much sand whirling in such a small space.

Konan, sensing very real danger, performed a tactical retreat.

Pein, also sensing danger, quickly summoned his entire armada of summons in an attempt to subdue and kill the enraged Black Mage.

A giant crustacean, somewhat resembling a crab or lobster and about half the size of a bijuu, appeared. Flying above it was a bird with a drill-like beak. Standing next to the crustacean was a nine headed dog, growling angrily at the one who was a danger to its master. A giant panda with several stud-like piercings resembling that of Pein's own appeared in front of him in a defensive stance. A giant chameleon appeared below Pein, allowing him to ride atop it. It had a snake-like tail, and also had similar piercings as the panda. A giant yak rounded off the summons by appearing on the other side of the crustacean, also holding many of the same piercings.

Madara, knowing that he wouldn't be helpful in this battle, made a tactical retreat. He continued to watch from afar, though, with his Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan.

A wordless snarl erupted from the Black Mage's throat, mimicked by the swirling sandstorm which increased in speed as it began to spread across the landscape, flaying everything caught within its winds.

The panda hardened its skin, preventing it from being killed from the sandstorm as it began lumbering towards the center. As it got closer and closer, the skin hardening technique it was using began to crumble under the onslaught of sand. Almost at the center, it finally was sent back to the summon realm, having been 'killed' in the mortal realm by the sandstorm.

The dog, normally able to split apart whenever damage was dealt to it much like a hydra, found its ability becoming a weakness. It was split into infinitesimally small pieces, the sand hitting it far too many times for its ability to work adequately. It sent itself back to the summon realm, unable to assist its summoner.

The bird failed to get within the storm itself, 'dying' immediately upon contact with the flaying grains. The yak followed soon after.

The crustacean was the only one able to attempt to damage the elemental, spraying jets of water into the storm and weighing down much of the sand with the foaming liquid. Unfortunately, as soon as the sand elemental noticed, it focused its attack on the crustacean until it, too, died.

Pein, perched atop the final summon, the chameleon, became undetectable due to the chameleon's ability. Both vanished from sight, smell, and all other senses while Pein began sealing for a technique.

"**Katon: Zukokku (Fire Element: Head Mincing Pain)"**

He blew a very deceptively small fireball to the ground, still hidden by the chameleon which leapt away at its summoners mental insistence. The fireball smacked the ground and exploded into waves of flame that raced towards the sandstorm, melting any sand particles that came close into glass. It devoured a large amount of sand due to being fed by the raging winds inside the sandstorm before succumbing to the suffocation of the sand.

He continued to use guerilla warfare against the elemental, until half of the sand had been melted to glass upon the ground, forcing the Black Mage to calm down and think rationally. The twister writhed in response to his mental commands, before it solidified into a column of sand, detaching tendrils of sand to seek out the unseen menace.

Using his Rinnegan, Pein spawned several jets of flame out of the air, augmenting them with stiff breezes to blow a storm of fire at the solidified sand column. Now that his enemy had a more substantial body, he used the Rinnegan's ability to control the elements to the best of his ability. Geysers of water punched through the ground, splashing against the sand column, hindering movement while lightning, wind, and fire all attempted to melt it to glass.

Unfortunately for Pein, his usage of the Rinnegan for offensive uses caused a fluctuation in the control he had over the chameleon, causing the technique hiding him to waver. That single moment in which Naruto found his presence was his downfall, the Black Mage pouring all his rage and hatred into one attack and impaling him upon several spines of sand from the ground.

The elemental effects ceased as their controller was mortally injured, and Naruto teleported to the body with a grim look upon his visage. Just as he was about to close the dying man's eyes with his hand, the leader of Akatsuki gave one command.

"Madara! Now!"

The first Uchiha appeared behind Naruto with a look of morbid glee on his face, Eternal Mangekyou swirling in his sockets as he used the final attack of the Mangekyou Sharingan.

"**Ame-no-Uzume (Goddess of the Dawn)"**

The technique was quite powerful, as Naruto learned. Spears of light impaled him through the chest, stomach, thighs, calves, shoulders, and forearms. Unable to be dodged due to moving at the speed of light, he could only cough up blood in surprise.

The entity within his mind screamed for retribution, using its anchor in the world to assist it. The roots covering Uchiha Itachi exploded into growth, ascending to a majestic tree reaching into the heavens. It was the last thing Pein saw before he died, and it was quite possibly the most beautiful thing the Rinnegan wielder had beheld.

Madara, shocked by the appearance of the tree, let the spears of light fade away in his surprise. The tree's roots grasped the mortally wounded Black Mage, moving him halfway up the trunk where he was held within a gentle embrace. He bled out his life slowly over the vines attempting to hold his injuries closed, and the tree's voice _boomed_ over the landscape.

"Fool (forsaken one)! You dare attack my guardian (beloved)?! You will suffer (for eternity)!"

The roots tore up the landscape, thrashing in an attempt to kill the first Uchiha, who used a space/time technique to make himself intangible. Enraged at the audacity, the tree captured him within a void of space itself, collapsing it like a black hole and obliterating his body.

The tree intoned a gentle elegy that played out over the landscape as fire rained from the heavens upon the decimated Amegakure, razing it to the ground to allow new growth to begin from the ashes of what once was. Konan, suffering only a slight burn from the rain of fire before she could escape it, collapsed against a tree and watched the scene with a sense of detached awe and sadness. She mourned for her deceased teammate, as well as the white haired stranger who had given his life for those who would have been affected by Akatsuki's plots. Trails of tears fell from her eyes as she hugged herself against the encroaching feelings of loneliness.

* * *

Elsewhere…

Many people had sensed the incredible destruction happening in the direction of Amegakure while the Black Mage was fighting. Zabuza, pulled along by Haku (who had a feeling it had something to do with Naruto) were the first on the scene. They were closely followed by Jiraiya and Yamato who had been sent by Tsunade. Sasuke, having snuck out to find the feeling of power (and stubbornly refusing to believe he had become a eunuch) followed them.

None of them had any idea who the crying blue haired kunoichi was, aside from Jiraiya who hopped down to her and asked her a question.

"Konan…? What happened?"

The paper using kunoichi recanted the tale of the white haired teenager who had fought off the Akatsuki, and defeated them all one by one. Her tone was empty and dead, something contrasting against her tear stricken face as she spoke of how every single Akatsuki member but her had died. She was the lone survivor, spared only due to her regret at the actions of the organization.

The rain of fire halted, the flames smothered as the tree felt the ones close to its beloved approach.

Sasuke, unwilling to believe his ears, followed them up the roots towards the trunk. All of them were in awe of the tree, though Haku sprinted ahead of them, afraid of what she'd find.

She gave a soft cry of despair when she reached the base of the trunk, Naruto's body being lowered toward the base to allow them to be near the Black Mage in his last moments.

His clothing was ripped, with vines growing all over him from Zetsu's attack and holding his wounds as closed as they could, though the crimson blood still spilled over the makeshift bandages. The black that had obscured his sclera had retreated with his rage. His purple eyes were dull with his upcoming death, and blood spilled over his chin, stained his hair, and covered his clothing from his coughing and bleeding.

Even with all his injuries, he was still able to speak in a soft, halting tone.

"Haku-chan…? Zabuza-san? Heh… never thought I'd die this way. Jiraiya-san and Yamato-san, too? Well, at least I won't die feeling alone against this tree."

He spat blood to the side, fixating his eyes on Sasuke, who seemed to be glaring daggers at him.

"I remember you… Uchiha Sasuke. Your brother and ancestor gave me a much better fight. Itachi's fire was stronger than my own, though his genjutsu led to his death. Madara's technique is the one that got me. You should be honored to be descended of such a line, though you will never reach their heights."

The Uchiha lunged at him, as if to kill his brother's killer, only for Jiraiya to knock him out. Yamato spoke his mind, still regarding the tree with something akin to hero worship.

"Naruto…? What kind of tree is this?"

The Black Mage spoke, his voice tinged with affection for the tree.

"Nordrassil, the Guardian of All Creation."

The tree hummed in pride at the title, feeding information into the Black Mage's mind. In its own wordless way, it outlined that it wished for Naruto to become one with it, to be its guardian for all of time. Flashes of a willowy, pointy eared race flitted through his mind; the tree's stewards and wards. It sustained their immortality, and in return they protected it.

Zabuza kneeled in honor of the valiant fighter dying before him, zanbato held horizontal over his bent knee. He performed a quick prayer, before standing. Naruto gazed at him with an odd look, before he coughed in laughter.

"Take good care of Haku-chan, Zabuza-san."

The nuke-nin grinned and nodded in response.

Turning to Jiraiya, Naruto had only one thing to say.

"Please tell Tsunade-san that I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise to her."

The hermit was only able to nod sadly, offering his own prayer.

Naruto, feeling the last of his life slipping away, gestured with his hand in a final movement, throwing them off the tree to land lightly on the ground. They watched in awe as the Black Mage was absorbed into the trunk, blinking in surprise as the entire tree faded from existence, taking the Black Mage with it.

A soft voice echoed in the wind as it finally disappeared.

"I will stand guard for all of time."

Jiraiya, stalling his grief, moved to where the tree had been grown from and sealed the crushed body of Uchiha Itachi into a scroll. Both eyes had been completely destroyed by the weight of the giant tree, and it would take a medical exam to figure out if it truly was Itachi.

Yamato, Zabuza, Haku, and Konan traveled from body to body, burning and burying the various nuke-nin to prevent people from stealing their secrets post-mortem. Konan was allowed a few minutes alone with Pein's corpse to say her goodbyes.

Many gaped in awe at the sheer destruction wrought against the ground, such as the crater spanning hundreds of feet wide and deep, as well as the shattered frozen remains of many buildings. After debating on what to do with Hidan's body, as he was never truly dead though it would be impossible to heal him, they tossed him into the deep point of the crater and used several Doton (Earth Element) techniques to fill the crater.

Haku and Zabuza paid their respects for their fallen friend, erecting a small gravestone for him where Itachi's body once laid before wandering once more.

Konan, her only tie left in the world being Jiraiya, followed the toad summoner, the Mokuton (Wood Element) user, and the Uchiha's unconscious body back to Konoha. She had never been a nuke-nin, instead being a ninja of Amegakure which was no more, the inhabitants scattered to the winds of change, their village destroyed.

* * *

Over time, Konan became a ninja of Konoha, teaching her unique brand of ninjutsu (oddly named Origami Element) to ninja who had no elemental affinity. Sasuke committed suicide, his two goals in life of restoring the Uchiha clan and killing his brother barred from his grasp forever by the 'dobe'.

The world's reaction to the destruction of Akatsuki at the cost of the S-class nuke-nin known as Kouhai no Naruto (Naruto of Devastation) was rather odd. Every single shinobi village sent an envoy to the remains of Amegakure, paying their respects to the fallen Black Mage. His title was renamed post-mortem to Wakagaeri no Naruto (Naruto of Rejuvenation) due to his penchant for using plant techniques, and for turning Otogakure (Hidden in the Sound) into a lush forest.

Konoha's Council was disbanded after slamming the irrefutable evidence of his parentage into their faces by Tsunade. Several were wracked by inconsolable guilt for it, unable to apologize due to his death. Tsunade refused to create a new Council, stating that such power had corrupted the other Councils, and that it was much easier to assassinate a corrupt Hokage than a corrupt Council.

* * *

With Naruto…

After being absorbed within the physical manifestation of Nordrassil's power, he was swept away into the tree's home world; Azeroth. Encased within the protective grasp of the guardian tree, his body was reconstructed to suit his status as a guardian of the tree. He spent years within the center of the tree itself, his aging halting in the mid twenties.

He became a guardian spirit born of the tree. Eternally bound to the tree, should his body die once again, he would simply be reborn from the tree.

Perfect in every physical aspect, he retained his height of 6'1", though his aesthetic appearance changed drastically due to his affinity for frost and flora. His body lost a lot of its core heat, his skin paling and turning a light blue hue of hypothermia. His lips became pale, his ears elongating slightly and tapering to a sharp point. Hair was replaced with fine mauve colored vines, capable of sprouting miniscule thorns that could flay flesh from bone. His eyes retained their amethyst hue of purple.

In addition to his physical changes, the World Tree gently submerged his mind in information of the world around him, teaching him of the world's inhabitants. The connection between the two strengthened, allowing Naruto to finally let go of his iron control on his emotions and cast forbidden magic without a focus without being overwhelmed by power.

He learned of the Night Elves, or Kaldorei, who would be under his protection, their culture, their leaders, and their history.

He learned of the history of the world, everything that Nordrassil had learned over the ages. Steeped in ancient knowledge, he absorbed it all.

The time came when his protection was required, and his eyes opened within the trunk. Easing himself awake, he teleported out of the wooden embrace with nary a sound.

* * *

He appeared from the ground directly in front of Jaina Proudmoore with a quirk of his pale lips. The sorceress stiffened in surprise, holding her battle staff aloft and prepared to attack the would-be assassin, before he spoke in Darnassian-accented Common.

"You have no need to fear me, sorceress. I am here to protect my tree."

Without acknowledging her existence further, he turned towards the oncoming army of demons. Augmenting his voice with the power of Nordrassil, his challenge boomed across the battlefield.

"Archimonde the Defiler! You dare to threaten my domain, my tree, my _life_! You will suffer an eternity of torment for harming my charges and threatening the balance!"

Malfurion Stormrage, who had been preparing a ritual to use the life force of Nordrassil to destroy the Eradar, halted in his casting. A Darnassian curse bloomed in his mind as he realized what the tree had just done in its defense, and he hurried to the battlefield to prevent any of their allies' troops being caught in the crossfire.

The closest translation to the curse upon the tip of his tongue was echoed by Tyrande Whisperwind, Thrall, and Jaina.

"Oh _shit_."

* * *

Author's Note: Complete! And I followed through with my odd tradition of leaving the ending completely open to a sequel. Huzzah huzzah.

Oh. I finally found a translation for the Hymn of the Fayth.

_Pray to Yu Yevon. Dream, fayth. Forever and ever, grant us prosperity._

Unfortunately, it takes some interesting reconstruction of the syllables.

**The original lyrics to the Song of Prayer are as follows:**

Ieyui  
Nobomeno  
Renmiri  
Yojuyogo  
Hasatekanae  
Kutamae

**This can be translated by rearranging the syllables. Take the first four words and rearrange the syllables vertically.**

i noreyo  
e bon ju  
yumemiyo  
i norigo

_Pray Saviour  
Dream Child of Prayer_

**Arrange the last two words into a rectangle and an L, respectively.**

hatena  
sakae  
ku  
tamae

_Forever and ever  
Bring us peace_

**This gives us the "real lyrics" to the Song of Prayer:**

Inore yo, Ebonju  
Yume mi yo, inorigo  
Hatenaku  
Sakaetamae

Pray to Yu Yevon  
Dream, fayth  
Forever and ever,  
grant us prosperity

As stated on http://lyricwiki dot org/Nobuo_Uematsu:Song_Of_Prayer_(Hymn_Of_The_Fayth)


End file.
